by Sarah Morgan
Except with her.
Katy walked round the car and slid into the passenger seat, relieved to get out of the rain.
What would happen now? He’d been waiting for signs that she couldn’t cope with trauma work and unfortunately she’d now given him all the ammunition he needed. The way he’d looked at her had left her in absolutely no doubt that he’d noticed her horrified reaction. Hardly an impressive response for a doctor who was beginning a career in accident and emergency medicine, she thought, frustrated beyond belief by what she perceived as her own weakness.
Her first experience of on-scene trauma and she’d panicked and behaved like a frightened rabbit.
He had every right to be impatient with her.
As she and Charlotte drove back towards the hospital, she pondered on the outcome of the inevitable encounter. He’d said that if she couldn’t prove herself then she’d be out.
So what would happen now?
CHAPTER FIVE
JAGO heard the tap on the door of his office and looked up from his computer with a frown.
He’d had a long and trying day and technically he was now off duty so he hadn’t been expecting visitors.
Katy stood in the doorway, her blue eyes wary as she watched him from the doorway.
She looked tired and incredibly nervous.
He sat back in his chair, his eyes suddenly watchful, his senses on full alert. Why was she nervous? She was looking at him the way a baby impala looked at a hungry lion at lunchtime.
She closed the door behind her and cleared her throat. ‘I didn’t mean to disturb you.’ Faint streaks of colour touched her cheekbones and for a disturbing moment he had an all too clear recollection of the way she’d looked after he’d finally made love to her the first time.
Flushed, round-eyed, softly feminine and in awe of him—much the way she was looking right now.
He felt his body harden in response and he felt a rush of anger at his own inability to control his reactions around her.
‘I’m in the middle of something so I’d appreciate it if you could make it quick.’
He saw her flinch but steeled himself against feeling sympathy, reminding himself that she wasn’t as gentle and innocent as she seemed.
As he’d discovered to his cost.
‘I just wanted to apologise for earlier,’ she said quietly, her fingers digging into her palms. ‘I was useless out there. I don’t know what happened. I’m sorry…’
He was so utterly captivated by her soft mouth that it took him a moment to understand what she was talking about.
The accident. He shook himself slightly. She was talking about the accident.
‘You weren’t useless.’ He resolutely pushed away memories of all that stunning blonde hair spread over the soft grass as he’d rolled her underneath him on a baking summer’s day eleven years earlier.
‘I wasn’t prepared for the injury to be so severe,’ she confessed shakily. ‘I—I’ve never attended the scene of an accident before. I didn’t know what to do, and I’m sorry.’
He sat back in his chair, suddenly understanding why she was so nervous. Hadn’t he warned her on her first day that if she didn’t perform she’d be out? She was afraid that her shocked reaction to her first exposure to major trauma at the roadside would count against her.
She was afraid that he was going to get rid of her.
And that had certainly been his intention when he’d first realised that she was going to be working in his department.
He hadn’t thought she’d last five minutes.
He hadn’t wanted her to last five minutes.
And he’d been incredibly hard on her. Harder on her than any other doctor in his team.
And she’d surprised him. So far she’d proved herself to be thorough and competent, and he’d observed on several occasions that her warmth had a calming influence on the most fractious patient.
He felt an unaccustomed twinge of guilt as he reflected on the way he’d treated her since she’d arrived in the department.
‘I took you along because I thought you might learn something and because every A and E doctor should have an idea of what the paramedics deal with on a daily basis.’ He saw her soft lips part and was suddenly glad that he was sitting behind the desk. At least she wouldn’t be aware of the effect she had on him. ‘You were there as an observer. I had no expectations of you as a doctor.’
She stood in silence, watching him warily. She was obviously still expecting an explosion. ‘I shouldn’t have reacted like that, but I just wasn’t prepared for how scary it would be, dealing with a patient at the scene of the accident. I’m used to having masses of medical back-up.’
She obviously felt she’d let herself down badly, which wasn’t true at all. He’d seen doctors with many more years’ experience than her suddenly freeze at the scene of a serious accident.
It was something to do with the almost overwhelming sense of responsibility that came with being first on the scene.
‘Just stick to A and E and don’t become a paramedic,’ he suggested dryly, and then turned back to his computer, hoping that she’d take the hint and leave him alone.
She didn’t. Instead, she took a deep breath, steeling herself to ask the question that had clearly been worrying her. ‘You said I ought to be a GP or go back to paediatrics. Do you still think I’ll make a bad A and E doctor?’
He felt another twinge of guilt. It was his fault that she was asking the question.
‘No. You’re a good A and E doctor.’
Surprisingly good.
‘But you said—’
‘I know what I said. I was angry with you.’
His blunt admission didn’t evoke the response he expected. Instead of signs of guilt, she looked confused and taken aback. As if he had no right to be angry.
He had to hand it to her, she was an excellent actress.
She was starting to make him feel guilty.
Her blue eyes were suddenly huge and she looked more like a little girl than a fully qualified doctor. ‘Why were you angry with me? Because of our…relationship?’ She stumbled over the word, looking bemused, and Jago’s lean hands curled into fists.
