Falling for the Billionaire (One Night Stand #5)

by J. S. Cooper

  “I just wanted to see if there was a reason why you wanted to see me tonight?”

  “What kind of reason?” I asked him, falling right back into his trap. I hated the fact that I was so weak.

  “I don’t know? Maybe you’re feeling horny?” His voice lowered and my body grew warm.

  “What?” I could feel myself boiling even though I did want him.

  “I’m not free tonight, but maybe tomorrow?”

  I listened to his voice on the other side of the phone and all of a sudden all I could feel was anger. Anger at him. Anger at myself. Tons and tons of anger. Why had I let this guy into my heart? He was absolutely horrible and he didn’t care about me at all. All he wanted was sex. I’d known that. From the beginning. He’d reminded me of that fact every time I saw him, yet I still couldn’t get it into my thick head.

  “Lacey?” he asked again, as confident as always.

  “Fuck off,” I said the words and immediately hung up the phone and turned it off. I could feel the anger simmering in my stomach. “I hate you, Henry James,” I whispered to myself as I headed to the bus stop. “I hate you for making me feel like this.” I was so annoyed at myself. He was using me and I’d let him. I was complicit in my own heartache. I’d been a fool, but no longer. I didn’t want anything to do with him any longer. I didn’t want him in my life. I didn’t need him and his are you horny for me questions. He could go and use some other girl. He could go and fuck himself. The tears streamed down my face as I realized that I was nothing but a fuck toy to him. And I had no one to blame but myself.

  Chapter Fifteen

  I jumped off a cliff. Or maybe he pushed me. The stillness in me like lead weight; empty and cold. Maybe my soul couldn’t take it anymore. Maybe I jumped to grab a star or to swing on the curve of the moon. Maybe he pushed because he knew my heart was too heavy and my eyes too dry. I don’t know. All I know is that when I fell, I thought it was the end. I thought I’d never survive. And then. Then I found my wings. I found my wings and I started flying. I flew higher than that cliff. Past the stars, above the moon. I flew so high and when I looked down, I saw him, standing there, looking up at me in wonder. I saw him gazing. I felt my heart beating. I felt my soul soaring. I felt. And in that moment, in that moment he whispered, “I’m sorry,” and as his words fluttered by my ears, sad and desolate, all I could think was I hope he finds his wings as well.

  I stopped writing then and reread my words. My heart was heavy and while I thought the words I’d written were beautiful, they were also depressing. These words weren’t right for Play the Player and were completely and absolutely about my relationship with Henry. I felt like I’d jumped off a cliff. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I felt like I was freefalling through the sky. And I couldn’t stop.

  “Hey.” Eliza knocked on my door and walked into my room. “You okay?”

  “As okay as I can be.” I gave her a weak smile.

  “Wanna talk about it?”

  “Nah.” I shook my head. “I feel like that’s all I do. How much can I talk about it?” I sighed. “It’s not like we had that much in the first place.”

  “Come to the living room. Have some cake and coffee.”

  “I shouldn’t.” I shook my head, feeling blah and not even wanting to move.

  “I insist.” She folded her arms.

  “Fine.” I stood up and followed her out of the room. “I guess I could go for some cake.”

  “Then we shall eat cake.” Eliza rubbed my shoulder and I could feel my heart welling up at how lucky I was to have a friend that cared that much. She was always there for me. Even though I knew it had to be super annoying that I was still hurt and upset in this situation. A situation I never should have gotten into in the first place.

  “Okay, we need to cheer you up? What are you going to do? What’s the best-case scenario?” Eliza sat on the couch next to me and leaned back against the cushions, her shoulder rubbing mine as she glanced at the side of my face. I turned to her with a small smile and sighed as she handed me a plate with a large slice of chocolate cake.

  “Honestly, I don’t know.” I shrugged. “I just feel so blah about it all.”

  “Oh, Lacey.” She rubbed my shoulder and I gave her a half-smile before rubbing my forehead lightly.

  “Oh, Lacey indeed. I’m a fool.” I stuffed a large piece of cake into my mouth. Who cared if I gained five pounds? It’s not like Henry wanted me either way.

