by D. C. Gambel
“No, but I think you were harsher than necessary.”
“Harsher? You realize what was on the line every time he stepped into that ring? God knows how many fights he was involved in.”
“Do you mean Derek’s life or the group?”
“Evie they’re the same. It was stupid of him to jeopardize the group by risking his life.”
“Cam we risk our lives all the time. I risked my life to save yours. What about that?” He knew I was referring to our brief time in hell.
“And I told you how stupid that was.”
“You’re right. But I didn’t care.”
“It’s still different, Evie. You weren’t intentionally seeking out trouble the way Derek did. What if someone he killed has a friend that didn’t take too kindly to having his or her buddy killed for sport? That could come back on all of us. And if he puts you at risk like that—he won’t have to worry about entering the ring for a fight because I’ll beat him within an inch of his life if any harm comes to you for his poor decisions.”
When we pulled up Derek and Ty were already there. Cam and I exited in silence having said all we needed in the car. Entering the house, Ty came into view leaning over the bar in the kitchen with his head resting in his palms.
“Where is he?” Cam asked.
Ty sighed. “Bathroom cleaning up his wounds.”
“Did he explain anything?” Cam wondered, but I was barely listening deciding to seek out Derek to offer a hand. I didn’t know how hurt he was. Sure we healed fast—but depending on how much energy he depleted—and judging by the demon he fought, I’d say a lot—the longer it would take for him to heal.
I’d never been in Derek and Ty’s bathroom. There’d never been a need since I had my own that I shared with Cam at the opposite end of the hall. It looked like a mirrored version of ours. Derek stood in front of the sink, shirtless, attempting to clean an angry gash on his back.
“Here,” I offered stepping into the tiny space.
“I can—” he began but I took the cloth covered in antiseptic before he could finish his protest and lightly dabbed at the wound. “If you’re here to lay into me…”
“I’m not.” I pressed onto the injury letting the solution sink into it. “You’re a grown man, Derek. You don’t need to be berated like a child. You already know all the reasons why we think what you were doing was reckless.”
“We or Cam?” he asked snidely.
“We,” I reiterated. “I’m not sure what Ty said, but you know he agrees. What were you thinking?” I stepped to the side so we could see each other in the mirror.
“That’s just it, Evie. I wasn’t. For the first time in weeks, I was able to close off my mind and just let my instinct take over. It was liberating. It’s what we’re made to do. To fight evil.”
“But that’s not what you were doing, Derek. You were fighting for entertainment.”
“Entertainment for the crowd, sure, but for me it was something else.”
“And you’re done.” I shrugged with my lips pursed. “Just like that?”
“I got what I needed.”
“What did you need?” I wondered.
“You out of my head,” he said but his eyes dropped from mine in the mirror. Clearing my throat, I returned to his injuries cleaning all the ones on his back so they’d heal faster.
Once finished, I set the cloth on the countertop. “So,” I whispered nervously. “We’re okay then?”
Derek smirked and nodded. “I’m sorry if I made you feel like any of what I was going through was your fault. It wasn’t. It was me. I know you love Cam and even if you didn’t, I’d always put the team first. Fighting was the one time I didn’t, but even that I justified by telling myself that one less demon was still getting the job done. But yeah, we’re okay, Evie. I hope we can get back to the way things were in the beginning.”
I smiled. It was small and tight, but still hopeful. “Me too.”
Chapter 15
“You’re sure you don’t want me to gear up and go with you?” I asked for the umpteenth time as I sat on the bed watching Cam load up.
He smirked and I was surprised I hadn’t annoyed him with my continuous pestering. He seemed to find it…endearing.
“I told you, I’ll be fine.”
Cam was heading to the Red Room and I couldn’t help but feel anxious about the whole thing. I didn’t know why but something felt off. Having heard rumors of an influx of vampire activity at the club, he and Derek were heading to check it out. Our concern was if we heard about the activity, then it wouldn’t be long before the vampire council picked up that tidbit too. Ty and I had worked the night before and Cam couldn’t exactly ask the Horseman of Pestilence to work another shift if he was refusing to allow me. I hated the idea of them going into the vampire club knowing what I knew about the place.
