by K. A. Linde
“Oh! I’d almost forgotten that you love these beaches,” she said, her smile lighting up even further. “It must be nice to get away from the club for a while and enjoy the sun.”
Lexi’s head snapped from Ramsey back to the woman in front of him. She knew about the clubs. She knew that he liked these beaches. Who was this woman?
“It is,” he agreed gulping hard.
“Are Brad and Jason with you?” she asked, still not taking her eyes from him. The ease of the conversation on her end was evident.
How did she know his roommates? Not that anyone couldn’t know his roommates. But she had never seen this girl. She had never met this girl, for sure. She had never heard mention of her. She certainly would have remembered someone who looked like her.
“Yeah, they’re inside,” he said jerking his head toward the bar.
“That’s great. I was fortunate enough to get a stint of my residency down here. The hospital has been keeping me up all hours of the day, but I’m almost finished so it’s been cutting back some. But soon, I can move back home,” she said dreamily.
“Your parents must be thrilled about that,” Ramsey said wistfully.
Whoa! Lexi’s body stilled. Did he just say her parents? Did he know her parents?
“They are,” she agreed a cute smile creeping up onto her face. “Look about the wedding—I’m trying to get your dad to lay off.”
Lexi’s mouth dropped to the ground at that statement. What wedding? Was she talking about Jack’s wedding, or had Lexi just lost her mind? And how was she involved in this wedding? Clearly they were acquainted with each other’s parents, but Lexi couldn’t bring herself to put the pieces together.
Ramsey had the good sense to cut off that line of conversation. “It’s fine. I already told him off.”
“Maybe we should talk about this,” she said reaching her hand forward, then thinking better of it and let it drop to her side.
“No really, let’s not,” he said cutting her off.
The girl’s mouth strained around the edges at the abrupt statement. “We should figure it out sometime. It’s not like Bekah is going to let this all slide.”
There was Lexi’s confirmation. She couldn’t believe this. This girl was somehow involved in Bekah and Jack’s wedding, and Lexi had no idea how. Not that she really had ever wanted to know the details of what was being planned. She hadn’t. But she would have wanted to know who this woman was, and how she fit into the whole scheme of things.
Seemingly realizing for the first time, that she was being ignored, Lexi stuck her hand out in front of her.
“I’m Lexi, Ramsey’s girlfriend. And you are?”
The girl turned her head to the side and glanced at Lexi. She could tell that the woman was having the same wave of emotions flow through her body. The resemblance between them was uncanny.
“You’re Ramsey’s…girlfriend?” the woman asked, looking between Lexi and Ramsey in nearly a state of shock. “I didn’t realize that he had a girlfriend.”
Lexi tried to hide her embarrassment at having that statement repeated to her after the humiliating scene in Bridges. Whoever this woman was, Lexi was pretty sure she wasn’t going to like her.
“Uh…yeah. That would be me.”
The woman slid her hand into Lexi’s and seemed to examine her closely. “Well then, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Lexi. I’m Parker.”
PRESENT
Ramsey was the last person she had wanted to witness her and Jack alone together. She didn’t dare glance away from Ramsey’s stormy green eyes. She had known him long enough to understand what was going on in his head right now—to know his expression. Her heart went out to Ramsey as she searched his face. He had to be in Jack’s wedding, and it was pretty obvious that if he hadn’t despised him prior to this moment…he did now. He looked as if he could rip him to pieces—tear him limb from limb, and feel no remorse for his actions.
He was usually so calm and controlled. Only a select few times had she seen him go off on anyone. She was unfortunate enough to have been one of those people. He had made up for it of course, but she didn’t wish the experience on anyone else. Not even Jack, someone who probably deserved a good telling-off.
Ramsey cleared his throat as if her and Jack jumping apart hadn’t assured his introduction. “Bekah is looking for you.” Ramsey could barely contain a growl as he pointedly made the statement. His free hand was clenched at his side. The muscles around his mouth were tight and strained. A deep furrow stretched between his eyebrows.
