Gabriel came around the side of the bed and stared down at her, gaze traveling from her still-flat stomach to her face. “I suppose congratulations are in order. But then, you did apply yourself to your assignment with a good deal of enthusiasm. Well done.”
It was one of the hardest things she’d ever done, to keep looking up at him when all she wanted to do was tear her gaze away. Something in the way he gazed at her made her stomach begin to churn. She was back to her normal self now, and she couldn’t forget the threat he’d made.
After this is all over…once we’ve returned you to your natural appearance…then I think I will want you very much.
Would he take that risk, though, while she was carrying Zhandar’s child? Oh, sure, pregnant women had sex every day. Normally, it was not a big deal. But when the child involved was the half-Zhore hybrid Gabriel and his superiors wanted so badly…well, she couldn’t even begin to guess. She’d thought she had most people figured out, after spending so many years reading their thoughts, but the way Gabriel’s mind worked was something that continued to elude her.
Maybe that was for the best. She didn’t know what she might think of her own mind and soul, if she could insert herself into his thought processes that easily.
Somehow she managed to force a smile onto her lips, even though her head was aching so badly she might have kissed Blake Chu if it meant he would give her a painkiller. “Well, Gabriel,” she said, “you probably got the gist of it from the transmissions my implant sent out. But I have to admit that my Zhore was a spectacular lay.”
His expression darkened. “Don’t toy with me, Trinity.”
“I’m not. I’m just telling you the truth.”
And then she held her breath, because he bent down toward her. Oh, God — what would she do if he tried to kiss her? The mere thought of his lips on hers, after she’d known what it was like to be kissed by someone who truly loved her and wanted her, was enough to make her want to gag. But if she resisted…that could be worse. Much worse.
His fingers closed around her hair where it fell loose over her shoulder, and he yanked her toward him. Combined with the headache, the sensation was excruciating, and she let out a shocked gasp, clamping down on her teeth to prevent a whimper from escaping her lips.
Face inches away from hers, he said, “I’ll take you when I want you. And there’s nothing you can do about that, Trinity. Nothing.”
* * *
Zhandar couldn’t decide which would be worse — staying home from work and brooding over what might be happening to Trinity at that very moment, or going in to his office and having to pretend that nothing was wrong. In the end, he’d decided to go to work, mainly because concentrating on his day-to-day tasks had offered him some solace in the past, and he thought if he sat home alone with nothing to do, he might literally go mad. He had some time before the weariness and the heartache literally consumed him…days, perhaps a week, if he was lucky…but if Trinity was not returned to him before then, he would slip into darkness.
Leizha lingered in his office after she came in to confirm that he wanted the plans for their next retrofit sent on, now that they’d been finalized. “You are troubled,” she said.
This was not a conversation he wanted to have right now, but sending her out of his office with no explanation would only make matters worse. He shrugged. “My mind is occupied, yes.”
“Is it this Zhanna?” Leizha inquired, her tone studiously casual.
Ah, he should have known that would get back to her. His people were not known for being gossips, not in the way the Gaians or the Eridanis were, but they still talked amongst themselves. And no doubt “Zhanna’s” precipitous departure had led to more than a few conversations among his staff as to precisely what had happened.
Still, he had no idea what he could say to Leizha now that wouldn’t be an outright lie. He certainly couldn’t tell her the truth. So he settled for replying, “There was some connection between us. But in the end it was not right, and she left.”
There. All of that was technically true, if robbed of any accurate context.
Leizha nodded, then said, tone carefully neutral, “That is unfortunate.”
More unfortunate than you will ever know, he thought. Ever since Nalzhir had told him of the way Trinity had been abducted, Zhandar had been castigating himself, wishing he had cast aside his pride and spoken to her, allowed her a chance to explain further. If only he hadn’t allowed his anger to get the better of him, none of this might have ever happened. For if he had reconciled with Trinity, then surely he would have been able to persuade her not to go to that disastrous “meeting.”
But while his people believed that careful reexamination of their actions might prevent a person from making the same mistakes over and over again, that certainly wouldn’t do him any good in this situation. All the same, he couldn’t help brooding over everything he had done wrong.
Now he would do anything to put it right.
Leizha still stood by the door, watching him from within her hood. Repressing a sigh, he told her, “Yes, it was a difficult situation. But I do not think her absence put us too far behind, since you came back and got us back on schedule.
A graceful tilt of her head in acknowledgment. “It was the least I could do.”
His comm buzzed then, and he looked down at the display. This time he recognized the code — Rinzha, calling again.
This was certainly not a conversation he wished to have in front of Leizha, so he said, “I require some privacy for this conversation. If you would close the door?”
A sharp spike of curiosity seemed to move out from her before she could repress it. But she only said, “Of course, Zhandar,” and moved out of the doorway, then activated the controls so it would shut behind her.
As soon as it closed with a soft hiss, he pushed a button on the comm. “Yes, Rinzha? Have you any news?”
“Not precisely. But there is someone that Nalzhir would like you to talk to.”
