“You make it sound so impressive.”
“You are impressive.” Megan nudged my arm. “No wonder he likes you.”
“Does everyone know…?”
Megan shook her head. “No. I’ve only heard muttering from the people that saw him snap at the security guard who was giving you a hard time yesterday. But it’s just speculation. I don’t know what you’re worried for though! As gorgeous as Max is—if I had anything going on with him, I’d probably get a t-shirt made, declaring it to the whole world!” She laughed.
“You are crazy, Megan! The policy though—I don’t want to risk my job.”
“Oh, stop it. Human Resources could care less about that handbook. Hell, if they opened it every once in a while themselves, maybe they’d be better at their own jobs. So stop worrying!”
I sighed, knowing she was right. No one would probably even notice our little affair, or even really care, for that matter. So I needed to just relax and enjoy it.
“Have you seen Max today, by the way?” I asked.
Megan wrinkled her brow. “Come to think of it, I haven’t.”
I pouted. He hadn’t said anything about taking the day off.
“He must have taken the day off. Maybe you wore him out.”
“Megan.” I slapped her arm, causing her to give another hearty laugh. She pulled away from the table. “Well, it’s time to report for duty.”
“Yeah,” I said, standing also. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Sure thing,” she said, throwing away her pop-tart wrapper and heading out the door. I left shortly afterwards, deciding to head back to the on-call room to make a cup of tea as I waited for my help to be needed.
When I entered, a few nurses were inside—two making coffee and one watching the news on the television overhead. They all smiled and nodded at me as I came in.
“Slow day today, huh?” I said. It was unusual for there to ever be more than two people in the on-call room at any given moment.
“Yeah,” one of them responded. “Let’s hope it stays that way!”
“I hear you,” I said with a chuckle.
“Good job yesterday, by the way,” she said. “I heard you helped paramedics save a woman’s life, and you weren’t even officially on-duty.”
I waved my hand dismissively. “It was nothing. Just doing my job. The way I see it, when someone needs help, I’m always on-duty.”
“You should totally think about teaching nursing students. Or at least mentoring them,” one of the other nurses said.
I retrieved a tea bag and a mug. “Who knows.” I shrugged my shoulders. “Maybe one day.” I finished making my tea and then took a seat, using the down time to check my email, text messages, and voicemail to make sure I hadn’t missed anything. While I wanted to pretend I was looking for work-related messages, I was really checking to see if I had anything from Max. My heart sank a little upon seeing that he hadn’t called or messaged me at all.
Exasperated, I ran my hand through my hair, recalling the silky feel of his hair and how in contrasted to the rough stubble on his cheeks. I raised my cup to take a sip of my tea, wanting to hide any indication of how hot I felt at the thought of him.
“You used to work with Dr. Nehru, right?” one of the nurses suddenly asked.
I lowered my cup. “Yeah.” I leaned forward. “Have you heard from her lately?”
She shook her head. “No, I was going to ask if you had. Rumor has it that she may be transferring to another hospital, somewhere offering her more money.”
“Ahh,” I said, leaning back in my seat and feeling vaguely disappointed. Regardless of what was going on between me and Max, Dr. Nehru remained my favorite doctor to work with. I had learned so much from her. On the other hand, I knew she deserved to be properly compensated for her skills, so if the rumor was true, good for her.
“I never got a chance to work with her, but I heard she was a really good doctor. A lot of the staff seem bummed out about the possibility of her leaving.”
I nodded. “Yes. She was the best. I’ll be forever grateful for the time I got to work with her. She really taught me a lot about caring for patients, and being an advocate for the people we treat. Doctors like her are few and far between.”
Another one of the nurses sighed. “Looks like all the good doctors eventually move on. Nehru. Lewis. Coleman will probably be next.”
I almost dropped my teacup at the sound of Max’s name. My eyes widened. “Pardon? What was that about Lewis?”
“I heard he’s leaving too. Didn’t he find another hospital that’s offering him higher pay?”
“No, that’s not what I heard,” the nurse who’d been watching TV chimed in. “I heard from Lester that Dr. Lewis was getting tired of his military affiliation. You know, spending all those years as a soldier, and then becoming a military doctor. I heard he moving out of state and thinking about opening a private practice somewhere, leaving the military lifestyle behind all together. Can’t say I blame him. It’s tiring.”
There was more to the conversation, but I could no longer hear. My ears were practically ringing with shock. The tea had suddenly turned sour in my stomach. I set the cup down.
Max, leaving without telling me? He couldn’t. He wouldn’t…
The previous day, it felt like things had officially changed between us—like we had both decided to finally give in to the undeniable connection between us.
Or maybe he was just stringing me along, a voice in my head said. He got what he wanted, and now he’s free to go.
The thoughts created a bitter taste in my mouth, and I felt like my blood was literally starting to boil. It was a moment before I realized the other nurses were still talking to me.
“Kylie, are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” I said, though my voice came out harsh. I stood, recognizing the tale-tell stinging in my eyes indicating that angry tears were not far. “Excuse me.”
I bolted from the on-call room and headed straight for the women’s bathroom, were I locked myself in and stood before the mirror. My eyes swam with tears and my face looked a shade too pale.
