by G. Bailey
“You’re not messed-up, and it’s up to me what I want,” I whisper. He doesn’t move for a long time, both of us staring at the fish moving until he looks down at me. The emotion in his eyes is hard to look away from, the way I can see the hurt he is feeling and the doubts running through his eyes. I lean up and kiss him, not caring about what he thinks and what he believes is right. I know what I feel for him, and I want him to know. I push all my feelings for Harley into the kiss, all my worries and everything I know about him.
"Tilly," he sighs when I crawl over and sit on his lap, but he doesn’t stop kissing me back. His lips battle with my own as he loses whatever control he was holding on to. The kissing is finished when the baby kicks, and I know Harley felt it as he looks down where my bump is touching his stomach.
"Can I?" he asks me, and I nod. Harley reaches a hand between us and smooths a hand over the bump. The baby kicks, and he smiles.
"I will be there for you both, I just can’t make you any promises until the final fight is done. I don’t want to hurt you," he tells me, and I understand, in a way, this is his way of keeping some control over his life. Unlike when his life was controlled by his father for all those years.
"No promises." I sigh, and he kisses my forehead. I understand where he is coming from, but it doesn’t mean I’m giving up on Harley King.
Chapter 13
Harley
“Another King win!” my father shouts, holding my hand by the arm as I glare at him. Not that he gives a crap. I look down at the guy on the floor, blood covering most of his face, his nose broken, and only the movement of his chest tells me he is even alive, anymore. I tried not to hurt him too much, but the man wouldn’t give up. He fought like everything in his life depended on it, and I bet it did.
“Get off,” I growl, pulling my arm away and walking out of the cage, slamming the door open to the changing room. I hear his booted footsteps as he follows me in here, but I don’t turn to him.
“I want to tell you something. I have a plan,” he says.
“What?” I snap, looking over my shoulder at him, and he shakes his head. My father looks every bit the rough man I know he is, with his bald head, tattooed neck, and pristine suit. Most people are scared of him with one look, but no one realises just how evil he really is. Evil with a good-looking face.
“Not here,” he says, and I ignore him as I get dressed and wipe the blood off my hands. My lip feels like it needs stitches as it continues to bleed and two of my knuckles feel broken as I undo the bindings. Fucking great. I won’t show him that I’m in pain; show him any weakness. I follow my father out of the changing room, seeing him nod to Arthur, who is sitting at the bar, and then he leads me outside. I don’t say a word as he drives us back to the house. Not a word, and that’s concerning. Fuck knows what crazy plan he has now.
“Wait,” my father says as I try to walk straight up the stairs and to my room. I glance back at him, watching as he walks into the kitchen. I follow him in and see all my brothers sitting around, some eating, and I assume they were talking before our dad came in. They always stop talking when he is here, always scared of his reaction or don’t want a beating. I hate that’s how they have become.
“I’m going to kill Arthur, take over the Cage and the other businesses,” my father says, and I just stare at him.
“You’re mad,” Elliot growls out, and I give him a look that makes him look away. Elliot is the only one who challenges him these days. Sebastian spends as much time as he can away from the house, and Elliot covers for him. I protect them all, especially Luke. He is the most shielded from everything.
“No, I’m not. It’s all planned, and when I’m the boss, not just a fucking partner, you can all work for me. It’s a brilliant plan. I’m going to sleep and think about it,” he says walking out of the room, and we all sit in silence for a long time. I know my father has mental issues, I’ve always known that, but this just proves he is fucking crazy.
“Should we stop him?”
“No,” I say quietly, almost hoping that Arthur figures out what’s going to happen and kills my father. It would be doing us all a favour, and the silence from my brothers suggests they feel the same way.
I shoot up in bed, the sound of someone screaming fills my ears and makes the memory wash away like I always have to when I have these dreams. That night was the start of my father getting himself killed and ultimately screwing us over. I should have stopped him, waited until Luke turned eighteen, and then we all could have run. Instead, our father getting killed made our lives worse. I get out of bed quickly, running across the room and opening my door, hearing that it’s Tilly. I open her door and run into the room, seeing her thrashing around on her bed, the sheets sticking to her as she screams.
“Don’t do this, please don’t, Daniel,” she shouts, and I go over, shaking her shoulder, watching as she suddenly wakes up and jumps.
“Hey, it’s me; it’s Harley,” I say, rubbing a hand down her arm. The moonlight shines through the window and bounces off her pale eyes as she watches me. She looks so scared.
“What . . . what are you doing in here?” she asks me, her voice breathless and scared.
“You were having a bad dream and screaming. I couldn’t just listen to you acting so scared, so I woke you up,” I tell her.
“Oh, I’m sorry I woke you,” she says, rubbing a hand over her pale face and brushing the hair off her face. I hand her the glass of water on the side as I turn the lamp on that’s on her desk. She drinks some of the water before handing me the cup back.
“Don’t be, you’re not the only one that has bad dreams, Siren,” I say, and she nods, understanding clouding her face.
“Want to talk about it?” I ask her after a moment’s silence.
“Maybe? I don’t know. Does it help you to talk about it?” she asks me, rubbing a hand over her stomach.
