by K. A. Linde
“Oh yes. It’s always good to see you, chica,” Chyna said slamming the door shut and following her to the living room, which was currently in shambles. Lexi scooted away from a disturbing looking plaster and over to the covered black leather sofas. She took a seat and sighed resting her head back against the plastic covering.
“At least I’ll only have to endure this the first time.”
“Oh, so you think this will continue?” Chyna questioned lying back against a cream psychiatrist’s chair that Lexi had never seen before.
Lexi realized her mistake and attempted to pivot the conversation. This wasn’t what she was here to talk about with Chyna, and she didn’t particularly want to discuss her love life. “Has Frederick approved these changes?” Lexi asked glancing at the half-upturned carpet, strings of bamboo blinds, and other, more exaggerated, environmental pieces.
Chyna upturned her nose at the comment, swinging her legs back off the chair, and onto the floor. “Frederick,” she said as if the name alone caused her physical discomfort. “Frederick does not matter.”
Lexi laughed out loud at her best friend. She always did have a flare for the dramatic and a not so secret crush on her rather gay designer. “Frederick would murder you if he saw this room.”
“Precisely,” Chyna said her eyes glimmering with thoughts of indiscretion. “But enough about me. Tell me about your walk-of-shame.”
“Chyna, I told you, it’s not a walk-of-shame.”
“I know. I know,” she said cutting Lexi off and stepping around her living room as deftly as possible to take a seat next to her friend. “So, is it serious?” she questioned arching an eyebrow.
“We’ll see,” Lexi said shrugging her thin shoulders. “I think he wants it to be.”
Chyna puckered lips together and blew herself a kiss in the adjacent mirror resting against the wall. When she glanced back at Lexi, she had a devious look in her eyes. “Of course he does, darling.”
Lexi pushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Because you spoke to Ramsey this morning?” Chyna asked batting her eyelashes and tearing her gaze from her reflection to flick a glance in Lexi’s direction.
“Wha…?” Lexi asked returning the gaze her mouth popping open in surprise. “How did you know that?”
“You have that look on your face,” she said as a matter of fact.
“And what look is that?” Lexi asked mystified by her friend’s observation skills. She would have never guessed
“Like this,” Chyna said looking doe-eyed, her mouth turning up into a half-smile as if she were keeping a secret from the rest of the world, her head tilting slightly upwards, and a small sigh escaped her lips.
“I do not look like that,” Lexi cried pushing Chyna away.
“You had that exact look when you walked through my door. I’d know it anywhere. You have looks when you’re thinking about someone. I know you too well not to notice.”
“Oh yeah? Who else do I have one for then?”
Chyna’s eyes slanted seductively sideways, licked her pouted lips, let a smirk cross her face, and breathed out heavily a few times. Lexi stared at her in awe wondering what this was all about. After a second, Chyna returned to her typical look and said, “That was when you think about Jack.”
Lexi colored slightly at the reenactment. “Whatever,” she said huskily wishing she could cover her embarrassment. They didn’t typically talk about Jack, because it tended to bring up memories Lexi didn’t like to dwell on.
“Anyway,” Chyna said clearing her throat, “what did Ramsey call to talk to you about? He did call right?” Lexi nodded slowly and pushed her fingers through her hair as she yanked the ponytail holder out of place. She stood up from the plastic covered furniture and made a slow circle around the part of the room that wasn’t a disaster. “This can’t be good,” Chyna ventured.
“No, it’s fine. I’m just letting it get to me,” Lexi told her.
“Well don’t, whatever it is, don’t let it get to you. You know you need to work on not letting these boys control your emotions, chica.”
“I know, C. Don’t remind me. That’s all I’ve been thinking about since he called. I need to control myself. But it’s not that simple,” she cried throwing her arms down and staring helplessly at her friend.
“Girl, I know better than anyone. I’ve been here through it all for you,” she said reassuringly. Chyna stood and moved next to her. “So what’s up with him? Something different?”
