Because I Love You

by Amy Brent

  I shouldn’t give a shit what he was doing.

  “Did you have a good time?” I asked.

  “Oh, these things get old after a while. But I’m a co-owner in the business so it doesn’t look good if I don’t show up. You know how your father is sometimes,” she said. “But don’t you worry about little Caleb here. I’ll bring him to the show tonight so he doesn’t miss his mommy’s big show. We wouldn't want that, would we? No we wouldn’t. Mommy’s gonna look so pretty, isn’t she Caleb?”

  She sat down and started feeding Caleb as my heart sped up. They were coming? To the show? Were all of them coming? I didn’t have a contingency plan for this. I didn’t understand this was going to be a family affair. It was only another show. I’d done plenty of them in my career for them to come see. Why was this one suddenly so important?”

  I tried to push everything from my mind as I kissed Caleb’s head. I hugged my mom tight and thanked her for everything, then told her not to bother about the show. If Caleb was cranky or gassy, it wouldn’t hurt my feelings at all if he didn’t show up.

  But that didn’t deter them from coming.

  The fashion show went well. All of the outfits I was in drew everyone’s attention and there was a ton of press there my manager was trying to field. Cameras were going off in every direction and my body was covered in flashes. Christopher was backstage, trying to make sure we all remembered the changes made to the routine. But each time I caught his eye I could see him linger on me a little longer than the rest.

  Served him fucking right.

  I walked down the aisle in six different outfits. That meant potentially thousands of pictures that would be posted everywhere for the world to see. From magazines to tabloids to people’s personal social media accounts. Not to mention I’d get formal and professional copies of everything to post on my accounts to link back to the designer. I’d be able to leverage all of this into a substantial growth in my career, and my manager felt the same way.

  “You were phenomenal,” he said. “Fucking fantastic.”

  “Thanks, Pierre,” I said, with a broad smile.

  “I’m working with the designer to secure you three of those outfits in particular. Your Instagram account has over two million followers, right?” he asked.

  “Three million as of last night.”

  “Holy. Shit. Perfect. And Twitter?”

  “Three and a half,” I replied, with a grin.

  “I’m going to leverage your outreach to get you some of those outfits. You’ll have to wear them somewhere and post pictures, but it’ll all be free and will get you a great deal of exposure in the process.”

  “Make sure the designer re-blogs and re-tweets things. This kind of exposure is necessary for a career like mine. We have to ride this momentum,” I said.

  “I love working with you. Fabulous, beautiful, and business savvy in your industry. I’ll be right back.”

  Pierre took off to field more press as my family came around the corner. Mom was carrying Caleb while Dad and Justin walked behind her. I embraced them all and took Caleb from my mother’s arms, hoping to heaven and high water that Chris didn’t find us.

  Because if he did, I’d have to tell him I had a child.

  “You were fantastic, sweetie. So beautiful in all those outfits,” my mother said.

  “I liked that high-waisted skirt you wore. The one with the bow? Fantastic on you,” my father said.

  “The evening gown was really nice, too. What was it—red and brown?” Justin asked.

  “The one with the gold shimmer? Yeah, that was my favorite outfit, too. Pierre’s doing his thing right now with the designer. I hope that’s one of the outfits he can get me,” I said.

  “I’m sure he won’t have a problem with it.”

  I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up as Chris came around the corner.

  “You did a good job today,” Chris said.

  “Thanks,” I said. “The choreography seemed to go over well, too.”

  “Christopher?” my mother asked. “I didn’t know you were here.”

  “Of course he is. He’s the one that choreographed the show,” my father said. “Didn’t you know that?”

  “Why didn’t you tell me that this morning, sweetie?” my mother asked.

  I could feel my brother’s eyes on my face as I tried to swallow my nerves.

  “I was tired. Couldn't have any coffee this morning and risk sweating in the middle of the limelight,” I said. “Plus, I was running behind. I didn’t have a lot of time to talk about dad’s party last night.”

  “You missed a good one,” Justin said.

  “Who’s baby is this?” Chris asked.

  I turned my gaze to him as his eyes bounced between my face and Caleb’s.

  “He’s mine of course,” I said plainly.

  I watched his face drop as he parted his lips to speak. I tried to act as cool as possible, though I could tell my family was curious about the interaction. I nodded my head and turned away from him before he got a chance to ruin everything in one fell swoop. And in true Pierre form, he arrived at the perfect moment.

  “Good news, Jessi. I got you four of those outfits. The shirt—but not the blouse, the evening gown, the jumpsuit, and the bathing suit with that wrap you wore,” he said.

  “Oh, that thing was so comfortable. Thank you, Pierre,” I said.

  “I’ll send you the terms of the agreement and have the clothes shipped to your place.”

  “You’re a doll. Thank you so much.”

