by Leanne Davis
“I know. I feel the same way. We’re related to him. It’s hard to get that out of your head.” Tristan agreed, his tone quiet.
Kylie appeared curious. “When I first said ‘your brother raped me,’ why did you not suspect Tristan?”
Tara shook her head. “Because Tristan was distracted, busy, and cold, but he always had a moral compass and a kind heart. He just didn’t know how to handle me. But Tommy? There was always something lacking in him. Basic human empathy. Compassion.”
“You always had that too, Tara. You were never like him. I think it’s why you had to run away. You couldn’t tolerate our family any longer. By remaining there, maybe you were afraid you would become like them, or at the very least, somehow endorse their ineptitude and corruption,” Tristan said.
She shut her eyes. Then opened them. “I hope so. I mean, I was all screwed up, so I can’t say for sure, but nothing as articulate as that; just a burning desire to leave. Run. Escape.”
“I think you had to run away. You couldn’t live in a house without any moral standards. Tell me, what happened to you? Where were you? How did you manage to survive?”
She smiled. “I was homeless for many years. I can’t say much about that I’m proud of. I did drugs and had sex with other homeless people and I wasn’t in a good place. My lowest point was when I got jumped and robbed. I was too high to even realize what happened until hours later when I sobered up. I was always dirty, unbathed, and hungry, and I realized I wanted more than that. I had to do something better or I would end up dead. And my life would be over forever more.
“I got off the streets and started doing odd jobs, earning just enough money to stay alive. I stayed in cheap motels and worked my way south, taking the I-5 corridor until I came here. Chloe, that’s the woman who owns this place, hired me. I lied on the job application, which they still don’t fully know. But I tried to be their best employee once I was hired on. I was hyper-honest in everything I did to compensate for how I started. I just couldn’t get a decent job if I didn’t lie. I met Ryder here. His ex-wife is Chloe’s sister. They are still very close. And they thought his ex-wife ran off and left them. But just a few weeks ago, her body was found. Turns out, she was left for dead in a swamp nearby here. So… well, that’s been a huge blow to all of us.”
Tristan’s eyes widened. “That’s… terrible. And then… I showed up.”
She licked her lips. “Yes.”
“I’m sorry. If I’ve ruined anything for you.”
She shook her head. “I’m not. I mean, I’m not sorry to… to have you here. I didn’t think I wanted to ever see you again. Now that you’re here. I…” Tears overwhelmed her, and she bit her lip, shaking her head. “I didn’t know how much I needed you still.”
Tristan got up and began pulling her up and hugging her next to him. She let him do it and it felt so nice to be held so close to her brother. Her family.
“Let me take you to him. We’ll talk to him. I’ll help you, Tara. Okay? I… I don’t want to make your life worse. Only better. And mine will be better once I have you back in it.”
She let out a breath to calm down. “You mean this isn’t a one-time visit?”
“I hope not. I want to be a family again. You’ve never experienced that. It’s… the best thing. Kylie’s family, her mom and stepdad, have kindly taken me in. Thirty-one years old and I still need and cherish their love and care for me. You’re never too old for that.”
Tara sniffled her snot-filled nose. “I actually witnessed that with Ryder and his son. Did I tell you about his son?”
“Kylie did. A funny little guy. How old?”
Her face brightened at the mention of Wyatt. “He’s six now. And just wonderful.”
“Why don’t I come with you to try and explain the Aderly thing?”
Her heart bumped, but she felt weary in her chest. “What do you mean… like you’d help me beg for his forgiveness?”
“Exactly what I mean. You’re not alone anymore, Tara. If you’ll accept me as your brother again, I want to be there for you. I want to do the right thing by you this time.”
Her emotions overwhelmed her. She dropped her gaze. “Maybe… yes. Could we start with a ride over there? I don’t have a car or… or even a driver’s license… Do you think you could take me to his house?”
“Just me? Or do you mind if Kylie comes along?”
She spared a glance at his girlfriend. “No, of course not. She’s what I like most about you now.”
