by K. I. Lynn
“How are you feeling?” Jack asked once we were seated, menus in hand.
My right leg bounced in agitation. I hated being out, and even more so with someone I loved. And while Jack’s hair may have gone completely white over the last few years, I knew they knew what he was to me.
“Like shit.” No sense in saying I was fine.
“Migraines still causing you problems?” he asked.
I scoffed at him. “Jack, if it was just migraines, I could deal, but I’m in pain every single moment of the day. A good day for me is for it to be a low hum that I might be able to ignore.”
I pulled out a cigarette and lit it, earning a glare from the woman next to me. What the fuck ever.
“I have a proposition for you.”
I shook my head and released the smoke. “No.”
“You met with me. You might as well hear it.”
I shook my head, my jaw tensing as I glanced around. “I shouldn’t have come.”
“Nate…”
“It’s not safe. I can’t…I won’t be responsible…” A wave of nausea rolled over me as flashes of Grace popped into the forefront of my mind.
“You’re not responsible for what happened to Grace. They are.”
I shook my head. “It’s my fault, Jack. I should be with them, but instead, I’m fucking walking on this fucking planet like the fucking bionic man, trapped in hell when I should be six feet under. I was dead, and I should have stayed dead.”
He pursed his lips, his brow scrunching as he linked his fingers in front of him. Looking up, he steeled his blue eyes to mine. “Then everyone would be safe? Is that why you’re saying that?”
My jaw ticked, and I gave a small nod. “It’s the truth.”
He blew out a sigh and leaned back in his chair. “No, it’s your paranoia. Nate, I’m worried about you. This isn’t what Grace would want for you.”
“Grace would want to not be…” Fuck, I couldn’t even say the word with her name. My wife was dead, but Grace… she was still alive, even if it was only in my cold, dead heart.
“My daughter may be dead, but my son is sitting in front of me, and he needs help,” Jack said, his hand reaching up to wipe at his eyes. He pulled an envelope out from inside his suit jacket and placed it on the table in front of me. “I have a position that I think would be good for you.”
I shook my head. There was no way. I couldn’t do it. Leaning forward, I rested my forearms on the table. “Jack, I can’t go back into the courtroom. I tried, remember?” It was a fucking disaster. I lasted two weeks after the accident. After that was when I pulled away. I sold our house, all of our things, and did my best to stay away from everyone I loved.
“This isn’t litigation.”
Not litigation? I quirked a brow at him. “What, you want me to be fucking support?”
“Transactional attorney,” he said, confirming my suspicion. “You’ll mostly be going through contracts to make sure there are no loopholes and everything is correct. Secluded, only a client here and there as you explain to them what they see as a foreign language.”
I took another drag and held it in. It wasn’t the position for me, but then again, I was far off from the man I was.
“Sounds like busy work.”
“What else are you doing with your time?”
Fuck, he got me there.
The waiter took our order of drinks and food, giving me a buffer of time, but that didn’t stop Jack from staring me down.
“My license lapsed, and I haven’t done continuing education in years. There’s just no way.”
Jack held up his hand. “I’m not talking about now. The position is currently filled.”
I scrunched my brow and let out a stunted laugh. “Then why are you offering it up?”
“Because I hope that I will have grounds to fire her soon or that she will quit.”
“That bad? How long has she been in the position?” I asked.
“Four years, but between the two of them, I’d much rather keep the other woman who’s been doing it two years.”
“Other woman?” I asked, then paused as the way he worded it clicked. “Wait, it’s a partnered position?”
“Don’t worry. Delilah works very hard and is very dedicated to her job.”
Delilah? What kind of name was that? How old was she? The name alone sounded ancient, especially since she was obviously born before the song that made it a popular name again. Grace once had it on her list of names for girls, along with a hundred others.
Maybe Delilah moved to the position as a transition from the courtroom.
“There’s time, but please, think about it, Nate. I really think it would be good for you.”
I nodded and agreed to at least do that. As we ate, the idea grew on me, festered under my skin. The idea of working with the law again perked up a forgotten part of me.
After eating and getting updates on the rest of the Holloways, we loaded back into Jack’s car and back to his office.
“Mary wants you to come to dinner.”
I shook my head.
He glanced over and grimaced. “Yeah, that’s what I told her. She misses you. We all do.”
All. The Holloways were my second family from the time I was nineteen—brothers, parents, cousins, aunts and uncles.
“Maybe once you’ve agreed to take the position, I can then convince you to come to a celebratory dinner.”
“I don’t celebrate anything,” I said. Celebrations were nothing but a reminder of what I lost.
Jack nodded. “Right.”
“But I might be convinced to come to a regular dinner.” For Mary.
His lips twitched up into a small smile. “She’d like that.”
After pulling into a parking spot, we exited his car. I stepped around to say goodbye before heading back to the emptiness of my apartment.
I held out my hand, and Jack narrowed his eyes on me before opening up his arms.
“They’re not going to kill me over a hug,” he said.
