Bean and Ivy exchanged looks. “Yeah, Dad,” said Bean. “Great. Thanks.”
“Well!” he said. “I’m going to go clean out the drains.”
“Okay,” said Bean. Ivy and Bean watched as he left the room. Then they looked at each other and shook their heads. “That has got to be the most boring idea ever,” said Bean.
“You know grown-ups,” said Ivy. “They don’t have very good imaginations.”
Ivy and Bean began thinking again.
“What if . . .” began Ivy and stopped. She stared at the refrigerator. “Ice cubes!”
Bean looked at the refrigerator, too. “What about them?”
“Think—how do you cool down a hot thing?” asked Ivy, “Ice cubes! If we could put ice cubes up in the sky, the air would get colder, right?”
“Right,” said Bean. “But how are we going to put ice cubes in the sky?” asked Ivy.
“Well, in real life, they’d probably have to drop them out of airplanes, but for the science fair, we could just throw them up in the air to show what we mean.”
Bean slapped her hand on the table. “Great idea! And easy, too!”
A minute later, they were running out Bean’s back door with all the ice cubes they could find in the freezer. The next minute, they were running back inside to get a thermometer from the bathroom closet. And the minute after that, they both stood on Bean’s trampoline, holding bowls full of ice cubes.
“The higher we can throw them, the more they’ll cool down the weather,” Ivy said, looking at the sky.
“On your mark,” said Bean. “Get set. Go!” Together, they began to bounce, higher and higher, higher than they had ever been before.
“I can see my house,” yelled Ivy.
“I can see the North Pole!” shouted Bean. But that reminded her of what they were supposed to be doing. “You ready?”
“Yup.” Ivy scooped up a handful of ice. “We have to do it quick.”
Together, they boinged as high as they could get and hurled the ice up into the air. “Quick, quick, get the thermometer!” yelled Bean. Flinging her bowl to the ground, Ivy snatched the thermometer and bounced up again, waving it in the air.
“It’s definitely cooler up there,” said Bean, collapsing onto the trampoline. “What’s it say?”
Ivy slowed down and peered at the thermometer. “I don’t know,” she said. “It looks like 37.”
“That’s cold,” said Bean. “I can feel it. Lookit—I’m shivering.” Ivy looked.
Bean’s backyard gate swung open. Nancy and her friend Mischa came in, giggling. They stopped when they saw Ivy and Bean. Nancy looked at the lawn. “Why is there ice all over the backyard?” she asked.
Bean would never have told her in a million years, but Ivy didn’t have an older sister, so she came right out and answered, “Global warming.”
“What?” asked Mischa in a snippy voice. She was Nancy’s meanest friend.
“We’re curing global warming,” said Ivy. “With ice cubes.”
Nancy and Mischa burst out laughing. “Whatever,” said Nancy. “Come on, Mischie. But just so you know, guys, ice cubes won’t stop global warming. The sun is stronger than a billion ice cubes. And besides, making ice cubes uses up energy. Duh.”
“No offense, but that’s, like, the dumbest thing I ever heard,” sneered Mischa.
Bean looked down at the trampoline. It was covered with melting ice cubes. Quickly, she grabbed up an armful and tossed them at Nancy and Mischa. “Hailstorm!” she yelled. “Watch out!”
At least it was fun to watch them run.
No Mold, No Body Parts
Bean and Ivy hadn’t found a way to stop global warming, but Bean was willing to bet big money that no one else had either. She was famous for her good ideas and excellent fish prints. Ivy knew more about dinosaurs and prehistoric stuff than anyone in the whole school. If they couldn’t figure it out, who could? Take poor Zuzu, for instance. She was going to be an ice skater when she grew up. What did she know about science? Nothing. There was no way she had come up with a good science idea.
But she had.
Zuzu and Emma had decided to plant trees all over the school lawn. In fact, they hadn’t just decided it, they had started doing it, during recess. They were digging holes everywhere. “Trees clean the air because they eat car exhaust and make oxygen,” said Emma proudly.
Bean had to admit that was pretty good. She and a bunch of kids from Ms. Aruba-Tate’s class sat under the play structure and watched Emma and Zuzu dig holes. They had to dig fast so Rose the Yard Duty didn’t catch them. Rose the Yard Duty didn’t care about global warming.