Jack nodded, slumping his shoulders as he slunk forward. He stopped before reaching him and said, “Hey man, you mind not telli…”
Ramsey’s threatening glare cut him off. He could have pierced straight through him in that moment and Jack knew it. “I think my sister is still waiting for you,” he spat at Jack, clearly disgusted.
Jack snapped his mouth shut. Whatever he had been about to inquire of Ramsey died on his tongue. He nodded his head resolutely and scurried from the security of the weeping willow. Lexi watched him go with resignation that she would soon be alone with Ramsey, and she would have to account for her inexplicable actions.
Lexi didn’t have to be a genius to know what Jack had been about to ask. It was pretty clear that if she hadn’t wanted Ramsey to know…Jack sure as hell didn’t want Bekah to find out. Lexi had gone to such lengths to keep them apart for the past year, and here they were again making the same stupid mistakes. She and Ramsey weren’t even dating. She wasn’t sure what they were at the present moment, but no matter her present relationship with Ramsey, she didn’t want him to see her alone with Jack.
She couldn’t blame him for having been about to ask Ramsey not to tell Bekah. It was a futile endeavor, but she couldn’t blame him for it.
She just wanted to hit herself for her own stupidity. She wouldn’t blame anyone for being angry with her; she was angry with herself. What was she thinking? It went beyond the fact that she had been caught with Jack. It went beyond her conversation with her Mystery Man. If she didn’t feel anything for Ramsey, if it was really over, then she wouldn’t feel so bad about her actions. She wouldn’t feel guilty, but she did. And in that moment, she knew she would rather call Chyna and get yelled at to avoid the reprimand she was certain was coming from Ramsey. She cared too much about what he thought of her.
She had been blinded by too many things—her need for escape, her addiction to Jack, her rebound with her Mystery Man. She needed to get her act together.
Ramsey closed off their exit and walked toward her. “Look, I know we’re not together,” he said. He ran his hands back through his honey blonde hair and scratched the back of his head as if in thought.
“I know that we have a lot of things to work out. I know that you’re pretty pissed off at me. I just…I can’t…I just don’t understand. I can’t begin to fathom your reasoning.” His words came out rushed, and Lexi was struck with her first meeting with him when he hadn’t been able to shut up. At any other time it would have made her want to smile, but not in this moment.
“I just…look there’s no other way around it…excuse my language, but what the fuck were you doing?” he asked unable to keep his ever-present cool.
Lexi’s mouth popped open at the statement. “Nothing,” she piped up without hesitation.
“Nothing? You’re going to try and come back with nothing?” he asked his eyes narrowing dangerously. If he had looked angry before it was nothing in comparison to the fire in him at her plea of innocence.
“Really, Ramsey, we weren’t doing anything,” she squeaked gulping down hard.
He took a deep breath. “You left the party. When I got back from helping my sister at my father’s request…no, demand, you were gone. When I asked around, the only response I got was that you had left with Jack. That they had seen you take a walk together. That you were…” he took another calming breath but the bite remained in his voice, “with Jack…alone.”
Lexi could
n’t find a response. All of that was true. She could hardly deny the facts.
“I don’t know why you came here,” he said gesturing to the weeping willow. “I don’t even know how he knows about this place.”
It was evident that this locale had more significance than Ramsey was letting on. She didn’t know nor, at this moment, did she want to know what was special about where she was standing. All she could think about was the anger that he was directing toward her.
“Regardless,” he grumbled, leaning in closer to her, “I find you two together, against each other, holding each other. I just…I don’t understand why you would—for Christ’s sake, you even look guilty,” he rushed out.
Lexi took a healing breath in hopes of calming her heart, which was slamming around in her chest. “I know. I know,” she muttered quickly. “That’s probably because I feel guilty for being alone with him.”