I felt nothing but pity for the woman staring back at me. She just couldn’t stop getting hurt. She had ignored the signs that things had been moving too fast, and now she was going to pay the price.
In the little bit of time I’d known Max, strangely enough, it felt like he had already hurt me more than ever Troy had.
Annoyed, I stormed out of the bathroom. A slow day no longer seemed desirable. I needed to keep busy to keep myself from thinking about how badly I wanted to ring Max’s neck.
CHAPTER 18
Max
The last foster family I stayed with, the Valors, had been fairly decent. In fact, after the several rounds of hell I’d been through with the previous families, the Valors had practically been like The Brady Bunch. By the time I made it to their household though, I was already in my late teens, on the brink of adulthood. While the Valors had treated me kindly enough, I had always harbored resentment toward them and it took me the longest time to figure out why. Logically, I knew I should have been grateful to have finally ended up with a family who didn’t treat me like a second-class citizen. Yet, it wasn’t until I reached legal age that I realized my issue with the Valor family; I had simply resented them for not coming into my life sooner. I lamented about how my life could have been different had they been the first household I ended up with. I often wondered how much pain and suffering I could have potentially bypassed.
As I got older, I eventually learned to let go of the resentment and accepted that the Valor household was the only place I could somewhat call home. Whenever I got a break from the military, I wound up on the Valors’ doorstep. Yet, the military quickly began to change me. It got to the point that when I returned to visit the Valors, it felt like coming home to a place I truly didn’t belong to anymore despite my sense of loyalty to the only people who had actually treated me like family. I had simply chan
ged too much to fit into their world.
That was precisely how I felt when I returned to the night-shift. Entering the hospital during night hours felt like home, but it also felt like I didn’t entirely belong there anymore. The day shift had changed me—or more accurately, Kylie Hackett had changed me.
“Dr. Lewis, are you all right? You seem a little distracted tonight.”
“I’m fine,” I said to the nurse before me. Fiona was her name. She was nice, skilled, pretty—but no match for Kylie.
Stop it, I said to myself.
“Dr. Lewis!” I turned around, seeing another nurse running toward me, out of breath. “You’re needed to fill in for Dr. Hansel. We have a GSW. We have him stabilized, but you need to do the final assessment before surgery.”
I hurried off after him. He led me to a young man with a gunshot wound to the side that had broken a rib. When I got there, the other nurses and technicians stood around as if their job was done.
“He’s all set, Dr. Lewis,” one of them informed.
“Was a full-body examination conducted?” I asked.
They all paused to look at me. “His only injury was in his side and we’ve—”
“Standard procedure is to do a full body examination. You all should know that,” I said, feeling mildly agitated. They all muttered awkwardly around me, apologizing as I finished the examination and then sent out a request to get the patient to roll up for surgery.
Fiona stayed behind to help me organize the patient’s files and waited to accompany me in updating his family.
“Are you sure you’re feeling all right, Dr. Lewis? I can tell something is up.”
“Do you know Nurse Hackett, Fiona?”
She titled her head to the side and glanced up at the ceiling. “The name sort of rings a bell…”
“Kylie,” I said. “That’s her first name.”
“Kylie Hackett… Oh! Is that the one who just saved that woman a couple days ago? Rode in the ambulance with her, administering CPR?”
“Yes.”
Fiona nodded. “Yes, I’ve seen her a couple times. She’s really pretty, and a damned good nurse from what I’ve heard. I don’t know much about her though. I think she only works the day shift. Why do you ask?”
I stared at Fiona for an instant, no longer sure why I had asked. What did I expect? For someone to fill me in on Kylie’s whole life story? For someone to let me know if she had serious boyfriends in the past and whether I stood a chance with her, or if I was nothing more than a passing fling?
I shook my head. “Never mind. No reason.”
Fiona narrowed her eyes suspiciously, but didn’t push it. She knew me well enough not to.
Naturally, for the rest of my shift, I hadn’t been able to get Kylie out of my head. It occurred to me once and for all that walking away from her just didn’t seem like a viable option, no matter how much I wished it was. It wasn’t just physical, as it had been with so many others before her. Those, I had easily been able to walk away from afterwards without a fleeting thought. But Kylie—she had a hold on me that I just couldn’t shake no matter how much I wanted to.
I needed to see her again.
To be with her again.
Although I was so tired that I bordered on the point of delirium, I decided to stick around until the day shift came in so that I could see Kylie. I didn’t know what I planned to say to her, but I knew I wouldn’t be satisfied until I saw her face. If I didn’t see those baby blue eyes of hers, I thought I might go crazy.
But as the day shift continued to roll in, Kylie wasn’t amongst them. I watched the steady shift of doctors, nurses, technicians, and interns. Each time someone entered the hospital, my heart gave a hopeful leap, only to be disappointed again when each face I saw did not match the one I was craving to see.
Nearly an hour after the day shift began and unsuccessfully dodging questions regarding why I was still there, I decided there was no use in sticking around. So I left with another plan brewing in my mind.
CHAPTER 19
Kylie
I knew I shouldn’t have taken another day off from work, but I just couldn’t muster the energy to go in. I hated myself for feeling the way I did, but I couldn’t help it.