Eric leaned over the rim of the slide and said, “I’m going to make a garbage robot.”
“You mean a robot made out of garbage?” asked Bean.
“How’s that going to fix global warming?” asked Ivy. She was reading a paper called “Science Fair Rules.”
“It’s not a robot made out of garbage; it’s a robot that attacks people who litter,” Eric said. “I’ll hide behind a corner, and when I see some guy drop a cup or something, I’ll press the button and this giant robot will come out and crush him.
He’ll scream—AAAAHHHH!— but too bad, he’s dead.”
“Wow,” said Bean. It seemed rude to ask Eric how he was going to make the robot.
“Isn’t the dead guy kind of like litter?” asked Drew.
Eric disappeared down the slide. “It says no mold and no body parts,” said Ivy, reading.
“Yuck. Mold is gross,” said Bean.
“I kind of like it,” said Ivy. “But that still doesn’t help us think of an idea.”
“You guys don’t have an idea yet?” asked Vanessa.
“No,” said Ivy.
“What’s your idea?” asked Bean. Vanessa was either first or best at everything. She even had a retainer already. It was very annoying.
“Okay,” began Vanessa, sounding like a teacher, “you know how Shayna said that the earth gets warmer when carbon dioxide gas holds the heat in? Well, guess what? People make carbon dioxide when they breathe out. So, if everyone breathed less, there would be less carbon dioxide, right?” Ivy and Bean nodded. “My idea is I’m going to make all my brothers and sisters hold their breath for fifteen minutes a day. I’ve got three brothers and two sisters. That’s a lot of carbon dioxide.” She looked at Bean and Ivy. “Good, huh?”
“No one can hold their breath for fifteen minutes,” said Ivy.
“Not all at once,” said Vanessa. “A minute at a time, fifteen times in the whole day. I bet I win the certificate.”
Bean bet so too, but she didn’t say it. She said, “That remains to be seen,” in a mysterious voice. But after Vanessa left, she turned to Ivy. “If we don’t think of something soon, we’re toast.”
School was over, and Ivy and Bean still didn’t have an idea that would stop global warming. They didn’t talk much as they walked home. They were thinking.
As they turned the corner of Pancake Court, Ivy and Bean saw Bean’s neighbor, Mrs. Trantz, walking her dog Dottsy. Dottsy looked like she was pink, but she wasn’t. It was her skin showing through her hair. She and Mrs. Trantz were both old. Whenever they went for a walk, it was a very slow walk.
“Slow down,” whispered Bean. “If we catch up to her, she’ll get mad at me.”
“But you’re not doing anything wrong,” whispered Ivy.
“I know, but she’ll get mad anyhow.” Mrs. Trantz was strange that way. You would think she’d get tired of getting mad at Bean, but she never did.
Slowly, slowly, Mrs. Trantz and Dottsy trudged along Pancake Court. Even though she was slower than a slug, Mrs. Trantz acted like she was in a big hurry. Every time Dottsy stopped to sniff a lump of grass, Mrs. Trantz yanked on her leash and said “Come!” in a high voice. Dottsy looked sadly back at each lump as she was dragged away.
“Go slower,” whispered Bean.
“I can’t go any slower,” whispered Ivy. “If I go
any slower, I’ll be going backwards.”
“Let’s crawl on our hands and knees,” whispered Bean. “We’ll pretend we’re ants.”
They dropped to their hands and knees and crept after Mrs. Trantz, being very slow ants. Little pebbles and sticks dug into Bean’s knees, but it was still better than being yelled at by Mrs. Trantz.
“Poor Dottsy,” murmured Ivy. “This is all she sees. Rocks and dirt and Mrs. Trantz’s behind.”
“I’d rather look at rocks than Mrs. Trantz’s behind,” Bean whispered.
Up ahead, Dottsy turned around and saw them.
“Rrrryp?” she said wonderingly and tried to stop.
But Mrs. Trantz wouldn’t let her. She tugged on the leash. “Come!” she snapped.
Dottsy’s legs quivered, trying to stay in one place. “Rrryurg,” she choked.
