by P. S. Power
No one noticed it for a long time, but finally Denis saw it and moved to sit next to him, as the others started talking into their phones, deciding his fate. There wouldn't be a trial or anything, just him being judged, one way or the other. If he was lucky it would just be jail time, in the lockup. It wasn't fair, but that was the best possible case, wasn't it? The raw fact was that they might just kill him and claim it was a training accident. That had happened a few times in the last years. People went out on what should be pretty easy missions and then they just... never came back. They were always dead too. No one left, or took a better job offer. Not ever.
He felt horrible, and scared, but nothing could really help him now.
Marcia pulled the phone from her ear, which let him hear the yelling on the other end. It wasn't a voice that Tobin knew off the top of his head. Not the Director, or Charles, his team leader. After a bit another two voices came across the thing. One of them he got right away, being Proxy. The other was Penny, the nice invisible girl. He wasn't used to her yelling at anyone, and couldn't imagine who that person would be at all.
Ms. Turner spoke, her voice not exactly calm, but she didn't shout, which meant having to repeat herself before anyone could understand her on the other end.
"Burkes went for his weapon, over what was no more than a mild political debate. Sure, it was Tobin making the radical statements, claiming that he should be treated like everyone else, but this isn't like him, Lancaster. Burkes is a steady man." She went silent for a bit, and then looked over at Tobin, her face looking more than a bit scared, which wasn't something that he'd thought she was capable of. "Holy hell... Peterson, are you ill? Do you feel all right?"
He didn't, but it wasn't anything unexplainable. He'd just pushed himself past what his first mode could take, socially speaking. It was punishing him now, making him shake and go pale. He felt bad too, like he wanted to vomit, but that didn't happen.
"Furst mode..." The words were mumbled and so quiet that Denis had to repeat what he'd said for him, his ear almost to Tobin's lips, just to make it out.
"First mode backlash, I think. I was kind of pushing him, so that he could speak his mind. I... Fuck, this is my fault." He looked away, shaking his head a bit.
No one blamed him directly however, not even Tobin. He couldn't talk at the moment, not clearly, but the thoughts had been his. What was always right there, below the surface, hidden inside. They'd been trying to come out for a long time and having that chance was a good thing, even if it was a big problem at the moment. Luckily, even as people spoke on the phone about what to do to him over the whole thing, as if he was in the wrong, someone stood up, to defend him.
It was just coming from such a strange area that Tobin really couldn't believe it. Not at first.
Jason held his hand out for Marcia's cell and looked... Pissed. His first mode was humility, and that meant that he didn't think his own words and actions amounted to much, most of the time, but he wasn't a coward or even weak. Just a good guy in general. At the moment however, his words were very different than that.
"Listen, Argos here. Tobin just defended himself and isn't having a problem. We need to figure out what happened with Agent Burkes and not make this into more garbage for Mr. Peterson. No one here is saying that it wasn't the right move even. I would have done the same thing and so would the rest of us, if we'd been the target, including the Agents." There was no pause, but he turned to the dazed and recovering Agent who was tied up with the plastic restraints still. "Burkes, do you disagree?"
It was probably a bad question to ask, but the man shook his head and looked away like a guilty little kid. Tobin wasn't watching him directly, but did out of the side of his eye. It was how he saw the world, for the most part.
"No. Personal crap. I... Fucked up." It didn't sound like he was totally happy about having to admit it, but even still feeling like the man had been saying he wasn't even a fraction as worthwhile as anyone else, Tobin shrugged. It was an IPB thing, one that they all tried to live by. Yes, the guy wasn't Infected, but if he admitted it was an emotional thing, and was willing to try to fix it, then blaming him for it too much was sort of counter to what they did.
It was especially true for his team. They had the fringe people, and a lot of them were angry at life, for having left them freaks. Even when they weren't that bad looking and had easy to manage first modes, a lot of them were kind of jerks. They had to try not to take things out on you, and fix it when they did, but as long as they worked at it, Tobin tried to let it go.
That didn't mean he could say that in the moment, his body shaking slightly. It wasn't fear, or social anxiety either. It was rage. His own bit of a-hole behavior, which was shunted aside by the fact that communication was kind of out for the moment. Denis patted his shoulder, which was kind, but also felt patronizing. It was better than being called names, so Tobin let it happen, not pulling away.
Jason went on.
"There. We'll fix it here. Get to the bottom of it and not get everyone up at arms. Agent Burkes is a good guy, and we all know it. So is Operative Peterson. I'm sure..."
That got someone to interrupt on the other end, and it sounded like the Director, who was probably going to insist that he be punished for protecting himself anyway. It was nice of Jason to have stood up for him at all. Really cool, being that they weren't that close. True, it was mainly protecting Burkes, but his first words had been that Tobin, personally, hadn't been wrong. After a second...
Jason, who he'd never heard even raise his voice, let out a string of curse words into the handset, which had everyone staring at him. When he stopped there was a pause and then he actually growled into the phone.
