by Judy Duarte
Her mind was awhirl. A baby. She would have a child of her own, a family…
But what about the upcoming audition? No way could she consider taking the role, even if they offered it to her.
So what would she do? How would she support herself in New York?
“She’s been dieting,” Ray told the doctor. “That can’t be good for her.”
Oh, goodness. Ray. Did he realize the baby was his? And if so, how had he taken the news?
She shot a glance his way, saw the seriousness of his expression. But then, why wouldn’t he be uneasy? He’d been so stressed about the fact that they’d had unprotected sex, so worried about an unexpected pregnancy.
And now this…
On the bright side, he was still holding her hand. And he hadn’t scrunched her fingers in a death grip.
“I don’t think the dieting is a problem,” Dr. Mills said. “At least, not as long as she starts eating nutritiously from now on. You can ask one of the resident obstetricians about that, but I suspect it’s fairly early in the pregnancy. When was your last menstrual cycle?”
“I…” Catherine tried to think. “I guess it’s been a while. I’ve been so busy that I haven’t even thought about it.”
“She’s only about four weeks along,” Ray said.
He was right, of course. Catherine, whose mind was still reeling in awe at the news—she was going to have a baby?—nodded her agreement. They both knew the exact night it had happened.
“We have several good obstetricians at the Brighton Valley Medical Center,” Dr. Mills said. “So if you’d like me to refer you to someone, I can.”
But Catherine wouldn’t be staying in Brighton Valley.
Of course, if she couldn’t dance or act on stage, she had no idea how she’d support herself and a child in New York. Things were horribly expensive there.
Jennifer Walker had faced the same dilemma when she’d gotten pregnant with twins, but Catherine had stepped in to help her out.
When Catherine didn’t answer the doctor right away, Ray said, “We’d like you to give us those names.”
Surely Ray didn’t expect her to stay in Brighton Valley, did he? Supporting herself and a baby here wouldn’t be easy, either. What would she do?
Or was he still playing the role of her future husband—just in case word of this got out into the community in spite of all the privacy laws.
Uh-oh. Speaking of their role-playing, what were they going to tell everyone now? “Breaking up” was one thing. But when there was a baby involved? People might not be so understanding of those involved.
Boy, had things gotten complicated.
She and Ray certainly had a lot to talk about, a lot to decide. But he’d paid her to pretend to be his fiancée while she was still in town, so she’d continue to do that, at least until they came up with a breakup plan.
“We won’t need those names,” she told the doctor.
Ray stiffened, as if she’d somehow challenged him, threatened him. But she hadn’t meant to.
“I already know which doctor I’d like to see,” she explained. “It’ll be Dr. Ramirez, Eva’s obstetrician.”
Ray relaxed his stance, as well as his grip.
Still, the enormity of the problem facing them was staggering.
“I have to admit,” Catherine finally said, “this is quite a surprise for both of us. We’re going to have a lot to talk about when we get home.”
But where was home? New York? Brighton Valley? Someplace altogether different?
Life as she knew it was over. Maybe not in a bad way, since she was actually thrilled to learn about the baby. But she had no idea how the father-to-be felt about the news.
She shot a glance at Ray, the man who ought to have a say in all of this, the man who was probably going through his own emotional turmoil right now, but she didn’t have a clue.
* * *
On the other hand, Ray was still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that Catherine was pregnant.
He supposed he’d better thank the good Lord that she was healthy and whole, since that had been his prayer earlier. But she was also expecting his baby.
His baby.
Talk about major dilemmas…
“I’m sure you’re right,” the doctor said, getting to his feet. “You do have a lot to talk about. I’ll finish up the paperwork. Once you check out, you’re free to leave.”
“Thank you,” Catherine said.
Neither of them spoke until after they’d left the hospital and climbed into his car.
“I’m sorry about this,” she said.
About what? Getting pregnant?
“Do you plan to keep the baby?” he asked.
“Absolutely. I didn’t think I would ever conceive, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t want a child—or a family.”
That was good, wasn’t it? He wouldn’t have wanted her to consider adoption or anything else. Because even if he didn’t have a wife or have any plans to get married again, that didn’t mean he never wanted to have any kids.
So that was one hurdle solved.
“I’d like to be a part of the baby’s life,” he added.
“That might be a little difficult,” she said.
Not if she stayed in Brighton Valley.
“Are you still going to leave tomorrow?” he asked.
“I don’t know. I’d planned to audition for a part, but if I’m pregnant, there’s no way I’ll get it.”
He wished he could apologize, but he wanted her to stay here. How the heck could he be a part of their child’s life if he had to fly back and forth to New York every other month?
“There’s a lot to think about,” she added.
She had that right. He sucked in a breath, then blew it out again. “Here’s something else you ought to consider.”
“What’s that?”
“We can always get married.”
She turned to him, lips parted, as if the suggestion had taken her completely by surprise. Hell, by the look on her face, she’d either been swept off her feet or shocked by the preposterous notion.
But then again, he hadn’t expected to propose to her this evening, either. Not when he feared the answer would be no.