‘I thought I had already made it clear that the past is history.’
‘But it isn’t, is it, Jago? It’s there between us the whole time.’
‘Let’s just say that I have a long memory for certain events.’ His tone lethally smooth, he leaned back in his chair and surveyed her with the cool intent of a predator poised for the kill. It really was time for her to drop the innocent act. At least then they’d both know where they stood.
‘It must have been extremely challenging for you to keep two men running at the same time with such a limited amount of experience on your part. You must have been very nervous that one of us would find out about the other, and yet it never showed,’ he mused, his dark eyes resting on her soft mouth. ‘I’m filled with admiration as to how you managed it so skilfully. Tell me, Katy, did you tell him that you loved him, too?’
The air around them throbbed and she stood, frozen to the spot, staring at him with a blank expression.
‘I really have no idea what you’re talking about.’
She was incredibly beautiful and incredibly dignified. If he hadn’t seen the evidence with his own eyes it would have been so easy to believe in her innocence.
‘Let’s just say that when I enjoy a relationship with a woman, my absolute minimum requirement is fidelity,’ he informed her, wondering how she’d cope with being forced to confront her sins. Because he’d made up his mind that she was going to confront them. ‘Foolishly, I assumed that as I was your first lover, I didn’t need to explain that fact.’
She was still staring at him. ‘I still don’t know what you mean.’
His gaze hardened. ‘I mean that, having been introduced to the joys of sex, you then couldn’t wait to spread your wings and sample variety. So tell me, querida, was it different with him? Was it wor
th it?’
She looked startled at his words, hot colour touching her beautiful heart-shaped face, and he was reminded of just how shy she’d been about sex. The product of strict parents and a single-sex school, until she’d met him she’d had virtually no experience of men. He gritted his teeth. Something she’d corrected as quickly as possible.
‘Are you saying what I think you’re saying? You think that I—’ She broke off, her colour deepening, and he gave a wry smile.
‘Perhaps you should drop the innocent virgin act now,’ he advised. ‘I think we’ve both moved beyond that.’
The colour drained out of her face and she swayed slightly. He felt a flash of concern and then reminded himself that he was dealing with a woman who could sleep with two men at the same time without displaying the slightest flicker of conscience. Now she’d finally been found out he fully expected her to seek refuge in that most female of pastimes. Tears.
‘Is that why you left without even a word? Because you believed I was having an affair with someone else?’ Her tone was flat and lifeless, her normally sparkly blue eyes dulled with shock and distaste. ‘Couldn’t you have at least have asked me about it?’
He shrugged a broad shoulder dismissively, his expression sardonic. ‘I didn’t need to. I had all the evidence I needed. An encounter between us would have been—’ He broke off, remembering the searing anger and hurt that he’d felt on discovering her duplicity. His mouth tightened. ‘Let’s just say that I felt it would be better for both of us if we had no more contact.’
‘Evidence?’ Her voice was croaky, like someone who hadn’t drunk for a week. ‘This evidence—who gave it to you?’
He frowned. Surely she should have been asking what the evidence was? Or was she trying to cover her tracks? ‘I don’t see the relevance—’
‘It was my father, wasn’t it?’
So she’d known all along that her father had had incriminating photographs.
‘Don’t blame him. For once your father was acting honourably. He thought I should know the truth.’
Especially given that ten minutes earlier he had announced his intention of marrying Katy.
Thanks to her father, he’d had a very narrow escape. He owed him a debt.
‘Honourably?’ Her voice shook and she sank onto the nearest chair, her breathing shallow. She looked terrible. Her cheeks were pale and her slim fingers shook as they clutched the seat of the chair. ‘My father has never behaved honourably in his life. He sees what he wants and he goes for it, no matter what obstacles stand in his way. No doubt he manipulated you the same way he manipulates everyone.’
Jago frowned, disconcerted by her unexpected reaction. He’d expected hysterics and denials about the affair. Instead, they seemed to be having a conversation about her father. ‘What are you suggesting?’
Katy lifted her head, her eyes dull. ‘Show me the photographs.’ Her chest rose and fell and she appeared to be struggling to breathe. ‘I want to see those photographs. Do you still have them?’
Slight colour touched his cheekbones. ‘I don’t understand what purpose it would serve—’
‘Show me!’
After only the briefest hesitation he reached into his desk and withdrew a large envelope, thoroughly discomfited by the fact that he still had the photographs to hand. It raised questions that he’d never wanted to address before.
But Katy didn’t ask questions. She didn’t even seem to find it strange that he had the photographs in his desk eleven years later.
She just ripped at the envelope with shaking hands and emptied the contents onto the desk.
As the glossy prints emerged from the envelope, Jago felt the tension rise in his body. His lean hands fisted and he felt the same sickness he’d felt when he’d first seen them. ‘I warn you—they’re very revealing.’
She gave an uneven laugh. ‘I’m sure they are.’ She lifted the photographs, suddenly in possession of an icy control that he’d never seen before.
