But it was as impossible as it was complicated.
Heath knew absolutely nothing about her, was still a suspect in a crime she was investigating. Absolutely no good at all could come out of it.
‘Booze bus.’ His voice broke into her thoughts and she let out a low groan as the all-too-familiar sight of police flagging down motorists came into view, a couple of empty cars by the side of a large white bus proof that even after all the adverts, all the warnings, people still hadn’t quite got the message.
‘You’re being pulled in.’ Heath grinned but it changed to a frown when he saw her anxious eyes. ‘You had one glass of wine at the social club,’ Heath pointed out.
‘I know,’ Bella mumbled. ‘I just always feel guilty somehow.’
‘Well, you’ve got nothing to worry about. Unless…’ Heath grinned ‘…you’ve got a bottle of vodka stashed in your bag.’
Cheeks flaming, she waited her turn, cursing herself over and over for agreeing to go out with Heath without back-up. If she was being followed, the detectives behind would be radioing urgently ahead, warning the officers to just let her through, not to make a personal comment that would show they recognized her. She could see Andy, an officer she’d worked alongside on many times on nights like this, waving a driver on and signalling her to come forward, and with her pulse pounding in her temples Bella wound down her window, registering the smile on Andy’s face as he recognized his colleague’s car.
‘Hello, you!’ he started, but as pleading eyes met his, his cheery greeting petered out.
‘Evening, Officer,’ Bella said through impossibly dry lips, praying Andy would get it, would realize that she was in fact undercover.
‘Been working?’ Andy asked, his eyes flicking over the uniform.
‘That’s right.’
‘And have you had anything to drink this evening?’
‘One glass of wine,’ Bella croaked, pretending to listen as he relayed instructions, licking her lips and trying to catch enough breath to breathe into the blessed machine.
‘Fine.’ Andy nodded, checking the reading and stepping back from the car. ‘Enjoy the rest of your evening.’
‘He was friendly,’ Heath commented as they drove off, and if ever Bella had needed a wake-up call then she’d got one, any thoughts of prolonging the evening flying out of the still open window as she followed Heath’s directions, gratefully pulling up at a smart townhouse, thankful that this dangerous liaison was nearly over.
‘Do you want to come in for a coffee?’ His voice was gruff, and Bella could have sworn that even in the darkness she could see his cheeks darkening.
‘Better not.’ She kept her voice deliberately light, tapping her fingers on the steering-wheel as he unclipped his belt, feeling the weight of his stare burning into her cheeks as he turned to face her.
‘Bella?’
She didn’t want to turn around, didn’t want to look at him, terrified, truly terrified he’d read the desire blazing in her eyes, make it more impossible than it already was to end the evening with a casual goodbye.
‘Bella?’
This time she did turn, this time she did look at him, and she could see the slight trepidation in his own eyes at what was happening, the speed at which their feelings had taken over, and it actually made her feel better, the fact that he was as bewildered as her.
Heath’s face was moving towards her with agonizing slowness, plenty of time to dodge away, but instead she was leaning forward, filled suddenly with a strong need to feel the weight of his lips on hers. She closed her eyes as that moment came, relishing the delicious scent of him, the warmth of his lips moving slowly on hers. She was vaguely aware somewhere in the periphery of her mind of her hand reaching out behind him, fingers burying themselves in the thick, silky blond hair, dragging him a touch closer, a delicious shiver somewhere deep inside as his tongue softly parted her lips, taking the intimacy deeper, tasting him, losing herself completely in the moment, the scratchy feel of his beautiful face against hers, the giddy, almost weightless feel his kiss aroused. She wanted to stay like that for ever, wanted his touch to drown out the pain of the past. But like an unwelcome visitor, reality beckoned, summoning her back to earth with a thud. Pulling away was the hardest part, ending the most precious, delicious moment she had indulged in in four long, lonely years, but staying now could only make it harder still.
