She smiled at me as she took it. “I’ll be back in a second,” she promised, disappearing back downstairs.
I had always liked Elle. My apprehension about her being with Braden was mostly due to the fact that I wasn’t overly confident that Braden was in a good place mentally for a relationship. I knew that Elle was struggling too, and I didn’t know if Braden could handle that.
And, I was self-aware enough to know that I was projecting a little.
“Are you okay?” Elle asked, her brown eyes squinting in concern as she placed a hand on my forearm. I hadn’t even realized I’d gapped out while waiting.
“Yeah, sorry. Just tired,” I apologized, grabbing my purse. “Are you ready? Is Braden coming with us?”
“He’ll be along shortly…” Elle bit her lip. “I kind of told him we needed to show up separately.”
“Ah,” I exhaled, nodding with understanding. After all, I had the same arrangement going on with Travis.
“It’s just, Alex—“
“It’s okay, you don’t need to explain it to me. Trust me, I get it,” I sighed again.
“Are you picking Aiden up?”
“Yes,” I answered. “Valerie has plans with her family, and I know he’ll want to say hi to Spirit,” I smiled, referring to Tessa’s horse. Aiden loved going to the farm to see all the animals—especially the horses.
I opened the front door and stepped out onto the porch, reaching inside the mailbox. My fist closed around my keys. Pulling them out, I ignored the curious look Elle sent me and continued walking to my car.
Braden was standing in the driveway beside his truck, waiting. Hunter sat in the cab, looking regal and self-satisfied as he peered ahead, panting. Brock usually took Hunter everywhere, and he’d come to expect the same treatment from the rest of us.
“He slipped out when I opened the door, and apparently is insisting on coming with. Not my first choice for shotgun,” he joked, looking at Elle with pointed longing.
“Better you than me,” I replied, climbing into my car. “At least Elle won’t shed all over my seats.”
“I just might,” she grinned, putting her large sunglasses on. She blew Braden a kiss and slid into the passenger seat. Starting the engine, I backed out of the driveway.
The Jefferson’s lived about ten minutes away from us in a modest two-story house. The yard was well maintained but littered with bicycles and foot balls, the evidence that three rowdy growing boys lived and thrived there. I pulled up the driveway and put it in park, leaving the car running before I jogged up the walkway and rang the bell.
Valerie answered with a smile. “Becky! Come on in. How was the rest of the wedding?” she asked.
“It was great! Thank you for watching him last night, Valerie.” I returned her smile with one of my own as I stepped inside.
“It’s my pleasure, Aiden is no trouble at all. If anything, he keeps Max in line,” Valerie replied. She turned her head and hollered up the stairs. “Aiden! Your mom is here!”
I could hear several sets of feet tromping around upstairs, and ten minutes later Aiden was barrelling down the stairs with his backpack and pillow. “Hi Mom!”
“Hi buddy!” I said, crouching down to give him a hug. “How was the sleepover?”
“AMAZING!” he exclaimed, his eyes bright and excited. “We watched a scary movie!”
“Ghostbusters,” Valerie whispered with a wink.
“That’s great, bud,” I smiled. “Do you have everything?”
“Yes. Are we going to the farm?”
“Yep,” I answered. Aiden whooped and practically flew out of the door. “Thanks again, Valerie! I’ll see you tonight at practice!” I said, waving at her before I closed the door.
It didn’t take us long to get to the farm. When we pulled up, Elle’s mom was already directing the helpers on where to go. The second the car rolled to a stop, Aiden flew out, heading immediately for the front pasture, where the horses were grazing lazily in the mid-morning sun.
As we approached, Sue fixed her daughter with a wry stare, arching a brow. “Bout time you two showed up! The party rental place will be sending a truck here within the hour. We’ve got a lot of decorations to put away. Did Tessa say what she wanted to do with the centerpieces?”
“I know what she wants to keep,” Elle replied, ignoring the rest of her mom’s statement. “We’ll get started on that.”