Stepping forward, I wrapped my arms around him. Enveloped in the arms of another person was almost foreign, but my body hadn’t forgotten how good such a small sign of affection could be.
“Think it over, and I’ll give you a call in a few days. Sound good?” Jack asked as he pulled back.
I nodded. “I’ll think about it.”
He headed back into his office, and as I walked back to my car, I found my gaze searching for the woman from before—my enigma. It was best she wasn’t there anyway. Better to forget I’d even seen her. Then again, taking Jack up on his offer could result in bumping into her.
Part of me was excited for that, my beast, but the rest of me closed the door on any more thoughts of her.
Climbing into my car, I turned it on and rolled all the windows down to let the hot air out. I sat there, thinking more and more about his offer.
Jack had me by the balls—what the fuck else was I going to do with my time? Just fucking sit around and wait to die? Fucking die of boredom, but at least his way I’d be doing something I once loved, or at least something in the same vein.
My whole life was going to have to change, starting from the outside, if I took him up on his offer. Effort would need to be exerted, strength I hadn’t called upon in years, and I would need help from my parents.
I stared into the vanity mirror at my tired eyes and dull expression. Could I even put on a front for eight plus hours a day? Every once in a while was fine, but was it possible to do it all day, every day? If I dug deep enough, called upon the person I was before Marconi and the accident, maybe. Back when I had strength, was cocky as fuck, and charismatic.
It was the only way working at Holloway and Holloway was even a possibility.
Grabbing my phone, I swiped at the screen and pulled up a number a good son would call more often. The phone ringing resonated in my ear, and I waited for someone to pick up.
“Hello?” the familiar male voice said.
�
��Hey, Dad.”
“Nathan? How are you?”
“Another bad day,” I said with a sigh.
“Anything I can do to help?”
Yeah, I’d been that much of a shit of a son that my own father was chomping at the bit for any interaction with me.
It’s better this way, the beast reminded me.
“Are you free? I’d like to come over.”
I didn’t really want to, but if I was going to take Jack up on his offer, I needed their help. Starting from scratch wasn’t going to be easy.
“I’ll be home in ten minutes.”
“Thanks, Dad. I’ll see you soon.”
I hung up the phone and stared out the window for a moment before throwing the car into drive. Maybe I could do it, but maybe I couldn’t. Maybe I should talk to Darren.
Either way, I was giving it the most serious consideration of anything since I woke up from the coma. Something that threw me into the world instead of away from it, and that alone was anxiety inducing.
CHAPTER 3
Six months later…
I sat in my car.
New car. New suit. New home.
New life.
Almost.
The old one still haunted me, lurked around every corner.
It took Jack hours of back and forth to convince me to take his offer, but in the end, I relented, with conditions. No litigation—that was key. I couldn’t do litigation again. Checking to make sure the verbiage was correct and there were no loopholes in contracts? That I could do.
It had taken six months of paperwork and Continuing Legal Education courses to get my license reinstated after having dropped off the face of the earth. In that time, the woman Jack had talked about firing up and left them high and dry one day. He was furious, and helped me get things moving faster.
My heart raced, hands shaking as I sat there waiting for the numbers on the clock to change. Every part of me wanted to run away. But what would I be running to? Back to the black hole I’d been living in for years? At least there was a good chance my mind would be pulled away from my hell.
The parking lot was still pretty empty when a sedan pulled up beside me. I glanced over out of habit, and my eyes widened beneath my sunglasses.
It was her.
The blonde woman I’d seen months ago in the same parking lot. The enigma.
I couldn’t help but stare, watching as she threw her hair up into a bun. The frown as she noticed something I wasn’t able to see. Couldn’t look away when she lifted her hips, dragging her skirt up to her waist. Her thumbs hooked into her pantyhose and pushed them down over her fuck-perfect round ass.
Holy fuck.
My cock was as hard as steel in seconds.
Inch by inch, more smooth, pale skin was revealed as she slid the pantyhose down her legs. She was so innocent looking while doing something so provocative.
Her gaze caught mine, and I couldn’t stop my lip twitching up into a smirk. My dick strained against my pants as a blush spread over her skin.
I then startled when she flipped me the bird before climbing out and walking away.
My enigma was cheeky.
Fuck.
Fucking fuck.
I was fucking screwed if she was anywhere fucking near me in the building.
Holloway and Holloway had a non-fraternization policy that I had no interest in breaching. It was one of the reasons I agreed to take on the position.
There was no getting close to anyone because there were consequences. Lives that I would not allow to be lost due to me.
After those sobering thoughts, my dick had thankfully gone down and I headed in to find Jack. Part of our arrangement was that no one who knew me was to speak a word about who I was or how Jack and I knew each other.
As fresh of a start as I could get.
The elevator was packed, and when I got off a familiar face smiled at me, then looked around before going into a neutral expression.
“It’s all right, Cassie,” I said to Jack’s secretary.
She gave me a small smile. “Go on in. He’s waiting for you.”