"Fuck that! If you try to do that, we'll all leave. I'll take one of those movie deals and everyone can come live with me. You will not-" The black and slightly shiny secured phone was given back to Ms. Turner a little bit too hard, and then she sat very still, after requesting the last bit be said again.
"You want to have me arrest Tobin for assaulting Agent Burkes? That isn't wise, Kevin. Not at all. In fact, what the hell are you thinking? We have a bus load of witnesses that saw it happen and even Burkes is taking responsibility for it..." She sighed and shook her head, like it would make a difference. "No. We aren't doing that. What the..."
There was a long string of speech from the other side of the little box. After a bit, still holding himself, Tobin managed to rally enough to have a bit of color return and to mumble to Denis, who had to lean in again. He was worried, it was clear, but also a bit upset.
So was Tobin, but that wouldn't make any difference would it?
"Too ugly. Dirty Infected don't have rights, not even to live." That got the man next to him, who was wearing a blue jean button up shirt and slacks, to shake his head.
"Everyone loves you though. I can't see that happening. No one will do that."
Lauren was still all the way in the back, but she could make out enough that she got what was happening. Her hearing wasn't that great, for all that she was a good singer. It was all muffled a bit through her natural armor.
"Won't they? That it was even suggested... We don't get a lot of backing from the head office, on Team Two. I can see them trying to do that. Even locking him up for it, even if Burkes doesn't press charges. He's a regular human, and Tobin is too Infected looking for Director Moore to see as a person, I think. It's bigotry, but worse than the TCC crowd, in a way, because most of you can't even see when you're doing it." She sobbed a bit, which was a strange thing, since it was hollow and echoed a bit as everyone got quiet to hear her.
Marcia turned and waved at the woman, which was clearly to try and get her to shut up, since she was fanning the flames a little. Not that she wasn't right, just that saying that wouldn't get things to calm down. It got more harsh words from the device in the Deputy Director's hand, even as she pulled it away from her ear a bit.
"No, you look Moore, you're wrong and really are overreacting here. If you t
ry to do this, then it's going to cause a lot of issues for us that you really don't want. Think about it..." There was a leading tone to the words, as if trying to get him to really work something out.
That was probably about people from outside the IPB using this against them. They had a lot of enemies, and some of them had superhuman abilities too. Really powerful ones.
Like Director Moore's wife.
She was leading a charge against them from what Tobin had been told. It was a kind of power related thing, where her ability to see all the possible futures had driven her slightly crazy. She was smart though and just trying to make the world into what seemed to her to be the single best option. It wasn't working too well for them, in particular, since her chosen path was kind of one that led to a super massive war, but she might be involved in this. Somehow.
Or it could be that even Agent Burkes, who worked with the Infected each day, a man that lived with them all the time even, just didn't see the Uglies as being as valid as everyone else. Being able to tolerate a person wasn't the same as thinking they were as worthwhile as anyone else.
Tobin sighed, and tried to project even though his insides felt like they wanted to rip out as he did it.
"I fight, and have for years, to try and help people. To serve my country and to protect the innocent. But I can't even go and do the most basic of things without being reviled. People call me names and spit on me. Then, when something like this happens, my own people, the ones that are supposed to be on my side, try to have me arrested, for daring to not allow myself to be killed." It came out loud enough that the phones both went silent and he was able to stand up, walking toward the front of the bus, where the door was. Agent Reyes still had his phone on, and that meant that someone would hear him, on the other side. For all the good it would do him.
"I can't take this anymore. I don't know if I can quit, or if you'll just try to kill me for it. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I..." It was a big deal, even saying the words. His whole life had been about being part of the system. A thing that didn't think he was worth anything at all. "I quit. I'm going now."
He half expected Agent Reyes to shoot him in the back of the head as he pulled on the door to get it open. It was normally automatic, but had a handle too, and while awkward, wasn't impossible to use. There was silence from behind him, but when he got outside, Marcia was right behind him, her face looking hard.
"A bit of an overreaction on your part, isn't it?" She took his shoulder, but managed to do it softly enough that it wasn't an attack. It still meant he couldn't walk away, since her strength was so much greater than his that it wouldn't work without really fighting her. "Besides, even if you quit the IPB, that doesn't mean you have to stop your tour. They aren't paying for it, your label is. Since that's Christian Pours, I don't really think she's going to cut you off." There was a strange look that was nearly like a smile on her face, but the woman didn't try to explain.
"I... They'll kill me, for leaving. Won't they? We all know it." He looked down, and hugged his arms around himself for warmth, even if it wasn't that cold out at all. It was all psychological.
She did something strange then, and nodded.
"Yeah, they really will. You're too high profile for us to just let go. Worse, no one will just let it happen. Jason wasn't kidding in there. Proxy has already started spreading the word about the whole thing too, and Team Three is pretty much on your side. That includes Rachel, which means that Prime and Bridget are probably in on your side too. She's Scott's mom after all. She's also dating Kevin, so you know that he's got to be rethinking the whole idea right about now. It was stupid of him, but he tends to assume that the Infected are the problem, as often as not. It's a mild thing, but I honestly think it's part of his mode. He can see reason though, and I think that he'll back down in a few minutes, if you don't rush off into the night. You aren't wrong. I still think it's a bad plan for you to go and start shit in a store, knowing that it almost has to happen, but that doesn't mean you can't, or don't have a right to. That was all I was trying to get across to you earlier. I'm just a bossy bitch, so it came out sounding like an order."
