by E. N. Joy
Glaring at the girl the entire time, Doreen slowly walked over to the nightstand that sat beside her and Willie’s bed. Once there, she gently slid the top drawer open and reached in.
“Oh, God, no,” Shanna began to whimper. “Please God, no.”
“Doreen, honey . . .” Willie held his hands up in surrender. “What you doing over there, Reen?”
With her hand still in the drawer, Doreen stopped and looked at Willie. “What’s the matter, Willie? Is this feeling a little like déjà vu? Well, don’t worry. This time it will be different. This time I got something for both of you.” And on that note Doreen pulled her hand out of the drawer, which now had something black and hard in it. It was trimmed in silver. And it was about to change everybody’s life in that room.
“Thou shall not commit adultery. Thou shall not fornicate. . .” Doreen found every scripture she possibly could in relation to the situation at hand. And for the past hour she’d sat there going over the scriptures with both Shanna and Willie.
Doreen was the only one dressed. When she had ordered Willie and Shanna to sit on each side of her while she opened the black hardback Bible with pages trimmed in silver, they’d tried to get dress first.
“No need to get dressed,” Doreen had told them sternly. “God’s already pulled the covers off of you and seen your naked selves. No use trying to cover up now.”
Glad that what Doreen had pulled out of the nightstand drawer was a Bible and not a gun, the two obliged. Strangely enough, after about a half hour, each of them had almost forgotten the circumstances which had led to a mini-Bible Study session.
“You know, they shouldn’t be so scared to teach us this stuff in youth church,” Shanna said. “I wish I’d learned all this before—just what it means to present my body to God as a living sacrifice—holy and acceptable.” She looked down in shame. “Now it’s too late.”
Doreen was quick to tell Shanna, “Child, it’s never too late. It’s never too late to repent to God and give yourself to Him. To Him . . .” She looked over at Willie, rolled her eyes, then turned her attention back to Shanna. “. . . not some man who ain’t even your husband—who’s somebody else’s husband.”
“Really?” Shanna asked Doreen, looking a little unsure.
Doreen nodded. “Really. Trust me. I know. Just say a prayer of repentance.”
“That’s all?” Still, Shanna looked unsure.
“That’s all,” Doreen assured her.
The girl swallowed, lifted her hands, and closed her eyes. Her mouth opened to form the first words of her prayer, but then Doreen stopped her.
“One more thing, though,” Doreen said. “You have to mean it in your heart.”
“Oh, I mean it,” Shanna said, as she assumed the position and began a prayer of repentance to God.
Willie sat as still as a statue on the other side of Doreen while Doreen herself watched the tears flow from Shanna’s eyes as she repented to God. She not only repented for the act of fornication and adultery, but for several other things as well. She was so into her words to God that she forgot Doreen and Willie were even in the room. Once she was finished, Doreen shocked herself and everybody else in the room when she threw her arms around the weeping teen and told her that everything was going to be all right—that from this day forward she was renewed in Christ and that God was giving her another chance.
Doreen closed the Bible and stood from the bed. She picked the girl’s clothes up off the floor and threw them in her lap. “Get dressed and get home,” Doreen told her.
Shanna didn’t have to be told twice as she quickly followed orders and got dressed. Once she was dressed she stood there, making sure Doreen was finished with her.
“You know your way out,” Doreen told her.
Shanna scurried toward the door before Doreen changed her mind and pulled something else up out of that nightstand drawer. Doreen stared down at the floor and didn’t look up. But she did hear Shanna’s feet stop in her tracks once she made it to the bedroom door. She then heard her say. “I’m sorry, Ms. Doreen. I’m sorry this had to happen. But I’m glad it did.”
Doreen looked up sharply, and Shanna quickly explained herself.
“Because had it not happened, no telling what would have become of my life. So I thank you, Ms. Doreen. Thank you.” She turned to leave again, but as if having another sudden thought, she stopped and turned around again to speak, but Doreen cut her off.
“No, Shanna. No, I’m not going to tell your momma.”
Shanna nodded, half-smiled, and then was gone.