Braden pulled up when Elle was talking to her mother. Hunter jumped out of the cab and looked around, sniffing the air for a moment. He caught sight of Aiden and Alyssa on the wooden fence, both of them holding out bits of long grass to the horses, and ambled over to them.
Avoiding looking in the general direction of Elle and her mother, Braden instead headed over to where Gordon and Tommy were busy grabbing all of the rental chairs from the ceremony. He set to stacking them up against the fence near the barn.
I resisted the urge to snort—Braden wasn’t fooling anyone, lest of all Elle’s mom. The two of them had been inseparable all evening, and it was obvious they’d left together.
I wondered if it was obvious I’d left with Travis too. Before I could worry too much, Elle grabbed my arm. “Come on. Let’s get this done—I need to sleep off this hangover.”
We walked into the reception tent and started packing up decorations. We lined up the centerpieces on Bill’s front porch for the time being and when Krista stumbled into the tent looking as hungover as I felt, Elle set her to work folding linens.
Heavy truck tires crunching against gravel had my heart thrumming in my chest at the possibility of it being Travis. I’d known I would see him again, and I knew it was foolish, but I was excited about it. The accompanying swell of disappointment when the white party rental truck rolled up would have been embarrassing if I’d confessed to it, but instead I suppressed it and continued on with the task at hand.
Then he actually did show up. He parked his truck and climbed out, his eyes meeting mine from across the vast space that separated us. He smiled at me, that secret smile that made my insides feel all tingly.
I brought the linens I was carrying over to the party rental truck, trying to keep my face impassive as I walked by him. Travis jogged after me, and I shot him a warning look. “What are you doing?” I asked him, my voice barely above a whisper as I handed the linens to an employee.
We were hidden by the party rental truck, but that didn’t mean we wouldn’t be discovered by anybody else who needed to drop linens off.
“I just wanted to talk to you for a minute, if that’s alright?” he arched a brow, a daring smile dancing upon his lips. Hiding how I felt from him was a challenge in itself, especially now that we were together together, and still hiding it.
Still, I softened my features and offered him a small smile. “Quickly,” I told him, ever powerless when he looked at me that way.
“I want to see you again tonight,” he said.
“I can’t, Aiden has soccer,” I replied, disappointed about it. An emotion I couldn’t pinpoint passed through Travis’s eyes before an easy smile graced his lips. “I’d say come over after Aiden’s in bed, but…”
“Braden,” he finished for me, sighing. It might make things worse for Brock if Braden were to find out before him.
“Call me later, okay?” I said, looking at him wistfully before I turned on my heel and walked away.
When the job was finally done and the party truck was kicking up dust as it drove down the Armstrong’s driveway, I breathed a sigh of relief. Weddings were exhausting. I wanted to sleep for a thousand years, and I silently prayed that nobody close to me would get married again any time soon.
But it had been beautiful, whimsical, even. It had been the kind of wedding every little girl should dream of having. Small and intimate, with friends and family coming together to make sure everything went off without a hitch. There’d been a few close calls, but we’d pulled it off in the end.
“Are you heading off now?” Sue asked, catching me a
s I attempted to sneak away without drawing Travis’s attention. After our quick conversation by the party rental truck, he’d proceeded to watch me whenever nobody else was looking, which only made my nerves feel more frazzled. “There’s burgers and sausages on the grill if you’re hungry!”
“Yeah Mom! Can we stay for a while, please?” Aiden pleaded, appearing at my elbow. “I’m starving and Alyssa wants to show me the treehouse her grandpa built!”
“Alright, we’ll stay a little longer,” I relented, my shoulders dropping in surrender. “But don’t forget, you’ve got soccer practice tonight.” Aiden cheered and raced off after Alyssa, heading toward the back of the house.
“Can I do anything to help?” I asked Sue awkwardly, feeling a little out of place. She threw her arm around me and grinned.
