‘Really? So was my husband. Perhaps you know him? He’s a solicitor. Philip Brandon?’
Lissa did not at first associate this rather sad woman with the one-time owner of her own gracious home. Elvira Fraser, locked in her own confused world but still clinging to a fragment of that indomitable spirit, struggled to make the connection.
‘Brandon? Do I know you?’ The faded grey eyes focused a moment as if struggling to capture a wayward memory, but as quickly became blank again, the effort too much. The next instant she spoke in a loud sharp voice that made Lissa jump. ‘I won’t stay here a moment longer.’
She leaned forward to speak in a loud confidential whisper. ‘The people here steal my things, don’t you know? Taken my bank book and savings certificates, every one. But I’ll find them.’
Lissa was so troubled by this outburst that she called over a nurse.
‘Don’t worry, Mrs Brandon. Mrs Fraser is easily upset. Tomorrow it might be her slippers or her liberty bodice that she’ll claim has been stolen.’ A lowering of the voice. ‘The poor lady gets very confused.’ Smiling cheerfully, the nurse went on her way.
Lissa flicked an uncertain smile at Elvira and prepared to do her best. ‘I’m sure you will find your bank book soon. Philip likes to have things tidy too.’.
‘You know him?’
‘Who?’
‘Philip.’
‘He’s my husband. Didn’t I say?’
Irritation flashed. ‘No, Charles. My husband is called Charles. When he arrives he’ll sort this muddle out. Never stands any nonsense, doesn’t my darling Charles. He’ll take me home. I’m not staying here.’
‘Of course he will.’ This was the craziest conversation Lissa had ever experienced. Yet she’d taken a liking to the old lady, the way she kept her shoulders square with a certain regal air, dignity in her bearing for all the obvious disability of a recent stroke. Here was a woman who must once have been a beauty, with a position in the world and proud of it.
‘I have a lovely house, don’t you know?’ Elvira said, in a rare moment of clarity. ‘On the Parade.’
‘Mrs Fraser, of course. I hadn’t made the connection.’ Lissa was delighted. ‘I believe we bought it off you.’
The old lady glared fiercely. ‘Bought it? Nonsense. I’m going home soon. How can they sell my house? It’s mine.’
Lissa stroked the old lady’s hand, filled with compassion. ‘You must have been sorry to leave it.’
‘I haven’t left it. Call that silly maid to bring us lunch. We’ll have salmon. I love salmon, and sherry trifle to follow.’
‘Did you live there for a long time?’ Lissa interrupted, trying to keep her in the present.
‘Live where?’
‘In your house on the Parade?’
‘I’m here now, aren’t I? Silly child. Lived here all my life. Born here. Father would never hear of my leaving it. Certainly not now that I’ve married my darling Charles.’ She smiled, as if she were an excited young bride.
How terribly sad, Lissa thought, moved almost to tears by the blank confusion in the old lady’s eyes.
Elvira suddenly grasped Lissa’s hand in a fierce grip. ‘Wait for Charles. He’ll sort this muddle out. No money indeed! He left me plenty of money. They come in the night and take my things. Won’t stand any nonsense, my darling Charles. He’s in the war, you know. He’ll be home soon, when it’s over.’ And she was off again, round and round the same senseless conversation. Lissa exchanged sad glances with the nurse who hurried back, offering lunch and Mrs Fraser’s favourite bread pudding.
Lissa said her goodbyes and left, wondering if she’d been at all successful in her visit and thinking that perhaps voluntary work was not her thing, after all.
It was when she was coming out of The Birches that she ran into Stella Stevens.
‘How fortuitous, I was only just thinking about you the other day,’ Miss Stevens said. ‘What on earth are you doing here?’
Lissa told her and Stella shook her head sadly. ‘I remember Elvira Fraser. We were in the WVS together during the war. I call in to see her myself every now and then, to try to cheer her. Poor old soul. Had a terrible stroke, you know.’ Then, brightening, she took Lissa’s arm. ‘Come along, let me buy you lunch.’
‘Oh, there’s really no need…’
‘There’s every need, I wish to talk to you.’
How could she resist? Besides, Philip wouldn’t be home for an hour or more yet. She had plenty of time. ‘Lunch sounds good.’