He flashed a huge smile at Tara and Kylie. “That’s exactly what I told Kylie when I begged her to come with me to find you. I said if you met her, you might just be willing to give me a chance.”
Kylie winced. “Your family really is all fucked up.”
They nodded at the exact same moment. For the first time, Tara laughed at her family… and being related to it. Topping it off, she had a moment of bonding with another family member. “Yes, it was and is really all fucked up.”
Tristan touched her arm. “But I’d like to change that. At least, we can start with us.”
She closed her eyes. “I didn’t know I wanted that. Until I saw you…” She sucked in a breath. “I thought I was over our family or needing anyone ever again. But it turns out, I could use you.”
He hugged her again and released her. She glanced around, seeing plenty of stares. Lately, she was the main source of the cafe’s unofficial entertainment. She went in the back and spoke to Petra.
“So there’s a whole history I have. That’s my older brother. I haven’t seen him in five years and he used a private investigator to find me. I think I’m going to be fired anyway, but I’d like to at least try and talk to Ryder.”
Petra patted her arm. “What’s your name?”
“Tara Tamasy. Aderly was my mother’s maiden name. I ran away when I was seventeen.”
“Well, Tara Tamasy. Good luck.”
Tears filled her eyes at Petra’s kindness. “Thank you. If I don’t see you again, you have been such a kind friend, especially when I needed one, and I haven’t had any friends before, not ever.”
Petra shook her head. “You will be back. You work here. You belong here. And you have all kinds of friends here between the staff and the customers. Don’t forget that. No matter what Chloe or even Ryder says. They don’t rule this town. It’s a free country and you’re welcome—no, you’re in demand here as a citizen and a resident. Okay?”
Tara impulsively hugged Petra. Something that before she came to this town, she would not have done. Then she spun around to face her brother. He made a sweeping, gallant motion with his hand for her to go first. It was odd and strange and wonderful.
Once they were on the highway, Tristan followed Tara’s instructions as he drove the small rental car, an economy baseline model that said more about Tristan’s financial status now than anything else. “So, we were hoping to stay for the week. I’d like to get to know you better. Hang out with you. Maybe… perhaps someday you’d want to visit us—”
Tara started to object when he shook his head. “No pressure. Kylie starts her senior year at college in a month or so. So we can’t travel once that happens, not as often. I just hoped to see you more. But we’ll figure something out.”
She squinted at her brother. He was dating a college co-ed? Not what she had pictured in her wildest dreams. “What’s your major, Kylie?”
“Sociology. I want to be a social worker.”
Tara tilted her head. “You, ah, do realize that Tristan is very conservative, both fiscally and otherwise?”
Tara almost shook her head with disbelief. Kylie was not the kind of girl Tara ever pictured capturing the heart of her polished, proper, formal, money-hungry, success-driven brother. Kylie threw her head back and started laughing. “I realize it.”
“And you guys… make that work?”
They shared a mushy, loving look. “We do,” Tristan stated softly.
Tara stared out the windshield and finally said, �
��Maybe. Maybe someday I could come visit. I guess I’m a grown-assed adult. No one can do anything to me if I come back to town, can they? I don’t have to see anyone else.” She shivered. “Especially not Tommy. Whatever happened to him?”
Tristan’s mouth compressed. “Not a goddamned thing.”
Kylie squeezed her hand on his thigh and glanced back at Tara. “We tried to get him kicked out of school, but it was only my word against his. No physical evidence to prove it. So… nothing happened. But he’ll do something, someday, I know he’ll do it again. Rapists are frequent perpetrators and I don’t think he can help it. I just hope that someday he’ll get caught and punished for his crimes.”
“Me too,” Tara agreed, her head nearly spinning with all the news and surprise that kept rolling over her.
They pulled into Ryder’s place and her stomach felt like an anvil dropped into it. How would she face him?
“Can I help? Should I come in and explain our family dysfunction?” Tristan said.
