by K. A. Linde
Chyna had laughed when she heard what had happened. Quintessential Chyna. She had told Lexi that John had probably had that coming for a long time. While likely accurate, Lexi had still felt so pissed about the whole situation that she couldn’t join in with her friend’s laughter. Chyna had been in such a state of bliss with Adam that someone getting punched at her own wedding hadn’t even affected her.
Lexi hadn’t been able to talk to Ramsey at the reception, and even after that, the anger had just festered inside of her. He had suggested pushing back the wedding again, but she had just waved him off. She hadn’t wanted to make a decision when she was this angry. Sleeping on it would be a better alternative to making a quick decision now and regretting it later.
Ramsey had tried to make it up to her, but she wasn’t having that either. Mostly, she had just wanted to be alone…and call Jack…and sleep.
She didn’t get to do any of those things though.
The workdays after the wedding were some of the worst Lexi had experienced since she had closed the Bryant case last year. Months of work had come to a head during the weekend, and she hadn’t been there for any of it. That meant her life when she came home at a reasonable hour was nonexistent. It also meant that the time that she really needed to be spending with Ramsey was nonexistent.
When they returned to Atlanta, she spent all Sunday night and Monday preparing for a rushed court date. Then, the next two days, she had awoken at the crack of dawn and spent all day in the courtroom and her office before collapsing back into bed, exhausted.
She was so excited when court released early on Thursday. After spending a few more hours preparing for the next day, Lexi’s boss finally allowed her to leave the office. It was already getting dark outside, but at least it wasn’t approaching midnight. That had been her hell week.
“Lexi,” her boss called, turning the corner into her office.
She tried not to cringe as he said her name.
“Yes, sir?” If he asked her to stay late another night, she might have a meltdown.
“Stay on call tonight, okay?”
“Do you think I’ll be needed?” she asked, hoping and praying that she would get a few moments to breathe.
“We’re waiting on some last-minute sensitive material to show up, and if it comes in tonight, we’ll need you here to review it before the morning.”
“Yes, sir,” she said, wanting nothing more than to turn off her phone and pretend like she hadn’t heard any of that.
He left the doorway, and she sagged into her chair. Great. If that information came in tonight, then she was screwed. Tonight was the one night this week that she knew she wouldn’t be working until all hours of the night before still coming in bright and early.
She wanted to talk to Ramsey about the wedding. She had decided to postpone. With this brutal schedule, there was no way she was going to be ready for a wedding. Another six months to a year wouldn’t be the end of the world. She needed more time. He was okay with more time. Chyna had done an extended engagement, and that had worked out for her.
Yes, that conversation needed to happen tonight. She couldn’t put it off any longer.
She threw the last of her paperwork into her messenger bag and rushed out of the office before her boss could hold her over any longer. She made it through the elevator and out the front door before her phone started ringing.
“Fuck!” she cried.
No, he couldn’t be calling already. She needed time away. She needed to leave!
Fishing the phone out of her purse, she stared down at the number on the screen and slumped in relief. “Jack,” she said in greeting. “Thank God you’re not my boss.”
“Hey, Lex. Were you expecting your boss?”
“I haven’t gotten a moment’s peace all week. This case is almost as bad as that one from last year. I can’t even see straight. I fear I’ll be back in the office really early,” she told him as she walked to her car.
“That sucks. How long do you think they will keep this up?” he asked.
“Not sure. Last time it was at least two weeks of this hurry-up-and-wait business.”
“We just got our divorce date.”
“That’s great!” she said, not able to hide her enthusiasm because she was too brain dead. She was quite ready for Bekah to stop torturing Jack like this. “When do you have to be there? I doubt it will be like what I’m doing right now. They try to wrap up divorce trials pretty quickly.”
“Three weeks from tomorrow.”
“Three weeks! They gave you three weeks’ notice?” she squeaked, sliding into the driver’s side and pulling out of the parking lot on the way back to her place.
“It seems that Bekah’s father knows the judge and got the date scheduled as soon as possible.”
“Of course he knows the fucking judge,” she grumbled. “Is Richard prepared?”
“Yeah, we’ve been working on it for months now.”
Lexi sighed. At least there was that. She hadn’t heard from Bekah since the mediation session back in February. It had been blissfully quiet, which just made her a bit anxious. Being the masterful manipulator that she was, Bekah being quiet meant that she had more time to plot.
“Okay. Well, I hope that this is as painless as possible, and you can just…move on.”
“Yeah. Thanks for still talking to me after what happened last month. I probably shouldn’t have gotten that drunk and—”
“It’s fine,” Lexi said quickly.
They had never brought up what had happened at his apartment a couple of weeks ago. They had just moved forward.
“All right,” he said softly. “I didn’t mean to jeopardize anything for you.”
“You didn’t,” she said. “Please, Jack, let’s just…not do this. I need to go.”
“Okay, Lex. I’ll let you know if I hear anything more from Richard. If you need anything, I’m only a phone call away. Now that tax season is over, I’m not as swamped at work as you.”