‘Splendid.’ Miss Stevens took her to a charming little cafe on Carndale Road which still had lace tablecloths on polished mahogany tables, instead of the newly popular Formica. They ordered ham salad and a pot of tea.
Stella at once adopted a businesslike pose. ‘Now, are you still interested in the shop? I rather expected you to call back.’
Lissa flushed. ‘I thought it would be a waste of time.’
‘Good heavens, girl, you’ll need more stamina than that if you are to be a successful businesswoman. As you can see, it remains empty, but I now have a serious offer for it. However, I wished to give you first refusal.’
‘Oh.’ Lissa’s attention sharpened and she felt that familiar buzz of excitement.
‘If you really want it, I see no reason why we couldn’t come to terms.’
‘That would be wonderful. Thank you.’ Happiness shone from Lissa’s face and the transformation almost took Stella’s breath away. Then a cloud darkened the heart-shaped face and the brilliance instantly faded. ‘Would there be much in the way of legal documentation? It’s only that I’ve no wish to involve Philip - at this stage – until…’
Miss Stevens gave a polite cough. ‘I prefer not to discuss the state of your marriage, Lissa, though, as you will appreciate, I have given your problem a good deal of thought. You once saved my life. Had you not discovered me that day senseless in the stock room, who knows what might have been the outcome?’
The waitress arrived with their salads and they were both able to cover their respective embarrassment with passing salt and salad cream.
‘I appreciate the fact that you did not broadcast the reason for my indisposition on that occasion. The hospital realised, of course, but no one else seems to know. Which is a great relief. I’m quite over that now,’ she hastily added. ‘Never touch the stuff. No more trouble with my stomach necessitating Milk of Magnesia bottles.’ A wry smile, to which Lissa responded, understanding perfectly.
‘I’m so glad.’
‘You gave me a second chance, so I think I owe you one. Take the shop. Do with it what you will. But make it a good business. Give it your all.’
Lissa was thrilled. ‘Oh, I will. I will.’ She could hardly believe it.
When she’d set out today on an act of charity, she’d never guessed that someone would do the same favour for her. Now she could begin to build a future for herself and later, if life with Philip became too much of a strain, she could turn the two rooms above the shop into a small flat for herself and the girls. Lissa’s head buzzed with ideas and her smile turned into one of beaming delight.
Stella Stevens, a shy woman with few friends, was nonetheless an astute judge of character and resolutely set her own misgivings aside as she watched the expressions of joy flit across the girl’s enchanting face, as if she’d been given the whole world.
‘I’ll never forget this. Thank you so much,’ Lissa said.
Clearing her throat and paying excessive attention to her ham, Stella felt quite moved. But she judged it best to bring Lissa down to earth. ‘I’ve no wish to pry into your plans, but in view of your other - um, confidences, may I point out that you will need money to set up a shop? People never realise quite how much. There’s stock and new fittings, and decoration will be considerable. Then there’ll presumably be wages for an assistant, electricity and advertising, rent and rates, and working capital is vital. It will take some time before you move into profit. Can you manage all of that, without your hus
band’s assistance?’
Lissa smiled. ‘As a matter of fact I can. It was a gift from my grandfather. Not a fortune by any means but enough, I believe, and I’ve added more to it over the years. I was told to save it for a rainy day.’ The smile changed to a grin. ‘It’s rained quite a lot recently.’
Stella sipped quietly at her tea, then set down the cup with a decisive click. ‘Taking everything into account I see no reason why you shouldn’t begin your little enterprise in an unofficial sort of way. So long as the rent is paid regularly I shall be perfectly happy. Later, once you are successful, which I’m sure you will be, we can settle all the legal niceties of leases and so on. You may even prefer to take on the freehold in time. We’ll see, shall we?’
‘Oh, I can’t tell you how grateful I am.’
Miss Stevens cleared her throat. ‘As to that other matter, think of your children. Do nothing hasty. Did you see your doctor?’
‘Yes.’
‘Ah, no good, eh?’
‘Not a lot.’
‘Lawyer then. Take some advice on the matter.’
Lissa bit on her lip and promised that she would certainly think about it.
She ran all the way home and arrived breathless but relieved to find that Philip had rung to say he would not be home for lunch. ‘Have the children eaten?’