‘I’m not ready for this, Heath.’ She blinked at him in the darkness, could still feel his warm breath on her cheek, the sting of his kiss on her lips. ‘It’s just not a good time right now.’
‘Too much, too soon?’
She nodded, hating herself, because even that was a lie. There was no such thing as too much of Heath, and as for too soon—now that it had arrived, Bella felt as if she’d been waiting for ever.
‘We’ll take things slowly, then.’ Tracing a finger along her jaw, he lifted her chin to look at him. ‘Coffee will just be coffee. I want to get to know you a bit better, find out a bit about you. So far it’s all been about me.’
‘There’s just too much going on in my life right now, Heath…’
‘Then tell me about it,’ he pushed, but, clinging to the steering-wheel for dear life, she shook her head.
‘Please, Heath, just go.’
He didn’t slam the door, wasn’t anything other than the perfect gentleman as he got out and walked to his home, but as Bella drove off, she knew how much she’d hurt him, and knew that she’d completely confused him. He’d merely wanted to find out more about her, but that was the one thing she simply couldn’t give.
Letting herself into her flat, she stared at the blinking green light of her answering-machine and balled her fists against her temples as the strained sound of Danny’s mother’s voice filled the air, Joyce urging her to call, wondering why she hadn’t been in to see Danny this evening, and every word only lacerated Bella further. Every word turned the knife in her heart a notch more. Guilt layered upon guilt as it hit her that Danny lay helpless and alone in the nursing home and that after all these years, despite her vehement denials when it had first happened, she was doing what every person had said she one day would.
Moving on with her life.
CHAPTER SEVEN
‘IT ISN’T enough, Bella.’
Detective Miller didn’t look like a detective, Bella decided, staring over her coffee cup and trying to look as alert as one could at six a.m.
Which probably meant he was a good one, Bella mused. Dressed in jeans and a scruffy jumper, he looked like any other guy in any other café, chatting over coffee as he thickly buttered his toast.
‘I know who it is,’ Bella insisted. ‘If I owned a house, I’d bet on it.’
‘I’m with you.’ Detective Miller shrugged. ‘I don’t doubt you’re right, but at the end of the day, the evidence we’ve got won’t stand up in court. We need something more solid if we want to get a conviction.’
‘Like?’
‘Caught red-handed springs to mind.’
‘But I’m off after today. I’m not due back till Saturday night.’
‘No chance of doing an extra shift?’
‘I’d be happy to, but I’ve already been warned I’m doing too much. There’s no way I can squeeze in another shift.’
‘Even if Admin arranged it?’
Bella shook her head. ‘It would look too suspicious. Who’s going to watch the drugs while I’m not there?’
‘Leave that for me to sort out, I’ll have a word with the nursing coordinator. Hell, even if we have to get the drug room painted tomorrow by a couple of detectives, I’ll make damn sure that cupboard’s being watched.’ He glanced down at his watch. ‘You’d better get over there.’ He gestured to the hospital over the road. ‘If nothing goes down today, I’ll see you at the station tomorrow. I’m due in court later on so I doubt we’ll get a chance to meet up any time today—unless, of course, we get a result.’ He stared down at her fingers drumming onto the table. ‘Don’t look so a
nxious, Bella.’
‘This isn’t anxious.’ Bella gave a wry grin. ‘This is just me.’
‘Well, good luck. And one other thing, Bella.’ Leaning over the table, he spoke in very low but very clear tones. ‘Next time you decide to get up close and personal with a suspect, at least have the brains to think things through! You could have been sprung if Andy hadn’t been on the ball.’
Mortified, Bella closed her eyes and buried her face in her hand for a moment before peering out between her fingers.
‘I went for a drink. Emergency staff do it all the time. He didn’t have a car, it would have looked strange if I’d—’
‘I don’t want excuses, Bella,’ Detective Miller broke in. ‘I just want you to be careful out there. This could still prove dangerous!’
‘I know,’ Bella gulped, suitably chastised and mentally kicking herself for her own stupidity last night. ‘It won’t happen again.’