  “But you might want to use the back exit. The press is stuffed in the front waiting for you, and with little Caleb here, I figured you wouldn’t want to talk to anyone.”

  “Caleb?” Chris asked.

  I turned my gaze to him one last time as Caleb shuffled around in my arms.

  “I should really get him home, you guys. It’s been a long day and after all this excitement, he’s probably ready for a nap,” I said.

  Kissing everyone’s cheeks, we said our goodbyes and they embraced me tightly. My gaze found Chris one last time and I could see the swirl of questions in his mind. His eyes looked down onto Caleb one last time before I turned around, trying to keep my cool and stand my ground as my heart thundered in my chest.

  Why the hell did I feel so guilty? Why was I so scared of what he would think? He was the one that left. He was the one that changed his number without ever giving me a way to contact him. He was the one that left us all high and dry without any idea of what had happened to him.

  But the confusion in his eyes was stuck in my mind, and I couldn't figure out why.

  Chapter 12

  Christopher

  “Hello?” Jessi asked.

  “Hey there, it’s me.”

  “I’m aware that it’s you, Christopher. Your name pops up on my phone when you call.”

  “I was wondering if you were free to meet up for lunch,” I said.

  “I could pull away. Why?” she asked.

  “I wanted to talk. To see you, you know—now that we aren’t officially working together any longer.”

  “I’m surprised you want to see me now that the show is over,” she said.

  “Then—surprise. We can go anywhere you’d like.”

  “Okay. That’s fine. Are you familiar with a place called Blue Collar?”

  “That eclectic place downtown? Yeah, I am,” I said. “Wanna meet there around noon?”

  “Make it twelve-thirty and we’re golden.”

  “Twelve-thirty it is.”

  I wanted to sit down with Jessi and talk. I couldn’t be sure, but I needed to ask her about that baby. The baby that was apparently hers. She had probably been the one her father was talking to on the phone at the party. There was something I couldn’t shake. Something about that child’s eyes.

  There were questions I needed to ask her. Questions that had been rattling around in my head all night. Questions I deserved answers to.

  She walked into
the restaurant looking incredible. She was in the high-waisted skirt from the show last night and had paired it with this beautiful pale yellow off-the-shoulder top. It fit her curves exactly and accentuated everything about her that I enjoyed. Craved. Even dreamed of when my eyes closed.

  But I couldn't think about her body right now. I had important questions I needed to ask her.

  “You look rested,” Jessi said. “Glad to not be hounded by all those women any longer?”

  “Why didn’t you tell me you were a mother?” I asked.

  Her face went blank as she sat down into her chair.

  “I didn’t think the information was important,” she said.

  “We were fucking and you didn’t think it was important?”

  “Yes, because that was all we were doing. Fucking. The last thing I need is a revolving door of men in my son’s life.”

  “How does the father of your child feel about that?” I asked.

  “If I knew who he was, I’d ask him,” she said.

  If she knew who he was? She couldn’t be serious, right? I was the man who had taken her virginity. Shown her levels of ecstasy beyond her wildest imaginations. I’d only been gone a year and a half. She wasn’t going to be able to convince me that she’d become some sort of loose woman who had ended up with a child who had no father.

  I knew Jessi better than that.

  She wasn’t that kind of girl.

  “How old is your son?” I asked.

  “Eight months. Almost nine,” Jessi said.

  “How was your pregnancy? I mean, was it a good one?” I asked.

  “Why do you care?”

  “Because I care about you.”

  “Even though we were simply fucking?” I asked.

  “Has it ever only been ‘simply fucking’ with us?”

  “Hard to tell, since you up and left without a single regard to how it would have made anyone feel.”

  “I had my reasons.”

  “You’ve made that very clear. And I had my reasons for not telling you I had a child.”

  The entire lunch was like that. Back and forth with the anger-filled answers and the vaguely-answered questions. I was frustrated with her, but I couldn't blame her. I had stared at myself long and hard in the mirror last night, and I knew why Caleb’s eyes looked so familiar.

  It was because they were mine. Though I had no proof of that other than my own panic-induced patterns of thought.

  Had I gotten Jessi pregnant? We had been careful, but it was possible. Hell, we were insatiable back then. Fucking each other anywhere we could possibly swing it without her brother figuring it out. Now, her having her guard up only served as more evidence to confirm my suspicions.

  But she was sticking with her story of not knowing who the father was.

  “Jessi?”

  “Yep?”

  “You look lovely in that skirt.”

  Her eyes fluttered up to mine as her cheeks flushed.

  “Thanks. I figured I could get started on the deal I made with the designer,” she said.

  “What deal was that?” I asked.

  “I wear the four outfits he gave me within the next two weeks and post them to my social media accounts. I link back to him, he re-blogs me or whatever, and that gives us both the exposure we’re looking for.”