She shook her head. “No. My lies belong to me. I need to own them.”
He took her hand in his and squeezed it. “Call me. Okay? I’ll be back. I’m going to be here for you. Whether I have to drive to get to you or even fly. I’ll never leave you to fend for yourself again. Okay?” He reached out and rubbed a finger over her nose as one might do to a child. “Okay, little sis?”
She nodded and her smile was tight. “Hard to get used to. But I’d like that.”
“If I don’t hear from you tonight, how about lunch tomorrow? Dinner? All day? No pressure though.” His smile was quick and Tara found it ironic.
She smiled. “All day. Let’s just plan on all day. We have… There is so much to say and remember and catch up on…”
They exchanged telephone numbers and Tara got out. They watched her until she opened the front door with her key and entered Ryder’s house. She waved at them and they left. Tara’s heart was beating wildly with joy. Yes, joy at finding her brother again. Her brother, who was so kind and loving and involved and very changed. The brother he never was before.
But then again, she had changed too. No longer the messed up, self-medicating, anorexic, drinking, drugging, promiscuous teen she used to be. She was so desperate to find anything that could make her feel better, and now she was… what? A decent person. A working, functioning, healthy person.
She took in a deep breath for courage. Now, she had to confess her duplicity to the person she lied to and hurt. The same person who might fail to understand what and who she once was.
Chapter Eightteen
RYDER STARED AT HER from across the room. He stopped dead in the kitchen and watched her leaning against the closed front door as if he’d just shot her and the impact launched her backwards. She sensed she was being examined under his silent, accusing glare, and Tara swallowed hard and steeled her resolve, as well as her spine.
Straightening up, she pushed herself off the door as she stepped forward.
“Wyatt’s staying at Ebony’s parents.”
His words were his way of letting her know she could talk. That was because he definitely intended to say something.
“Do you want to talk to me? Or do you plan to just send me packing without a word?”
“I don’t know yet, Tara Tamasy.” He sneered as he said her last name. “Tara Tamasy, five foot seven, a hundred and ten pounds, two charges of prostitution, three for theft. That, of course, doesn’t include whatever happened before you were eighteen. Drug possession. Loitering. Trespassing… Should I go on?”
Stony-faced, Tara stared at him and shook her head in the negative. “No. I admit every single thing. Every night I spent outside. Every hour I was cold or hungry or high or lonely. I was there, Ryder. What did you do? Run a background check on me?”
“Fuck, yeah. Found out my newest employee also lied on her employment application. As my employee I can look into you. Just goes that much faster when you’re a cop. Turns out, Chloe didn’t vet you, although she told me she did. I assumed… well, she obviously lied about that.” He crossed his arms over his chest, his legs splayed wide, and his face looking mean and menacing. Still dressed in his uniform, he was like every other cop who ever intimidated or harassed her. His gun was still in place too.
“Take the gun off, please. You know I don’t like it. You know I can’t talk to you when you have it on, especially not when you’re like this.”
“Like what? Like asking for the simple truth? You know, those uncomplicated little things such as knowing what my girlfriend’s fucking last name is? The woman whom I entrusted the care of my young son? The lying criminal I allowed to live inside my house?”
Tara threw her hands up with outrage. “I’m not any different than I was. It’s a last name. Aderly is my mom’s maiden name. It isn’t even that nefarious, not like you’re making it sound. Please take the gun off, Ryder.”
He glared at her, crossing his arms tightly over his chest. “Fuck off, Tara. It’s not like I’m going to pull it on you. What? Is it too reminiscent of the other times you’ve been arrested?”
“Yes!” she yelled at him. “Yes, goddamn it! Okay? You want to know why I don’t like cops carrying guns? Fuck you, Ryder! Why do you think? It’s because some dirty, motherfucking cop held his piece to my head and forced me to suck his dick in the back seat of his squad car. That, or he’d have taken me in on a drug possession charge. Which would have put me away for years. And get this… the drugs weren’t even mine! He planted them. So fuck off! No, I won’t talk to you until you remove that… that thing on you!” she screeched as she waved at his waist.