‘I never said you couldn’t go for a drink with the staff. Hell, Bella, I want you to fit in, I want you to act as naturally as possible. But just be careful. Think things through before you act, that’s all I’m saying.’
Handover was incredibly fast as Hannah was anxious to get home to take her husband to a hospital appointment and Jayne was keen to get the day started and hopefully squeeze in a bit of staff training along the way, but she took her time to explain carefully about the single patient in Resus, Darcy Mendleson, a nine-month-old presenting with a query febrile convulsion. Heath was in there and not quite happy with his own very tentative diagnosis, sure that the mother, despite gentle questioning and vehement denials, was covering something up.
‘Have we rung DOCS?’ Jayne asked, checking whether the Department of Community Services had been contacted—the first port of call when a suspicion of child abuse was raised. They were the ones who had to ask the difficult questions…
‘Heath has.’ Hannah nodded. ‘They’re going to send a team over, but I doubt it will be much before nine.’
‘Right.’ Jayne looked around at the assembled staff as Hannah gratefully scrambled away. ‘Does anybody have any preferences where they go?’
Only Bella put up her hand. ‘Could I do Resus again, please, Jayne?’
‘Haven’t you had enough yet?’
Lying through her teeth, Bella managed a ‘no’. ‘It’s been good experience. I feel as if I’m almost up to date with all the new equipment.’
‘Well, fine by me,’ Jayne said briskly. ‘But before you go, Bella, next time you have an issue with one of the ancillary staff, would you mind letting me deal with it instead of bawling them out in the corridor? We value our domestic staff in this department, they’re as much a part of the team as the doctors and nurses are, and attempting to pull rank doesn’t impress anyone.’
Cheeks burning, Bella managed a nod.
‘Tony doesn’t just have Emergency to clean, he’s got the outpatients corridor and Pharmacy to deal with as well, so bear that in mind next time you need a box of tissues! He’s also put his hand up for an extra shift on Saturday night because no one else wants to do it and, frankly, if that’s how the domestic staff are spoken to, I’m not that surprised no one wants to work down here. Now, normally I’d be having this conversation behind closed doors in my office but, given that you chose to reprimand Tony in full view of any passer-by, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to do it here. Not very nice, is it?’
Bella would have loved nothing more than to answer back, to tell Jayne exactly what she thought, but instead she had to swallow her pride and stammer out an apology, before heading off to check on her one single, very small patient before checking and rechecking all the equipment, wishing she was anywhere other than in the same room as Heath as he scribbled up some notes on the baby, the silence deafening, the atmosphere so appallingly tense you could have cut it with a knife.
‘Have the paeds answered their pager yet, Sister?’ Heath asked, clearly having decided things would be strictly professional between them, not even looking up as Bella checked the baby’s vitals. As the wall phone trilled, she was saved from answering.
‘They’re stuck on the ward,’ Heath sighed, hanging up the receiver and heading back to the babe. ‘What are his obs doing?’
‘His temp’s still a bit on the high side—thirty-seven point nine.’
‘That’s what it was when he came in,’ Heath said grimly. ‘I’m not entirely happy this is a straightforward febrile convulsion. You’d expect his temperature to have been through the roof. I’m just not happy with him.’
Bella didn’t like that voice, didn’t like that slightly pensive shift when a very senior doctor looked at a seemingly stable patient.
Embarrassment and differences pushed aside, Bella looked at him properly for the first time since coming into the room.
‘What do you think’s going on?’
‘I don’t know,’ Heath admitted. ‘He’s had a cold for a couple of days. Apart from that, he’s been OK. Mum woke up at six this morning, heard him making a funny sound and found him convulsing. She called the paramedics but he’d stopped fitting by the time they got there and was crying.’ He was relaying the story as much for his own benefit as hers, going over and over the puzzle of diagnosis to see if anything had been missed.
‘Any more convulsions?’ Bella asked, and Heath shook his head.