‘Of course. It is after one.’ Nanny Sue sounded offended.
‘Then I shall take them out. Let’s get them ready. Come along, darlings, find your cardigans.’
Lissa ignored protests that the twins had not yet taken their afternoon nap, and, bubbling with happiness, grasped their small hands and marched them off. They giggled and skipped along with her, delighted to find Mummy in such a happy mood. They sang and laughed all the way through Fairfield Park, past the ducks on the lake and along Fossburn Street to Nab Cottage.
‘I’ve done it,’ she announced, the moment Renee opened the door.
‘What, left him?’
Lissa looked startled. ‘Not yet. No, I’ve taken the shop.’
‘Well, strike me down with a feather, I never thought you would.’ Renee’s mouth fell open as Lissa hugged her. ‘I’ve never seen you so full of yourself. Have you told himself? Has he agreed?’
A small silence.
‘Ah, like that, is it?’ Renee shrugged. ‘I’ve always been of the opinion that the less men know, the better. Time for a celebration then?’ She wore strawberry pink lipstick today and the bright mouth widened into a smile. ‘Shall I fetch the sherry?’ She grinned at the two smiling faces below her. ‘How about ice cream for you two? I just happen to have some in the freezer compartment of my fridge. So long as the door isn’t gummed up with ice.’ She laughed as the twins screamed their delight and galloped off into the kitchen. ‘Don’t stand on ceremony your two, do they?’
There was a choice between vanilla, strawberry or chocolate, and since a decision was quite impossible, a small amount of each was put in two dishes and the little girls sat happily on the back doorstep, eating.
‘They’ll be covered in the stuff soon.’
‘I know,’ laughed Lissa. ‘I’ll stick to Coca-Cola. Philip might smell alcohol on my breath.’
Renee brought two glasses and they sat at the small kitchen table, a plate of coconut cakes between them. Then going to the dresser Renee brought out a bottle of rum and added a dash to each fizzing glass. ‘It’s Jimmy’s really but he won’t mind us having a tot. Your husband won’t smell that little bit.’ She picked up a glass. ‘So what do we drink to? What’s this shop to be called?’
‘Good Lord,’ said Lissa, stunned. ‘I haven’t the first idea.’
Renee roared with laughter. ‘Well, there’s a good start. Here’s to it, anyway.’
The new incumbent of the budgie cage, bright green this time, bashed his bell and squawked joyously in the front parlour. Both girls laughed.
‘I’ll let him out in a bit. He likes a fly round. This one’s called Mickey.’
‘Hallo, Mickey. I’m glad you let him out,’ Lissa said. ‘I hate to think of a bird in a cage, like a prisoner.’ She went oddly silent, dipping her head to her glass.
They munched their way through several cakes, drank another Coca-Cola, though Lissa positively refused any more rum. Then they chewed over several ideas and Lissa rejected them all. The germ of an idea was growing in the back of her mind, perhaps it had always been there, waiting to be picked up, but she didn’t feel quite ready to bring it out into the open yet and examine it.
Renee frowned at her over the rim of her glass. ‘What did you mean when you said, not yet?’
‘Pardon?’
‘We’ve finished our ice cream, Mummy. Can we play in Renee’s garden?’
‘Course you can, Poppet. Go play at house in the shed.’
Squeals of delight, and more when Renee went to the under-stairs cupboard and brought out scarves and hats and bags in riotous colours. ‘Here you are, my pets, get dressed up and enjoy yourselves while your mum and I have a bit of a crack.’
‘Ooh, I want the pink one,’ cried Sarah. ‘You can have the blue hat, Beth.’
‘That Sarah, chippy little sprite. She’ll organise you all one day,’ laughed Renee, shaking her head as the two skipped happily away, small bottoms wriggling with self-importance.
She turned back to Lissa, eyes shrewd. ‘So, when I asked if you’d left him, why did you say “not yet”?’
Silence, which grew and lengthened. Lissa chewed on her lip and Renee quietly waited.
‘You’d feel better if you talked about it.’