“How does he fare in his recovery?” Zhandar asked, knowing that custom required him to make the inquiry. If pressed, he would have admitted that he cared very little for Nalzhir’s well-being, after the mistakes he had made.
“Better,” Rinzha said. A certain dryness in her tone told Zhandar that she knew all too well what he thought of her superior. “In fact, he has been discharged from the medical center and will be meeting you at your destination.”
“My destination?”
“I will send the coordinates to your handheld. It is some three hours from Torzhaan, so I would advise taking the rail and then picking up a day car when you get there.”
This was all sounding very mysterious. But if Rinzha and Nalzhir had found someone who could help them find Trinity, then Zhandar was willing to go to the other side of the planet to speak to them.
Or even the other side of the galaxy, if that was what was required.
“Thank you, Rinzha,” he said.
“It is not a problem. We will see you in a few hours.”
So apparently she would be going along as well. Perhaps Nalzhir was not quite as well as he thought, and so wanted her to come along to provide any kind of assistance he might need.
“Yes. I am looking forward to it.”
They said their goodbyes, and he ended the transmission, then got up and began straightening his office as best he could. After that he shut down his computer and slipped out. Leizha was nowhere to be seen; it was the end of the day, and apparently she had taken his request for privacy as a signal that she might as well go home.
All the better. That way, no one would know for sure when he had left.
And even he didn’t know when he would be back.
* * *
They must have given her something to sleep. Otherwise, Trinity didn’t think she could have passed so many hours in dreamless slumber. Her mind had been tormenting her with visions of everything Gabriel could and would do to her, once he decided she’d had enough psychol
ogical torture and moved on to the actual physical suffering. They’d fed her dinner and given her water, either of which could have been laced with a soporific drug. She supposed it didn’t matter one way or another.
The clothes they’d provided the last time she was here were still hanging in the wardrobe, and all the toiletries she’d used were still in the bathroom. Even though Trinity knew the room had to be under video surveillance, she went ahead and took a shower. What difference did it make? Gabriel had already seen her in the most intimate situations she could possibly imagine.
Although this was a bit different. At least when he’d been looking at her naked body before, it had been clothed in the Zhore skin they had given her. If he was watching her now, he would be seeing all of her…the real her.
A shudder passed over her, and she quickly pulled on the tunic and slim pants she’d laid out for herself. She didn’t know who had chosen these clothes, but they fit perfectly, and were a soothing dark teal color. After so many weeks spent in black, her soul did feel just a little cheered by the return of some color to her life.
That was probably grasping at some extremely flimsy straws, but she didn’t know what else to do.
The door chime sounded. Trinity couldn’t quite prevent a mocking smile from pulling at her lips. After everything he’d done to her, Gabriel was going to scruple now at simply barging in on her whenever he felt like it?
She knew she would have to go ahead and answer that chime. If she ignored it, she was pretty sure he would let himself in, so she might as well exert whatever flimsy control over the situation that she could.
“Rested?” he asked as soon as she opened the door.
“Enough. Whatever you slipped me last night, it seemed to do the trick.”
His smile didn’t waver. Of course it wouldn’t. He was enjoying this immensely. Trinity wondered what he did in his spare time for amusement. Pull the wings off flies? Or had he graduated by now to kicking puppies?
“Now, Trinity, we just felt it was important for you to get a good night’s sleep.”
“Mmm.”
He moved past her into the room, and she shut the door behind him. At least the room looked reasonably tidy; she’d always picked up after herself, even as a child. No doubt a psychologist would have said that was her way of trying to create order in a chaotic existence.
Watching him, though, she could feel the anger rising in her again. Even though she knew she shouldn’t provoke him, not when she had the baby to worry about, she planted her hands on her hips and said, “What exactly is your game, Gabriel? I mean, I understand about wanting a half-Zhore baby to study. Sort of, anyway. But all this other crap? The theatrics? The petty tortures? It’s getting old.”
His smile faded then, and his eyes narrowed. For a second, Trinity thought he was going to move toward her, but he stood his ground, hands knotted at his sides. “My game, Trinity? You think the future of the Consortium is a game?”
Oh, no, she wasn’t about to let him get away with that. She lifted her chin and replied, “As I said, I understand why you’d want to know more about these Zhore/human hybrids. But this? The innuendo, and the glances, and the weird neck rubs and the kisses? I’m not sure what you’re trying to prove, except that you’re in control. But we both knew that already, didn’t we? So again, what is the point?”
He remained very still, watching her. A muscle twitched in his jaw. Right then she was too aware of how he towered over her, how he had more or less complete command of this station. But she wouldn’t let him intimidate her. She’d rather he did whatever he intended and got it over with, rather than keep dancing around the issue. If that meant sex, well, then, so be it. He wouldn’t be the first man she’d slept with that she hadn’t even liked. All right, in Gabriel’s case, it was more loathing than merely not liking, but if you took your mind and heart out of the equation, it wasn’t that big a deal. Just two bodies joining together. It wouldn’t be like all the times she’d shared with Zhandar, those moments filled with the sort of bliss she’d never thought she’d be able to experience. They were two such different states of being that they really didn’t have that much of a connection.
