Remembered

by E. D. Brady

  “I’m sorry,” she stated.

  He sat up and ran his thumb down her cheek. “Look at you,” he said with a sad smile. “I’m behaving like a complete ass, and you’re apologizing. You’re too good, much too good for me.”

  “It’s because of your vows, isn’t it,” she concluded. “You’re too honorable to break those stupid vows.”

  “You still think me honorable?” he asked skeptically.

  “Yes, I do,” she assured him.

  He let out a sad chuckle. “But you’re wrong,” he said. “I don’t want to do it because I love you too much to make you my mistress. I thought I made that clear before.”

  “And I thought I made it clear that you had no right to make that decision for me,” she bit back.

  “Annie…” he trailed off, sighing.

  “What?” she questioned.

  “We’re not doing it, and that’s final,” he said firmly, squaring his shoulders.

  “I thought it was what you wanted,” she said quietly, confused.

  “You have no idea how badly,” he responded. “So much so that I came very close to losing control just now, but by tomorrow morning, I would have hated myself for it.”

  “Okay,” she said nodding. “I understand.” She stood up to leave, feeling dejected.

  “But…” he jumped up after her. “I meant what I said before that. I don’t know how to leave you alone, and I don’t want to anymore.” She looked at him, narrowing her eyes questioningly. “I want you to stay here with me anyway. I mean…I want you just to lie here with me…I want to hold you while you sleep.”

  She felt her heart soar. “Really?” she asked.

  “Please,” he begged.

  “What if you lose control again?” she questioned.

  “I won’t. I plan to wrap you up nice and tight in that blanket and hold you while you’re all cocooned,” he replied, arching his eyebrows in anticipation of her answer.

  She let out a giggle. “Okay,” she agreed.

  As promised, he wrapped the blanket around her tightly and lay down next to her, pulling her into his arms. “I love you so much,” he whispered into her ear. “I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the day you dropped that book and package in front of me.”

  “I love you too,” she mumbled. “Please don’t stay away from me again.”

  “I can’t,” he replied sadly. “That was the hardest five weeks of my life. I was in agony the whole time. I know you deserve so much more than this, but I can’t bear the pain any longer. I’m ashamed of my weakness.”

  “It was really hard on me also,” she said groggily.

  “I’m so sorry,” he sighed. “I’m so sorry for everything.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek. “You’re falling asleep already,” he said quietly.

  “Um, um,” she mumbled, trying to keep her eyes opened. “I’m fine.”

  “No, you’re tired. You need to sleep.”

  “I don’t want to leave you yet,” she protested.

  “I’ll be here when you awake. Go to sleep,” he cooed into her ear, “Sleep, beautiful girl.”

  She woke to the sound of laughter coming from down the hall. She rolled onto the floor and rushed into the kitchen.

  Cora and Max were seated at the table, watching with amusement as Kellus tried to fry eggs. It had gone terribly wrong. Eggs stuck to the bottom of the frying pan.

  “What have you done?” Annie exclaimed in feigned horror. “You’ve murdered an innocent pan?”

  “Don’t worry, it’s not dead, only deeply wounded,” Kellus answered, winking playfully at her.

  Cora noticed the exchange and narrowed her eyes.

  “What am I going to do with you?” Annie questioned.

  “You could hold me prisoner until you feel confident that I’ve repaid my debt to society,” he answered.

  “That could take a very long time,” Annie replied.

  “The longer the better,” he answered.

  Max held his tea cup a few inches from his mouth and looked back and forth between them, suspiciously.

  Cora looked on as though she would choke from curiosity.

  “But seriously, Kellus, what were you trying to do?” Annie asked.

  “I was attempting to surprise you with breakfast in bed,” he said, shrugging his shoulders.

  “That’s really sweet, but do you not cook?” she asked.

  “No, never,” he answered.

  “Well then, have a seat, Mr. Kir, and let an expert handle breakfast,” she suggested.