Mrs. Trantz turned around to give a really hard yank and saw Ivy and Bean crawling up the sidewalk. “Is that you, Bernice?” she squawked, squinting at Bean.
Bean tried to crawl into some bushes.
“I know it’s you! Get up! Stop teasing my dog or I’ll call your mother! Get up!”
Bean and Ivy stood up. Ivy bravely said, “We weren’t teasing your dog, Mrs. Trantz.”
“Who are you, little girl?” yelled Mrs. Trantz. “Leave my poor Dottsy alone!”
“Rrryp?” said Dottsy, sniffing hopefully towards Ivy and Bean.
“Come, Dottsy!” said Mrs. Trantz, giving a giant yank on the leash. Mrs. Trantz was old, but she was strong. Dottsy went flying through the air.
“Poor Dottsy,” said Ivy, watching them totter home.
“Yeah,” said Bean. “She has a terrible life, and there’s nothing she can do about it.”
“If I were her, I’d run away,” said Ivy.
“But she can’t. Mrs. Trantz is bigger than she is. Mrs. Trantz can stick that leash on her and pull her around.”
“It’s not fair,” said Ivy. “People always win.”
“Yeah,” Bean nodded, watching Mrs. Trantz haul Dottsy up her front steps. “But you know what? Maybe we can make it fair.”
Survival of the Fittest
“Mom,” said Ivy, “can you tie this knot?”
Ivy’s mom was working in her office. Click, click, click, her fingers jumped along her keyboard. “Mmm,” she said.
“Mom?” Ivy said.
“What?”
“Can you tie this knot?”
“Yes,” said Ivy’s mom. Quickly, she leaned over and pulled on the string wrapped around Ivy’s wrists. She tied the ends in a knot.
“Thanks,” said Ivy. She and Bean turned to leave. “Bye.”
“Mmm,” said Ivy’s mom, her fingers beginning to jump again.
They walked down the hall to the front door. Walking with their hands tied in front of them was weird. It made their stomachs stick out.
“Wait,” called Ivy’s mom. She poked her head out of her office. “Can I ask why you’ve tied your hands together?”
“It’s a global warming idea,” said Ivy.
“Oh,” said Ivy’s mom. “What do you mean?”
“Well, you know how lots of animals are in trouble from global warming?” said Ivy. Her mom nodded. “They’d have a better chance if humans weren’t so powerful.”
“If humans weren’t as strong and smart and stuff,” added Bean.
“So we tied up our hands, to make it more fair,” said Ivy.
“We thought about hitting ourselves on the head, so that we’d be dumber,” said Bean.
“But then we thought that would hurt,” Ivy said. “So we picked hands instead.”
“If we can’t move our hands, we’ll be weaker,” said Bean. “And then the animals can take over.”
“They could take over the world from the people,” said Ivy.
“It’s a very interesting idea,” said Ivy’s mom. She smiled. “Where are you going now?”
“We’re going to go outside and let the animals see that we’re weak,” said Ivy.
“We may be eaten,” said Bean, “but we don’t mind.”
“It’s for science,” said Ivy.
“That’s definitely a good cause,” said Ivy’s mom.
She didn’t seem very worried, so Ivy said, “If we do get eaten, bring our skeletons to the science fair.”
“Will do,” said Ivy’s mom and went back inside her office.
They stood in Ivy’s front yard, trying to show the animals that they were weak.
“Come and get us!” called Bean.
But the animals must have been napping, because it was Katy from down the block who answered. She stepped out of a camellia bush and stared at them.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Global warming,” said Bean.
“We’re fighting it,” said Ivy. “We’re giving the animals a chance to—”
Katy interrupted. “You want to play Bad Orphanage?”
Katy had changed a lot. When she was little, she had only wanted to play House.
“No, thanks,” said Ivy, “We’re working on a science project—”
“Just wait right here,” said Katy. She crawled into the camellia bush and backed out with a jump rope. “I’m the mean orphanage matron and you’re the orphans,” she said.
“No,” said Ivy again. “We’re doing a science project!”
Bean didn’t say anything. She loved Bad Orphanage. She loved being the cruel matron who fed crusts to the orphans.
