by Mike Wech
“It’s on your credit card. On the table. Right here," she replied, holding up the card. "Relax, I’m Claire. I want to help you.”
She could tell I wanted to run. But her beauty was mesmerizing and her touch was calming. So I listened as she told me, “This is my gift. Or maybe it’s a curse because I know the other side of life. The angels and the demons. Sometimes the voices are confusing, because the path between life and death is narrow, and the road to God may go through hell, if you take the path Jesus took. But that’s how he won the war for us all.”
“I have no idea what you are talking about,” I said, mesmerized by her eyes.
“The voices, Eddie. All your voices in your head. One of them wants to bang me ‘til my eyeballs pop and one wants to listen and learn. Another one will distract you and two will come and take you where you shouldn’t go. Another takes all your frustration and throws it through a wall, until your hands bleed, while the other comes to feed off your desire. One offers answers to your problems, but only one voice is pure truth. The way, the truth and the life. You choose who you listen to, but they have power if you give it to them, and they can take control over you.”
“Demons?” I asked, feeling her words resonating in my chest.
“Yes. We all fall short of the Glory of God, but some use that to pull you into the pit. Be on guard, Eddie, the fight started already. And you can’t see how you’re getting hit.”
At that moment I was hit. Run over by the love train. I knew I wasn’t getting anywhere with the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. But what’s life if you don’t give it a shot, so I asked her, “You want to go get a drink? What’s a good place around here to party?"
“I don’t drink, Eddie,” she said, getting up.
With my last shot, I said, “Alright. You got a number. Can I call you?”
“No," she told me with a sincere heart. "I’m just passing through here. I have to go. Be careful of Ose. He’s the leader. The one strong enough to overtake you. But God is stronger, if you give your life back to him. Greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.”
As she finished saying that, she kissed my forehead. It was like warm rain covering me for this moment in peace, forgetting the cold winter night. By the time I snapped back to my senses, she was gone. I was left with a half eaten plate of meatloaf, and my primal urges, desiring satisfaction. Claire was right. There was a lot of noise in my head. And I wanted it to all quiet down. All I could think of was getting drunk to silence the voices.
The last few days are too weird. Too coincidental. Too contrived.
There’s got to be really big money behind this, and they know I’m on to them. Goth boy, this hot chick, the parade of mental patients and the Greek show. Somebody wants to break me down, and get inside my head. Make me think these things may be true.
Suspension of disbelief.
That’s the oldest Hollywood trick. You create a world that you believe in, then twist the truth, so no matter what you do it always seems real. That’s the power of believing in the story. She wants me to believe her story. That every moment of my life is part of this grand plan, and everyone and everything has a reason. That there’s a war for my soul and a battle between good and evil, but I’m the one who will draw the boundary lines.
We all draw different lines. Sometimes they intersect. Sometimes they don’t. We agree on forms of evil, but judge degrees of it, saying only the worst of humanity is truly bad. And everything along the grey lines is subject to opinion. These are the lines I constantly live on, crossing through intersections that lead down paths I barely remember. And at certain times, for unknown reasons, the grim reality of consequence decides to rear its ugly head at me, and force me to see what I’ve done. And I find myself staring at…
THE DEVIL.
It started innocent enough. I stopped at the corner market, to pick up that beer I needed so bad, and find a hotel nearby to crash. I wanted to kick back, watch TV and do some research. I wanted to check out those symbols I saw, translate the Greek on my recordings, and find out more about Uphir.
That was the plan. But as fate would have it, in stumbled Sandra and her friend Diana. I’m a sucker for a long, wool coat with thigh high boots. I got a thing for blondes, and a pair of drunken ones is a recipe for danger.
They came in giggling and they put on a show dancing around, singing, sloshing change on the counter, then knocking the contents out of their purses like a piñata. A helping hand was all it took to break the ice. Next thing I know I’m invited to their place around the corner to party. Who says no to that?
My scattered memory and this recording are my reminders of my night of triumph, mystery and ecstasy. Listen:
“It’s the Legacy of the Divine, by Marcetti.”
I remember Sandra saying that. I was sitting on a purple couch, in this trippy, sixties apartment, full of pinks and purples and bright colors that danced with the psychedelic music, creating this shagadelic Austin Powers vibe.
I was feeling a bit “randy” as Sandra stripped out of that wool coat revealing a skin-tight black dress. She kicked off those thigh high boots and started packing a bowl of sweet smelling sativa. That’s when I noticed those cards spread across the table, glowing with mesmerizing images.
“That artwork’s amazing. They seem life-like,” I told her.
“Because they are life,” Sandra answered. They hold the answers to life. Want me to do your reading.”
“Why not.” I told her.
I figured it was harmless enough. Sandra shuffled these beautiful tarot cards, and spread them face down on the table in front of me. Diana scampered around the apartment setting the mood. First, she turned on a black light above the table, then the lava lamp next to me, and finally, the piece de resistance, The Very Best of The Doors, began playing.
“Concentrate on the cards,” she told me as they came to life under the black light. The Egyptian face on the back of the cards looked hypnotic, with a thousand glowing eyes staring at me.
