by Diana Palmer
He’d meant it as a punishment, and that was what it had been. A way to show her how weak she was, how vulnerable she was to his strength. She’d learned the lesson, but in a way that became more painful with every passing second. What had he thought of her? That she was easy, that she was really Jim Black’s woman? Her eyes closed on the harsh memory. Perhaps he had thought that, until he kissed her. A man with Curry’s experience would hardly mistake a novice’s reaction to his passion. She remembered with a tremor just how expert his demanding mouth had been. She wondered what it would have been like if she’d relaxed against his hard body and let him teach her how it could be between a man and a woman. But playing tutor to an inexperienced girl wasn’t in Curry’s line, and pleasuring her had been the last thing on his mind. He had Amanda for pleasure, and Eleanor, temporarily, for business.
The only thing that didn’t make sense was why he’d chosen that particular way to get back at her. Curry wasn’t the kind of man to experiment, or amuse himself with an unsophisticated woman. And it wasn’t his usual method of revenge, either. But Eleanor had never fought with him until the past few days. She’d always given in with a smile and gone along with whatever ruthless plan he devised with that brilliant, innovative mind of his. Now, things were different. She was fighting back, and he didn’t like it, and he was using the only weapons he had.
She turned her face into the pillow, feeling its coolness drain some of the heat out of her face. Why couldn’t she have fallen in love with Jim Black? He was so much more her type; gentle and kind and caring. Not at all like Curry. Curry would burn a woman alive and leave her in ashes. It was his nature. And now, more than ever, she prayed that the last days of her employment would go quickly, before he had a chance to wound her even more.
He was already out on the ranch when she finished breakfast and went to work the next morning. It was as if he couldn’t face her—a ridiculous thought which she promptly dismissed. Curry never backed away from a confrontation of any kind, and he wouldn’t be the least bit embarrassed or self-conscious about what he’d done last night. Before he was through, he’d even find a way to make it look as if she’d tempted him to do it.
Amanda came by unexpectedly at lunch time, looking for Curry.
“He promised to drive me into Houston today.” The model pouted when Eleanor said she hadn’t heard from her boss. “I’d been looking forward to lunch in a nice, quiet restaurant.”
“Bessie never minds setting another place, you know,” Eleanor said with kindness in her voice as she smiled at Amanda.
Amanda smiled back, her eyes puzzled at the change in Curry’s secretary. “You look so different,” she said involuntarily. “Younger, more alive. Is Curry right, are you interested in Jim Black?”
Eleanor shifted uncomfortably. “He’s a very nice man,” she admitted. “And a lot of fun to be with.”
“A lot older than you, though,” Amanda probed.
“He’s only thirty-four,” she reminded the redhead. “A year younger than Curry Matherson.”
Amanda frowned. “You never call him Curry, do you? It’s always his full name, or Mr. Matherson.”
She shrugged with a smile. “He’s my boss. I’d feel terribly uncomfortable calling him by his first name.”
Amanda shook her head. “How you could work with him year after year and keep it strictly business is beyond me,” Amanda said as she perched herself on the edge of Curry’s desk and lit a cigarette with long, tapered fingers. “Or is that why you wore that awful disguise, to keep things businesslike?”
That rankled, but Eleanor let it pass. “My upbringing didn’t allow for frivolity of any kind,” she said. “But when Jim asked me to dress up for him…”
Amanda smiled with what looked like relief. “You couldn’t resist, I suppose.” She laughed. “Curry said that was you with Jim the night we were in the club. How awful for you to have to sit there and hear what Curry said about you.”
“It was…pretty awful,” she agreed quietly. “Thanks for defending me, anyway.”
“My pleasure, men can be such beasts. Is that,” she probed further, “why you gave him notice?”
“Part of it was. We had a terrible argument the next morning,” she admitted. “He…he said some pretty rough things about me. I suppose, added to what I’d overheard, it was really the last straw. And Jim’s been trying to get me over to his place for over a year. I finally gave in.”
“He has a son,” Amanda said.