He frowned slightly, puzzled by her reaction. She certainly wasn’t behaving like a woman with a guilty conscience.
As her eyes dropped to the first photograph he averted his eyes. He still wasn’t able to look at pictures of her entwined so intimately with another man without wanting to commit grievous bodily harm. Why the hell had he kept them? He should have burned them years ago.
She flicked steadily through the pictures, her beautiful face blank.
Then finally she dropped the last one on the pile and lifted her eyes to his. ‘I always wondered what made you leave.’ Her tone was flat and suddenly all his senses were on alert. Alarm bells were ringing but he didn’t know why. She lifted her chin, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. ‘You didn’t think to ask me about them?’
He was watching her warily now, totally confused by her reaction. Instead of guilt and apology, her blue eyes were full of hurt and accusation.
And disappointment.
Was he missing something here?
‘They appear to speak for themselves,’ he observed, and she nodded slowly.
‘But not when you look at all the facts together.’ She turned away from him and walked over to the window, staring out across the courtyard. ‘I always wondered what my father said to make you walk away. I knew it had to have been him that ended our relationship. Nothing else made sense.’
Jago was suddenly very still. ‘Your father had nothing to do with it. It was my choice to walk away—’
‘Yes. You were to blame too, for believing him.’ She turned to face him and her eyes were sad. ‘He played you like a master, Jago. He did what he does with everyone. He looked for your weakness and then he moved in for the kill.’
Disconcerted and not used to the feeling, Jago stiffened. ‘And what was my weakness?’
‘Your pride,’ she said simply. ‘You are, by nature, proud and possessive and my father knew that the one thing that would drive you away from me was finding me with another man. So he made it happen.’
There was an uncomfortable silence while Jago digested her words. ‘You’re saying that he somehow manufactured these photographs?’ He waved a lean brown hand across his desk. ‘That they aren’t really you?’
‘Oh, yes, they’re me.’ Katy walked back to the desk and picked up the photograph at the top of the pack. ‘Good, aren’t they? They were taken in a studio in North London when I was modelling. One of the teenage mags wanted some shots to illustrate an article they were doing on safe sex. Aiden and I were supposed to look as though we were in love. Funnily enough, I was more relaxed than I would normally have been because I was in love.’ Her eyes lifted to his and there was more than a hint of accusation in her clear blue gaze. ‘I was in love with you, Jago.’
Modelling photographs?
Jago was struggling hard to get a grip on the facts. It hadn’t even occurred to him that the photos could have been part of her modelling life.
No. They couldn’t be.
Shielding his emotions from her, he glanced at the one on the top of the pile, noticing for the first time all the hallmarks of a professional photographer.
Feeling as though he’d just taken a cold shower, he suppressed a groan. How had he managed to miss that possibility? But he knew the answer, of course. He’d been so furiously angry at what he’d seen as her betrayal that he’d reacted with raw, naked emotion. Had he employed some of the intellect in his possession he might have reached a different conclusion.
But Katy’s father had been completely correct in his reading of his character. He’d gambled on the fact that Jago’s Spanish pride would prevent him from wanting to contact her again. And the gamble had paid off. He’d walked into the sunset and left her.
He stilled, unable to grasp the fact that he could have made such a colossal misjudgement. ‘You never slept with him?’
‘No. He’s also gay.’
Her tone was flat and Jago tensed, struggling with the appalling reality of having been thoroughly manipulated. ‘I thought
—’
‘I can see what you thought. Please, don’t spell it out any further. I find your suppositions totally offensive.’ She gathered up the photographs and he reached out and grabbed her wrist, preventing her from leaving.
‘Wait.’ His fingers tightened. ‘If you suspected that your father was responsible, why didn’t you come after me?’
She looked at him sadly. ‘Because I believed in you. I never knew what made you leave, but I guessed that my father was behind it and for months I held onto this childish dream that our love would prove stronger than my father had anticipated and that you’d come back and at least talk to me. But you never did.’
He flinched at that but his fingers tightened on her wrists. He needed answers. ‘Why would your father do that to you? To us?’
‘Surely that’s obvious. He didn’t want us together.’ She lifted her eyes to his. ‘He found out and he wanted to end it so he bided his time until he found the most effective way. I warned you that we should keep our relationship a secret, but you insisted that you wouldn’t creep around.’
Jago’s broad shoulders tensed. ‘I wasn’t afraid of your father.’
‘No,’ she said quietly. ‘But I was. And I was the one left to deal with him after you walked off, Jago. My father didn’t know that you had no intention of committing to anyone. For some unfathomable reason he thought you were serious about me and that was the last thing he wanted.’
Jago almost groaned aloud. He had been serious.
And he’d made the fatal mistake of telling her father.
Understanding just what had caused her father to take such dramatic steps, Jago ran a hand over his face, lost for words for the first time in his life.
Katy watched him for a long moment and then, with a final pitying look, she tugged her wrist away from his grip, picked up the photographs and left the room without a backward glance.
‘Oh, my God.’ Libby stared at the photographs in horror. ‘Dad gave him these? Well, no wonder the guy walked out. They’re very incriminating.’