He sighed. “But that's surely not important now. Surely all that matters is that Claire is OK and I spent three years of my life with her. I loved her and I still love her.”
“I don't think she feels very loved. Well not by you anyway.”
His hands rubbed against a large bouquet of flowers and she hesitated evasively. “Can I please just drop these off?”
“It's a really bad idea.”
“Visiting time is now and …”
“You'll be as welcome as me at Jack's party conference. And that's even if I promise to leave my water pistols at home. You're not going to see her.”
“I don't need your permission Paige. You're not her bouncer.” Jack gave an intake of breath as Andre snatched the assortment of colour and stood up from his seated position.
“No. I'm not her bouncer. I can't stop you from knocking on her door. But I think that as it's your revelations that caused her to put herself in hospital, you turning up would be a really bad idea. She's not feeling too well and probably the stress of her ex-partner who fucked her over would not be good.”
“Not feeling too well? Is she awake.”
“She might be.”
“Paige, is she about and moving?”
She sighed. “You don't have a right to know.” She paused and tapped the table. “Sit down.” He didn't move. “Sit down and I'll tell you if you promise to get lost after I tell you.”
Andre sat in the chair and nodded.
“She was brought in having collapsed after she drunk a large amount of alcohol and consuming two drugs, one of which is unknown. The other they think is Coke. She was given fluids and had all sorts monitored and at around 9am, when her parents arrived, she came to. Chatty, scared to fuck and fielding lots of unwelcome questions from her mum. She swears blind it wasn't a suicide attempt but so far this morning you have been referred to as 'that filthy toerag' and 'that scumbag' and something quite unrepeatable but very apt. I'm guessing you aren't going to be winning her nomination for Man of the Year.”
“No.”
“So, I will, against my better judgement take your flowers in, if you promise not to set foot in City Hospital again until Claire is discharged.”
Andre shook his head, dogmatically. “She was my fiancée and the love of my life. I should at least be able to see her.”
Paige grunted. “Then I'm sorry. Well I'm not really. But you are not going to step one foot in that room.”
“You shouldn’t Andre,” Jack calmly muttered. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Even Jack says so. Listen to him,” Paige crowed. “Leave her alone.”
“You can't stop me.”
Paige laughed. “Wanna see if I can or not. You are not going near her.”
“Your not her bodyguard, Paige. It’s up to her if she wants to see me, not you.”
Paige breathed in sharply, glaring at the agent. “No. Not at all.”
“Love,” Jack called. “He is right, it is Claire’s choice. We’ve advised him not to but if …”
“Shut up!” Paige hissed. “I wasn't asking for your input. Go and phone Deirdre.”
Andre glared at Paige, picked up the flowers and walked towards the corridor. Paige ran after him, chasing her friend's ex-partner through the hospital.
“Stop! That! Man! He's! A! Bastard!” A security guard stepped into the corridor and apprehended the shouting woman, bringing Paige to a halt as Andre sprinted around the corner and onto the private bedrooms where Claire was a patient. He caught his breath and spoke to the nurse on the reception desk, who showed him to the side room.
Andre knocked loudly on the door and opened it slowly when he heard a voice from within.
Claire wasn't looking at him. His heart fell when he saw his ex lover lay in the bed, a drip feeding into her arm and a small array of electronics monitoring a multitude of vital metrics. Her hair was matted and her face was pale. She turned wearily to glance at the door.
“You!” She croaked. He placed the flowers on the bed.
“I came when I heard. How are you?”
“I don't want you here,” her mother demanded, the normally welcoming Teri scowled at the agent. “I think you should leave.”
“I've not come for any trouble. I really haven't. I was scared and upset. I've just come to see how Claire is.”
“You mean you've come to see if what I did last night after our row in the café has killed me.” She reached forwards onto the bed and grabbed his colourful flowers, throwing them at her ex-fiancé. “Now get out. Fuck off. I don't want to see you again.”
