by K. A. Linde
“Oh, ok. Well go ahead. I’m all ears,” she said, pretending to stay upbeat despite the awful feeling forming in the pit of her stomach.
He sighed heavily, finally meeting her eyes. “I have a girlfriend.”
“You what?” she practically screamed at him, shock evident on her now very pale face.
His head fell to his chest and he wouldn’t meet her gaze. “She doesn’t live here. That’s how you haven’t come across her. We’ve been dating since high school.” He added the last part in an almost whisper, his voice breaking.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” she shrieked, tears unintentionally springing to her eyes. “How can you stand there and tell me that everything we have is a lie?”
She pushed past him and into the kitchen running her hands against the sides of the cool countertop in an attempt to calm herself. It didn’t work.
“It’s not a lie.”
She glared at him fiercely, her jaw locked tight. “How?” Lexi asked through her teeth, smacking the countertop with the palms of her hands.
“Lex, I can explain.”
“Oh, can you?” she asked turning to face him. “How can you possibly explain?”
He paused, achingly watching the tears stream down her cheeks. “Look, I’m sorry.”
“Oh, you’re sorry?” she retorted, throwing her hands in the air. “What good does that do? How does this solve anything? I don’t need your apology, and anyways you still haven’t given me an explanation.”
She stood straight-backed in front of him, nostrils flaring, staring him down.
“You said you could explain. Well, try. Please try to explain to me how any of this can possibly be okay. How could you lie and deceive me like this? All those things that you said,” she cried, running her fingers through her tangled curls. “God, did you mean anything you said?”
“Please don’t cry. We weren’t even really together.” She shot him a look of death. “I know we spent a lot of time together,” he said throwing his hands up in defense.
“Enough time that the fact that you had a girlfriend might have come up, don’t you think?”
“Yes. I wanted to tell you so many times.”
“Don’t give me that bullshit, Jack. If you wanted to tell me, then you would have. Obviously, you didn’t want me to know. You wanted to double dip.”
“Oh, stop with that,” he said taking her shoulders in his hands. “I stopped what we were doing before anything serious happened.”
“Before anything serious happened. Really? Are you serious?” she asked venom apparent in her tone.
“Lex...I...”
She cut him off, not really wanting to hear his definition of what serious was. “Is that what all those phone calls were? All those weekends at home? You were visiting your...girlfriend.” He nodded solemnly. “You let me go through all of this, let me feel like we were working toward something, while the whole time you were parading around with your girlfriend?” she asked weakly, her voice cracking. “What kind of person does that?”
“Lexi, please.”
She couldn’t listen to him pleading with her. She just couldn’t do it. Suddenly, her voice shifted from despair to anger.
“So, tell me, what did your girlfriend say when you told her that you had let some other girl sleep in your bed? What did she say when you told her that you would trail kisses across that same girl’s face and down her neck with countless promises for more? Hmm?” she asked forcefully pushing him away from her. “What did she say when you told her how beautiful you thought I was, and how much you had never met any other girl as amazing as me? Was she happy? Wait, let me guess, you didn’t tell her,” she spoke fiercely, accusing him. “Of course not, because had you told her, then she would be the one crying right now. Not me.”
Jack brushed his hair back from his eyes and paced away from her. “Please, Lexi, God, I didn’t want this to happen.”
“You didn’t want this to happen?” Lexi asked in disbelief. “God, are you blind? Why did you even ask me out in the first place, if you were so set on not letting this happen?” she threw the question at him angrily. “You didn’t have to. I was walking away. You could have and should have just left it at that. Just answer me that, since you can’t seem to answer anything else.”
“I hesitated,” he started lamely. “I wasn’t going to ask you out, but I thought that I could hold you back. That we could just be friends and maybe, you could even meet Danielle. Then we started hanging out, and I was in deep over my head after the first time we hung out. You were…are,” he corrected himself, “amazing. I didn’t want to stop what we had, and I never wanted to hurt you like this. But, by the time I realized I should tell you about Danielle, it was too late.”
“You’re right. It is too late. Good-bye, Jack,” she said, shoving him against the pantry door, snatching her jacket off the couch, and marching toward the exit.
“Lexi,” he called rushing after her. He latched on to her elbow and spun her around. “I told you because I want us to still be friends. I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“Don’t feed me that,” she quipped, struggling to yank her arm free. He held on tight, not letting her loose. “Let me go,” she cried warningly.
He ignored her command. “I’m not feeding you anything. The time isn’t right for us, but I don’t think that means there won’t be a time for us,” he said, his blue eyes pleading. “Please, Lex.”
“You tell me you have a girlfriend. A serious girlfriend, of what, two or three years?” He nodded. “Then you tell me that the time isn’t right for us, but you think you might want to be with me in the future? How can you even ask that of me? How much more selfish and pigheaded can you possibly act?”
He winced as she berated him. “I’m not asking for you to wait for me.”
“Good, because that’s never happening,” she said under her breath.
He forged onward. “I just mean, don’t give up on this. We haven’t even begun, and I don’t want us to be over.”