There was silence before Willie spoke. “I don’t know what just happened here, Reen, but I feel like a changed man. Just sitting here seeing you—I mean, I know it was nothing . . . it was nobody but God. It had to be God in you doing all that. I mean, ’cuz I’ve seen what the flesh in you can do.” Willie had slipped on his boxers and now stood. “Baby, I’m so sorry, and I promise . . . I swear on everything breathing I will never cheat on you again. I’m sorry, baby, for real. I’ll make it up to you. I’ll make everything up to you. Just tell me what to do. What do you want me to do for you, Doreen?”
Doreen looked at her husband knowing that what he was shooting off right now was nothing but talk. Yeah, he’d been moved by what had just taken place the last hour. He wanted to change, but she knew he wouldn’t—not really. This move of God would have an affect on him for about a week; two at the most. He’d join her for church a few consecutive Sundays, go down to the altar to get prayer and hands laid on him. But then he’d be back to his old self. Not because God couldn’t change him, but because deep down inside he didn’t want God to change him. And Doreen could hardly fault Willie for that. She knew firsthand what it felt like to not want change . . . to fear change. Perhaps a fear of change was exactly what was keeping her by Willie’s side. Willie was the only man she’d ever been with. Life without Willie would mean a big change for Doreen. She couldn’t even envision her life without him. And on top of that, she’d made some poor decisions too, and Willie had stood by her. Heck, perhaps the two were made for each other. At least those were the reasons that would get Doreen through her years with Willie.
Perhaps this wouldn’t be the last time she’d catch Willie with another woman, had to pray, pull out the Bible to read scripture, and even get a couple of his mistresses saved. Keeping that pushed in the back of her mind, Doreen knew not to ask of Willie more than he was capable of doing. Otherwise she’d be setting herself up to fail.
“Please, Reen, tell me. What can I do?”
Doreen took a deep breath. She looked down at their bed her husband had just defiled with another woman and said, “You can wash my sheets,” then exited the room.
Chapter Forty-seven
“I should have left him,” Mother Doreen said to herself as her mind returned to the present day. “I would have left him,” Mother Doreen said somberly to Lauren. “Had I known he’d left you back in West Virginia with a child to tend to, I’d left him.” Mother Doreen didn’t know if those words were true, if she was just saying them now that Willie was gone and she didn’t have a choice but to picture life without him, or if she was just saying it to make Lauren feel better. She was saying them nonetheless. After all, Mother Doreen wasn’t the same woman today as she was years ago.
“What decent woman would stay with a man who she knows abandoned his own child?” Mother Doreen continued. “Who she knows isn’t taking care of his child? How could she stand to be with him?” Mother Doreen began to rub her arms as if she had the heebie-jeebies. “How could she stand to lie up with somebody, have them buy her food and keep a roof over her head, and he won’t even do it for his own helpless child?” Mother Doreen shook her head.
“Not that I’m defending Willie or anything,” Lauren said, “but Willie did take care of his responsibilities with Terrance; moneywise, anyway.” She shrugged and continued. “No, he wasn’t there for him in the physical like a boy needs a daddy to be. But every month like cloc
kwork, he sent my mother a check.” Lauren stared off. “‘Willie done sent more money to take care of the boy,’ my mother would tell me on her visits. ‘Still no return address,’ she’d add.”
“So Willie was sending money for Terrance?” Mother Doreen couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
“Yep. When the first envelope of money ever came, my mother said it had a note in it saying he was sorry, but he’d be a man and send money for his child until the day he died.” Lauren sighed. “Well, when the money stopped coming, we knew then Willie had died. I mean, he didn’t keep good on all his promises . . . but the one that counted most I guess . . .”
Mother Doreen’s mouth dropped open at the epiphany that had just landed on her. “So that’s where all the missing money was going. He wasn’t gambling. He was sending the money here to West Virginia to take care of his son.”
“Cash too—every time. I guess so there was no way of tracing it,” Lauren said.
“Oh, Willie,” Mother Doreen said, “why didn’t you just tell me? Why didn’t you just tell me, you old fool?”