  “You’re not a fool.”

  “I am, but I don’t even want to talk about it right now.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yeah.” I nodded. “I need to get my mind off of it. I need to move on with my life. I’m sure he’s not sitting thinking about me and worrying about how I’m doing.”

  “You never know.” Eliza started and I rolled my eyes.

  “I do know. Let’s be real. If he were thinking about me; if he cared about me, he’d be calling. He’d be texting. He’d be checking in to see if I was doing okay. I haven’t heard a word from him since I told him to fuck off. And that was over a week ago.”

  “You can’t take it personally, Lacey. I’m sure that he’s…”

  “Stop.” I put my hand up and shook my head. “I know you’re trying to make me feel better and I love you for it, but no, he’s not thinking about me. He doesn’t care about me. He wanted to fuck,” I said crudely. “And now he knows I’m not just down for a quick and easy lay whenever he wants, he’s moved on. He’s most probably fucking Claudia and whatever other women he has. He doesn’t need me.”

  “It’s his loss,” Eliza said, rubbing my shoulder and I gave her a sad smile as I felt my throat constricting at the thought of him sleeping with someone else.

  “Is it really, though?” I rubbed my forehead and sighed loudly. “Maybe it’s not really his loss? Maybe it’s mine. Maybe it’s no ones. Maybe I’m just a big idiot? Well that I already know. I am a big idiot. A big big idiot. Let’s be real. It’s not a loss for him because he doesn’t care about me either way. I’m a nothing. I’m an idiot and absolutely nothing.”

  “You’re not a big idiot. Stop it.” Eliza frowned at me. “And you’re not nothing. You need to snap pit of this, girl.” She shook my shoulders. “You’re scaring me and I’m not going to let you mourn over this guy. Not anymore. He’s a douchebag and doesn’t deserve your time and energy.” Her eyes peered into mine.

  “Yeah, I need to stop thinking about him.”

  “Yes, you can meet someone better than him. Someone that really cares about you. Someone that really likes you. Someone that wants a real relationship.” Eliza’s face was stern. “He was fine for a goodtime guy, but that’s it. You can’t handle the type of lifestyle he lives and that’s okay, but you cannot take his shit personally. He’s a manipulative asshole.”

  “Yeah he is an asshole.” I smiled, probably my weakest smile ever, but I hoped that she didn’t notice that. I just wanted to get over this feeling of sadness and rejection. He was an asshole, but that didn’t stop me from loving him. And wanting him. And praying that somehow he would wake up and want me too. I wanted him to call me and tell me that he realized that he was in love with me as well and he was sorry for ever hurting me. Every morning I woke up, and looked over at my phone to see if he’d called or texted. Hoping desperately to see some sign that he’d missed me as well. But there was nothing. Absolutely nothing and that made it even worse. The fact that he hadn’t even reached out. He didn’t even care enough to say hello.

  “What about that one guy you told me about? The one that was calling you?”

  “Huh? Who?” I blinked at Eliza as I tried to stop thinking about Henry.

  “The one you met at Henry’s office.”

  “Oh. Jake?” I said, and shrugged. “No idea.”

  “Why don’t you give him a call?”

  “For what?”

  “To go out.”

  “Eh.”

  “What about the guys on the dating app?”


  “I just don’t care.” My stomach felt like dead weight. “I looked on the app, but I don’t even feel like replying.”

  “You’ve got to get out there again, Lacey.”

  “I will. Eventually. I just need to get over this.”

  “The best way to get over this is to meet someone new. You need to stop thinking about him. He’s a douchebag. Maybe the biggest douchebag I’ve ever come into contact with.”

  “Yay me. I sure meet them, don’t I?”

  “Lacey, there are a lot of douchebags out there. You need to not take this personally. You’re really starting to scare me. You need to move on from here. You’re allowed one more day of grieving and that’s it. Then you have to move on.

  “It’s not that easy.”

  “It’s never easy, but you have to snap out of it. Henry’s not good for your mental health. Not good at all.”