I was curious how Maya’s need to build an army connected with Shane. Was Shane planning on using the army? Were the two connected and if so to what end?
“I’m sorry,” I sighed feeling like the clingy girlfriend I never wanted to be. He was aware of why I was being persistent, but assured me that he and Derek could handle the situation. After seeing our fellow horseman in action during his time in the ring, I had no doubt that he could, but the numbers were still against them. Cam had taken down a small horde of vampires with his new gift, but no matter how hard he tried, he still hadn’t recreated the incident. So I couldn’t rely on him to do it again if the situation turned dire.
“Don’t be. You’re the first person who’s cared enough about me to…” he frowned then quickly shook it off replacing his earlier smirk, but it wasn’t quite as energetic as it had been. I knew Cam’s history. His gift for war had driven his parents apart only to later be the cause of his mother’s death. He carried the same guilt I did where our powers were concerned. “We’ll be gone for a few hours,” he stated cupping my cheek. “Get’s some rest because I plan on cashing in on that debt you owe me when I get home.”
My face redden remembering the debt he spoke of. It was my own fault it occurred. He’d taken me with him to clear out a nest of pixies. I’d done my research even though I’d never come across a being from the Fae world, I was pretty confident. Little did I know that the little bastards had been cast out of Faerie because they were crossbreed with imps as some kind of experiment and had developed a taste for flesh. Even now I rubbed absentmindedly the invisible bite marks. Cam and I had made a deal as to how long it would take and the difficulty of the mission. I’d been wrong on both accounts. I partially wondered if Cam had been aware of the pixies’ unique situation before we arrived.
They had taken up residence in the garage of an elder couple. The woman was a practitioner and knew what she was housing, or at least suspected. They’d managed to trap the suckers before she’d contacted us. When the situation turned on us, my combined gift with Cam’s was out because we couldn’t risk the couple or their very human neighbor. The pixies didn’t learn. As one after another of their comrades bit or touched me they’d immediately died, but the others continued charging.
I wanted to feign that the debt was a hassle, but I couldn’t help but bite my lips with anticipation. “Promise?”
“I do,” he whispered, his voice coming out in almost a growl before he claimed my lips in a quick but searing kiss.
With a sigh, I watched him depart unable to shake the nagging feeling that everything was about to change.
Ty and I hung out watching movies, when it became clear that I was distracted, he offered to play X-box with me, which surprisingly none of the guys enjoyed. I kindly accepted his offer even though it was the last thing I wanted to do. Ty was a novice and yet he was dominating me. After he killed me for the fifth time he paused the system.
“Alright what’s going on and don’t you dare say nothing. I’m not oblivious, Evie. Something is clearly bothering you.”
I shrugged, unsure if my explanation would make any sense. “I just have th
is feeling that something isn’t right. I know it sounds ridiculous Ty, but I can’t shake it. I didn’t want Cam to go to the Red Room. I tired to convince him to let me go when I couldn’t persuade him not to.”
“Did you tell him you had a bad feeling?”
I scoffed. “Of course, but a feeling isn’t a legitimate argument.”
“I don’t know, Evie. I think intuition is nothing to snuff at. No one can explain it. Some times a feeling is an indicator, but other times it just our own anxiety getting the better of you. Are you sure this doesn’t have more to do with Cam working with Derek?”
This was the second time the two had worked together since we discovered Derek fighting for sport. The first hadn’t ended well with them arguing over things that were no longer relevant.
“I don’t know. I am tired of everything being so tense. It seems like it’s the way things have been since I moved in. Is it me, Ty? Am I a drama magnet?”
