“And if you’re wrong?” he asked.
“Then we’ll know soon enough,” I answered. “If she does go after Alan and Susan, I’ll handle it. But only with the right information. Rushing into things isn’t the way to go. Believe me, I’ve done that before. It ends badly for everyone involved.”
Cory grunted. “I get what you’re saying. You really think she won’t go after them? This chick sounds crazy to me, like certified. I doubt she’s thinking rationally”
“There’s no telling what she’ll do,” I admitted. “But I think this is the safest option for us to take. Rushing into things half-cocked will get people killed,” I said again.
“So we just wait? How can you be so calm right now?”
“Because I’ve been through this before. I know that worrying won’t fix anything. Only time will tell if this is the right call or not. No use worrying about it now. I don’t know what you guys are going to do, but I’m going to take a nap. I feel like I got hit by a truck.”
“You look like you got hit by a truck,” Ezra said, not unkindly. “We’ll wake you if anything happens. Get some sleep, Ronnie.”
I gave them all a tired, half-assed wave, with a mumbled, “Thanks, guys.” Finn walked along beside me, not quite touching me. “Be honest,” I said, eyeing him. “How awful do I look right now?”
“You look like a zombie,” he answered immediately, no hint of teasing in his voice. It was the honest truth, and I had asked for it.
“So I look like a decomposing, rotting corpse?” I laughed. “Thanks, I love you, too.”
He put his hand at my back, nice and warm and comforting. His constant presence was enough to keep me going, even when I might not want to. After being here for so long, this place was finally my home, and I had my wonderful friends to thank for that, but most of all, it was because of Finn.
We came to my door, and I paused, hand on the door knob. A flood of memories came back to me, bearing down on me like a tidal wave. They flashed through my mind unbidden—my hand on the knife, Finn’s blood on my hands, the look on his face as the blade sliced through his skin, and the feeling of that same blade in my throat. They were Tabitha’s crimes, but I was left with the memory of it.
“Are you okay?” Finn asked quietly. His eyes were darker than usual, full of worry and helplessness.
I took a deep breath. Was I okay? The atrocious acts that had been committed against my friends were gruesome, and I had been witness to them all. But more than that, I had been helpless to prevent it. That feeling of total helplessness was terrifying. Knowing that they were in danger, knowing they could be killed and taken from me for good…and knowing there was nothing I could do to help them…it was excruciating and enough to drive anyone crazy.
“I hurt you…”
His hand moved up to my shoulder, and he squeezed gently. “You have to let it all go. We know it wasn’t you. Nobody here blames you one bit, except for you. You think that if you had just fought harder, or been stronger, this wouldn’t have happened. And that’s not true. Ronnie, nothing could have prevented this. She was too powerful and her hatred was too strong. She fights dirty, and you don’t have it in you to lower yourself to her level.”
“But I do,” I said, my voice cracking. A shiver went down my spine at the thought of the way it felt to tap into that dark power—power that was so much like Tabitha’s. “I know what she feels when she uses her power. That strength, that exhilaration…I’ve experienced it, same as her. It was a wonderful feeling in that moment. So seductive, so alluring. I could myself being drawn to it in the end.”
Tears stung my eyes, and I wiped them away furiously with the back of my hand. “I don’t want to end up like Tabitha,” I said so quietly Finn wouldn’t have even caught it if he weren’t a werewolf.
He forced me to look up at him. “You will never be like her. Look at everything you’ve been through, yet you’ve still come out on the side of good. If nothing that’s happened has swayed you yet, you’ll be fine.”
“I wish I believed in myself as much as you guys do. But you guys don’t fully understand—except Ezra. You don’t know what it’s like to be scared of what’s lurking deep inside of you. You have a temper that makes you lash out at those around you, but there’s nothing growing inside of you, trying to take over who you are as a person.”
“You’re right,” he said, surprising me. “I don’t know what it’s like to constantly fight to stay good, but I’ve been by your side through your whole fight, and I’m not going anywhere. You’ll always have me to lean on for support, to set you straight.”