“Jeff. He’s thirteen, and the image of his dad,” she laughed. “And Maude, Jim’s sister, keeps house for them. She’s quite a lady.”
“Sounds like a ready-made family,” Amanda remarked. She took a draw from her cigarette and blew smoke out of her perfect, red mouth. “Children are the one problem I’m going to have with Curry. I can’t risk a pregnancy for quite a few years if I’m to go on working, and I can’t give up modeling. I’ve worked too hard, too long, to get where I am.”
“You’re very good at it,” Eleanor said genuinely.
Amanda smiled lazily. “It’s demanding, and it gets rough, but I love every second of it.”
“You couldn’t take time off for a baby?” Eleanor asked.
“Babies give me goose bumps,” the model said drily. “I’m twenty-five, you know. And I’ve only got a few years left in modeling before the wrinkles start to show too much. Diapers and tears are a poor trade for spotlights and the salary I draw. Curry will understand. We’ll both have to make a few compromises, but it won’t be a bad marriage.”
Curry didn’t make compromises, but apparently Amanda hadn’t found that out, yet. Eleanor had a feeling she would before very much longer.
“You must love him very much.” Eleanor smiled.
“Love, my child, is highly overrated.” Amanda laughed. “I’m fond of Curry, but I want him more than I love him. And he wants me. And,” she added with narrowed eyes, “the day he puts the right ring on my finger, he’ll get me; not before.” Her gaze flicked to Eleanor’s stunned face. “Shocked, darling? It’s the only way any woman’s going to land Curry. He isn’t the love-forever-after kind. He’s a virile, sensuous man who wants a woman to match that volcanic passion of his. I’ve held him off so far, but it won’t take much longer, and I’ll have him in the palm of my hand.”
“You make it sound…cold.” Eleanor frowned.
Amanda shook her head. “It isn’t. I’ll give Curry everything he wants, and in my own way, I’ll care about him. But he doesn’t really need a loving, possessive wife—he’s too damned independent. He needs a woman in his bed occasionally who’ll leave him alone the rest of the time, and I can give him that. Very few women could live with him on those terms, and you know it. A woman who loved him would literally smother him to death. I won’t.”
Grudgingly, Eleanor had to admit that the model was right. Curry wouldn’t like possession, or being clung to, or depended on. He was so independent himself that he wouldn’t want a woman who wasn’t the same way. The thought made her sad. It wasn’t really much of a future.
“Oh, darling, there you are!” Amanda said suddenly, crushing out her cigarette as Curry came into the den, freshly showered, his hair still damp. He looked like a fashion plate in the gray suit that just matched his eyes. “I thought you’d forgotten,” Amanda teased, hugging him.
“I don’t forget much, baby,” he said with a half smile. He glanced toward Eleanor, who was avoiding his eyes with a vengeance.
“Have you got enough to keep you busy until I get back from Houston?” Curry asked Eleanor with an edge on his voice.
“Of course,” came the calm reply. Still she wouldn’t meet his eyes, feeling her heart running wild just at the sound of his voice as she remembered unpleasantly the last time she’d heard it.
“If you run out of work, you can start updating the files, cleaning out old material,” he added gruffly. “I’ll want to start fresh when I replace you.”
“Yes, sir,” she said deliberatel
y, her voice quiet, unhurried, efficient.
She could feel the smouldering anger before she flashed a glance at his face and saw it there. Her eyes fell back to the calendar she was studying.
“Do I have any appointments this afternoon?” he asked.
“No. You have an 8:30 appointment in the morning with that feed salesman from Atlanta,” she reminded him.
“Cancel it,” he told her. “I won’t be back. Tell him I’ve solved my feed allotment problem by trading around with some of the other ranchers, and I won’t need any extra shipments.”
“What if I can’t find him?” she asked irritably.
“Then, you have breakfast with him, honey, and explain the situation,” he said with icy patience. “Wear your glasses and one of those damned sack dresses—it’ll thrill him.”
Her jaw set and if Amanda hadn’t been standing there, she’d have told him in no uncertain terms just where to go. He seemed to read the thought in her spitting green eyes and raised his head arrogantly, slitting his eyes down at her as if he was silently daring her to say it.