It was his turn to scuff. “Of course not. Those two have always been exact opposites. They head-butted long before you joined us. So don’t you dare blame any of this on yourself. You’ve turned Cam into a real human being and shown Derek there is more to life than just being a horseman. Your coming along has only been for the positive.”
Sleep took forever to come to me that night. I tossed and turned. After the fifth time of checking my phone for the time, I moved it across the room. It was barely after midnight. I knew the club was just getting warmed up. Vampires weren’t bond by the sun but their preference for the nocturnal was where the legends stemmed. Most slept during the day, so it made for a later start on their party scenes.
Eventually I fell into a restless sleep. When I woke, the sun was seeping through a sliver of the curtains. Smiling that I had managed some sleep, I reached over for Cam a little disappointed, but grateful, that he hadn’t woken me like he promised after the struggle I went through to keep my eyes close.
My lids flew open with I felt nothing but cold sheets. I sat up, then relaxed when I saw him settled on my side of the bed. His back was to me as he sat on the edge. I wondered how long he’d been up. He didn’t normally wait for me like that. If anything, he’d wake me gently with roaming hands and well placed kisses. Or he’d let me sleep by sneaking downstairs.
Smiling, I ran my hand up his back. My brow knitted when I felt his muscles tense under my touch.
“Hey,” I breathed before taking in his appearance. He still wore the same clothes he had the night before. “Did you just get in?” Noticing his rigid posture, I let my gaze rake over him once more. “Cam,” I breathed feeling suddenly nervous. Did something happen? I didn’t see blood or injuries. Besides some wrinkles in his clothes he seemed perfectly intact. “What’s wrong?”
His body didn’t relax. If anything he grew even more rigid. “Do you know how much I love you?” The ominous tone sent my heart racing.
“Cam, you’re scaring me. Please just tell me what’s wrong.”
“That’s the thing, Evie. I don’t know.” He rested his head in his palms looking broken.
“What?”
Looking up he kept his eyes forward as he spoke. “I remember being at the club with Derek. We’d been noticing how many vampires wore Maya’s mark. The numbers had increased since our last visit so we requested a meeting with her second and where waiting.” His brow pinched as he struggled to remember.
“Did you ever meet with him?” I asked.
He shook his head. “I don’t remember. Everything else is blank until this morning.” He turned and I was able to see his face for the first time since I woke. Black circles surrounded his blue eyes that appeared dull almost as if the spark that made him Cam was dimmed. “I’m so sorry, Evie.” He appeared on the verge of breaking.
“Sorry?” I cupped his face trying to draw him to me when I saw the lipstick mark on his neck. I swallowed hard to prevent myself from being sick letting my hand fall away. “Cam?” I whispered praying that the thoughts swarming through my head were wrong.
“Evie,” he mimicked but instead the one word was heavy with remorse. My heart broke. I began pulling away. “No, Evie, please.” Cam grabbed my hand before I could move more than a few inches, tugging me back into his lap until I straddled him. His nearness only confused me, but it didn’t prevent me from trying to wiggle away. “I swear Evie, it meant nothing.” He explained countering every move I made to escape him as my emotions swelled to a breaking point. “I love you.”
“How can you say that?” I demanded as the first tears began to streak down my face. I didn’t bother to hide them. I wanted him to know how much he hurt me. It was my greatest fear come to life. All the questions that always lingered in the back of my head came flooding forward. Was I not enough for him? Was he just incapable to be in a monogamous relationship?
“Because it’s true, Evie. I fucking love you.” He placed his forehead against my chest even as I fought against him. “I don’t know what happened. I can’t remember anything. You have to know that I would never do anything to hurt you.” He lifted his head up peering at me with his blue eyes. The gold flecks sparkled with hope and I could see he meant the words, but it didn’t matter.
“Yet you did. You did hurt me Cam, whether you meant to or not.”
“Please, Evie.” I could see the hope dwindling down as he spoke. “I have no memories of last night. I woke up this morning in an unfamiliar room wearing my boxers next to a woman I don’t know.”