  “What’s going on?” Cora demanded at the first opportunity to talk to Annie alone. “Did you…I mean, I noticed that you weren’t in our room this morning…did you and he—?”

  “I slept with him,” Annie butted in.

  “You did!” Cora gasped.

  “Not in that way. I mean, I literally just slept with him,” Annie explained.

  “I hope you know what you’re doing,” Cora said. “You were a wreck when he left last time.”

  Annie’s joyful mood clouded over. “No, I don’t really, but I can’t seem to stop myself.”

  And for the next two days, neither could he.

  They spent the entire time together. At night they lay together, proclaiming their love for one another. Annie was too intoxicated, too high on the feeling to consider what would happen when his assignment was finished.

  On Monday, they walked hand and hand along the beach.

  Kellus put his leg out in front of her, causing her to trip, but he caught her around the waist and lowered her onto the sand with a playful grin. He leaned over, letting his hair tickle her face. “May I ask you a question, beautiful girl?”

  “Anything,” she sighed.

  “I’m on leave from the Citadom for two weeks starting next Friday…”

  “And?” she enquired.

  “Well…do you think it would be possible to spend those two weeks with you?” he asked.

  “Here! The whole two weeks?” she blurted out.

  “Maybe two weeks is too much for you,” he said, looking crestfallen.

  “Are you insane?” she asked. “How could you think that two weeks is too much? Didn’t I tell you that I want you here forever? Two weeks is not enough, but given our situation, I’ll take it with immense gratitude.”

  He face glowed. “Thank you,” he said, leaning down to kiss her.

  Finally, it was time for him to return to the Citadom. He pulled his bag over his shoulder after kissing Cora on the forehead, and throwing one arm around Max’s shoulder in a loose hug.

  “I’ll walk you outside,” Annie said, taking his hand and leading him to the door.

  “I’ll be thinking of you every moment that we’re apart,” he said, placing his hand on her cheek.

  She nodded. “I’ll miss you.”

  Kellus lowered his head so that their eyes were level. “I love you more than you know, beautiful girl.” He kissed her on the lips and walked off down the hill.

  Chapter 12

  It was the longest four days of Annie’s life.

  Every day, she struggled for something to do to fill the lonely hours without Kellus. She was becoming more aware of the dangerous situation unfolding before her. If she could not content herself without him for a few days, how would she survive when his leave was over?

  As promised, he arrived first thing on Saturday morning.

  She ran down the hill to meet him, not caring how overly enthusiastic she appeared. She jumped up and wrapped her arms and legs around him, burying her face in his neck.

  “I was worried that you might have had a change of heart in my absence,” he chuckled. “I see I worried in vain.”

  “Never,” she vowed.

  “Actually, part of me hoped that you would have a change of heart,” he said quietly.

  “Kellus, don’t start—”

  “I know,” he said, kissing her on the lips to quiet her. “I’ll be good, and I am forever grateful for the warm welco
me.”

  He carried her up the hill, through the front door, and directly into the spare room, where Annie had kept the makeshift bed in place. He managed to swing his bag off his shoulder without putting her down. He bent over and kissed her for a long moment.

  He knelt down on the bed and laid her down gently. “Have you had a change of heart?” she asked, raising her arms over her head to stretch.

  “Don’t do that,” he scolded.

  “Don’t do what?” she asked innocently.

  “Don’t spread yourself out like that,” he replied.

  “Why not?”

  “Because it makes me want to do this.” He rested his full weight on her and secured her arms above her head with both his hands, leaning his face over hers.

  Annie felt her body heat up instantly.

  “It makes me want to do things to you that I know I shouldn’t,” he said, bending down to kiss her quickly on the lips. He rolled off her and stretched out on the other side of the bed.

  “So you haven’t had a change of heart, I see,” she lamented.

  “What would make you think I would?” he questioned.

  “I don’t know, maybe the way you laid me down here,” she said.