“I might just do that,” she said sweetly. “I need the practice.”
The emphasis on that last word wasn’t lost on him, and he looked strangely uncomfortable for an instant before his hard face went impassive again.
“Let’s get on the road, baby,” he told Amanda, sliding a possessive arm around her tiny waist. “It’s a long drive.”
“Not the way you drive.” Amanda laughed. “Bye, Eleanor.”
“Bye,” came the soft reply. She almost added a bitter “have fun,” but she was a little afraid to push Curry any further. His temper was suddenly unpredictable, and Jim’s words came back to her with blunt meaning. Curry was dangerous, all right, and even if she had been a little afraid of him before, it was without any substantial reason. Now, it wasn’t, and she wondered how she was going to live through the next few days.
At least he wouldn’t be in until late tomorrow; that was something of a reprieve. But he’d be with Amanda, and the thought of them together made her want to cry. In just a little while he’d be married, and there’d be a barrier between them that nothing could break. Tears glimmered in her pale eyes. Three years of loving him, only to lose him to a woman who could only give him passion. He’d never have the son he craved, or anyone to care about him if he got sick, or when he grew old, or…
She wiped away the tears. It was none of her business anymore. She had a life of her own to pursue, and it was, she told herself, time to get on with it. She had to make plans. She had to map out a life for herself. And it was going to take some doing to decide if Jim Black was at the end of her path, or if she needed to put more than ten miles between herself and Curry Matherson.
Jim called late that afternoon and asked her out to supper at the ranch.
“Oh, I’d love to,” she agreed with a smile. “Curry took Amanda to Houston and they won’t be back until tomorrow. A whole night and day of blessed peace!”
“Are things that bad over there?” Jim asked suddenly, and in her mind she could see the set of his square jaw and the darkness in his eyes.
She took a deep breath. “Just about,” she admitted finally.
“I’ll be over in an hour and a half,” he told her. “It’ll take that long to scrub off the mud.”
“Mud?” she queried.
He chuckled softly. “Remember that sorry old Brahma bull of mine I’ve been trying to pawn off on the rodeo boys?”
“How could I forget him?” She laughed.
“Well, I finally convinced Bubba Morris that he could shed any rider who was fool enough to climb up on his back, so I was throwing a rope on him while the boys got the trailer back up to the corral.”
“There was a mudhole,” she guessed.
“From last night’s rain,” he agreed.
“And the bull pulled harder than you did.”
“Lady, you read my mind. Never fear, the headache’s gone now, and I hope some mean-tempered cowboy rips his gut open for him.”
“Sadist,” she teased.
“What did Curry take Amanda all the way to Houston for?” he asked suddenly.
“Lunch.”
“Why didn’t they go to San Antone; it’s closer,” he said, abbreviating the name of the well-known Texas city affectionately, because, it was said every Texan had two homes—his own and San Antonio.
“I don’t know,” Eleanor told him. “I guess she wanted to look in on her apartment or something. She’s been staying with a friend for the past two weeks, over in Victoria.”
“Bad time for Curry to be away from the ranch, what with roundup coming on,” Jim remarked. “He’s got a hell of a lot of work ahead of him. It’s no easy thing to move that many cattle from winter to summer pasture, and brand them, and check them, and spray them…”
“Don’t tell me, I know all too well,” Eleanor sighed. “Whose shoulder do you think they cry on when Curry’s out of earshot? Sixteen hour days, no time off, hurting feet, no booze because Curry won’t let them drink on roundup, machinery breaking down…I’ve heard it all, and I will again. But I understand Curry to say it was already going on; he invited Amanda down to watch the branding.”
“Of those new ones he just bought, probably,” Jim reminded her. “I’ll bet he called Terry over to check them and give them their shots at the same time.”
“That’s right, he did,” she replied. “Oh, gosh, I knew things were going too smoothly. I’ve got to live through roundup before I get out of here!”
“If we broke your leg, you wouldn’t be any more use to him,” he said thoughtfully.
“Oh, no,” she returned. “I need both legs to keep out of his way!”