I fought harder to escape him. “I don’t want to hear about what happened, Cam!” I spat. His grip on me loosened just enough that I fumbled out of his lap and was on the other side of the bed putting it between us before he realized what happened. “I need you to go.”
“Evie,” he sighed, and I could see he was hurting as much as I was. Part of me wanted to go to him, to comfort him, but he did this. He broke us.
“I can’t, Cam.” I held on to what composure remained even as tears trailed down my cheeks. “I can’t see you right now. I need you to go.” He stood and began to approach but I quickly backed away keeping the same distance between us. “If you truly care, you’ll respect that I need space.” He froze mid-step. I could see he was torn with doing as I requested and what he wanted. In the end, he stepped back putting more distance between us.
Nodding reluctantly, “I’ll go and give you space, but understand, Evie, I’m not giving up on us. I messed up, I know, but you’re it for me. Even if it takes until the end of time, I’ll earn your forgiveness.” With that he turned on his heels towards the door. He hesitated briefly before twisting the knob and exiting.
I waited for what felt like hours before I crumbled where I stood and let the pain and loss I felt take over and stream down my cheeks feeling myself retch with sobs.
I don’t know how long I sat there, but eventually the tears stopped flowing and dried on my face. Quickly dressing, I could no longer be in the room anymore. It was Cam’s room before I moved in. Even though we shared it, it still felt like his and everything there was a constant reminder of him.
Grabbing my phone, I realized I wasted most of my day grieving over a relationship that I had never been sure Cam ever wanted.
Unaware of how much the others knew, and not in the mood to get into it, stealthily, I snuck down the stairs. It seemed my prayers were answered as I made it to the kitchen completely undetected. Scanning where the keys were kept by the back door I noticed all three sets belonging to the guys were gone, which meant that not only was I alone, but unable to leave unless I called Uber to come take me away. Even then, where would I go? Charlie was at work, not that she wouldn’t leave if I asked, but I wasn’t ready to talk about what happened just yet. The hurt was still to raw.
I peered up to the top of the fridge where several bottles of liquor rested. Grabbing the whiskey, I reached for a glass when I considered how wasteful that was and instead decided to drink from the bottle.
I mentally began making a list of things I needed to do. Fir
st and foremost was move back into my old room. That thought alone brought on a new wave of heartache.
I was almost to the bottom when I heard the clatter of keys alerting me to someone’s arrival. I tensed unsure if I was ready to see anyone, and in the same breath prayed it was anyone other than Cam.
“Evie?” Derek called out. I didn’t budge to acknowledge him. He rounded the couch where I sat clenching the bottle in my hand until he stepped into my vision.
“I bet you’re here for an I told you so,” I slurred. It was the first time I’d spoken since my drinking rampage began. I hadn’t been aware of how much the whiskey was affecting me on my empty stomach.
I didn’t look up but I could almost feel the pity coming off of him. “I’m not sure what you mean, but even if I did, you know I would never belittle you like that. So,” he sat on the couch next to the sofa where I sat so we were near each other but not side by side. Reaching for the whiskey bottle, he tried to pry it from me, but I held firm. It was mine, and the only thing muting my hurt at the moment. “Why don’t you tell me what drove you to day drinking?”
I scoffed. “Like you don’t know.”
“Evie, if I did, I wouldn’t insult you by asking you to explain.”
Taking another swig from the bottle, I uttered one word. “Cam.”
“Ah,” Derek sighed resting his elbows on his knees.
“You know?” I wondered, eyeing him. He’d been out with Cam. Did he help him cheat on me?
“No, but when it comes to Cam, I’m sure you have your reasons.”
“He cheated on me,” I stated taking another swig.
“What?” he asked disbelieving.
I nodded feeling a tear I thought I had finished shedding slip down my face. “God I feel stupid.”
“You’re not stupid, Evie. A little drunk, but defiantly not stupid.” He scooted closer to where our two separate sofas touched, but made no move to touch me. “What do you need?”