  “I wanted to hold you for a while. I missed it so much all week,” he answered.

  Annie swallowed her frustration and smile warmly. “I missed it too,” she said, snuggling up against him.

  They spent the following days at each other’s side: walking the beach, exploring the caves of the cliffs, hiking through the forest, swimming in the lake, or just sitting in the back garden for hours with Max and Cora.

  At night, they played cards, but mostly they talked for hours, holding each other in the dark.

  The time flew.

  Towards the end of their last week together, Annie decided that she needed to tend to her vegetables.

  They knelt on the grass together, pulling weeds from the garden. They worked alongside each other all morning, chatting and laughing over every little thing. They discovered, with surprise, that they were born only three days apart.

  “You must obey your elders,” Annie teased. “I’m far older and wiser than you; therefore, you must do my bidding.”

  “I’d gladly do your bidding,” he replied, winking, “even if you are an old lady.”

  “Anything?” she asked, biting on her lip.

  “Behave, Annie,” he scolded.

  By early afternoon, the sun beat down mercilessly.

  She sat on the ground and pulled her hair on top of her head with both hands, trying to cool her neck.

  The back of Kellus’s shirt was soaked with perspiration, and tiny beads of sweat began to form on his forehead. He knelt up and started to unbutton his shirt. She could not look away. He removed his shirt, rolled it into a ball, and wiped it across his forehead. She gasped out loud at the sight of his perfectly muscled body. Her hands trembled in her hair, her stomach tightened.

  Kellus turned towards her, his eyes meeting hers, eyes that burned with the same desire she felt.

  He was over her in one heartbeat.

  His mouth pressed into hers with such force that it knocked her backwards. Her hands grabbed at his strong upper arms, slid up the muscles of his shoulders and back down again.

  She was in heaven.

  She vaguely remembered who she was or where she was, and barely registered the sound of a horse and carriage approaching.

  Kellus wrapped his hand around her right ankle, letting it slide up her calf to her knee, taking the hem of her skirt with it. He rested his palm on her knee and drew circles on her inner thigh with his fingers.

  She moaned into his mouth and dug her fingers into the muscles of his beautiful back.

  He lifted his lips from hers, kissed her jaw and moaned her name with so much desire that it penetrated through her bones.

  Their breathing was loud, broken, and heavy.

  She caressed his face and kissed him feverishly.

  His hand continued to caress her thigh and behind her knee, while his right hand, behind her neck, pulled her closer.

  She heard the sound of someone clearing their throat.

  They both froze.

  She had forgotten that Cora was in the house, or rather, she had forgotten to care.

  She sat up immediately, feeling embarrassed by their compromising position—Kellus naked from the waist up and her skirt up over her knees.

  To make matters worse, it was not Cora standing by the back door.

  It was the apprentice Loc.

  “Please, forgive me,” Loc stammered, looking severely uncomfortable for walking in on such an intimate moment. “I didn’t mean to…” he trailed off, registering who lay on the grass with Annie, “…Kellus?”

  Kellus grabbed the hem of Annie’s skirt and pulled it back to her ankles. He wiped his mouth slowly with the back of his right hand, keeping his eyes fixed on Loc.

  “I…the Master sent me to…to…” Loc stuttered. He stared back and forth between Annie and Kellus as if he was unable to comprehend what he saw.

  Kellus jumped to his feet and walked towards the stunned apprentice. “Loc, allow me to explain—”

  Loc held up both hands, palms facing forward. “No, Kellus, this is none of my business.”

  “Loc, please listen,” Kellus begged, but Loc shook his head.

  Cora suddenly appeared next to the apprentice. “What’s going on?” she asked, aware of the tension.

  “The Master sent me to check on you, Cora, to see how you are recovering. I see you are well, so I’ll take my leave,” Loc replied, looking disgusted.

  “Loc, I love her,” Kellus said in a louder voice, hoping that the apprentice would understand.