  “Sounds like you’ve really got it under control,” I said.

  “Always have. It’s the perk of being me.”

  “If I asked if I could come over to your place, would you let me?”

  Her eyes locked with mind and I watched her guard go back up.

  “Why?” Jessi asked.

  “Because I want to spend more time with you, but I’ve got someone cleaning my house right now.”

  It wasn’t a lie. I did have someone there cleaning. But it was only a topical clean and they were probably already gone.

  “I’m going to have my son,” she said.

  “Doesn’t matter to me,” I said.

  “We won’t be able to—you know—”

  “I’m not looking to do anything but continue getting to know you again. Despite our recent encounters, I do want to do that. To catch up on the past couple of years and see how you’ve been,” I said.

  “Uh huh.”

  “You don’t look convinced.”

  “I’m skeptical, but can you blame me?” she asked.

  “Probably not. So?”

  I watched a grin tick her cheek as I slid out from behind the table.

  “Lead the way,” I said.

  We got to her apartment and she sent the nanny home for the day. Jessi instantly switched the mode she was in the moment she saw her son. Her body relaxed and her voice softened. Her guard completely came down as she reached for Caleb in his playpen. She put him over her shoulder and he lifted his head to look at me. In that moment, I knew he was mine.

  Those eyes.

  That smile.

  His hair.

  Holy shit. I’d gotten Jessi pregnant.

  “You tired, sweetheart?” Jessi asked. “Hmm?”

  I watched the little boy’s eyes flutter closed as Jessi placed a kiss to his head. It was mesmerizing, watching her with him. The way her powerful, commanding, confident body softened the fall of this helpless little thing.

  I’d never seen anything like it before.

  “Come on, baby. Let’s go put you down for a nap,” Jessi said.

  I followed her down the hallway as she made her way to his room. I watched her settle him down into bed, rubbing his stomach and singing him a sweet little song. I knew that child was mine. I didn't have any proof and I wasn’t sure if I could get Jessi to admit it, but I knew it in my bones.

  I had a son.

  With Jessi.

  “You said he’s eight months old?” I asked.

  I watched Jessi shut his door before she turned to look at me.

  “Around there. Almost nine now,” she said.

  “He doesn’t look much like you,” I said. “Must mean he looks like his father.”

  “I wouldn't know. I’m sure he’ll grow into some of my features as he gets older.”

  “Did you give birth on time? I mean, did you carry him to full term? He’s a big boy. Means he must be healthy.”

  She turned and looked at me with a wary gaze. She swallowed hard and I could tell she was feeling cornered. For the first time in years, I watched Jessi squirm, and it only served to confirm what I already knew in the back of my mind.

  In the back of my heart.

  “Look, if my having a kid changes—whatever this is—that’s fine. But I feel like I’m being put under a microscope right now and I won’t allow that,” Jessi said.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way.”

  “My parents did that to me enough when I was pregnant. They were pissed when I didn’t tell them who the father was.”

  “So you do know who the father is,” I said.

  “No, but refusing to tell them seemed better than saying I didn’t know who it was,” she said.

  “I don’t believe you,” I said.

  “You don’t have to. It doesn’t change anything.”

  We stood in the hallway as the soft sounds of Caleb sleeping softly filtered through the doorway. He was out like a light as the two of us talked in the hallway. Jessi shuffled on her feet, avoiding my gaze with her eyes. She was nervous, and she had every right to feel that way.

  I just didn’t know why she wouldn't tell me I was the father. What the hell did she think I was going to do? Be upset with her?

  “No,” I said.

  “No what?” Jessi asked.

  “You having a son—it changes nothing. If anything, it makes you a sexy-ass milf,” I said with a grin.

  “You’re relentless, Chris.”

  “Have I ever been anything but?”

  I reached for her hand and took it in mine. Realization of the life she must have led, and the sleepless nights she was enduring by herself. I
t all forced me to see a strength in her I’d never seen before. Despite the unanswered questions and the confusion I was feeling, she was more beautiful to me than ever before. Tall, strong, and blossoming with a beauty I couldn’t put my finger on.

  Until I figured out she was a mother.

  There was something about that fact that shivered my bones. I pulled her close to me, leading her into a kiss as we stood outside of Caleb’s door. He was fast asleep and I could feel Jessi’s body lock up, but I pressed my hands into the small of her back. Keeping her there as fire dripped from my lips.

  “Not here,” Jessi said, breathlessly. “Just—come with me.”

  She pulled me into the room across the hallway before she quietly shut the door. Her hands tugged at the bow on her waist, and I watched the skirt drop to the floor. Despite everything I knew deep down inside, the woman could turn me on at the drop of a hat. I felt my cock pulsing as her thick thighs came into view, and my hands rushed to her body.