“I don’t know. I don’t talk about my past to anyone,” I tell her. The most I’ve spoken about my past is to Tilly.
“You should. I mean you could talk to me, I’m your friend,” she says. I don’t want to haunt her with my past, and re-living it never seems to help me.
“Have you felt any kicks?” I ask her, changing the subject, and she nods.
“He or she kicks all the time,” she tells me. I lift a hand and place it on her stomach, listening as her breath hitches, and I look up to meet her eyes. I don’t feel the baby move, but I keep my hand still on her stomach, hoping I do.
“Will you tell me about what happened with your ex, with Daniel? I want to know everything I can about you, and I don’t know why,” I ask her.
“How do you know his name?” she asks, as I move onto the bed and stretch myself out next to her.
“You sleep talk,” I answer, staying still as she lies down on the bed and rests her head back on her pillows. We both lie facing each other, neither one of us wanting to say anything.
“Daniel is the baby’s father and my ex-boyfriend that I lived with,” she tells me.
“Why isn’t he here?” I ask her.
“Because I ran, and didn’t tell him,” she answers quietly, and all I can think of is how much I want to beat the shit out of him. She isn’t the type to run for no reason, she ran because she is scared. I can see that in her eyes. I’ve fought lots of men in the Cage, and I see that fear in their eyes every time. Sometimes it’s right at the start because they are smart and know they won’t win. For others, there’s no fear at the start, just arrogance, and then, when I’ve beaten them, and about to knock them out, the fear is there.
“What happened?” I ask her gently, knowing she doesn’t have to tell me.
“The night I tried to leave him to come here, he caught me. He went mad, throwing stuff around the room and then told me I wasn’t leaving. I got brave and told him to screw himself, before trying to run out the door,” she says quietly.
“You’re safe with me,” I whisper when she stops talking.
“He caught
me on the stairs and threw me onto the floor at the bottom of them, where I hit my head. He tried to . . . well, he tried to force himself on me, and while he was ripping my jeans off, I picked up the glass football statue that my brother, Ace, had left by the bottom of the stairs and slammed it over his head. I don’t know if I killed him because I just got up and grabbed my suitcase, and ran,” she says, angrily wiping her eyes as I rest my hand on her shoulder. I can’t say I didn’t expect he did something bad, but this is worse than I thought.
“Tilly,” I whisper, and she looks up at me, only for a second before looking away.
“Let’s be clear on something, okay?” I ask her. I slide my hand over her cheek and move a little closer on the bed, so our faces are inches away as I talk to her. I rub my thumb over her cheek gently.
“I hope you killed that fucker. I hope he is dead, and if he comes anywhere near you or your baby, I will make sure he never looks at you again,” I promise her.
“Why do you protect me?” she asks.
“I feel like you’re mine to protect,” I whisper and freeze as she kisses me. Her lips brush against mine, reminding me how she tastes like sweets and how soft her lips are. I don’t hold back this time as I kiss her back, and she melts into me. I roll myself over her, holding my weight with my hands as we kiss.
“Harley,” she moans as I push my body into her gently and slowly kiss down her neck. I stop and look up at her, watching as she smiles lightly. That smile does me in, it makes me like her more, and my breath stops. If I take this further, if I let myself be with her, and then something happens to me in that fight, she would be alone, and I would be hurting her. She doesn’t deserve that.
“Why did you stop?” she asks.
“I can’t take this further, not yet. Remember, no promises.” I tell her, making her frown because she can’t understand.
“No promises . . . but can’t we just–” She sighs, pushing her body into mine, and it takes a hell of a lot of willpower to resist her. I shake my head, gently kissing her again.
“Is it because I’m pregnant? Does that freak you out?” she asks, and I laugh.
“Not at all. This isn’t because I don’t want you because I do,” I say, knowing she can feel how turned on I am.
“I promised myself no serious relationships until the Cage is behind me. I can’t be with you and risk my life there. I want to be honest with you. I’m no good for a girl like you,” I tell her, watching as her face goes from sad to angry.
“That’s a load of bullshit. You can’t choose whether I like you or not. You can’t time falling for someone,” she says.
“It’s not. You need a family man, someone better than me. I won’t drag you down to my level, Tilly, but I will protect you,” I tell her firmly.
“So, you will keep me safe but won’t be with me?” she asks, and I nod. I slide off the bed, only looking back once at Tilly and wishing things were fucking different. The big fight is coming up soon, and I doubt I’m going to survive it, anyway. I’m going to make sure she is protected, that my whole family is. I won’t let her fall for me, only to have her heart broken.
“This is a mistake, Harley,” she says gently, before rolling over in bed and facing away from me. It is a mistake, a mistake that I’ve already fallen for her.
Chapter 14
Tilly
Two months later…
“Congratulations, Tilly. She is so beautiful,” Izzy says as she looks down at my little girl in my arms. The midwives just finished cleaning me up after I gave birth, and I can’t look away from her. She looks like my mum, I think, with her red hair and bright-blue eyes. She doesn’t look like him, which I’m thankful for. I finally get what the books say about that instant love you feel when you look at your child, that bond. It feels like my heart is going to burst with love as I stare down at her, knowing I would do anything to keep her safe. I don’t regret a single moment of my life; not anymore, because I would have never have gotten here. I lean down and kiss her forehead, loving the new baby smell she has. I swear nothing smells as lovely as she does at the moment.