“Promise?” I asked, hating that I sounded like a scared child.
“I promise,” he said, meeting my eyes. He was so honest—so earnest—that I couldn’t help but believe him. His words soothed the fear inside of me, but it was probably a temporary solution. I had been feeling better since taking a hard look at myself, but the doubts were slowly creeping back in, and they just wouldn’t shut up. And they probably never would. It would be something I lived with for eternity—a vile corruption of something that already naturally leaned more toward the dark.
But mom was good…
The thought surprised me. I had mostly tried to avoid thinking about her for fear that the pain would push me even further toward being like Tabitha. But it was the truth. My mother was pure and good as could be—and I was a part of her. That meant I was equal parts bad and good. It all depended on what I chose to be.
Finn was still watching me, still and silent, waiting for me to do or say something.
I turned the knob, refusing to let something as small and insignificant as a room deter me from getting some much needed rest.
I was expecting a scene out of a horror movie—ties, blood splattered walls, knives still covered with Finn’s blood, and blood soaked carpets. But the room was clean, and you never would have known a torturous hour had recently taken place. The carpets had obviously been vigorously shampooed, because all that remained was a large stain that was darker than the surrounding carpet. Finn stared at the spot for a second, until he closed his eyes, shook his head, and looked at me.
“Do you want me to leave?”
“Do you really have to ask?”
He smiled and hopped onto the bed, kicking his shoes off before stretching out, taking up most of the small bed. There was just enough room for me to curl up in Finn’s arms. I kicked my shoes off, took off my dirty outer shirt, leaving the white camisole beneath. I hadn’t been able to shower in days, and I probably smelled horrendous, but Finn didn’t seem to mind.
Turning around, I was unsurprised to find Finn’s eyes watching me in the dark. I slid into bed beside him and his arm pulled me closer, his hand resting on my stomach. I tried to leave my insecurities at the door—flat chested and an un-flat stomach—but I couldn’t stop thinking about them. It wasn’t until Finn kissed my neck that I felt myself begin to relax.
A light thud from under the bed startled me, causing Finn to tense up. He inhaled deeply, searching for a scent he recognized. When he relaxed, I felt my heart stop racing, but I was still wary. When Two Socks crept out from under the bed and climbed up beside my face, I almost squealed with joy.
He butted his head against mine, purring softly. That familiar chirp brought me a feeling of joy I hadn’t felt in so long. I pulled him closer, stroking him from head to tail. He was so happy to see me—and Finn was so happy for me—that they didn’t even growl at one another.
Two Socks curled up beside my head, hogging the pillow like usual. Despite having been in bed for days, I felt like I hadn’t slept in months. And there, in the darkness, listening to Two Socks’ purring and Finn’s deep breathing, I fell asleep. Everything else would have to wait.
*****
When I woke up early the next morning, Finn was still sleeping beside me, snoring softly. I moved his hand, which was still wrapped around my waist, and climbed out of bed, careful not to disturb him. As I crept through my room and
made my way to the dresser, he shifted but didn’t wake. The drawer squeaked as I pulled it open, and I winced.
“What’s up?” Finn asked in a husky, sleepy voice.
“Nothing. I’m just getting dressed. You can go back to sleep if you want.”
“I’m already up.”
“Well then cover your eyes so I can get dressed.”
“You don’t even have the light on,” he objected.
“And you don’t need the light to see,” I said with a smile. “Now cover your eyes.”
“Dammit,” he grumbled, shifting under the covers until his head disappeared from view.
I dressed quickly, picking a pair of worn jeans and a loose t-shirt that would let me move freely incase we got any news on Tabitha, and I paired it with a pair of black boots that were easy enough to run in and could do a bit of damage with a well-placed kick. When I was dressed, I walked over toward the door and flicked on the light, blinking away the white spots in my vision at the sudden brightness.