“But …”
Claire felt her stomach as she yelled. “GET OUT!” A tear rolled across her cheek as Paige grabbed the young man by the collar and pulled him from the room.
“You heard the woman, piss off!” Paige picked up the big bouquet of flowers from the floor as she deposited the bag of items Jack had retrieved from the house by Claire's bed. “I'll be back later,” she promised and followed Andre as he headed towards the hospital exit.
“Where are you going?” Andre asked, as Paige closed the door to Claire's bedroom.
“I'm making sure you leave the hospital.”
“She didn't need to do that,” he moaned.
She put the flowers on the nurses' desk. “Can you please give these to someone who doesn't have any.” The nurse looked up from her charts; the newspaper of his exposé lay open on the desk.
Andre understood why Claire was particularly upset with him; his private aberration was suddenly a very public humiliation. “Can you grab a coffee with me? Please Paige, I just need to talk to someone.”
Paige rolled her eyes but reluctantly agreed. A few minutes later they were sat in a secluded corner of the hospital café. Andre dropped to the chair and rubbed his eyes. “I always knew that she was angry with me. We split up really badly and my behaviour was disgraceful. But I still feel passionately for her. I still feel like we should have a friendship because the good times were so good.”
Paige sipped her drink. “Can you blame her?”
“I just want to make peace with her. I just want her to not forgive or forget what I did but know that for three years I was a great partner and I looked after her and we had a brilliant relationship and that for sixty minutes I was the worst partner there has ever been but I'm not a bad or evil person because of it.”
“Imagine there is a well. A wonderful, clear sparkling water sort of well. And it serves the villagers for all their watery needs for three years. And then some Herbert murders his wife and throws their body into the well to rot and decompose for all eternity. That's you. There’s no getting water from that well any more.”
“What do I do to make my peace with her?”
“How do you fish the body out of the well?”
He hummed. “Yeah, how do I do that? Using your analogy how do I make the well good again?”
Paige shrugged. “I dunno.”
“This is your analogy!” Andre moaned. “I could do the same thing that made the well so good, lower the bucket and get fresh water. What did I used to do to show Claire that I cared before? Ummm, presents.”
“No. Not presents.”
“Well what then?”
Paige swore. “You can’t.”
“I used to make lots of effort in the kitchen and the bedroom and helping to organise her life. Particularly in the kitchen. She used to adore my rhubarb scones.”
“Well you could always do a culinary feast for her. I’m not sure Romeo ever won over Juliet with rhubarb scones though.”
“Trips away. We used to love our little mini-breaks.”
“I remember,” Paige hummed. “But given she won’t be in the same room as you, what makes you think she will jet off to Barcelona or Rome or wherever.”
“OK, films. We used to curl up with home-made toffee cinnamon popcorn and watch her favourite films.”
“Do you still not see the problem here?”
“Yeah, she
won't come round to see me for the film or the rhubarb scones. How do I stop her from screaming abuse at me the moment she sees me to allow me to make a difference?”
“Yes, you can't. And there lies that particular problem, when do the villagers go back to the well? They don't, because there is a fuckin’ decomposing dead body in it and no-one wants to fish that shit out.”
“Your analogy needs some work. It lacks it's …”
“Andre, I'm being serious now. This is my serious face. Leave her alone. Let it be. Let her go. Move on. Don't think about her. Don't dream about her. Don't even remember that one day you used to be with her. Your relationship has been exterminated, terminated, expunged, forgotten, ended, destroyed, obliterated and quite frankly, fucked up. You ain't ever getting back together as lovers or as friends. She hates you. As in, proper hates you. As in if you were destitute homeless and begging for a few pence to keep our the deadly cold, she'd just kick you in the balls. It's not healthy but it's there. Deeper than my hatred for Peter Moran. And one day when you both old and grey you may meet at a retirement home for the vaguely rich and famous and you might have a laugh over a bottle of sherry and rich tea biscuit. You may even give each other tips about the local hospital or the scabby nurse who won’t change your nappy. But right now and at this point in time, those wounds are deep and no-one wants to be fishing out that body.”