“You can help me fix a salad,” she said warmly. She squeezed me quickly before releasing me, and the familiar pang throbbed within my heart. I felt it whenever I missed my mom, which was a lot lately. Elle was lucky—what I wouldn’t give for one more conversation with my mom. I wasted too many years being angry at her for things she couldn’t change, instead of appreciating her for all that she did for us—especially after everything with Richie.
As I followed Sue into the Armstrong’s house, I couldn’t help but wonder what Mom would think of Travis, of us. Would she be happy about it?
Sue went to the refrigerator and began to grab things we would need for the salad. I rinsed the lettuce, tomatoes and radishes while she started chopping some green onions.
I’d been in the Armstrong’s kitchen a few times before, when Tessa had insisted we join them for holidays, and I’d always found it warm and welcoming. It was impossible not to feel that sense of home, here, so I set to my task and relaxed.
“Did you two have a good night last night?” Sue asked casually, effectively slicing through my ease.
I froze, looking at her warily. “What do you mean?”
“I wasn’t drinking all that much,” she informed me, a knowing little smile on her lips. “I saw a lot more than everyone thought I saw,” she added with a laugh. My mouth opened and closed like a fish, as I searched for something to say.
“Don’t worry, I know how you Millers like your privacy…your secret is safe with me,” Sue said after I’d taken too long to respond. She went about chopping the radishes. “But, I will say that I’m happy to see it. It’s about time you let someone else in. I know you’ve had a rough past, but you aren’t meant for a spinster’s life, and I’d hate to see you reduced to that.”
I’d always admired Sue Thompson. She didn’t need a man, and never had. It had always been just her and Elle. I’d wanted to be like her, content with my family and friendships, and in a lot of ways…I was.
But Travis had unlocked something inside me, a hope that I couldn’t seem to push back inside.
Sue seemed to be waiting for me to say something, so I cleared my throat. “We’re just seeing how things go, for now.”
“Playing it safe,” she nodded with understanding, dropping the freshly chopped radishes into the salad. “But don’t play it too safe, you hear?”
“Okay,” I said, confounded. I wasn’t used to parental advice. Mom had never been one to tell us how to live.
“He’s a good man,” Sue informed me. “I know his mother, we went to middle school together, and we’ve kept in touch over the years,” she added, seeing the confusion on my face.
“I know he is,” I replied.
Sue smiled with satisfaction, grabbing the large salad bowl. She gestured to the mason jar of homemade dressing on the counter with a tilt of her head. “Mind grabbing that for me?”
Since my conversation with Sue in the Armstrong’s kitchen, my mind wouldn’t quit spinning and spiraling in millions of interwoven paths, filtering from one concern to the next.
When I sank into the plush sofa in Dr. Rootham’s office on the Wednesday after the wedding, so many things ensnared my mind, and I couldn’t pause them, no matter how badly I wanted to. They came out in a muddled rush while I recounted the last few weeks, barely pausing to take a breath.
After getting through a huge chunk of my mental list, Dr. Rootham made me expand on my developing feelings.
“When I’m with him, I can trust him. There’s just little moments that sting, little waves of insecurity that make me question what we’re doing,” I finished, wondering if anything that I’d said during the course of our half hour had made any sense at all. But, when I looked at Dr. Rootham, she was nodding with understanding.
“Trust takes time to build,” she assured me. “Open communication is important, have you told him about Richie yet? Your fears?”
I winced, thinking about how I’d shut him out yet again. It hadn’t been intentional, of course, but between my work schedule, Aiden’s soccer, and my moody younger brother—we hadn’t been able to get together since the night of the wedding.
We’d texted and spoken on the phone several times a day, but it wasn’t enough…and it didn’t feel right, talking about those things on the phone. I’d hoped I would be able to see him at least once, but Braden hadn’t been doing too well either, and the knowledge of that sat heavily on my shoulders. I was genuinely worried about him.
Elle had gone back to Barrie after the wedding. At first, he’d believed she was tying up loose ends and that she’d be back in a few days. But she didn’t come back when she said she was going to, and she hadn’t returned any of his phone calls.