“’Cause just like you said, you would have left him. Heck, even I knew that. A thousand times I thought of just finding you and telling you myself. I knew he’d leave you and come back to me.” A sad expression covered Lauren’s face. “But at the same time, I knew he’d only be coming back to me because he couldn’t be with you anymore. And I . . . well, I didn’t want him that way. A part of me did. But it was that feeling of him wanting to be with me, not settling for me, that drove me. That made me feel alive. And so when I didn’t feel alive anymore, I just died. I just lay down and died.” Tears flowed from Lauren’s eyes and her nose began to run.
Mother Doreen handed her a tissue.
After wiping her nose and a few tears away, Lauren confessed, “Do you know I never even held my baby boy?” The tears came harder, and Lauren’s shoulders began to heave up and down. “I couldn’t do it. He reminded me of everything that hurt. He reminded me of everything painful. He reminded me of everything bad.” She sniffed, and then calmed down a little. “He felt like an Ishmael in a weird sort of way. Like God was giving me a sign when I lost the first baby with Willie; then I run off and had to have another one. It was all my will and not God’s at all. And my poor baby had to suffer for it. My poor baby.”
Once again, Lauren’s shoulders began to heave up and down as she cried hard. Mother Doreen went and placed her hand on Lauren’s shoulder. After a few seconds, Lauren looked at Mother Doreen’s hand, and then placed hers on top of it. Then the two women looked into each other’s eyes but never said a word. Their eyes did all the talking for them. This was it. This was the moment each woman had needed in her life in order to be set free.
As painful as it had been to learn the truth for Mother Doreen, it had set her free indeed. She and Lauren apologizing and forgiving each other had, figuratively speaking, loosened the cap on the jar that once held the butterfly. Now the lid had been lifted and the butterfly was free—for Mother Doreen anyway. But she knew for Lauren, there was still a little more untightening of the cap that needed to be done, and just as if God had read her mind, the door cracked open.
“Momma, it’s been awhile.” Terrance peeked his head in. “Are you okay?” He walked all the way in. “The doctor is out here, Momma . . . and the nurse. Can we come in?”
Lauren looked at her son and shook her head. “Not yet.”
Terrance nodded and went to close the door.
“Just you,” Lauren stopped him. “Just you come in. Because there’s something I need to give you. And then there’s something I need from you.” Lauren looked at Mother Doreen, who smiled and nodded, knowing that what Lauren needed to give and get from her son was exactly what Mother Doreen had needed to give and get from Lauren.
“What? What is it, Mother?” Terrance hurried over to his mother’s bedside. That was Mother Doreen’s cue to give mother and son time alone. She made sure she had all of her belongings, then headed to the door. Before exiting she looked over at the pair, knowing that in just a few moments, the room would be full of beautiful butterflies . . . flying free.
Chapter Forty-eight
“If Sister Deborah was here to hear that story you just told us, Mother Doreen,” Unique said in disbelief, “she’d write a book about it.”
“A New York Times bestseller indeed,” Bethany said in just as much awe as Unique and Margie were in after hearing the details Mother Doreen had shared with them on their drive back from West Virginia to Malvonia.
“What about Terrance?” Bethany asked. “I mean, you and Lauren are all squared away and cool, but how does he feel about all this?” Bethany shook her head in disbelief and said under her breath, “Ol’ Willie had a kid—wow.”
“I think Terrance will be okay,” Mother Doreen said hopeful.
“You sure about that?” Unique asked. “I mean, that was one angry brother right there; straight hood. And take it from me—I know hood when I see hood.”
A couple of the women laughed, and Mother Doreen replied, “Yeah, I think so. I mean, we really didn’t get to say too much more after Lauren and I talked, but he knows where to find me. He knows he can reach out to me,” Mother Doreen replied. “I still got a few things of Willie’s stored in that old shed behind my house. When I moved back to Kentucky, I was going to throw the stuff out or give it to charity. But now I know just what to do with it.” Mother Doreen smiled and looked upward. “Thank you, God!”