Lulu had entered my room for the third time this morning, clearly protesting the fact that I was lying around in a nearly comatose state.
“In a minute, Lulu,” I said, as she stood at the foot of my bed. After hearing this twice before already though, she wasn’t falling for it any more. She was ready for her morning run, and she let me know it by the loud and frustrated whine she gave me. Agitated, she began to pace the apartment, while I continued to lie in bed like a pathetic lovesick teenager.
I reminded myself time and time again that I hadn’t known Max Lewis for long and it made no logical sense for him have such an effect on me. It was embarrassing, especially knowing that he didn’t feel the same way. Here he was, leaving without even bothering to let me know he was moving. And in contrast, I was lying in bed, depressed and ignoring my dog.
Pathetic.
“Get a grip, Kylie,” I said out-loud to myself.
Lulu whined from the front of the apartment. I could hear her scratching at the door, ready to take herself for a walk if she had to.
“Okay, girl. I’m coming.” Finally, I propelled myself out of the bed and headed to the bathroom to tie my hair back, brush my teeth, and put on some sweats so that I could take Lulu out before returning to retire on my couch for the day.
Right as I was brushing my teeth, the doorbell rang.
Lulu barked.
“Who in the hell?” I muttered, annoyed. I returned my toothbrush to the bathroom cabinet and rinsed my mouth before rushing to the door, almost tripping on Lulu along the way.
I peered out the peephole and my heart almost stopped.
Dr. Max Lewis stood there, staring hopefully at the door with a single red rose in his hand.
Shit.
I looked down at my raggedy old pajamas that consisted of an old college t-shirt and faded plaid shorts.
Meanwhile, Lulu continued barking and scratching at the door, wondering what was taking me so long to answer.
Max frowned, and I watched as he took several tentative steps backwards, obviously thinking I wasn’t home.
I hesitantly unlocked the door. By the time I poked my head out, Max had been heading down the hall.
“What are you doing here?”
He turned around and came to a halt. “Kylie.” He ran a hand through that dark silky mane of hair on his head. “I wanted to see you,” he said, coming back to my door and handing me the rose. Lulu, wagging her tail like crazy, stood on her hind legs and placed her front paws on him. He smiled and pat the top of her head. “Can I come in?” he asked after a moment.
“Sure…” I said.
I took a deep breath, various emotions rolling through me. I’d initially been shocked to see him at my apartment door unannounced, and flattered by the beautiful rose. But then my frustration returned, recalling that he hadn’t bothered to tell me he was leaving our hospital.
I looked down at the rose in my hand, wondering if it was meant as a feeble peace offering for a silly lovesick girl who needed to be let down gently. I gripped the stem too tightly, accidently pricking my finger on a thorn.
As Max entered my apartment, I slammed the door a little harder than I meant to. “Be right back,” I said rather harshly as I headed to the kitchen to put the rose in a vase of water.
When I returned to the front of the apartment, Max still stood by the door. His hands were stuffed in his pockets and he looked somewhat nervous. Lulu danced around him, and he occasionally reached down to pat her head.
“What do you want, Max?” I said, crossing my arms over my chest. “I have things to do.”
He raised his eyebrows, perhaps surprised by my angry tone. “Sorry,” he said. “It’s just—when you didn’t show up for work, I was worried.”
“Wh
at do you care about me not showing up at work for? You didn’t show up yesterday.”
“I did—”
“No, you didn’t. I looked all over for you.”
“I did go to work. I went last night. I returned to the night shift.”
I paused. “Oh,” I said. “Well…still, what are you doing here? I’m busy. I have to take Lulu for her run.”
“Can I come with you?”
I headed to the back of the apartment to retrieve Lulu’s leash without answering. Lulu raced behind me, unable to hide her excitement about finally going out after asking for hours on end.
“Are you going in your pajamas?” Max asked.
I swore under my breath. His presence had disoriented me so that I had suddenly forgotten I was barefoot and still in my pajamas. I heard him chuckle. I turned around, seeing that he had followed Lulu and me.
“Max, I really don’t understand why you’re here. What the hell do you want?”
His laughter quickly stopped and his brow lowered. For a brief instant, I almost felt guilty for hurting his feelings. But then I remembered how much he had hurt my feelings in leaving the hospital without telling me, as if the time we’d spent together meant absolutely nothing to him. And to add insult to the injury, he was here now, attempting to make light of the situation, thinking that he could just give me a rose and all would be forgiven.
“Is it wrong that I just wanted to see you?” he said. “I’m half delirious and desperately need to get some sleep, but I had to see you first.”
“Well, you see me now. I’m still alive and well. So you can go now.”
He sighed. “Kylie, did something happen?”
“You tell me.”
He raised his eyebrows, confused. “Are you angry with me? Did I do something? I thought the other night was incredible, but I’m getting the impression you don’t want to repeat it.”
I pursed my lips into a tight line, knowing that if I didn’t take a moment before responding, the onslaught of words leaving my mouth would be far from ladylike. Hell yes, I wanted to repeat the other night, letting him screw me senseless again. But not before he told me the truth.
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