“Thank you,” she whispered before jumping off the line.
She didn’t want to have Jack stuck in her head when she was about to go have a serious conversation with Ramsey, one that she probably needed to have a while ago.
Lexi pulled into her spot in the garage and killed the engine. She was nervous about what was to come, but knowing that she was finally going to speak with Ramsey about how she had been feeling gave her more of a clear resolve than normal. She hadn’t wanted things to just implode at Chyna’s wedding, and Lexi was glad that she had taken the time to think about what she wanted to do.
She took the stairs up to the front door. She was so happy to be home. It felt like such a long time since she had seen Ramsey for more than the few minutes before she crawled into bed. Things had been rocky lately, but that didn’t mean she didn’t want to see him. Her throat constricted as emotions rushed over her. She just wanted to make this all right.
Ramsey wasn’t downstairs, but she knew he was home. She’d seen his Mercedes in the garage next to the Maserati he always kept covered. Lexi dropped her bag on the couch, kicked her heels off, and then raced up to the second floor.
“Ramsey,” she called softly, announcing herself to the quiet upstairs.
When she didn’t get a response, she wondered if he was napping or if he was wrapped up in his work and hadn’t heard her. She shrugged and wandered down the hall.
She toed the bedroom door open and found it also empty. He must be in the office. She pulled off her blazer and tossed it onto the dresser before continuing down to the office. She turned the knob and walked in.
“Ramsey, I’m home early,” she said and then stopped in her tracks. “What are you doing here?” she asked before she could stop herself.
Ramsey sat in his office chair, holding some papers, and Parker stood in front of him. She actually wasn’t in scrubs and just had on a plain pair of light-colored jeans and a polo. Her arms were crossed, and she didn’t look happy.
“Oh!” P
arker said, her head snapping to the door. “Lexi!”
Ramsey sat there, staring down at the papers. His face was a mask of shock, and it took him a minute to register what was going on. “Lexi, you’re home early.”
“I said that,” she said hesitantly.
Ramsey placed the papers carefully on the desk, like he didn’t want to mess them up, and then stood. He walked to her and pulled her into a hug. She returned it halfheartedly. She didn’t know what this was all about.
“What’s going on?” Lexi asked, knowing that something was going on.
“I was just leaving,” Parker said. She glanced between them uncomfortably and then walked toward the door.
“But what are you doing here?” Lexi blocked her escape route. “Why is she here?” She hated repeating herself, but answers weren’t following.
“I came to bring him some paperwork, and now, I’m planning to leave,” Parker said softly. “That’s it.”
“Is that right?” she asked, facing Ramsey once more.
“Yes. Just some paperwork.”
Lexi crossed her arms and glanced between them. Something didn’t feel right, but she didn’t know what it was. Why did she have to bring him paperwork to his house? Why couldn’t it have waited until tomorrow? Why couldn’t she have called him into the hospital? Nothing looked out of place. Ramsey’s suit was immaculate. Parker didn’t look guilty or anything. She just looked run-down as per usual—maybe even a little more worse for wear.
“What kind of paperwork?” Lexi asked.
Parker stiffened at the question, and Ramsey wouldn’t meet her eyes. Aha! So, she had touched on it—what neither of them wanted to talk about.
“Ramsey?” she implored.
“You should let Parker go. She doesn’t need to be here for this. Then, we should talk.”
Lexi’s heart thudded in her chest. We should talk. It sounded like a death trap. Of course, she had come home early because she wanted to talk to him about the wedding, but…but this sounded different. She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear as she tried to get herself under control. This couldn’t be good.
She moved out of the way, and Parker left the room as quickly as possible. With her gone, she thought that the tension would fall off of him…but it didn’t.
“What’s going on, Ramsey? You’re as white as a ghost.”
“She had a miscarriage.”
“I’m sorry. What?” she snapped, her mind going to the worst possible place.
His green eyes locked onto her, and he shook his head. “When we were dating in college…she had a miscarriage.”
Lexi’s mouth dropped open slightly. A miscarriage. “How do you know? I thought there wasn’t any proof.”
He walked back to the desk and grabbed the paperwork. “See for yourself,” he said, shoving it into her hands.
Lexi snatched the papers from him and scoured the paperwork to try to decipher what she was looking at—discharge paperwork for an abortion clinic.
“What?”
“Admitted and discharged in the same hour. She didn’t go through with it.”
“Where the hell did she come up with this? Is that really suspicious to you that she just magically appeared with the paperwork to prove her point?”
“She went to the clinic right after we broke up and tried to get some paperwork, but the person she spoke with said they had no record of her being there. She didn’t go to the doctor because she was scared that her family would find out. She went back just to see if someone else could be more helpful, and they were able to find this.”
“Don’t you find it odd that she continues to corner you to talk about it? And now, she can prove her innocence even though she knows you’re marrying another woman?” Lexi demanded. “Why did she even have to bring this up? What does she gain?”