Turning away, she took the stairs two at a time and hot tears filled her eyes. The utter humiliation she had endured by admitting it to him left her shaking, along with the adrenaline jolting through her body from yelling at him. When was the last time she yelled like that?
Only minutes later, Ryder followed her upstairs. She knew he would. He was that kind of man. Unlike hers, however, his steps were slow, methodical, and steady. He stood in the opening of the doorway. Tara sat on the chair in the master bedroom, her legs curled up to her chest as she stared out the window. Rubbing her eyes to stop the tears, she finally glanced his way. She gritted her teeth. The fucking uniform. She’d grown used to it by now, and then even appreciated it at times as she got to know him. And like him. And eventually love him. Sometimes, it even made her feel safe. This was not one of those times, though.
“What was the officer’s name?”
“Sanlot.” Tara remembered the name tag that was forever engraved in her brain.
“You were cited for prostitution by him.”
“Yes. Something he made me do. I guess you could make a case for that time. But that was much worse than all the other times.”
“It’s the crime of assault.”
She shrugged. “I hate to sound callous, but by then, I’d been living out on the streets for several years and it was just another event in my life. Perhaps worse than some, but did I find it shocking? No. I’m sorry to say. I saw a lot and experienced a lot. I wasn’t so sweet and innocent as I was when I first ran away. Everything I did shamed me at first. From the incessant dirt and grime to being hungry and eating trash and finding any kind of shelter, just to sleep. Jerome came to my aid and pretty much taught me how to survive. Yeah, I got used to it. Things were just what they were.”
Ryder walked in and stood there. Tara’s watery gaze narrowed in on him as she waited for his next move. He slowly put his hand on his sidearm and pulled the gun free of its holster. Her mouth went dry. She could no longer deny her unreasonable fear of guns. Even in Ryder’s hands. She knew he’d never use it against her; but so often, she imagined it pressed against her temple. She remembered being forced to put her lips around the sweaty, bulging penis of a man she longed to kill. He held the gun there the whole time and all Tara could think about was him pulling the trigger, either by accident or on purpose.
Ryder walked over to his nigh
tstand and opened the drawer. He squatted down and pulled out the lock box that he usually kept their sex toy in. This time, he set his gun inside it and closed it before securing it. He faced away from her for a long second before finally turning back towards her.
Tears were leaking from her eyes again. This time, however, it was not from being upset or angry, but because he did what she had asked him to do. She knew how much he hated her and mistrusted her. But he still did that for her. The decent thing. He straightened up and just stood there, looking at Tara with his hands on his hips and his elbows out.
“Tell me what happened.”
Tara started talking but her voice sounded hollow. “My family was shit. They didn’t care about me. I tried to commit suicide in a way by starving myself when I was seventeen. I couldn’t stand all the pressure of dancing any longer, or my mother. I was never skinny enough or tall enough or good enough. I passed out after not eating for three days. I was so proud at the time. I weighed ninety pounds. They had to hospitalize me. Not until I was literally near death and emaciated did they fucking realize I had a problem. My grandfather first noticed and hospitalized me. I wasn’t a boy though. He only cared about Tamasy sons. Tristan especially. Smart, hardworking, self-sufficient boys. Tristan was always okay. You know the type… Fuck,” she said, rolling her eyes. She’d never sworn so much around him. The memory of her previous life seemed to bring out something different in her. She was mentally back in a place where she was very different. Surviving, but never living.
“Like you, actually. Anyway, Grandfather took Tristan under his wing and invested all of his pressure and love, albeit without any affection, onto Tristan. That left me with my mother. After I came home from the hospital, you’d think my mom would have seen it as some kind of warning. But no. It wasn’t to her. Just more of the same. She was insane. I came home and she wanted me to keep training and dancing and performing. She acted like it wasn’t the reason I was hospitalized. I couldn’t handle it anymore. I was messed up when I left home and I stayed that way.”