  “Goodbye, Cora. Goodbye…” Loc quickly disappeared around the corner, leaving the three of them staring at one another.

  “Shit!” Kellus bellowed, putting his left hand on his forehead. “Damn it. That idiot will go straight to the Master.”

  Annie stood up and walked to him. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “Will you be in trouble?”

  “I don’t know…” he trailed off, staring down at her. He shook his head quickly. “I doubt it. We were only kissing.”

  Cora grimaced. “That’s an unusual way of weeding the garden, I must say.”

  Kellus glared at her until a smile slowly spread over his face. “Yes, well, I like to do things with as much fanfare as possible.”

  “I’d hate to watch you mow the lawn,” Cora replied.

  “Let’s go inside,” Annie butted in. “I think we’ve done enough weeding for today.”

  “I should think so,” Cora countered. “Any more weeding, and Kellus might get arrested for indecent exposure.”

  “Are you coming?” Annie asked her.

  “I’ll see you in a little while. I was on my way to find Max when I walked in on that little scene,” she answered.

  Kellus flopped into one of the large chairs when they reached the kitchen. Annie made him a cup of tea and handed it to him.

  She sat on the opposite chair. “I really am sorry,” she said again.

  “Don’t be silly, Annie,” he retorted. “I’ll not have you feeling bad about that. There were two of us in it, and only one that is under oath.”

  “Still…” she mumbled.

  “It’s fine, beautiful girl,” he said firmly. “I’ll go to the Master, myself, when I return. Besides, with the way he feels about you, he’ll probably award me with a medal.”

  Annie put her cup on the floor and walked over to where Kellus sat. She took the cup from his hand, set it down on the floor next to hers, and climbed up onto his lap. “You forgot to put your shirt back on,” she said quietly.

  “So I did,” he replied, looking into her eyes.

  She ran her hands down his chest and over his tight belly.

  He threw his head back and let out a loud breath. “You have no idea how good that feels,” he groaned.

  “You have no ide
a how good you feel,” she answered. She pushed her hands down further to his belt line, and let her fingers slide under the waist of his linen trousers.

  “Annie…” he warned.

  “But you like it,” she said in a girlish voice.

  “You can’t begin to imagine how much,” he moaned.

  “Tell me,” she asked innocently.

  He grabbed both her hands and crossed them over her chest. “No,” he said firmly.

  She winced.

  “Annie, I’m sorry.”

  She climbed off him and sat back in the opposite chair, folding her arms over her chest, feeling embarrassed and rejected.

  Kellus went to the spare room, returning moments later wearing a clean shirt. He knelt on the floor in front of her and put his hand on her face. “I’m sorry, beautiful girl, but I would hate myself if I turned you into a mistress of the Citadom.”

  “So you keep saying, but you never seem to care what I want,” she huffed.

  “Look at me,” he pleaded. When she met his eyes, he continued. “Don’t be so eager to throw your virginity at me. I know you don’t believe this now, but there may come a time when you regret it.”

  “No, I won’t,” she argued. “It’s yours for the taking. It’s you I love.”

  “I know that, but I don’t think you can really comprehend how much I love you,” he answered. “I can’t offer you a life you deserve, so I have no right to such a gift.”

  “So, I’ll just die with my virginity intact, then. Is that what you’re saying?”

  “No, that’s not what I’m saying—”

  “Well, what, then?” she demanded. “Is this the plan?”

  Kellus sighed deeply. “I think that, in time, you’ll grow tired of me.” He held up his hands when she tried to protest. “Let me finish,” he said. “In time, Annie, this won’t be enough for you anymore. Eventually, you’ll meet someone who can give you the life you deserve. At that time, you’ll turf me out of your life, which is good, because I’m not man enough to walk away from you again.”

  “But if your plan doesn’t work?” she asked. “If I’m actually smart enough to know what I want and I do love you forever—”