I couldn’t get away, but I also couldn’t invite Travis to my place and run the risk of Braden coming home. It was important to me to tell Brock first, before anybody else found out.
But the clock was ticking, and our opportunity to spend time together was dwindling, and I was to blame.
“I’ll take that as a no,” Dr. Rootham summarized from my body language. Her eyes drilled into mine, willing me to listen…to hear. “You’ve come so far, Becky. The effort you’ve put into your recovery is astonishing, but it still seems like you’re punishing yourself for falling for an abuser.”
“I am,” I nodded, not even bothering to resist the truth of her statement. “If I knew how to stop it, I would…but…” I trailed off, shrugging helplessly. I’ve always been exceptionally hard on myself, I’ve always shouldered the blame…tried to carry it myself. It was who I was even before Richie, before he dismantled my heart and my spirit.
“When you find yourself thinking that way…try to redirect your thoughts,” she urged. “You persevered. You came out of a horribly traumatic situation a stronger person, a person who knows what they will and will not tolerate from a prospective partner. Trust your intuition, Becky.”
Travis
I had been hit with a wave of inspiration after my night with Becky. That night, spent with her in my arms, in my bed, had felt so…intimate. So right.
I’d spent the last few days as a recluse, waiting Thursday while I worked on some new lyrics I had rolling around in my head. I was also dodging the persistent phone calls from my manager, demanding to know when I’d be back in Nashville. I’d already told him six times that I’d be back in five weeks, but Tom was still hoping I’d change my answer. He wanted to get a start on the new record, only there wasn’t anything to start.
I had nothing worth sharing. Yet, anyway.
The song that I’d been working on seemed too personal, too emotional, and I wasn’t ready to share it. My public image was beers and trucks, not love ballads. But, singing with Everly Daniels at the wedding had me convinced a ballad wasn’t such a bad idea, that maybe it was time to take my music in a new direction. I could think of no better time to do it than when I went on stage at the Grand Ole Opry in September.
By Wednesday, I knew I needed to get out of the house, so I met the guys for half priced ribs and a couple of beers at O’Riley’s. The regular group consisted of Gordon, Tommy, Grady, and Brock. Sometimes, Steve would randomly show up. Sometimes, Braden would show up, if he didn’t ha
ve anything better to do, only he’d drink a coke in place of beer.
Steve, Braden, and Brock were absent this week. Brock was still on his honeymoon, Braden only really came when Brock was there, and nobody knew what Steve did when he wasn’t hanging out with us. On this particular night, it was just Gordon, Grady, Tommy, and me.
“You know what I don’t get?” Gordon said, pausing to take a sip of his beer. He sat across the table from me at O’Riley’s.
“What?” Tommy demanded, irritated at the long pause.
“I think its bullshit that you live in that bad ass mansion on a sick lake and you never throw parties there,” Gordon said, his tone accusatory and his focus zeroed in on my face.
“My mom’s there,” I shrugged. “I don’t want to put her out.”
“We wouldn’t be! Mama Channing can sling some beers with us,” Tommy grinned, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. The your mom is hot jokes would never stop coming, and I couldn’t even get mad at them for it. Gordon and Tommy had lost their mom when they were kids, so any your mom revenge jokes would be cruel. They knew it and used it to their full advantage, of course.
“It’s not just her. Last time I let you douchebags talk me into throwing a party, some dumbass put the address on Myspace and an extra three hundred guests show up. We had paparazzi swarming the gates for months afterwards,” I reminded them pointedly.
“Okay,” Tommy said, raising his finger to stop me right there. “That was years ago,” he argued, rolling his eyes. He’d been the one to stupidly put up the address on his public Myspace.
“It’s true, Tommy has learned the error of his ways,” Gordon nodded, smirking.
“I couldn’t come home for months,” I laughed. “I had to hire twenty-four hour ground security to make sure people would leave my mom alone.”
“Why does it matter?” Grady asked, coming to my rescue.
Rebel Song: (Rebel Series Book 3) ((Rebel Series)) Page 17