She got up from the table. “Please Paige, just tell her that I'm sorry. I'll do anything to make it better, if not right.”
Paige shrugged. “Sorry Andre. Move on. She has started to. Who do you think that guy was at Hazel's wedding? You've lost her. Time to let her go.” And with a flourish of her flamboyant red hair, she was gone.
Chapter XL
Paige
Paige apologised for Andre's intrusion. “I did try to stop him.” Claire dismissed her friend’s apology with gentle wave of her hand, and sat up in bed. “Where are your parents?”
“Went out for a breath of fresh air. And to go find a pub for a pub lunch. Just as well, I was getting fed up with their accusations of my excesses. Excessive accusations of my excesses no less!”
Paige sat down on the chair and tapped her fingers. “Drunk to excess frequently. Jack said there was enough alcohol to sink a couple of rhinos and a University Rugby team. Two drugs and how many more? Random sexual activities with strangers on the dating app.”
Claire smiled. “Sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll. That's every person's dream isn't it?” Paige tilted her head. “Actually it was so lonely.”
“So that's what happened?”
“Oh don't you start too! It's easy for you, you have Jack an' all. And you only have the problems you create.”
“Hey!” Paige squealed. “Listen, I've been wearing clothes for almost fifteen hours here without even so much as a token bask of naturism. I see they have a spot for tobacco addicts to light up, do I get to streak around the germaniums outside? No I do not. Plus, I've got Jack gnawing at my arse for him not being selected to be a nasty blue candidate at the Rich-Banker-Cunt-twattiness-on-the-wold constituency for the Really Fucking Nasty Party. Plus Hazel's twat of a husband accused me of hacking into his phone and showing the world his bare arse. Although I've seen his music videos and he does that all by himself with his modelling. And he keeps sayin’ I’m part of that naked tribe, and my patience level is not geared up for that level of ignorance. And I've got my best friend putting herself in hospital. And I was stopped twice by the Police; one of which was after I was assaulted in Brixton.”
“Shit. Were you OK?”
Paige nodded. “I was fine. It was just one of those religious nutter anti-abortion demos and they hit me with their stupid signs.”
“But …”
Paige glanced at the door. “I'm pregnant,” she said in a voice that was barely a whisper. “I'm about two months pregnant.”
“Oh, wow! Fantastic.” Claire's face lit up, excitedly. “Oh. Not fantastic? Guess that’s why you were at the abortion clinic.”
“No. Jack has been cold and angry at me because …”
“... you publicly humiliated him.”
“Yeah. Something like that. And we've reached a truce but I'm not sure I can go through with a child.”
“What does Jack say?”
“Not told him.” Claire's eyes widened. “Don't look at me like that. Unless it's the after effects of the drugs. Then you can't help it.”
“Paige. You can't have a secretive abortion.”
“Why not? Why can't I?”
“Because the media will find out. Imagine PaigeWatch on Twitter getting hold of it. And even if you weren’t in the public eye, it's flat-out wrong.”
“More than what you did?”
“Yes! He has a right to know. You must tell him.”
“Why? Look Claire, the more I think about it, the more I think I'd be an awful mother. Dreadful. Absolutely awful. Everyone tells me that I'm awkward and stubborn. I have no patience for anything I can't control and I've a criminal record longer than half of the underworld. These are not good traits for motherhood.”
“That's because you commit your crimes on stage in full view of the world. Underworld criminals don't normally do that.”
Paige laughed. “True. But I'd be a bad mother. And a child is something too precious to entrust to a muppet like me to mould and forge into my own image.”
Claire smiled. “Well I think you'll be a great mum. Only you can't exactly prance around naked on stage eight months pregnant.”
“Why not?”