“You’re right. We haven’t begun, and we never will. Thank God, this was over before I let you fool me any longer, before I actually acquired feelings for you.” He winced again. She was saying these things just to hurt him now, and it was working. “Now, let. Me. Go,” she demanded, indicating with her forehead that he was still tightly holding onto her elbow.
“I really am sorry, Lex,” he said finally releasing her.
“Save it,” she said, cutting off any further retorts. “Just do me one thing, Jack.” She yanked open the front door.
“Anything,” he volunteered eagerly.
“Don’t you dare ever lie to me again,” she said as she slammed the door behind her.
PRESENT
Open the door.
Don’t open the door.
Open the door.
Lexi hovered in front of the plain black door with the silver handle resting in her palm, indecision distorting her features. The lock had already been clicked to an open status with the metal key still sticking out from the hole. Her bright purple luggage lay against the blue and cream patterned carpet. She had made it this far. There was no turning back. Taking a deep breath, Lexi twisted the handle and shoved the door open to Jack’s apartment.
Adjusting her black laptop sleeve, Lexi hoisted her carry-on bag to her shoulder and threw her black purse on top of it. Grabbing a hold of the extended arm from her rolling suitcase, she pushed through the open door, down the hallway, and into the living room. She recognized the brown suede furniture he had owned in college. The furniture was facing a mounted flat screen with several video game consoles underneath and surround sound hooked into a killer receiver. Two black bookshelves sat on either side of the TV, each overflowing with movies. An assortment of vinyl records covered one wall with an original copy of the Beatles White album proudly showcased at the center. Glass sliding doors opened to a balcony overlooking the Atlanta skyline. To the left was a stainless steel kitchen with black granite
countertops and a breakfast bar. Lexi peeped into the adjoining room and found a small dining room with four high-backed chairs tucked into a rectangular wooden table.
Lexi left her bags resting against the loveseat and ventured down the hallway on the right. She chose the first door on the left and entered a large master suite. Each piece of furniture was in pristine condition and appeared as if it had been directly relocated from an Ashley’s Furniture store. The deep walnut collection looked exquisite against the caramel coated walls.
Lexi paused in the doorway. She didn’t want to overstep her bounds and being in his room made her feel as if she might be invading Jack’s privacy.
Quickly closing the door, she turned and faced the one across the hall. She assumed this would be the guest bedroom Jack had mentioned. Her breath caught at the sight as she passed through the frame. She felt as if she had just traveled through time. The room was laid out in exact replication of his college apartment. Memories flooded her vision, and she took a steadying breath. She wasn’t sure if she enjoyed having memories rush her mind about that room...that bed.
Recovering her state of composure, she raced back into the living room, snatched up her luggage, and distributed it in the bedroom. She quickly stripped down into a red satin tank top and black sleeping shorts.
Despite the fact that she had taken a late flight into the city and had worked for nearly fifteen straight hours the day before, Lexi couldn’t even imagine falling asleep yet. Jack was away on business until the next morning and had offered her his guest bedroom. She had been wary at first, even more wary now that she was actually situated in his apartment with all the familiar sights and smells surrounding her. However, with the alternative of driving forty-five minutes out of town to stay at her parents as her only other option, the convenience of the arrangement had won her over in the end.
Lexi grabbed her cell and dialed Chyna’s number. “Hola chica,” Lexi uttered into her cell phone. She made her way back to the kitchen to search for something to get her mind off the fact that she was in Jack’s apartment. Rummaging through his cabinets, she zeroed in on the box of snack bites. After fishing out a pack, she pulled out a Coca-Cola from the refrigerator and set it on the counter.
“Alexa!” Chyna yelled through the blaring background noise.
“Where are you?”
“What?” Chyna screamed into the phone. A giggle broke through the line.
“Chyna, where are you?”
“Hold on. Gimme a second.”
Lexi pulled the phone from her ear to cancel out the obnoxious techno vibes blasting through the wireless. A short minute later, the noise started to fade. Then, it turned into just a buzz in the background.
“Alexa, I’m so sorry,” she slurred slightly into the receiver, clearly inebriated.
Lexi laughed. “You’re drunk.”
She should have guessed that Chyna would be in this condition on a Saturday night. She had known her for a long time, and this was pretty much par for the course.
“Psh, I’m just a liiiiiitle tipsy. It’s my natural state of being, but you know that. What’s up?”
“Just wanted some other human being to know that I landed fine.”
“Oh fantastic,” she said, another giggle filtering through the line.
“You don’t sound concerned,” Lexi said, feigning hurt feelings.
“Why would I be concerned? Flying is way safer than driving,” she said nonchalantly. “Stop, stop,” she squealed, obviously flirting with some random guy.
“Do I know your man of choice for tonight?” Lexi asked, popping open the soda and taking a long swig.
“I have no idea what you are talking about,” she feigned innocence.
“Sure…right.”
“Ohhhh…”
“Are you moaning into the phone? Are you fucking serious, Chyna? Can you chill out for one second to talk to your best friend who just traveled a thousand miles away from home?”
“You’re from Atlanta so it’s like going to your home away from home. So…no, I’m not concerned.” Lexi heard her shoo her boy nonetheless.