She couldn’t deny that. She hadn’t wanted to go for a walk with him in the first place. She knew the dangers. Yet, she had agreed in the end anyway. Whether her intentions were clear didn’t matter, because she had gone ahead and followed him to this place. She had stayed despite his advances, despite the gnawing feeling that everything that was happening was a terrible mistake. Sure, they had resisted each other, but to what extent. He still had enough power and control to get her to leave with him, walk with him, and follow him to the ends of the earth.
“Then why did you do it? Why do you get suckered in by him?” he begged the question storming past her and sitting on the now empty bench.
“I don’t know,” she cried throwing her arms up in the air. It was a question she had always asked herself. A question anyone that knew her at all asked her. Jack didn’t deserve one second of her precious time.
She knew that.
Yet, she couldn’t stay away from him when they were together. How could she explain that to Ramsey? How could he possibly understand?
“I don’t know how to explain,” she finally muttered quietly.
“Well, could you just try, because I’m at a loss.”
“It’s not as if you’ve been saintly,” Lexi grumbled walking in a disgruntled circle.
“I’m not saying I have been. I’d apologize a thousand times over if you’d just let me, but that’s neither here nor there.” Lexi rolled her eyes. “Please, try to explain Jack to me.”
“He’s just…I don’t know,” she started chewing on her bottom lip again. “You don’t want to hear me talk about him.” She glanced back toward him briefly and saw that he was eyeing her very closely, but turned away quickly.
“No. Really, I do. I can’t fathom why you would come out here with him,” he stated the matter simply. “You know that only leads to things you’ll regret.” He didn’t have to say that she knew better, but she heard it anyway.
Lexi turned and stared at him. “You’re the one who dragged me out here. You’re the one who insisted I come to this wedding. I haven’t seen Jack more than a handful of times in a year and certainly not long enough to have a conversation with him…” she began.
“Because you refused to see him!” he cried interrupting her.
“Of course, I did!” she shot back throwing her arms in the air. “Do you think I don’t know what kind of effect he has on me?”
“If you know, then why go near him?” he questioned her. He sounded genuinely curious, but she could hear more. His breathing was shallow, and he was getting worked up.
“I had no plans of going near him. The last thing I wanted was to go to this wedding. You knew that, and yet you asked me to go anyway,” she said feeling like an idiot as soon as the words slipped out of her mouth.
“Are you trying to blame this on me?” he asked jumping down her throat at the first chance. “Because I’m pretty sure you refused to go to this wedding with me. Then Jack swoops in and invites you, and suddenly you change your story. There’s really something fucked up about that Lexi.”
Lexi’s mouth fell open. “So, there it is,” she grumbled. “Just laying it all out there for me.”
“You can’t seriously deny that it’s messed up,” he implored trying to reason with her. Lexi crossed her arms refusing to give a response. “Fine, refuse to deny it. That’s fine. Just try and actually explain Jack to me. Even though I’m in the man’s wedding, I don’t see the appeal.”
“Ramsey,” she muttered sighing heavily. “You don’t want to hear this.” She turned away from him not wanting to meet his eyes.
“Please, help me understand,” he said grabbing her by the waist and swinging her back around to face him.
Lexi puffed out the breath she was holding unsure of how to proceed with the conversation. She couldn’t actually believe that he wanted to know what she felt for Jack…or didn’t feel. She could hardly explain it to herself, let alone him. And anyway, all it would accomplish was to hurt him.
“He just…I don’t know, Ramsey, you really want me to talk about this?” she asked glancing anxiously around the enclosure. She was desperately trying to get out of this conversation. She figured if she kept asking, then maybe he would change his mind.
“Please,” he begged. Maybe not.
“Jack and I…” Lexi began hating the way the words fell from her mouth, “we’ve been through this kind of tug of war for…God, seven years now,” she said, still amazed at the length of time. “We had this instant connection. Electric chemistry,” she murmured trying not to sound too desperate. She wanted to spare his feelings, but really she had tried to warn him. “It was like the sun only shined when we were together.