“He…” Lexi sighed hating that she had to say this out loud, “he invited me to the wedding.”
“What?” Chyna asked taking a step back. “As in Jack’s wedding?” Chyna’s eyes had expanded to record proportions, eyebrows raised, and mouth forming an “o” in disbelief.
“Yeah, as in Jack’s wedding,” Lexi confirmed.
“Is he out of his fucking mind?” Chyna cried.
“I asked him if he was,” Lexi said chuckling quietly.
“You can’t go!”
“You think I don’t know that?” Lexi asked pulling away from Chyna and looking out across the living room. “He wanted to go with me—to be there with him.”
“I know how hard it must be, but you can’t let him do this to you,” Chyna told her trying to be the voice of reason. “It doesn’t change what happened. I know it doesn’t make things better. But at least you know now.”
“I know,” Lexi said nodding. “He’s just, you know…Ramsey.”
“I know,” Chyna agreed sympathetically, “but you can’t go to that wedding. Did he tell you the date?”
Pop music sounded in the living room causing both girls to jump. Lexi walked around the side of the couch and scooped up her purse. “No. Thank God,” Lexi told Chyna reaching into her bag. “I almost had a heart attack right there when he tried to tell me the date.”
“I’m not surprised.”
“Hold on,” Lexi said clicking the green button and answering the call. “Hello?”
“Lexi,” Ramsey’s voice filled her ears.
“Uh…” Lexi stammered glancing anxiously at Chyna and mouthing whom the caller was. Chyna shook her head vehemently and held her hand out for the phone as if she were ready to dismiss the call at any moment. “Hey,” Lexi said waving Chyna away.
“Hey. I know I called earlier, but you said you would talk to me later and I thought now is…well…later. You know? I didn’t really get to talk to you this morning, and I need to talk you,” he said babbling nervously.
This made Lexi smile despite herself. He was always so cute when he babbled on about things. Chyna glowered at Lexi’s reaction and poked her in the side to remind her to stay on track. “Yeah, well this morning really wasn’t a great time, but the answer is still no, Ramsey.” Lexi wandered down the hallway and into an empty guestroom to continue her conversation in peace.
“I know. I mean, I knew all along you were going to say no,” he said dejected.
“Then why even bother asking me?” she couldn’t help asking.
“I was hoping you might change your mind,” he said hopefully, “if you knew everything.”
“I’m pretty sure I know everything,” she grumbled.
“Parker is going to be there.”
Lexi cringed to keep from saying anything stupid. She really did not want to be having this conversation. When she had left things with Jack, she had promised that she would never again let anything like that happen…not even close. She needed control. She needed to be in control. Ramsey swayed her emotions in a completely different way than Jack, and she was all right with that. It was just when the lack of control started creeping in that she couldn’t handle it.
The way Ramsey just brought Parker up like this hoping to influence her decision made things even worse. She and Ramsey weren’t together. It shouldn’t matter to her whether Parker was going to be there or not.
But it did.
Of course it mattered to her, which is exactl
y the reason why he brought it up. And it was exactly why she couldn’t let it get to her or else he would have her hook, line, and sinker.
“Great,” Lexi stated as fake cheerful as she could get.
“Look, I want you to be there if Parker is going,” he told her, willing her to finally agree to come with him to this wedding.
“You want me to be there because Parker is going to be there?” Lexi asked incredulously. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
“I’d feel more comfortable knowing you’re around,” he told her pleading with every word.
She really hated hearing him beg her. If things had been different and they hadn’t gone through so much together, then maybe she would have changed her mind, but probably not. She had to keep reminding herself what he was asking her to do. She could not go to Jack’s wedding under any circumstance.
“So you can control what’s going on?” she asked dryly, a sting of venom in the comment.
He sighed heavily once more. “No, that’s not it at all. Parker is just…you know, and I want you to be there too.”