“What’s the matter?” he asked. “Was the idea too wild for you to even ponder?”
“No, it just took me aback, that’s all.”
Yeah, well he was a little off-kilter, too. But he didn’t like the idea of losing her, especially when he’d be losing his child, too. How was he going to parent a kid who lived in New York?
“You’re offering to marry me so the baby has your name?”
For starters, he supposed. He’d kind of like her to have his name, too.
“Marriages should be built on love,” she said, “especially if they’re meant to last.”
“That’s true.” Sarcasm laced his tone as he thought about the woman who’d promised to love him until death, the woman who’d felt no such thing.
Trouble was, he knew darn well that Catherine wasn’t anything like Heather. And he suspected that if she made a commitment to love someone, she would keep it.
But she hadn’t said anything about love. And while he’d begun to realize that’s what he was feeling for her, he didn’t want to lay his heart on the line, then have her throw it right back at him.
Then again, he now had a son or daughter to consider. And he had a chance to have a family again.
“Marriage is still an option,” he said. “I care for you. And I think you have feelings for me, too. To top that off, if we did get married, neither you nor the baby would lack anything. In fact, it might even solve some of our problems.”
At least when it came to the phony engagement they’d created, it would help.
“You’d go so far as to marry me?” she asked, the sadness in her voice leaving him a bit unbalanced.
Did she think marrying him was a step down from what she deserved? Heather certainly had.
“Do you wan
t to be a single mother?” he asked.
“At this point, I really don’t mind. I’m actually glad to know that I was able to conceive. Being unwed and pregnant doesn’t have the stigma it once did.”
Maybe not. But what were all the townspeople going to think when they learned that Ray had fathered a baby and didn’t marry the child’s mother, especially when the woman was one who’d charmed her way into their hearts within a matter of weeks?
And it wasn’t just the townspeople he worried about. His parents and grandparents would rise from their graves and haunt him like crazy if he didn’t do the right thing by the woman he…loved. What was he going to do without her? Just thinking about losing her hurt like hell.
But what options did he have? He couldn’t hire Catherine to be a pretend wife.
“It’s really not a big deal,” she added.
Oh, no? It seemed like a very big deal to him. After all, the woman he loved was taking his child and leaving him. And that hurt far more than anything Heather had ever said or done to him.
“I guess we can talk about it more when we get home,” he said.
Silence stretched between them for a mile or two, and as he neared Main Street, she said, “You know what? I’m really exhausted. I’d like to go back to the ranch tonight. Would you mind dropping me off at the theater? I left Dan’s truck there.”
“I thought we had a lot to talk about.”
“It might be better to sleep on it and talk tomorrow.”
He glanced across the console at her, only to see her looking out the passenger window, her thoughts as far from him as the mountain in the distance.
What had happened? What was bothering her?
Ray was tempted to ask, but hell. He’d already had one city woman turn on him. What made him think Catherine wasn’t doing the same damn thing?
He’d been down that painful road before. And he knew how badly things could end when two mismatched people said “I do.”
But were they really mismatched and destined for heartbreak?
He wished he could say for sure. And while he was tempted to ask her to reconsider, he wouldn’t.
The only thing worse than losing the love of his life would be chasing after her and begging her to stay when she was dead set on leaving.
So after dropping Catherine off at Dan and Eva’s, he walked her to the door. Instead of the goodbye kiss he’d been tempted to give her, if she’d seemed to be willing, he gave her something to think about instead.
“No matter what happens, I want you to know that I’m happy about the baby. The pregnancy might have blindsided me, but I’m getting used to the idea of being a father. And no matter what you decide, I want to be a part of the baby’s life.”
“That might not be easy.”
“Yeah, well, sometimes the best things in life are worth fighting for.”
She seemed to think about that for a moment, then said, “Thanks, Ray. That helps.”
He hoped so, because it certainly hadn’t seemed to help him.
“Good night,” he said. “I’ll talk to you in the morning.”
Then he climbed into Jerald Morrison’s truck, which he was going to have to return tomorrow, and drove back to his ranch.
Still, as he entered the empty, sprawling house, he was glad to be home, the memory-filled place where he’d grown up.
It was odd, he thought. When he and Heather had split, and she’d left him alone in this house, he hadn’t been swamped in memories of childhood, of fishing with his grandpa or riding fence with his dad.
Instead he’d been angry and driven to shake every last thing that reminded him of her, every dream he’d ever had, every memory he’d ever cherished.
If it came right down to it, he might have run for city councilman as a way to get off the ranch, to shake the reminder of a marriage gone bad.
But Catherine had changed all that. And now, walking through the living room, where his mother used to sit with her knitting needles, crocheting baby blankets for the various expectant mothers she knew from church, Ray remembered it all.
And he missed it more than he’d ever thought possible.
Why was that?
What had Catherine done to him?
Somehow, in the midst of all the playacting, the pretending, he’d found the love of his life. Thanks to Catherine, he’d shaken all the anger, all the bad memories. And he was ready to reclaim all that had once been good and right.