She hugged him and didn't let go for a bit, but while it was nice, he was too worked up to enjoy it really.
"I shouldn't have to even say these things. There shouldn't be an arrest warrant for this, and that isn't even legal, is it? I mean, we can't be arrested for things like assault, it's in the law." At least they were always told that. "All that leaves is a Death Warrant. For speaking up about being treated like I am..." Misery spread from his voice, and Marcia cleared her throat.
"That's a bit of a leap. He was talking about a twenty-four hour hold to make sure you weren't going to keep attacking people. Lockup, not real arrest, and no one said anything about a Death Warrant. It wasn't the best plan on his part, but it's not that dire yet."
"Isn't it? I can't even leave. That means I'm a prisoner, doesn't it?" He moved back, so that he could look up at her, the night finally dark enough that only the cars going by were lighting things up at all. That and the ones from inside the bus. It had tinted windows on the sides and back, so all he could see was Agent Reyes, talking to someone on the phone.
She nodded again, being extra agreeable that night for some reason.
"We all are. Jason can threaten to leave, but that won't be allowed either. Or, it might, since he isn't a threat to anyone, but I can't. Brian wouldn't be allowed to leave and knows it too. The only thing that happens if one of us tries, the people with too high of a profile, is that a war starts. The second everyone realizes that they aren't just trapped by circumstances, but that they're actually not allowed to ever leave, then they'll all fight, to do just that. A lot of people could die over this, Peterson. Right now. Based on what you do next. It's so obvious that I can't see why Kevin isn't on the phone, begging you to understand right now. He doesn't hate you or anything, and has to at least understand what you're saying. It isn't fair."
Tobin was feeling like he was truly trapped then, since she'd just basically told him that he had to be a good little prisoner and get back on the bus, or everything in the world could fall apart, because he insisted on being treated like everyone else. At the same time, Reyes was watching them. He wasn't going for his weapon or anything, so there was at least that, but he seemed upset. It played over his face, even from a distance. That was probably due to him having to be the one to kill him if he tried to leave, or something. It wouldn't work. Not really.
Shaking his head he tried to come up with the right words, it was too hard to speak, his insides twisting and making him feel weak and stupid.
"I... It's all too easy for you. I know that. I know that you can't feel the same way that the rest of us, most of us at the base, do. I can say the words, but it isn't how you experience the world, so it doesn't seem right to you." His skin had turned a deep black and brown, he thought, at least his hands were black, which was what that normally meant. Still, he wasn't sounding strong or confident at the moment. If anything he sounded very young and a bit weak. "You can see things happening to me, but you don't live them, and never will. Not really. It's beyond not being fair, it's enough to make it so I don't want to live anymore. I do it, because I'm supposed to be making the world a better place for other people. You showed that isn't the case tonight. It isn't possible, and I won't be allowed to do it."
It was a bit accusing, but the woman only made a face. Her hands were still on his shoulders, which meant that she was preventing him from trying to leave anyway.
Again, even with all that he'd just said, Tobin understood that she wasn't wrong. He was going to have to show that he didn't have any pride at all, get back on the bus and probably be locked up on the base for what had happened. Maybe even longer now, because he hadn't gone along meekly.
She shook her head a bit, making her curls bounce, but not sway, being too short still.
"Look, I'm just trying to make it all work. Yes, that means I'm stomping all ov
er your rights today. I won't forever. Burkes... I don't think he meant anything, by trying to kill you. I know that sounds weak, but I doubt it was about stopping you from expressing yourself or going out in public. He said personal problems, and if it was you, say, he thinks you should have been following orders better, that would have been what he reported." She didn't order him back on the bus, but did wave at it. "I can't fix the world. You can't either. I hear what you're saying, but I don't know what to do about it. All I know is that if you make your stand here, right now, a lot of people you know and love will die. Just as bad, they'll probably kill a whole lot more innocent people trying to get free, too. It's your choice, but I'd like it if you at least made a real plan first, and not just half-assed the end of the world."
Then, without saying more, she walked back to the large black vehicle.
The one with his name on the side.
Sighing and feeling like the whole thing was very unfair, he followed her.
There was really nothing else that he could do.
Chapter two
They got back on the freeway, and drove for hours. The only stop they made was so that people could stretch their legs and go into the little store at the gas station. It was decently sized, since they had to use a truck stop, but Tobin knew that he wasn't going to get to go in. It wasn't what he'd suggested earlier, but Jason came out with several hundred dollars of snack foods and was willing to share. Tobin got a small fried thing that had barbeque beef in it. It wasn't what he wanted, but that was just the way things went. All he'd ever be allowed to have was what no one else needed.