  “I don’t know what to do, Eliza,” I said breathlessly. “I can’t stop thinking about him. I can’t stop thinking about the way we would laugh at things and stare into each other’s eyes. I can’t stop thinking about the way he would reach out and hold my hand. Or the way he would pat my nose and stare at me when he thought I wasn’t looking. I can’t stop thinking about the way my heart beat in a special way, only for him. We had something special. I felt it in my bones. I felt it in my soul. I felt it.” I sighed. “But I was wrong. I was so wrong.”

  “We’re all wrong at some point.” She gave me a knowing smile. “And that’s okay. We have to be wrong in life, so that when we finally get it right, we realize that we’ve found the real deal.”

  “But I feel like he was the real deal.” I stuffed another piece of cake into my mouth. “I really thought he was the one.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  “Hey, how’s it going?” I stared at the text from Jake for about the tenth time that morning. I didn’t know what to type in response. I wanted to tell him the truth. I wanted to tell him I was hurting because I hadn’t heard from Henry, but I knew that wouldn’t be fair. He didn’t deserve to be used as a therapist to hear me go on and on about my broken heart and how Henry had basically used me and left me feeling like shit. I also didn’t want to lie and say I was great. I wasn’t doing great. I’d been lying in my bed for the last few days, unable to think about anything, but Henry. I was an utter mess. I knew Eliza was worried about me and thought I was being melodramatic. It’s not like Henry and I had been in some crazy long relationship and he’d betrayed me. He’d never lied to me and told me he cared. It was my own fault that I’d fallen for him. It was my own fault that I’d gone and given my heart away carelessly to a man that would never appreciate me.

  I lay there in my bed staring at my phone screen, willing for Henry to text me and ask how I was doing. I didn’t care if all he said was “Hi.” I just wanted to know that I was on his mind. I wanted to know that he had thought about me; even if only once. Was that too much to ask? Was it too much to hope that he’d thought about me? Why wasn’t he thinking about me? Why didn’t he care? Oh, how badly I wanted him to care. I sighed and I could feel my stomach constricting again as I lay there, just staring at the phone screen. He wasn’t going to call me. He wasn’t thinking about me. Tears fell from my eyes as I thought about the reality of the situation. I wasn’t enough for him. He didn’t care about me. He didn’t love me and he never would.

  I brought up Jake’s text again and thought for a moment. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to make a new friend. Maybe he could help me get over Henry. Not in the romantic sense, but maybe just keeping myself occupied would be good. I started typing on my phone and decided to respond before I talked myself out of it.

  “Hey, I’m doing okay. How are you?” I hit send quickly.

  “Good to hear from you. I’m busy and stressed with work, but otherwise doing well.” He responded back right away and that made me smile. There were no games with Jake and I appreciated that.

  “Aww, sorry to hear that work is stressful.” I wanted to ask him what exactly was going on, but I was scared that he would bring Henry up.

  “No need to be sorry.” He responded right away. “Are you free this evening?” He sent another text immediately and my heart stopped for a second. I hadn’t expected him to ask me right away. I stared at the phone, not knowing how to respond. “Hey, sorry, forget I typed that.” Another text came through.

  “Hey, no worries. And yes, I’m free this evening.” I held my breath as I responded. Was I making a mistake?

  “Would you like to go on a date?”

  “A date?”

  “We could also just hang out as friends.”

  “But you’re asking me specifically to go on a date?”

  “Yes. I hope I’m not being too forward. ”

  “Not too forward. I’m just surprised.”

  “I figured you and Henry were done, after everything that has happened.”

  “Yeah.” Wait, what had happened? What did he know?

  “If you’re not interested, I’m more than happy to be friends.”

  “I think you’re a really nice guy, but this is a weird time for me. I’d like to hang out tonight. But maybe no labels?”

  “Works for me .”

  “Sweet.”

  “I’ll text you an address to meet me, okay?”

  “Sure. What are we doing?”

  “It’ll be a surprise.”