As he climbed the stairs and headed for his bedroom, he wondered if he’d ever have a loving marriage with a woman who would stick by him through thick and thin.
As much as the dilemma perplexed him, he couldn’t help wanting to make things right with Catherine—and by that, he meant making them real.
* * *
After Ray had dropped Catherine off at the ranch, Eva and Dan met her at the front door, worry sketched across their faces.
“Are you okay?” Eva asked. “What did the doctor have to say?”
Catherine might have kept the news to herself, but she’d been alone and on her own for so very long that she needed to confide in someone. And Dan and Eva were more like family to her than her many siblings.
“I’m not sure how Ray will feel about me telling you this,” Catherine began, “especially so soon, but…” She took a deep, fortifying breath, then slowly blew it out. “I’m pregnant.”
Dan blinked and cocked his head, as if he’d been as surprised by the news as she’d been.
But Eva, who’d known that Catherine hadn’t expected to have a baby of her own, even though she’d secretly longed for one, wrapped her in a warm embrace. “I’m so happy for you.”
“Thanks.”
As Eva slowly lowered her arms, she gazed into Catherine’s eyes. “You are happy about the baby, aren’t you?”
“Yes, of course I am. But it certainly complicates things.”
“Does it change your plans to leave?” Dan asked.
“It changes everything—and in ways I can’t quite comprehend right now.” Catherine blew out another heavy sigh.
“How does Ray feel about it?” Eva asked.
“He’s taking it pretty well—at least for a man who went so far as to hire a fiancée so the single women in town would realize he wasn’t interested in love or romance.”
“Sounds like he wasn’t too down on the romance part,” Dan said with a grin.
Eva gave her husband a little elbow jab, as if his humor might not be appreciated. But it’s not as though there’d been any seduction going on. They’d both been willing.
“It just…well, it just happened,” Catherine said. “Neither of us planned on…”
What? Falling in love?
She certainly hadn’t expected a feeling like that to develop. And what made it worse was that Ray had never given her reason to believe that he was feeling the same way about her.
Sure, he’d suggested marriage. But she’d be darned if she’d marry someone just because it was the honorable thing to do.
If he’d told her that he loved her, if he’d been sincere, she might have considered accepting his proposal. But she couldn’t get involved with another man who didn’t love her. And she couldn’t “pretend” that a wedding ring was the solution to their problem.
Speaking of rings, she glanced down at her left hand, at the heirloom Ray had loaned her to wear. She’d have to give it back to him before she left town. That is, if she left.
What was she going to do?
“Maybe I should put on a pot of chamomile tea,” Eva said. “It sounds as if you might need it after all you’ve been through this evening.”
As much as Catherine would like to have a confidant tonight, a woman who would understand why she couldn’t accept Ray’s proposal—if you could call it that since it had merely been a suggestion—she wanted to retreat to her bedroom, where she might be able to come up with a game plan she could live with.
“Thanks, Eva. But I’m really tired. It’s been a taxing d
ay and evening. And what I really need is a good night’s sleep.”
But even after Catherine had shed her clothes, put on a nightgown and climbed into bed, sleep had been a long time coming.
And morning arrived too soon.
* * *
Ray waited until nearly seven o’clock before driving to the Walkers’ ranch. It was probably way too early for a Sunday morning visit, but he didn’t want to wait much longer. Catherine was still holding a ticket for a flight leaving this afternoon, and he didn’t want her to go before he had a chance to tell her what he had to say.
Last night, while he’d tossed and turned, thinking about what all he stood to lose, he realized that he hadn’t told Catherine how he’d come to feel about her. She might throw it right back at him, but it was a risk he had to take.
What if she left and he’d never told her how he felt? Would he regret it for the rest of his life? After all, what were the odds that he’d meet another woman who would touch his heart the way Catherine had?
Probably slim to none.
So he parked Jerald’s pickup near the Walkers’ barn, then made his way to the front door and knocked.
Kevin, who was still in his pajamas, answered. “My dad already went out to the barn. You can find him there.”
Ray figured as much. Ranchers didn’t lollygag over coffee, even on Sundays. “Actually, Kevin, I came to talk to Catherine. Is she here?”
“I think she’s still asleep. Want me to wake her up?”
“Sure. Go ahead.”
Ray took a seat on the sofa, but he didn’t have to wait long. Catherine came into the living room just moments later, wearing a light blue robe over a white cotton gown. Her hair was tousled from sleep, and her feet were bare.
Ray stood, then nodded toward the door. “I need to talk to you. Do you mind going out on the porch with me?”
She fiddled with the lapel of her robe for a moment, then said, “All right.”
As Catherine followed Ray outside, she couldn’t imagine what he had to say. Would he bring up marriage again? Or maybe ask her to stay in town and give up her career?
She might have to do that anyway, although now, with a baby on the way, performing on Broadway had lost some of its appeal. Besides, she’d like to be near family when the baby came. And Dan and Eva, who’d become so much more than friends to her, held that place in her heart.