But Katy had her own plan. Katy was stringing her jump rope through their tied hands. “You’re my orphan prisoners!” she said and cackled a cruel orphanage matron cackle. “Cry and scream,” she ordered them in her normal voice.
“Now wait just a cotton-picking minute here,” began Bean. If she didn’t get to be a cruel matron, she didn’t want to play.
“This is a science project!” yelled Ivy.
Katy paid no attention to them. One thing about Katy hadn’t changed. She had always been a tough cookie. “March!” she bellowed, and pulled on her end of the rope.
“No!” said Ivy.
“March or I’ll cook you alive!” shrieked Katy. She yanked on the rope again, and Ivy and Bean almost fell over.
Across the street, Sophie W. came out on her porch and saw Ivy and Bean’s tied hands. “Whatcha doing?” she called.
“These are my orphan prisoners!” hollered Katy. “Come on! You can be the other cruel matron.”
“You’re stopping scientific progress!” Ivy yelled.
“Right!” yelled Bean. “This is about global warming!”
“Wrong!” yelled Katy. “This is about orphans!”
Sophie W. ran around Pancake Court, and joined Katy dragging them along the sidewalk. Ivy and Bean twisted and turned their hands, but they couldn’t undo the knots in the rope.
“Now let’s dump them in the orphanage basement,” Sophie said. She pointed at Katy’s front yard. “That’s the orphanage basement.”
“And then let’s give them the rack,” suggested Katy.
“HEY!” yelled Ivy and Bean together.
“Oh, don’t worry,” said Sophie. “We won’t hurt you for real.”
Katy cackled. She might hurt them for real.
She tied them tightly to her porch railing. “Let’s get another rope,” she said. “So we can stretch them.”
“Yeah!” said Sophie W.
Together, they ran off, laughing.
“Boy,” said Bean. “That Katy is a wacko. Let’s get out of here.”
They wiggled their hands, trying to loosen the ropes. It was too bad that Ivy’s mom tied knots so well.
“You know,” said Ivy. “This is exactly what Dottsy must feel like.”
Bean looked at the rope that connected them to the railing. “Isn’t this what we were trying for? We’re weak and we can’t do anything.”
Ivy nodded.
“I don’t think this is making the animals stronger,” Bean said.
�
��No. I guess it’s not,” said Ivy.
Bean shook her head. “Bummer. I thought we were on to something.”
“Me too,” said Ivy. “It might work if all the people in the whole world tied their hands together.”
“Especially Katy,” said Bean. “But I guess making people weaker won’t make animals stronger, unless the animals know it.”
“Now we have to think of another idea,” sighed Ivy.
They heard the slap-slap of Katy’s sandals as she zoomed along the sidewalk. “We have two ropes and we’re going to string you up!” she yelled. “Prepare to meet your maker!”
Rice and Bean
MacAdam had made a battery out of a lime, a penny, and a paper clip. He showed it to the class and then he showed a picture of a car with a zillion limes attached to it. The limes made the car go.
“So MacAdam’s idea is to use limes instead of gasoline to fuel cars. Is that it, MacAdam?” said Ms. Aruba-Tate.
MacAdam nodded.
“Very good idea, MacAdam,” said Ms. Aruba-Tate. “Limes are a clean kind of energy, aren’t they? Clean energy means energy that doesn’t make pollution. Scientists all over the world are trying to find clean energy to use instead of gasoline. Can anyone think of another kind of clean energy?”
Bean and Ivy exchanged looks. How come they hadn’t thought of limes? How come MacAdam had? “Must be something in the dirt,” whispered Bean. MacAdam liked to eat dirt.
“Yes, Bean? Can you think of another kind of clean energy?” Ms. Aruba-Tate said eagerly.
What? Clean energy? She should know this! Bean panicked. “Rice!” she yelled.
“Rice?” Ms. Aruba-Tate looked surprised and interested. “Wow! Is that what your science fair project is about?”
Bean didn’t know what to say. “Yes!” she yelled. “Rice energy! It’s clean!” She couldn’t stop yelling. Ivy was looking at her like she’d lost her mind. “Ivy and I have discovered rice energy!”
Ivy and Bean: What's the Big Idea? Page 2