Finn groaned. “Turn it off.”
“Get up you big baby,” I laughed. Turning toward the bed, I said, “We have a big day ahead of—”
“Ronnie?”
I had caught just a glimpse of myself in the floor-length mirror leaning against the wall, and it had startled me so much I couldn’t finish my last thought. I knew the last weeks had taken a serious toll on me and my health, but I had never imagined the damage would be this bad…or this obvious. But there it was, right in front of me, undeniable proof of the hardships I had faced.
My hair was dingy and stringy, looking lifeless, like it would fall out at any second. There were tiny patches where I could just make out the scalp underneath, like some of it had fallen out or dissolved away. My skin had a gray color to it, like I hadn’t seen the sun in months. It looked like it was hanging off the bone, like I had just lost a ton of weight due to some serious illness.
But the most startling change was my eyes. They were ringed with dark purple circles that were so bad they could have likely been bruises caused by getting punched in the face. They looked painful and swollen. The eyes themselves were another matter completely. They looked darker than usual, like there was no light or warmth in them. They were devoid of anything human.
I look like a corpse…
So this is what happens when a necromancer uses too much of their power. Annie was right, it really does change us.
Finn came up beside me. “What’s wrong?”
I closed my eyes, refusing to look at the monster in the mirror anymore. “Power has a price,” I said slowly, unsure if he would understand. “Everything that’s happened has taken its toll on me. What if I never get better? What if I’m like this for the rest of eternity? Could you love someone this hideous?”
He remained silent, as if he was wondering what would be a smart answer. Angrily, I turned on him. He was looking at me with a strange expression on his face, one I couldn’t place. His eyes weren’t narrowed like they usually were. Instead, his face was more open and softer than I had ever seen it before, like he was really pondering what he wanted to say.
“Ronnie, you’re more than just a pretty face. You’re a warrior. You’ve fought your way through some of the darkest places anyone could go. The things you’ve seen and done and experienced would break most people—but not you. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. You force me to be a better person just to keep up with you, and that is way more important to me than a pretty face.”
I honestly didn’t know what to say to that. My eyes started to burn with unshed tears, and I tried to think of anything to say after such a strong declaration. I wished I could see things the way Finn did; he always seemed so sure of what he was saying, like it should have been obvious to anyone else. And maybe it should have been, after all that I had been through. Maybe I should have been able to see that I was stronger than what I saw in the mirror. Finn was right.
I’m a warrior…
My cell phone vibrated, startling me as it rattled against the wooden dresser near my bed. Finn tossed it to me and I checked the caller ID, my heart sinking as I read the name on the display. It was Alan, at nearly four in the morning. Nothing good would come of this phone call, of that I was sure. The phone buzzed in my hand, and I took a deep breath, steeling just one more quick second before shit hit the fan.
I accepted the call.
“Ronnie?”
“Jessica?” My hand tightened on the phone until it creaked in my hand in protest. Her voice was high and shaky, like she had been crying. I could picture her face in my mind: her red cheeks, her trembling lip, and the snot running down her nose. “What’s wrong?”
“There’s a mean girl here. She says you have to come or she’ll hurt daddy.” She whimpered, as if she had been struck. “Come alone, or she’ll hurt daddy,” she said, correcting herself. It was obvious she was trying to recite something she had been told, and had gotten it wrong.
“Jessica, give the phone to the mean girl.”
I could hear muffled sounds while the phone was changing hands. “You heard her,” Beth said. Her voice was deeper and more monotonous than usual, probably due to Tabitha’s influence. “Come alone, or I’ll hurt her daddy and poor mommy will have to watch when I move on to the brat. No more guilt tripping me into protecting children, Ronnie. This is it, the final showdown.”
“I’ll be there. Please don’t hurt them, Tabitha. This is between you and me. It always was.”
“We’ll see,” she said. “Don’t keep me waiting.” The phone went dead, and there was nothing but the sound of my frantic breathing.