“What’s he been up to, Norie?” he asked darkly.
“Just his usual incorrigible temper,” she lied calmly. “I’d better get off this thing and get dressed. Want to go back to the club tonight and give the lady another charge?” She grinned.
He paused. “Why not? Let her see what she’s missing.” He chuckled.
Jim was more outgoing than usual, and Eleanor found herself laughing as she hadn’t in weeks. The club was crowded, but not so much so that she couldn’t see Jim’s pretty blonde shooting curious glances their way.
“She’s hooked,” Eleanor told Jim, darting a glance toward the blonde two tables over. “I’m getting vicious green-eyed looks.”
“You don’t mind?” he asked quietly.
Both narrow eyebrows went up, and she smiled. “If I did, would I be here?”
He smiled back. His dark eyes twinkled. “Isn’t she a dream, Norie?” he asked.
“Now, Jim, I’m not that interested in girls,” she told him.
“Oh, hell, you know what I mean!”
She laughed. “Yes, she is a dream. For heaven’s sake, why don’t you ask her out? Are you afraid of her?”
He shifted restlessly in his chair. “I guess maybe I am, a little.” He sighed. “I’m not a young man any more, Norie, and I’ve got a son. There are a lot of women who’d mind that combination.”
“And a lot more who wouldn’t.” She leaned forward. “I dare you.”
“Norie, I can’t.”
“I double dog dare you.”
“But, I….”
“I double-double dog dare you.”
He threw down his napkin. “That does it, no man alive could refuse a double-double dog dare! But if I come back bleeding, it’ll be your fault.”
“I’ll put on the tourniquet,” she promised faithfully.
She watched him out of the corner of her eye as he walked up to the table where the fragile looking blonde was sitting alone and bent over to speak to her. She saw the look on the girl’s face, and something inside her relaxed. That beaming, tender look the blonde was giving Jim said more than a volume. Eleanor smiled involuntarily and turned her attention back to her supper.
All Jim talked about on the way back to the ranch was Elaine and how sweet she was and how a
mazing his luck was that she’d finally agreed to go out with him.
“And what do you mean, finally,” Eleanor chuckled. “You never asked her before, you big old shy maverick.”
“Thanks, Norie.” He sighed. “You’ll never know…”
“Yes, I do,” she protested, “and you’re very welcome. What are friends for?”
“To help each other, it looks like.” He pulled up in front of the ranch house and switched off the engine. “I only wish there was some way I could help you besides giving you a job.”
“I’m fine, Jim, really,” she said, twisting her purse in her hands. “Just…a little worn, and time will fix that. I may not stay with you for a long time, you know,” she added gently. “I’m not sure where I want to go yet. I’ve never given any thought to a future beyond this place,” she said, gesturing toward the Matherson property. “Now, I have to decide what I want to do with my life. You know, I’ve only just realized that there are things beside ranch work that I could do. I could work for lawyers, or doctors, or I could go back to school. I could even train for an entirely new profession—go to a technical school, or train on the job. The world is opening up for me.”
“It won’t bother you to leave here?” he asked shrewdly.
She looked down at her darkened lap. “I didn’t say that. But time heals most wounds, even the kind Curry Matherson dishes out. I’ll live. People do.”
He tilted her face up to his eyes in the dim light that came from the front porch.
“Curry’s a damned fool,” he said quietly. “Amanda will never make the kind of wife he needs. She’ll be sick of the ranch in two weeks, and back to Houston to recuperate. Unless I miss my guess, she’ll live there and leave Curry here and he’ll have to come to Houston just to get to see her. She’ll never adapt.”
She shrugged. “He loves her,” she said simply.
“No, he doesn’t. He wants her, which is something you’d have to be a man to understand. It’s a kind of burning thirst that usually gets quenched after one good sip. But she’ll keep him hanging until the ring’s on her finger, and then it’ll be too late to go back.” He sighed. “Curry’s not the kind of man to back out of a deal once he’s given his word. That includes marriage. No, he’ll stick it out. He’s too bullheaded to cry quits.”