Sandra continued with her instruction. “When I ask you each question, you pick one card. Okay?” My first question is, ‘How do you feel about yourself now?’ Really think about that, then pick one card.”
“Be right back,” Diana said, as I tried to concentrate on the cards, while seeing her sultry body slip past me into the bedroom. Regaining my attention, I focused and chose a card.
“Don’t turn it over. It goes right here," Sandra told me. "Now. What do you want most at this very moment?”
That was easy. I’m thinking “the two of you,” as I ran my hand over the deck to her hand for a soft touch. I’m not sure if she picked up my vibe. She seemed serious about doing this reading. I chose my card carefully, trying to match her intensity.
“What are your fears? Concentrate on the question," Sandra instructed me as she moved her hands over the cards. "Let your intuition guide you. Which card speaks to you?”
“That one,” I answered, trying to feel the energy she said would guide me.
“Okay. Next question. What is going against you?”
By this time the room was filled with smoke, and I hit off the pipe, staring at Sandra’s long legs as she kicked them up on top of the table, getting comfortable and giving me a sneak peak at her hot, red panties.
“And finally, the last card. This determines your outcome,” she whispered softly and sensuously.
“My future?” I asked.
“The inevitable sequence of your life’s events,” she exclaimed, guiding me with her eyes.
As ‘Rider’s On The Storm’ surged through the room, and the lava lamp warmed up with seductive smiles of molten heat, I passed my hand slowly over the cards, feeling the heat of the black light shine off my purple hand. My fingers slowly crawled across the table, glowing with life and energy. It seemed like that card jumped out at me, sticking to my hand like two-sided tape on a Christmas present.
Looking down my cards had formed the shape of a cross. They l
ooked three dimensional, reaching out to me, calling my future. Sandra flipped the first one over, saying, “The Tower.”
What a wild image. It looked like something from the end of the world, a cosmic event from some sci-fi movie.
“What does it mean?” I asked.
“The Tower means that you feel disruption in your life and you’re afraid that the change you are about to go through, will be catastrophic.”
“Yes,” I told her. “Strange things have been happening lately. And I can’t figure them out.”
“This will force new directions you never dreamed possible, Eddie. Your solution isn't what you expect. So be open to new realms of possibility. Let’s see what you want most," she said, turning the next card over.
“Oh! You chose The Lovers.” Her timing couldn’t have been any better. When she flipped that card, Diana entered wearing a long, black silk robe, tied loose enough to reveal a black-laced bra and panties underneath.
“Lovers,” Diana groaned, as she slipped in next to me on the purple couch and took a long hit off the pipe. “She’s good.”
“I see,” I replied, making the most of the opportunity by rubbing my hand along her leg, while dreaming of that cosmic intertwining of bodies that I saw on the card. Diana moaned and began singing along to Riders on The Storm, while Sandra continued my reading.
“It’s not about sex, Eddie," Sandra told me. "The lovers tell me what you really want right now is to know what choice to make. Stay where you are or take a risk?”
“Do you like taking risks Eddie,” Diana whispered into my ear. “Dare to live.”
Sandra crossed her legs back knowingly, revealing those red panties as she flipped the next card. Judgment.
“This is your fear. Judgment”
“Am I being judged?” I asked.
“No,” Sandra replied earnestly.
“Not by me,” Diana chimed in, working her hand across my leg softly, and then down to the table, to grab herself a beer.
Sandra continued, very focused, “What it means is that you’re afraid the conclusion you want is being delayed. You fear big changes ahead of you. Things aren't turning out the way you expected, for some reason.”
“Yeah. That’s kind of true,” I said.
“Well, we can change that,” Diana moaned, kissing my ear, bringing my attention to her. “What are you expecting?”
I tried to focus on the cards, but my mind was swimming in the possibility of expectation. What Sandra said made some sense as she continued.
“Your routine will be changed dramatically. Don’t be afraid. The choice you make will change your life for the better.”
“You sure?” I asked.
Something about Sandra seemed genuine. She had this innocent face. But I knew she wasn’t that innocent, so I probed, asking, “Did I tell you why I’m here? About my investigation in Uphir. At the secret mental institution. How they are testing missing death row prisoners.”
“No?” Sandra replied.
“You know where Uphir is? I asked.
“No. Never heard of it.”
“You?” I asked Diana.
“Nope. Sounds cool though, Diana responded. "Is it like Shutter Island?”
“I guess," I told her, noticing her hand on my thigh. "Some things happened there, and I don’t know if it’s safe to go back.”
“Total Shutter Island,” Diana laughed, taking another hit off the pipe, then blowing the smoke into my mouth sensuously. “You be careful.”
“We can see what you have going for you, Eddie, "Sandra told me. "This is your power card. Your intervention. The Emperor. That’s good. It means you’re self-assured. You’re capable of influencing people or events to achieve what you want.”
“What do you want?” Diana seductively asked.
“Other than you,” I joked.
“Yes,” she replied, to which Sandra added, “Your real desire. In your heart, not your pants.”
“To get this story," I told them.