“Because, you can't. You’ll have to stop singing.”
“See that never occurred to me. I will be singing naked with or without baby. But I need to do something with my appointment at the abortion clinic. I turned up and the protesters were there so I waited for them to go but they didn't so I tried to get through them and they just attacked me. And I don't know what came over me and so I just had the red mist.”
“This sounds so familiar.”
“Yes. And I took the placard from them and used it as a weapon.” Claire chuckled. “And then the Police arrived and I was so drained I just went home. But …”
“But you are definitely going through to have an abortion?”
Paige nodded. “I think so. I don't have a choice. Otherwise it's a little Paige running around and I don't think the world could cope with a mini version of me.”
“I don't think you could cope with a mini version of you! Or Jack.”
“He can't cope with a big version of me!”
“Please though, make me a promise. That you'll speak to Jack before you go.”
“Why?”
“Because if you and it gets out, he'll never forgive you. Especially if he has to read it in the Mirror or the Herald.”
Paige scowled. “I don't want to.”
“For me, please Paige. Do it for your, quote, suicidal friend, unquote.”
“I fucking hate you sometimes. I really fucking hate you.”
“Promise?”
“No.”
“Paige ...” Claire called. “You are only being stubborn because you know I’m right.”
“No! I don’t need to. My body is my body.”
“And Jack’s child. He would be so upset if he found out. And you don’t really want to hurt him. I’ve seen you cause him no end of pain but you’d not want to hurt him, would you?”
“No,” Paige admitted. “I’ll think about it.”
“Promise me.” Claire demanded.
Paige swore under her breath. “OK, I promise.” Paige's snarling was interrupted by a knock on the door and Emit was summoned into the room. “Hello loverboy.”
He brought a small bouquet of flowers and a magazine; his voice wavered as he spoke, showing his nervousness. “I thought I’d pop in and see how you were doing.”
“I'll leave you in peace,” Paige muttered. “Want a coffee Claire, Emit?”
“Oh yes please,” they both cried in unison.
; “And I'm going to send Jack to your house; do you need anything else?”
“Only my phone,” Claire asked. “Jack brought the charger and not the phone.”
Paige looked at Emit. “You dialled me from it at Claire's house at some ridiculous hour. Did you bring it?” His hands were still shaking as Paige spoke to him.
“Er … I …”
Paige raised her eyebrows at him, causing the stuttering man to gulp. “Honestly man!”
“Ambulance,” he blurted out. “We had it in the ambulance. I …”
“OK,” Paige said, interrupting him. “I'll go ask when I get the drinks. And Emit? No plying her with drink or drugs. I know what you nerds are like.”
“I didn't,” he squealed, as Paige slipped from the room to undertake a tea run, giggling from her teasing.
Chapter XLI
Jack
The cool, crisp morning punctuated his lungs as the young keyboardist started his run. He blended into his few neighbours who all ran on the private lanes and country roads in luminous jackets. Jack's outfit was dark blue with bright yellow reflective stripes and his black shorts were trimmed with similarly reflective strips.
The gym that was built into their house and overlooked their tennis court was well-equipped; both him and Paige enjoyed exercising, but for Jack it was all about the fresh air. His past rugby exploits injected a passion for cold mornings and running through fields in short shorts, and their warm gym was not the same experience.
Paige was still asleep; he had slipped unnoticed from their shared bed as she slept late. It was a weekend day; Paige was never around too early in the morning and it gave him an opportunity to run and to think.
Claire's hospitalisation had affected Paige and the sight of her best friend in a hospital bed was a shock to them both. It had delayed a necessary conversation with her and one that he was cowardly delaying. Not least because he didn't know what he wanted to say.
The feelings he had for the young lady were as strong as they had always been; the respect he had for her life choices was solid and he supported her in all her activities. He was used to picking up the pieces from her determined and unwise actions.
Bare Necessities 2 (The Bare Necessities) Page 17