“Amen,” Bethany cosigned. “Amen.”
“Well, that’s good to hear,” Margie stated. “I’m glad you know what to do with Willie’s things. But can I ask you one question?”
“Sure; go right ahead,” Mother Doreen replied.
“What in the world are you going to do about Pastor Frey?”
“Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Jesus.”
As Mother Doreen, Bethany, Margie, and Unique entered the church, they could hear someone praying. They’d come back to the church because that’s where the women’s cars were parked. There were still a few cars in the parking lot. Considering it was just a shadow away from midnight, they all went inside together.
“Yes, God. Thank you, God.”
That prayer came from another person. It was a man and a woman and the voices were coming from the sanctuary.
They heard a third voice. “We thank you in advance, God.” It also belonged to a woman.
All four women looked at one another.
“Um, uh, it can’t be,” Unique said, and was the first one to go barging through the sanctuary doors. “Well, I’ll be . . .” Her mouth dropped. She was in awe as she saw that Pastor Frey and Sister Deborah were still pretty much in the same position they had been in hours ago when the foursome had headed to West Virginia. And Paige had obviously joined them after grabbing a bite, because she was in there praying up a storm too. Sister Deborah was sitting on the church pew with folded hands praying. Pastor Frey was on his knees at the altar.
“But it’s been how many hours? And they are still . . .” Unique shook her head.
All Mother Doreen could do was stand there and weep at the sight of Pastor Frey praying like he was praying down the walls of Jericho. Deborah was the first to look up and see that her friends had returned. She stood up from the pew and walked toward her sisters in Christ. Sensing the movement, Paige followed behind Deborah. Once Paige and Deborah reached the women, no words were spoken. All the women just simply embraced.
“God is good, Sister Deborah,” Mother Doreen whispered in Deborah’s ear. “God is good.”
Deborah pulled herself from the embrace. “And so is that man right there.” She looked over her shoulder at Pastor Frey.
Mother Doreen exhaled. “Oh, Sister Deborah, you don’t have to tell me that.” She excused herself from the women and made her way down the altar to Pastor Frey. She managed to kneel down beside him and place her hand on his back. Like he knew her touch, he just began to weep. Before anyone knew it, the
two were embraced weeping like two children who had dropped their ice-cream cones on a hot summer day; and the cones had been their only hope of keeping cool.
“I prayed He’d send you back to me,” Pastor Frey said through tears. “I told Him I wasn’t gonna let go of this prayer until He answered it. I told Him I wasn’t gonna let go of this prayer until He brought you back to me.” Pastor Frey pulled away from Mother Doreen and looked her in the eyes. “So did He? Did God bring you back to me, Doreen? Because if so, I still want to be your husband. Do you still want to be my wife?”
“I do,” Mother Doreen replied.
“Then I pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Pastor Wallace Frey,” Margie said as Paige, Bethany, Unique, and Deborah cheered.
It wasn’t quite the wedding Mother Doreen had planned, but it was a wedding nonetheless. Margie had performed the ceremony with the other four women and God as witnesses.
“Pastor Frey,” Margie continued, “you may kiss your bride.”
Pastor Frey put both hands behind Mother Doreen’s head and pulled her into a big juicy kiss. The onlookers cheered even more.
“I love you, Mrs. Frey,” Pastor Frey said, looking into Mother Doreen’s eyes.
“And I love you too, Mr. Frey,” Mother Doreen said back. “You know, for years, I’ve been waiting for God to tell me, ‘It is finished,’ and mean it. Well, guess what? He did say it some time ago, and He meant it too. I’m the one who had to let everything go, though. But guess what? I finally did.” Mother Doreen smiled a huge smile. “I let it go, all of it, everything. My past; it is so finished.” She looked at Pastor Frey like she thought she’d never look at another man—with nothing but deep love and passion. “But me and you . . .” she pointed from her chest to her new husband’s. “Honey, me and you . . .” Mother Doreen planted a kiss on Pastor Frey that would have made a sinner blush. “. . . we are just getting started.”