“Good,” Sandra replied. “There’s a man of significance you should draw guidance from. He could be the key?”
“Who is it? Can you tell?”
“It might be a spiritual advisor or a teacher?” Sandra said.
“Like you,” Diana laughed, pointing to Sandra.
“No. This is a man. He might be a priest or a doctor.”
That aroused my interest more than the seductive touches of Diana. Could Sandra actually know something, or was she involved with Billings and Haworth? I needed to know. “Which one is it?” I asked.
“I can’t tell right now," Sandra said, moving toward the cards again. "We have to look at the next card. Maybe I’ll get something from that.”
“You worry too much,” Diana added, kicking her legs up on my lap. “Relax. Party a little. What’s the worst that can happen?”
“We’ll see,” Sandra said. She flipped the next card, instructing me, “This is what’s against you. The force or power that wants to stop your progress.”
The card turned over, slowly revealing a skull and an ax that seemed to cut right through me. I was speechless. The lava lamp made sinister faces at me, melting into my imagination. I felt like I was suffocating.
“You chose the Death Card, Eddie,” Sandra said without emotion.
“What’s it mean?” I asked, feeling my heart sink in my chest, constricting me.
“You’re so dead,” groaned Diana.
I remember looking at that card thinking, maybe I am going to die. What if it’s my time? I got up feeling dizzy. The card felt so alive as I held it in my hand. It was like that skull was reflecting my own face. My mortality. I felt like that horse could jump out any second and the rider would cut my head off like Ichabod Crane in Sleepy Hollow. I felt trapped in that room. Like I could die right there. It was silent for what seemed like eternity, before Diana started laughing wildly, blurting out, “I’m totally fucking with you!”
Sandra took the card from my hand and placed it back, saying. “It doesn’t mean you have to die, Eddie. The Death Card means something is coming to an end, but that brings a brand new beginning. It could be in your life. Or your career.”
“Or love life,” added Diana.
“Yes,” Sandra replied. “It could be the end of one relationship and the beginning of another. You ain’t married are you?”
“No.” I responded softly.
“But you got a girlfriend,” Sandra said convincingly.
“You’re the psychic, you tell me?” I said, trying to gauge her knowledge.
“There’s turmoil in your life Eddie. Anxiety, depression, fear, distressing events that are about to happen. The death card says ‘It's time to show what you are made of.’ You have to believe that life goes on, no matter what. Life is what you make of it. Believe that and you’ll get through to your dream. And that girl of yours. I wouldn’t trust her. Should she really trust you?”
“See, it ain’t serious. He’s ours,” Diana said, as she slid her hands down my chest. “Aren’t ya?”
“Sure,” I groaned letting her kiss me. She pulled her robe open and pushed her body softly against mine.
“You want to see how it ends. Are you ready for your outcome?" Sandra inquired.
At this point, what did I have to lose? I nodded okay and she flipped the last card, and there I was, staring at:
THE DEVIL
“Oh shit!” Diana yelled out.
“Shit what? Death and now the devil, what’s it mean? I cried out. "What’s it mean?”
“Relax, baby. You’ll be okay?" Diana consoled me, rubbing my thigh before directing her voice to Sandra, saying. "Tell him, sweetie. Tell him what the cards mean."
“This is your final opportunity to change direction, ” Sandra said.
“You mean go back home?” I asked.
Taking my hand and pulling me closer with every word, she said, “No, you have the Emperor. You have the ability to get everything you ever wanted. But temptation and ad
diction will ruin you if you let them overpower you. Don’t doubt your ability. Be confident and take what you want. And you can have everything your heart desires.”
By now, Sandra and I were face to face. Our lips only inches apart and our eyes locked together. Diana’s hands moved down my back and I could feel her breasts pressing against my back.
The music began to pulse in rhythms through me. Diana began to slide her body down me with each guitar note, making her way into my heart of darkness. I could feel her curves wrap into me, slicing through my resistance. Shaking with the tambourine, Sandra pulled me into her clutches. Her wet lips pushed into mine. Her tongue swirled in circles, beckoning my touch as the music spoke to me.
“This is the end, beautiful friend.
This is the end, my only friend the end.”
Jim Morrison’s haunting voice came back from the dead to fill my senses. The music was our rhythm, slow curving bodies rounding together as one in passionate embrace.
“Of our elaborate plans, the end.
Of everything that stands, the end.
No safety or surprise, the end.
I'll never look into your eyes...again.
Can you picture what will be,
So limitless and free...
It was like a movie, so perfect. So playful. So artful and delectable. Moans of pleasure escaped into the air, breath that could be seen taking form in the smoke, like creatures moving through the air, intertwining forms of love, lust and desire. My desires echoed in the music, which penetrated the air with truth.
“Desperately in need...of some...stranger's hand,
In a...desperate land.”
Colors flashed in the pounding of the drums, of newly naked bodies, turning from passionate to primitive. Guttural groans of the deepest pleasure emanated from me. I was the Emperor. I was the King. I was in control, in command. And I felt that power surging through me like I was invincible. Incredible. Unstoppable!