I nodded to her. Grabbing hold of the handle, I pulled it open, which happened to be just as Jack was pushing it to step out.
“Ah, there you are.”
“Am I late?” I asked.
He shook his head. “No, no, of course not. I was hoping you’d be a bit early so that I could introduce you to your partner before the announcement.”
I held my arm out. “Lead the way.”
We headed to the stairwell, which surprised me. He looked back at me as we ascended the stairs.
“Mary says I need to get more exercise.”
My mother-in-law.
It left me wondering if working there with all the reminders was really going to work.
I tried to smile at him. Faked one, then forced it to look natural.
When we reached the landing, I took in a steadying breath and brushed it all away. The accident, my family, Marconi—pushed aside.
New life.
New beginning.
All channeling the old me.
The one that got me just about anything I wanted. The one I channeled every time I went out to the bar in search of a fuck.
I stood behind Jack as he called a woman in a larger office over. The beast perked up as I noticed the way her voice seemed forced, fake. Much like a voice used over the phone.
“I wanted to introduce you to your new roommate before the announcement was made.” Jack stepped aside and ushered me in.
Fuck.
Standing before me was none other than my enigma.
Her mouth popped open, strangely beautiful gray-green eyes wide as she stared at me. It was unnerving, because it felt like she was seeing past the façade.
Fuck.
Not her.
Anyone but her.
“This is Nathan Thorne. He’ll need your guidance until he’s acclimated to how we operate. Please take good care of him.”
“Delilah, was it?” I smirked at her, just as I had in the parking lot, hoping for the same reaction.
Not wanting to be rude, I held out my hand. It took a beat too long for her to slip hers into mine. A stiff, formal shake, neither wanting to give anything away.
Then we parted, Jack and I heading out.
My hands shaking, heart racing, the beast inside drooling.
Fuck.
The cheeky little enigma was my office mate.
I wanted to fuck her.
Fuck her so hard bent over her desk.
Lusting after my off-limits coworker was a shitty way to start a new job. Hopefully the non-fraternization policy would be enough to keep me in check. Maybe I could make sure she stayed away.
Whatever I had to do to keep my distance.
After hours of announcements, meeting people, filling out forms, and a long lunch with Jack, I returned to my new workspace. The one that held her.
“Have a good lunch?” I asked as I glanced down at the half-eaten sandwich sitting next to her along with an unopened bag of chips.
She looked up from her screen, a bit surprised, but after months of quiet, I was sure she was in for a change as well.
“Are you here for the rest of the afternoon?” she asked, skipping over any pleasantries.
I nodded and moved over to the bare desk on the other side of hers. They’d taken two U-shaped configurations with hutches and pushed them together, leaving room for a few filing cabinets between the desk and the wall. Add in a fake tree, a small bookshelf, and two chairs for guests, and what once was a good-sized conference room didn’t have a lot of room for anything else.
“Yes. Jack said you would help me get set up.”
With a heavy sigh, she nodded and saved whatever she was working on. She stood and maneuvered her chair to my side of the room, slipping it next to my own.
It was my perfect opportunity to test her and to find a way to turn her off from me. If she felt even a little attraction to
me, things were going to be bad, because after five minutes I was already having trouble keeping my hands off her.
She’s fucking ruining this.
Touch her.
Shut up.
I couldn’t stop staring at her as she explained Holloway’s intranet, the beast going wild with all the positions to fuck her in. Luckily I could pass off my staring as paying attention.
“Okay, so here’s the path to the shared drive. All documents have to be saved out on this drive for backup purposes.”
She was leaning across me, dangerously close, directing the mouse around the screen.
Jesus-fucking-Christ.
Touch her.
Shut the fuck up! I slammed my hands against the cage in my mind, eyes locked with his. Wide pupils, his irises almost glowing blue.
The fucking lust for her was fucking me up. I couldn’t think straight. “You know, you don’t have to climb all over me to get my attention. Lifting your skirt works very well.”
I smirked at her, made her remember our encounter that morning. The beast waited to see her reaction. First, there was a jaw tick, but no blush of her cheeks.
Instead, her head dropped and she pulled away from me. “Sorry, I didn’t realize there were any voyeurs around. Next time, I’ll lock myself up in an empty room to spare you.”
She rolled her eyes and attempted to move on, but her words made me and the beast stare at her, unable to understand what she meant.
I cocked my brow at her in confusion. “Spare me?” From what, getting hard?
There was no way she knew how much of a temptation she was to me, and the tone of her voice implied something darker.
“Yes. Temptation is the road to Hell, or at least that’s what I hear.”
Shit. She couldn’t have gotten that any more right if she tried. I smirked at her again, my temptress. “You think I’m tempted by you?”
She blinked at me, her neutral expression shifted to anger. “No, but I don’t want to give you the opportunity to be tempted by me.”
“Why so hostile?” I asked, pushing her further. I had to make space between us, take away any interest she might have. Better for the lust pumping through me to be one way. It would dissipate in time, but I didn’t need her teasing me while the high wore off.