“I don’t know, Lexi. I’ve been accusing her of having an abortion for years. It must have been hard to have someone think that you were lying. I guess she gains absolution,” he said softly.
She thought the reasoning was bullshit. Parker was doing this to get back with Ramsey. She might want forgiveness, but she damn well wanted Ramsey, too.
“And you don’t think these papers magically appeared because she wants to get back together with you?”
Ramsey stared at the ground and shook his head. “We had our chance. She didn’t want that after the break, and she doesn’t want that now.”
It was convenient how Ramsey didn’t say that he didn’t want that. Though, she knew he had told her that countless times. She knew that he had always said that he didn’t want Parker.
Lexi ground her teeth together and rifled through the papers, wanting them to say more, wanting them to give her the answers. In frustration, she tossed the papers up in the air and let them settle down on the ground. “These don’t prove anything!”
“Lexi! Jesus!” he said, scrambling to pick up the paperwork she had just discarded.
“Why does this even matter to you?” She gestured at the paper, still scattered on his office floor. “Why the fuck won’t you just let it go?”
“Because I ruined my life years ago over nothing!” he bellowed.
Lexi stood very still. “Ruined your life? I didn’t realize that your life was ruined without Parker,” she whispered scathingly.
“I didn’t mean that,” he said, fisting his hands into his hair. “Don’t you at least understand? We broke up because I thought she had taken away my kid without talking to me. Do you know what that does to someone? And then to find out you were a complete and total asshole to the one person who had always believed in you…I just feel like such a douche. And I know it shouldn’t matter to me because I have you, Lexi, but it does. It matters. I can’t explain it. It’s like watching a wall I’d put up for years crumble to the ground in an instant.”
“Do you still love her?” Lexi whispered.
“I love you.”
“I know you do,” she said, swallowing back the lump in her throat.
“I just need time to process this information. It doesn’t change anything with us, Lexi. It doesn’t change how I feel about you. I just never expected this to happen. I was so certain that it was an abortion. It was the only thing that made sense to me. I couldn’t believe Parker, and I couldn’t believe Bekah. Oh Bekah—fuck!” he cried, sitting back into the chair. “I was an ass to her about this for so long.”
“Well, she probably deserved it.”
“Lexi, just lay off for one second. I walked out of her wedding for you. Don’t you think you could cut me some slack when it comes to her?”
No, she most certainty did not. Bekah was the epitome of evil. If they wanted to talk about people who had ruined her life, then Lexi would be sure to put Bekah right up there on the top. In fact, the more she thought about it, the angrier she got.
“We shouldn’t even talk about Bekah. I hate her.”
“She’s still my sister.”
“Well, it’s really clear that we don’t choose our family,” Lexi said.
“What are you even doing home this early?” he asked, changing the subject. He sank in the chair at his desk and rested his head in his hands.
She could see him hurting, and she wanted to find sympathy for him. She did feel sympathy for him…she really did. It probably hurt like a motherfucker, finding out that he had been all wrong about the woman that he had been planning to marry. She couldn’t imagine going through something like that with Jack. She was glad there had never been a pregnancy scare. She didn’t know what she would have done in that situation.
But at the same time, all of this had happened years ago. And yeah, it was emotional and upsetting that he was just now discovering the truth, but it wasn’t the end of the world—not unless it changed something…changed the way he felt about Lexi or Parker or both.
“My boss let me out since I had to be in early the rest of the week. I came home because I hadn’t seen you, and I wanted to talk to you. We haven’t gotten a
chance to talk since Chyna’s wedding.”
“What do we have to talk about?” he grumbled.
She hated doing this right now. He was already hurting, and this wasn’t going to make anything better. But she couldn’t hold back any longer. It was eating at her every day. She couldn’t keep things from him, not when it was impacting her this much.
“I want to postpone the wedding.”
Ramsey let loose a strangled cry at the words, and Lexi felt like her heart was breaking.
“You said it was okay…”
“I didn’t think you would actually want to do it.”
“So, you…lied?” she asked, her brow furrowing in confusion.
Ramsey stood slowly. He was so tall that he towered over her, even with the weight of everything that had happened holding down his shoulders. “I didn’t lie. I want to marry you whenever you’ll have me. I just worry about postponing.”
“Why?” she whispered, feeling like she knew what was coming.
He sighed and dropped his head before answering. “I’m afraid this is a reaction to what just happened, not a reflection of how you really feel. I promise it doesn’t change things with us, Lexi.”
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “This isn’t about Parker. This is me. This is my decision.”
“It just seems like you didn’t want to do it before, and now you do because of what just happened.”
“I’m telling you that I’m making up my mind about what I want. This is my decision. The pressure at work is too much. I don’t feel in control.”
“Are you ever going to be in control?” Ramsey asked, running his hand back through his hair. “You keep talking about control like you’ll ever have a grasp on it. If we ever had control over our relationships, then I wouldn’t have just found out about Parker’s miscarriage. That,” he said, pointing out the door that Parker had just left through, “that is what it’s like to be out of control. You just use it as an excuse.”