“Thank you, she is,” I reply, watching as she yawns. Every movement she makes is cute. There is no other way to describe her.
“You need to call your parents, they should know, and your brothers, too. They love you, Tilly,” Izzy says gently, and I look over at her. I know she means well, but the idea of having anyone from France near my child right now is making me paranoid.
“The moment I tell them, he will find me. I’ve spoken to them twice in the last three months, and they know we ended badly. They promised not to tell anyone where I am, but I know he is still friends with Devon,” I say, thinking of my brother and how I wish I could talk to him. I glance at my fox tattoo on my wrist, knowing that things are not going to get better overnight like I want them to.
“He won’t ever go near you; he would have to go through me, first,” Harley says, coming into the room, looking tired but relieved all at the same time. After our kisses all those months ago, we have become closer as friends, and he has never been anything else to me. He takes me out on dates, and meals all the time. He buys me baby things and makes me food when I am too tired to cook. But, we never talk about us. I almost hate that he seems to have forgotten those kisses when it’s all I can think of. Harley is dressed far more casually than I’m used to seeing him, with just jeans and a grey jumper on. His hair is bundled at the back of his head, and he gives me a happy look.
“You can’t promise that, Harley,” I respond as he comes in and sits in the chair by the bed. He looks over at my daughter and then up to me.
“I can,” he tells me gently. Harley waited outside throughout the whole labour, and Izzy was holding my hand throughout it in here. The labour was short, thank God, but painful. Harley wanted to come in, but I think I just needed it to be Izzy and me. I was already sad that my mother couldn’t be there, and Izzy is the only thing close to family have here. I was surprised that Harley didn’t mind, he told me whatever made me happy and that he would be nearby. Then he kissed my forehead as a long contraction came on, and the midwives took me to the birthing unit.
“Have you thought of a name?” Izzy asks, and I shake my head.
“I couldn’t decide on one, so not yet,” I respond, and someone knocks at the door. Izzy gets up and goes to open it slightly before I hear Allie.
“Can I come in?” she asks.
“Yes,” I reply back. I’ve gotten closer to Allie in the last few months and consider her a good friend. I can see why Izzy and Maisy love her so much.
“Maisy wanted to come, but she isn’t getting much sleep with the baby kicking her, so I told her to rest,” Allie tells me. Maisy only has a month left until they meet their own baby girl. I still remember Sebastian’s shocked face when he came back from the scan with Maisy. I never found out the sex but saying they were shocked would be an understatement.
“That’s okay,” I say, watching as Allie walks over and looks down at my baby.
“She’s a real beauty, with that red hair and button nose,” she says gently, and I nod, looking at her.
“Thank you, she is.”
“Why don’t we go get some drinks and food? I need to call Blake, to let him know we can’t go on that secret trip he planned,” Izzy says.
“Another secret trip?” I ask, knowing he has taken her on three now.
“Yes, something always seems to go wrong on each one. The first time we went on a boat, it was lovely with lights and everything. And then, the boat engine set on fire, and we had to get off the boat. The second date was the beach, again lovely, but halfway through the date, it started to pour down with rain, and then lightning hit a nearby tree, setting it on fire. And, the third secret date we didn’t even get to because the car broke down on the way there.”
“So unlucky,” I say, watching as Harley is grinning at the floor and trying not to laugh.
“I don’t get why he keeps planning all these things
, I’m happy with a normal meal,” Izzy laughs. “But, it is sweet.”
Allie kisses my cheek before leaving with Izzy, and Harley stands up.
“Can I hold her?” he asks, and I lift my arms a little, so Harley can pick her up off me. Seeing him holding my little girl is beyond cute, even more, when he starts rocking her gently.
“She looks like you,” he says.
“That’s a good thing,” I respond, and his green eyes stare down at me.
“I’m proud of you, doing all this alone. You’re so strong,” he tells me.
“I’m not alone, you’re here. I know I will be in the future, but for now, I really appreciate all your help,” I say, and Harley goes to respond when the baby wakes up with a small cry. Harley hands her back to me, after placing a kiss on her forehead.
“I’m not going anywhere, not now or ever. Not unless you ask me to, Tilly,” he says, but I know he can’t promise me that. He hasn’t won the fight yet, and he won’t even tell me when it is. All Harley has done is train and work out, getting ready for this fight. The muscular arms he has are bigger than before, and every part of him looks prepared for a fight, now.
“Do you need anything?” he asks, and I shake my head, pulling my eyes away from him.
“No. I have a bottle ready and everything in that bag you brought in.” I nod my head towards the bag on a chair in the room. I know breastfeeding is better for the baby, but I want to bottle feed. I know it’s my choice in the end, and it’s something I feel more comfortable with. I spoke a lot to the midwives about it, and they said that some women chose the same as I did.