  “A surprise?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Okay.” I laughed as I stared at his message. I wondered what the surprise was going to be. I sat up in my bed and looked around my room, observing the mess of clothes and food boxes and sighed. I couldn’t stay in this state for much longer. I was only going to make myself feel worse. No one was worth this heartache and pain. I got out of bed slowly and stretched my still tired and slightly achy bones. I yawned as I stretched and I sighed. I really shouldn’t be yawning, not after all the naps I’d already had today and in the past few days.

  I stood there for a few seconds trying to think of something to wear when it finally hit me that I wasn’t going to be hearing from Henry. I wasn’t going to be going out with him. I wasn’t going to be seeing him. I wasn’t going to be spending any time with him. I had to move on. Really and truly move on or I was always going to be stuck in this personal hell of my own making. I looked back at my bed longingly. I just wanted to crawl back under the sheets and close my eyes. I wanted to feel sorry for myself. I wanted to cry. I wanted to punch the walls. I wanted to do all of the things that I knew that I shouldn’t do. All of the things that I knew wouldn’t bring me out of this misery. I hurried out of my room and to the bathroom. I needed to wet my face. Needed to get water on my skin. Needed to revive myself with some life. I needed to get my spirit back.

  “You’re up.” Eliza looked up at me as I made my way into the living room, toward the kitchen.

  “Yeah. I’m going to meet up with Jake.”

  “Jake?” She looked at me thoughtfully. “Okay.”

  “What?” I stopped in front of her and frowned. “You don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “No, I think you should get out.” She paused. “He seems like a nice guy. I just don’t want him to get hurt.”

  “Get hurt?” I said, my voice rising in annoyance.

  “I know you’re hurting and I think it’s good for you to go on dates, but I don’t know if this Jake is already too invested in you.” Eliza looked at me hesitantly. “You know I want what’s best for you.”

  “I know.” I sighed. “Do you think it’s a mistake then?”

  Eliza stared at me for a few seconds and shook her head. “No, I don’t think it’s a mistake. I think you need to go out. Have some fun. Do your thing.”

  “Am I ever going to be okay?” I whispered at her, tears suddenly springing to my eyes. “I just hurt so badly.”

  “It’s okay, Lacey. I think you need to remember that you fell for him, but you don’t really know him. Your heart cares because you wanted
him to be something he isn’t.”

  “I just wanted him to care about me, to want to actually want me, you know?”

  “I know.” She got up and came over to hug me. “I know, baby girl. And it’s his loss, not yours. I promise you that the right man is out there for you. The man that will love you with everything he’s got. Just because he’s not the one doesn’t mean, he doesn’t exist.”

  “I wanted it to be him.” Tears fell from my eyes. “I gave all of myself to him. I know it wasn’t a long time, but I really gave him all of me. I don’t know how to explain it, but I took him into my heart with everything I had. I didn’t plan it. I knew who he was. I knew. I’m so mad at myself. I knew and I still fell.”

  “We can’t help who our heart loves.” Eliza stroked my hair and then looked me in the face. “I love you, Lacey. You are my best friend. You deserve the best because you are the best. You’re amazing and any sane man can see that. I promise you that your true love is out there. I promise you that you will look back and this will all seem like a distant dream.”

  “I just feel so unlovable.” I sighed. “I don’t understand why I keep getting in these situations with men who just can’t and don’t love me.”

  “We’ve all been there, honey.” She gave me a wry smile. “You know that.”

  “I know.” I took a deep breath and then stepped back from her, grabbed a couch cushion and screamed into it. “I hate hate hate feeling this way.” I punched the pillow and then threw it back onto the couch. “I’m done. I’m done feeling this way. Screw you, Henry James. Go and do whoever you want to do,” I shouted into the room.

  Eliza grinned at me. “Screw him. He’ll regret it. Trust me.”

  “I hope so,” I whispered. “I sure hope so.”

  ***

  “Where are we going?” I asked Jake as he drove me down an old country road that I didn’t recognize.

  “I wanted it to be a surprise, but I suppose I can give you a hint.” He looked at me with a boyish grin. “If you want one.”

  “Of course I want one.” I laughed as I leaned back in the seat. “Also, I love this song.” I sang along to the Passenger song playing on the radio.