“Like the world fell away and it was just the two of us,” she murmured softly trying to keep the adoration out of her voice, but finding it increasingly difficult. She could remember the way Chyna claimed she looked when she talked about Jack—dreamy-eyed and seductive. She hoped she didn’t look like that now… “We have such a long history that when I look into his eyes that’s all I can see. I forget the stupidity of what we’ve done and who could get hurt. I just remember the man who loved me once,” she muttered softly, her heart hurting at the admission. “It’s like a moth to a flame.”
“So, what are we?” Ramsey asked finally.
“I don’t know.”
“Can you explain us?”
“We’re not together. We broke up,” she reminded him. She needed to reassert the boundaries.
He ground his teeth. “Well, what were we, if that’s Jack?”
“It’s not like that.”
“Like what?” he asked genuinely curious.
“It’s not you or him.” She hated herself for admitting the feeling that she had been having for a long time.
Ramsey’s eyes stormed over once more at the statement. “No, Lexi, it really is me or him.”
“That’s not what I meant,” she said backtracking, “I just mean that…you didn’t replace him.”
“What?” Ramsey snapped becoming angrier at every statement.
“Oh God,” Lexi cried sitting down heavily on the bench and burying her head in her hands. “I don’t mean it like that either. Do you remember the first time you told me you loved me?” she whispered. Her thoughts crashed back to that day—before she had met Parker—before it had all gotten more complicated.
Ramsey stood completely still. “Of course,” he said matching her tone.
“I kind of realized it then,” she murmured pulling back to look into his curious eyes. She had realized it then. She had realized it when she exited the bathroom at his parent’s house. She had realized it when she was caught with Jack just now.
“Realized what?”
“That thinking of you as replacing Jack would be a disservice to you.”
Ramsey stared at her stunned. “A disservice?” he asked wanting to be clear.
Lexi sighed and brushed a loose lock of hair behind her ear before continuing. “You occupied a new place in my heart—a place I wanted only you to touch.”
Ramsey smiled, truly smil
ed for the first time since he had brushed aside the weeping willow branches. He sat down beside her on the park bench. “This can’t happen again,” he said, his tone determined.
Lexi turned away from his demanding eyes. She knew first hand it couldn’t happen again. “I know what I need to do.”
“What’s that? What do you need to do?”
“I just need to get through this week…this wedding,” she added leaning back against the bench and staring straight forward.
“What happens after this week?” he asked. She just shrugged. She couldn’t commit to anything. There was too much to think about before she could begin to answer that question.
“You know how I feel about you, and all my concerns for you and your future,” he said grasping her chin and turning it back toward him. “You know I want to be a part of that future.”
“Yeah, well, you should have thought about that,” she murmured hating herself for bringing up her own insecurities when she was most weak. “You should have thought about that the past couple months.” She pulled her chin out from his grasp.
Ramsey sighed heavily, letting his hand drop to his lap. “I don’t want to fight with you. You’re right, I asked you to come down here. I messed up. And yeah, I kind of expected you and Jack to need…a moment,” he said the last words with a grating edge like nails on a chalkboard. “But I just told you the man was having doubts. Can you cut me some slack here, Lexi? I’m really trying.”
“So, I’ve heard,” she grumbled.
“What does that mean?”
“I’ve heard from everyone about how much you’re trying,” she murmured. She hadn’t meant to bring it up. She really hadn’t, but she had heard about him trying a bit too much recently. She wanted to know what was going on.
“I don’t know what anyone else has said, but yes, Lexi, I am trying. It’s no secret that I want you back,” he said running his hand up her bare arm, across her shoulder, and trailing through her thick brown hair.
As he began to massage her neck, she let the anger drain out of her. “Look, I’m sorry,” she murmured softly, turning into his shoulder and wrapping her arms around his neck. He pulled her across the bench and onto his lap holding her tight. “I—we have a lot to talk about, but right now isn’t the time or place. I shouldn’t have…”