“I’m locked up in my sorta-non-ex-boyfriend’s apartment, and you’re not concerned?”
“Is that how you refer to me?” a voice questioned from behind her.
Lexi whipped around in surprise. Her mouth dropped open and the phone slipped from her hand hitting the tile floor, and shattering into several pieces.
“Jack.”
He looked exactly as she remembered him. Maybe a bit more handsome. He leaned against the kitchen doorframe, one leg crossed over another, hands resting in his pockets staring at her with his piercing blue eyes. His shaggy brown hair was at her favorite length, just before he needed a haircut. Black slacks with charcoal pinstripes hung loosely on his narrow hips. A black long-sleeve button-up was open at the neck where a charcoal tie had been pulled loose from its proper place; a matching overcoat had been left unbuttoned. A smirk crossed his face as his eyes scanned her scantily clad body. Lexi couldn’t really be embarrassed that he saw her in her ridiculously small nightclothes. Let’s just be honest, he had seen her in less.
She could feel her heart beating like a marathon runner at the sight of him. Yet, she felt frozen in place. She hadn’t been prepared for this. She assumed she would have all morning to look presentable, and get herself into the right state of mind. Then, she would have been able to face him. But this was completely unexpected. What was he doing here? He wasn’t supposed to be back until tomorrow.
His smirk widened at her apparent shock. “I guess surprise doesn’t really cover it, does it?” he asked her, bending forward and retrieving the loose pieces of her cell phone that had scattered across the cool tile floor.
“Not...not exactly,” she warbled. She watched as he slid the battery back into place, secured the backing, and switched it on. Lexi felt a chill run down her spine when his gaze returned to her. Reaching out, he handed her back the cell phone letting their hands brush briefly. Lexi commended herself for not flinching.
“So,” she began clearing her throat, “what are you doing here?”
“I live here,” he said smiling down on her.
Lexi rolled her eyes. “Jack, come on. What are you doing here? You weren’t supposed to get in until tomorrow.”
“Wow, Lex,” he said, using her pet name as if it had been only yesterday when he had been in New York City with her. “No, hello how are you? No, oh my God, I’ve missed you? Not even a hug? What the hell?”
Lexi couldn’t help herself. She giggled. This was the Jack she knew and loved.
“Hello. How are you? Oh my God, I’ve missed you,” she said tossing her phone onto the counter.
She swung her arms around him in earnest, knocking her body against his. He pulled her into him, gently wrapping his arms around her slight waist. What she had intended to just be a short, almost dismissive hug had instantly changed as she felt him breathe her in.
“I know you were just joking, but it really is good to see you,” he whispered into her ear.
When they pulled away, she watched as Jack took an extra step farther from her. His eyes had gone crystal clear blue, and seemed to be looking straight through her. She knew what that look meant, and every muscle in her body willed her to step forward into him. It was with great effort that she broke his determined stare and took another step backward.
Lexi reached up and brushed her hair behind her ears several times anxiously. It was a habit she had never been able to kick. Even as she did it, she knew she was giving herself away, but she really couldn’t help it. As if saved by the bell, her phone began to buzz noisily on the countertop. She glanced down at the screen groaning as she saw the hairline fracture across the surface.
“Hey,” she said answering the line.
“What the fuck happened, Alexa?” Chyna screamed into the other line. “I’ve been trying your cell for five minutes. Are you okay? Did something happen? Were you robbed?”
&nbs
p; Lexi could hear the concern evident in her voice. Suddenly, Chyna sounded sober, and very serious. Not one ounce of her previous whimsical attitude showed through. Zero thoughts of Chyna or really anything considered to be coherent had filtered through her head after Jack had entered the room. She was ashamed that she hadn’t called Chyna back right away. She felt even worse knowing that without her phone call she wouldn’t have remembered at all.
“No, no, nothing like that. I was just surprised, and I dropped my phone.”
“What could possibly surprise you to the point of not calling me back?” she asked. Lexi contemplated answering that, but didn’t get the chance as Chyna gasped on the other line. “You said he wasn’t going to be there.”
Lexi glanced up at Jack who eyed her humorously. She could practically read his thoughts. Ha. Ha. You’re in some shit now. A blush crept up her neck and landed a light pink hue on her cheeks. Chyna was practically screaming through the other line, and Lexi wasn’t sure if Jack was able to hear her.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, lying through her teeth.
Jack raised an eyebrow and mouthed to her, “I thought we were over that.”
He meant the lying, but Lexi just shrugged her shoulders ignoring his penetrating gaze. She had no desire whatsoever to talk to Chyna about Jack’s unexpected arrival, especially not while he was standing directly in front of her listening to every word.
“Alexa, you know exactly what I am talking about! You cannot be alone with him under any circumstances. We talked about this. Remember?”
Chyna was speaking so loudly that, Lexi had to pull the phone away from her ear. “Yes, I know we talked about this. But your concerns are completely irrelevant,” she stated sharply.
“Don’t bullshit me, Alexa Mae Walsh!” Lexi couldn’t help laughing. The only time Chyna ever called her by her full name was when she was absolutely livid, which made the whole situation even funnier to Lexi.