“Ramsey, as much as I’d love to be around you and Parker at the same time,” Lexi told him sarcastically. “I cannot…no, I will not go to that wedding. Can you not understand? This is Jack we’re talking about marrying your sister. I cannot fathom a reason good enough to go.”
“To visit me?” he asked hopefully.
“If I wanted to visit you Ramsey, I would fly to Atlanta. I wouldn’t have to go to that miserable wedding to see you,” she muttered angrily. “So please, don’t ask me again.”
Lexi could hear the defeat in the next breath he took. He was weighing whether or not to push her on the subject. It wouldn’t be smart on his part. She wasn’t wavering on this one.
“All right, Lexi. I won’t ask again. Sorry for bothering you. Will I see you again?” he asked sounding even more disheartened than when she had first told him that she wasn’t going to be in attendance.
She didn’t know how to answer him either. She strode across the bedroom to stand in front of the large vanity mirror on the hard oak dresser
. Her mind was telling her that she should tell him no, but she couldn’t help that her heart was telling her otherwise.
She hadn’t seen him in the nearly three weeks since she had left him all alone in Atlanta. A wave of déjà vu passed over her in the aftermath of her reminiscence. She had now left two men behind in Atlanta.
Jack—it was difficult to even think about him—was a necessary loss. They were self-destructive when in each other’s company. Their emotions were too strong, too heated. Their senses heightened and imaginations set free. They left a path of pain for whoever ventured near, and Jack and Lexi weren’t immune to the catastrophes they created. There was a reason the sin of lust was whirled around for eternity in Dante’s Inferno. No matter where they went, they couldn’t help but ceaselessly be in a whirlwind, always crossing that fine line between love and lust.
But did Ramsey have to be a necessary loss as well?
“I…I don’t know Ramsey,” she mumbled finally giving him the best answer she could muster.
“Well, that’s better than no,” he said always the optimist.
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“Please let me see you. I promise I won’t bring up the wedding again. I just…I miss you. I’m so sorry about everything. I’ll understand if you’re mad at me and don’t want to see me, but I really, really miss you. I’ve never met anyone like you, Lexi, and I don’t want to waste anymore time letting you slip through my fingers,” he announced.
“I don’t know,” she murmured not wanting to let him know that his words were affecting her.
“I wish I was there to kiss you,” he whispered huskily into the phone.
“Ramsey,” she said warningly, but her voice had lowered impishly with the comment.
“Tell me you’ll see me again,” he commanded, but the words were gentle.
“I…” she trailed off. “Are you planning on being in New York?” She assumed he didn’t have plans to be up here, not that money was an issue. But if he didn’t already have plans, then she could stall just a little bit longer. If he crashed back into her life so soon, she wasn’t sure she’d have the will to walk out again.
“Actually, I am,” he told her cheerfully knowing, somehow, that he had her in a corner.
“Oh,” she blurted out in surprise. She hadn’t been expecting that. Maybe he was bluffing. “What are you doing up here?”
“I have...business to attend to,” he muttered vaguely.
Lexi’s eyes darkened. She did not want to have anything to do with his business matters. “Well count me out,” she told him fiercely.
“Something for good ole Daddy, Lexi,” he mumbled obviously perturbed about the whole situation.
“Oh,” she said again. That changed things. His father, the owner of Bridges Enterprise, a multi-million dollar conglomerate, frequently had Ramsey attend to business matters when he was traveling. Ramsey, who hated working for his father for so many reasons, usually did them more for Bekah than anyone else. They had a strange bond as brother and sister. A bond Lexi didn’t much like since Bekah was the scum of the universe.
“So, what do you say?” he asked hopefully.
“Uh, all right then,” she agreed listening to the devil on her shoulder, “you can visit, but Ramsey…”
“Yes?” he asked practically giddy with excitement.
“Don’t you dare bring up that wedding,” she warned him.