“She’s with Alan and Susan. I think she hurt Jessica. I should have just gone to them the second I woke up. Even if it had put them in danger, at least we would have been there to protect them. It’s all my fault they’re in danger now. Finn—”
“There’s nothing we can do about it now. We just have to make the best of this situation. At least now we know where Tabitha is, and she’s giving you a fair shot at ending this once and for all. A fight on equal footing, no more trickery and no more public displays.” His hand gripped my chin gently and he turned me to face him. “I’m ready for this if you are.”
Was I ready for this? I had been in the infirmary for almost four whole days after the exorcism, which hadn’t exactly been a walk in the park. Was I back to full power yet or did I need longer to recharge? I would just have to wait and find out, because I couldn’t leave Alan, Susan, and Jessica in Tabitha’s clutches. I needed to be strong for them now.
I took a deep breath. “Let’s get the others.”
Chapter Eighteen
Finn killed the headlights as he pulled onto my old street, passing several darkened houses and coasting to a stop as quietly as possible in the dark. Tabitha would no doubt be on guard after our short talk, but we didn’t want to advertise our arrival anymore than we had to. The plan was for Finn to get in there as quickly as possible, get Alan, Susan, and Jessica to safety, and to let me and Cory handle Beth and Tabitha.
Holly, Tanya, and Ezra hadn’t been happy at the thought of being left behind, but they agreed that too many people might confuse the situation and risk getting one of Tabitha’s hostages killed. They wouldn’t have been much help anyways, since none of them could banish a soul, and Holly would have actively been a threat if Tabitha turned her against us. After I pointed that out to them, they hadn’t been as angry about staying.
“Finn, promise me you’ll get my family out of there. Don’t worry about me.”
“I’ll do my best,” he said. “Just promise me you’ll be careful. Tabitha has nothing left to lose; there’s no telling what she’ll be willing to do as long as she takes you with her. If I think for one second you’re in danger of dying, I’m getting you the hell out of there.”
“Not without them,” I said firmly, meeting his stare impassively. “This is about them now as much as it’s about me. Do not leave them to get hurt or worse. Get them out, a
nd then you can come back and help me anyway you can. Hopefully it won’t come to much of a fight.”
“I think you’re relying on Cory too much,” he said, eyeing the strange boy standing nearby. “No offense, dude.”
“None taken,” Cory said distractedly. He hadn’t taken his eyes off the house since getting out of the car. “I understand. I’m an unknown element in your plan, and there’s no telling if I’ll work out in your favor or not. Beth might see me and snap out of whatever funk she’s in, or she might see me and all the memories of our parents and better times might drive her farther away from me, toward her anger.”
I joined him on the sidewalk, taking in the dark house in front of me. It had a mysterious, eerie feel to it, like some haunted mansion in a horror movie. It didn’t feel like the place I had come to unknowingly call home. It felt…wrong. There was no other way to describe it. I could feel power within, throbbing and harsh. Tabitha was definitely waiting for us somewhere in the house—there would be no surprising her.
She was likely holding Jessica hostage, probably with some kind of weapon. I would have to find a way to get Tabitha’s attention away from Jessica and shifted towards me. Then, Finn could get in there and get Jessica to safety. Once she was out of harms way, I could better focus on fighting Tabitha. I could afford zero distractions in this fight, or my family and friends were doomed.
The front door was ajar, lending an even creepier air to the night. The door squeaked loudly as I forced it open further, and I winced, waiting with my breath held. An agonizingly slow minute passed, feeling more like an eternity. When no sound came from inside the house, I motioned for Finn and Cory to follow along behind me.
We circled through the living room and the kitchen dining room area. The whole house was dark, and it was nearly impossible for me to see where anything was. But I had thankfully walked through this house many times, and I was able to maneuver around it. Finn could see in the dark and had no problems keeping up with me, but Cory was practically blind in the dark, and he didn’t know the layout of the house.
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