‘He was slightly drowsy on arrival but still appropriate for a nine-month-old. After that he fell asleep, which is normal after a fit. His ears are a bit pink, throat’s clear, bloods all pretty normal.’
‘So what doesn’t sit right?’
‘His temperature for starters, though I guess he could have cooled down by the time he got here. But febrile convulsion patients are normally flushed and irritable…’ He stared down at the baby, picking up a little fat hand as he did so and holding it.
‘There’s not a mark on him.’
‘Are you thinking this could be non-accidental?’
‘I’m starting to,’ Heath admitted. ‘It just doesn’t add up.’
‘Where’s Mum?’
‘Ringing her boyfriend. He’d just left for work when all this happened. He delivers for the local baker or something. She’s having a hell of a time getting hold of him.’
‘So this all happened after he left for work?’
Heath nodded then grimly headed for the telephone. ‘I’m going to try and organize a head CT, though I don’t fancy my chances.’
His hunch proved right.
‘They’re backed up.’
‘Already?’
‘The neuro ward’s got a patient in there and ICU’s got one waiting. A conscious baby and a doctor with a hunch isn’t going to hurry things along.’
‘Speak to the mum,’ Bella urged.
‘I already have.’ Heath ran an exasperated hand through his hair. ‘I can’t just confront her, not without going through the proper channels. I’ll ring DOCS.’
‘Which will take for ever,’ Bella needlessly pointed out.
‘I can’t just wade in and accuse her. It isn’t done like that any more. And without the Department of Community Services or the police, I’m not even supposed to mention it.’
‘How is he?’ A thin, nervous-looking woman entered Resus, anxious eyes swinging between Bella and Heath, her face pale apart from a splash of lipstick and some crudely applied blusher.
‘Hi, Rose,’ Heath answered as Bella’s eyes took in every flicker of the woman’s reaction. ‘He’s much the same.’
‘That’s good, isn’t it?’
‘Not necessarily.’ Bella’s voice had a slightly shrill ring to it and she was vaguely aware of Heath tensing beside her, clearly unused to any nurse speaking in such a way, but her eyes were firmly on Darcy’s mother. ‘We need you to go through the morning’s events again.’
‘I’ve already explained what happened,’ Rose answered, walking over to the cot and taking her baby’s hand. ‘I’ve told the doctor.’
‘It’s important
that we go through it again,’ Bella responded, ‘just in case we’ve missed something.’
‘I’ve told you everything. Keith left for work, I was half-awake, I suppose, when I heard a sound.’
‘What sort of sound?’ Bella checked.
‘A cry.’ Rose shrugged. ‘A wail. I just knew it didn’t sound right.’
‘So what did you do?’
‘I went in.’ Rose’s eyes were brimming with tears. ‘Do I really have to go through all this again?’
‘Could I have a word, Sister?’ Heath’s request left absolutely no room for negotiation and Bella had no choice but to excuse herself and step outside. The livid face that greeted her wasn’t exactly welcoming. ‘Just what the hell do you think you’re doing in there?’
‘I’m trying to find out what happened,’ Bella answered hotly.
‘Not like that, Bella. You don’t just wade in and practically accuse someone.’ Heath’s voice had a warning note but Bella couldn’t have cared less.
‘She’s hiding something and you know it as well as I do. If we wait, if we go through the so-called correct channels, then that little baby could end up with brain damage if he hasn’t already got it.’
‘Do you think I don’t know that?’ Heath responded. ‘Do you think I don’t want to go in there and demand the truth? But we can’t, Bella.’
‘Just watch me.’ Bella glared. ‘Or wait outside, if you have to. The fact of the matter is that unless we get to the bottom of this quickly, that baby could be in serious trouble, and if my nursing registration is the price I pay then so be it.’
And if she sounded like a bitch, she didn’t care. Four years on the police force had hardened her enough and this softly-softly approach had gone on long enough. She’d told Detective Miller that she wouldn’t compromise patient care and she had meant it.
Undercover at City Hospital Page 7