SEPTEMBER—ELEVEN MONTHS EARLIER
Using her excess student loan money, Lexi signed up for Pilates classes upon returning to New York. She just wanted to forget everything that had happened in Atlanta. She was still in shape from her semi-regular jogs around the city, but it wasn’t enough. No matter what she did, law school managed to add a few extra pounds when she wasn’t looking. Not to mention after two years without gymnastics, her flexibility was basically shot. She could barely fall into a regular split, and to any prior gymnast, it was an embarrassment.
Lexi rolled over on her purple mat as the teacher instructed her into a plank position. Her core muscles hardened underneath her as she struggled through the push-up like pose. She could feel her body begin to shake from the effort, but she held her head high and kept a smile on her face to loosen her features. Just when she thought she would collapse, the teacher instructed them to release. Lexi pushed over her toes, laying her legs flat against the mat, and arching her back. Her abdominal muscles expanded, and she let her head drop backward.
Rolling back over her toes, Lexi shot her butt up into the air in a downward dog position giving her calves and shoulders a thorough working. She alternated feet, pressing each heel into the ground, and holding the move.
The tiny Pilates instructor came up behind her and flattened out her back, adjusting the position to extract the maximum potential out of the movement. “Very good,” she complimented. She flung her waist length braid over her shoulder as she stood and moved to another student.
Lexi breathed into the position letting all the built up energy of the past month release from her body. Her course work was rigorous for her final year of law school, but the anticipation of graduation looming over everything relaxed students and faculty alike. Relaxed was a relative term, of course, since she still had reading for obscure law courses in statutory interpretation and other such material that was supposed to prepare her for the Bar and the “real” world.
Just as the instructor began working them through the next series of movements, a loud jingle began playing from one of the bags stuffed against the adjacent wall. Lexi’s face colored as she realized that was her ring tone. Cell phones were strictly forbidden unless turned off. Lexi hadn’t even realized that her phone had been on until that second.
Jumping up from her seated position, Lexi scrambled to the other side of the room and switched it off. The teacher gave her a disapproving look, and then went back to
her work. A few other faces still glared at her as she flipped open the phone and glanced down. Chyna’s name appeared across the front and a text filled the screen.
“911! Get your ass over here.”
Lexi groaned inwardly at the abrupt change of course her afternoon was taking. She stuffed her cell phone back into her purse and threw it into the pile with her other stuff. She wanted to kick herself for giving into Chyna’s hysterical whims, but her friend was important to her. And if Chyna said there was an emergency, Lexi came running. Chyna had always been there for her when she needed her most.
With that in mind, Lexi rushed back to her mat and began rolling it up. She slipped the cover over the squishy material and slung it over her shoulder. “Kathy, I have to run,” she said approaching the woman and smiling apologetically.
“Come back and make it up later in the week,” Kathy said, her smile warm and understanding. The woman was a godsend, honestly.
After signing up for a make-up session with the receptionist, Lexi rushed out on the busy Manhattan Street and pulled her phone back out. “What’s the 911, chica?” she punched into the system and hit send.
She pushed a loose wisp of hair behind her ear and continued down the street-dodging pedestrians. Almost instantly she had a return message, “Tell you when you get here. Hurry!”
Lexi sighed and broke into a light jog. She wasn’t certain if it was necessary for her to be rushing to Chyna’s apartment, but she didn’t want to take the chance. Chyna was prone to dramatic flairs, but it wasn’t typically a 911 situation. Running out of breath and energy, Lexi briskly walked the next few blocks, resting momentarily as she reached the door front to Chyna’s apartment. Her lime green messenger bag smacked one last time against her back as she reached forward to hold onto a pole for support.
“Miss Lexi, are you all right?” a concerned Bernard asked her.
“Fine, just ran across town. Chyna said it was 911,” she managed to get out through gasping breathes. “You know anything about this, Mr. B?”
Bernard averted his eyes to the ground and gulped. “I can’t really say,” he mumbled.