Then Gabriel seemed to relax slightly, and the smile returned. “Well, if you must know, it’s because I’ve fallen madly in love with you.”
She gave an ironic chuckle at that reply, one eyebrow raised.
“No? I thought that was what most women wanted to hear. Very well, then. No, I am not madly in love with you, but I think I might be slightly in lust. Wasn’t really expecting that, if you want to know the truth.”
This time her other eyebrow went up. “Gabriel, I doubt you would know the truth if it bit you in the ass.”
There was something liberating about speaking her mind like this, of throwing aside her doubt and worry and fear. So far he’d done nothing in return but retreat into more verbal sparring. For all she knew, he’d been hoping that she might fight back, just a little, so he could amuse himself with their back-and-forth. After all, if he wanted to, he could stop it at any time.
The smile was still there, although something about it tightened a fraction. He said, “In my experience, truth is highly relative. For example, you believe yourself in love with this Zhore, this Zhandar. You’ve made that your truth. But is it really? He’s an alien. You’ve known him for barely a month. Would any rational being recognize that love as being real or true?”
She wanted to argue. Of course she knew she loved Zhandar — and she had to hope that he loved her back, even if he was angry with her because of the way she’d been forced to deceive him. But she also knew, that if someone was looking at their relationship from the outside in, they would say there was no way they could have shared such a deep bond so quickly. Then again, an outsider wouldn’t understand anything of sayara. That sort of connection couldn’t be explained, only experienced.
“Probably not,” she said frankly. “But I’m not trying to convince anyone else. I know what I know.”
“I’m sure you do.”
This time he did take a step toward her, and she forced herself to stand her ground. If he reached for her, tried to kiss her, or worse…well, she’d decide then what she was going to do. In the meantime, though, she wasn’t going to back away, or look weak or frightened.
Something in her expression must have shifted, though, because he added in an off-hand tone, “By the way, we’ve been having some discussions, and we’ve decided that your gifts are simply too valuable to gamble on a high-risk pregnancy. We’re looking for an acceptable surrogate, and once she’s found, we’ll transfer the fetus to her.”
Trinity stared at him, aghast. He couldn’t mean that. After all she’d gone through, they were going to swoop in and take her child from her before it was even born?”
He nodded. “You see now. You can try to fight me, Trinity, but I’ll always be a step ahead.” His hand reached out and grasped her by the wrist. “And once you don’t have that little Zhore inside you any longer, I’ll enjoy showing you exactly how little control you really have.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
The sun was well below the horizon by the time his train stopped on the outskirts of a town called Tranzhir. Zhandar alighted and went to an automated day-car kiosk, where he entered his credit voucher information and picked up the fob for one of the day-use air cars parked in a lot next to the train station.
Once inside, he fed the coordinates for his destination into the car’s onboard system and let it pilot him away from the station, down a road that led out of Tranzhir. The town was much smaller than Torzhaan, and he was out in the open countryside soon enough, moving at a good clip, since the car had analyzed the light traffic around them and determined that it was safe to go faster.
That was fine with Zhandar. He’d been restless all during the train ride, wishing it would go more quickly, although in truth, less than two hours had elapsed in the time since he’d left his office. And at least he was doing something, rather
than wearing a dull spot in his floors with all his nervous pacing.
The car turned off the main road, moving onto a narrower lane that clearly led to someone’s homestead. He couldn’t see much in the dark, beyond what the car’s lights illuminated in a ten-meter circle around them, but it was enough to know that this was rolling, gentle country, punctuated by a wood here and there. In the sunlight, it was probably brilliantly green. He knew this kind of land well enough, since he’d grown up on a homestead in countryside much like this.
Now the lane was curving, looping lazily as it wound through a copse of white-trunked trees. Once the car emerged into the open, Zhandar saw lights up ahead, coming from a large pale two-story structure that seemed to glow in the darkness. And as he approached and the car began to slow down, he saw that another car was already stopped out in front, a dark official-looking vehicle. That must have been the car that brought Rinzha and Nalzhir here. Wherever “here” was. Someone’s home, by the looks of it, but exactly why they’d come to this place rather than anywhere else, Zhandar couldn’t begin to guess.
His own car glided to a stop next to the other vehicle, and he got out before the engine began to even spin down. The evening air was cool and mild, smelling of trazhar lilies and a few other scents he couldn’t identify. Then again, his childhood home had been a good thousand kilometers from here, so he supposed what grew here could be markedly different. One perfume was particularly enticing, and he made a note to ask what it was before he left.
The door opened even as he began to reach toward the button for the chime. A tall man stood there, his hood on a level with Zhandar’s own. “Good evening, Zhandar. I am Lirzhan. Welcome to my home.”
Zhandar pressed his hands together and bowed in the ritual greeting, even as his mind began to race. Lirzhan? Wasn’t he the former ambassador who had formed the sayara bond with a Gaian woman?
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