‘Would I?’ Violet eyes like bruises in a pale face gazed into hers. Lissa knew, deep down, that although Renee might be right, she simply couldn’t. It was too private, too personal. ‘It’s just that I feel such a failure. You and Jimmy seem so well matched, so happy, always laughing and kissing, making love without a thought. While I...’ Then the question burst out, unbidden. ‘How do you know when you do it right?’
Lissa flushed deeply and Renee laughed. ‘When it feels good. There aren’t any rules. So long as you’re both happy in what you do.’
‘I see.’
‘You’re not?’
‘I don’t think either of us are.’ She manufactured a laugh. ‘Perhaps I was a silly romantic girl expecting too much. Philip is very kind to me.’
‘So long as you do what he says.’
The smile trembled a little and faded. ‘He never seems quite satisfied with my performance. As for my feelings... Oh, hell, I would so like to succeed in something.’
It all poured out then, her dashed hopes for a happy secure marriage, the way he controlled her every move, made all the decisions, liked to keep her at home, told her what to wear, how to clean, what to cook, how to think even. But she could say no more about the intimate side of her marriage.
‘Sometimes my brain goes numb with all his instructions.’
Renee quietly sipped her rum and Coke and listened. ‘So when?’ was all she said when Lissa finally fell silent, the tears mopped up, deep breaths taken. ‘And how?’
‘What?’
‘You can’t go on like this, Lissa. You have either to leave him or make him change his ways. I can see that wouldn’t be easy. Loving a man is good. Sex is good too, smashing with the right fella. Everyone deserves to be happy and treated well.’
Lissa was calm again. ‘I couldn’t really leave him. He’s good to me in so many ways. And there are the children to consider. They would miss him terribly.’
‘Children would rather have one happy parent than two unhappy ones. I’ll vouch for that. Mine drove each other crackers then took it out on me.’
‘Oh, Renee, how sad. Maybe I will pluck up the courage to leave him one day, who knows? One step at a time. I told Miss Stevens a little of my problem, no details, but she’ll keep my confidence. She says it will bring shame on my head if I divorce him.’ Lissa gave a bitter little laugh.
‘And happen worse if you don’t.’
Lissa squared her shoulders and looked Renee straight in the eye. ‘I don’t want him to know anything about this shop. Not yet. Not until it’s a success and I have some money coming in.’ Her eyes became distant, narrowing on some future plan. ‘Then we’ll see.’
Renee sipped her drink, reading Lissa’s faraway thoughts. ‘D’you think he’d let you keep them?’
Lissa frowned, not understanding. ‘Keep what?’
Renee jerked her head in the direction of the garden. ‘Them two. The lively duo. Would he give them up if you did leave him?’
Lissa looked stricken. ‘Oh God, I hadn’t thought, I mean... why shouldn’t he? I’m their mother?’
‘No reason,’ Renee put in hastily, thinking for a moment that Lissa was going to pass clean out. ‘You could move in here you know, any time.’ But Lissa shook her head.
‘No, you have a lodger.’
‘My Water Board man? He comes and goes. We have another room.’
Much as Lissa enjoyed Renee’s company and was glad of her support, the thought of sharing a house with her and the rapacious Jimmy did not appeal.
‘I saw an old lady today. The one who used to have our house. Poor thing has gone quite senile.’
Renee looked sympathetic. ‘My gran went that way. Loved the old so and so, I did, for all she was nutty as a fruit cake in the end.’ She blinked hard, batting her spiky eyelashes. ‘So what about this old dear?’
‘It was so sad. She kept on talking about her husband, long dead in the war, I’m afraid, whom she obviously adored and thought would arrive at any moment to carry her away. What romantics we women are.’ Lissa got up to glance out of the window. ‘I hope the children are all right.’
‘Course they are. Made you think about how you’d feel about giving up that grand house on the Parade, did she? Or growing old with a man you don’t love?’
Lissa gave a wry smile. ‘I didn’t say that I didn’t love Philip.’
‘But you don’t.’
‘No, I don’t. She made me think how fleeting life is. What little time we have. Troubled me a bit, actually.’ Lissa took a deep breath. ‘Anyway, Philip doesn’t ill treat me. If I can improve my life, win back some pride and self-esteem, I can cope well enough.’ She turned to Renee with a grin. ‘No more self-pity. It’s bad for me. What about this shop then? Shall I risk it?’
Wishing Water Page 26