by Abbey Foxx
“Alright, let’s go over it again.”
I watch him pace from one side of the boat to the other, his steps measured, the action hypnotic.
“Name?”
“Alex Vann Haden.”
“Parents?”
“Divorced.”
“Relationship with your father?”
He stops to look at me. “Is this necessary?”
I shrug and rifle through the strawberries looking for a big juicy one to place between my lips. An act of theatrical indifference, a flirtation tool. Alex carries on pacing.
“Normal. Ups and downs.”
“Mother?”
“Better. I don’t see her a lot now.”
“Brothers and sisters?”
“Promise me that after this, we go for a swim.”
“I haven’t brought my bathing costume.”
“Then I promise I won’t look.”
“You can’t make a promise that your eyes can’t keep.”
“Then you’ll just have to get your own back.”
“Brothers and sisters?”
“You already know this.”
“Then tell me something I don’t know.”
“Have you ever considered a career in psychology?”
“I have to ask questions if I’m going to know what to write, and you have to tell me the truth if you want me to do what you’ve asked.”
Alex pauses to wet his lips with champagne, takes the strawberry I have in my hand and places it mischievously between his teeth. An act of indifference, a flirtation tool. Eyes like gemstones shimmering in the sizzling sun.
“One brother, a twin, died in a car crash aged ten.”
It bolts me upright. I didn’t know.
“I didn’t know.”
“Nobody knows.”
“A car crash?”
“Cars crash every day.”
“Do you miss him?”
“He was my twin brother, Lucy. You would have liked him, he was less of an asshole than I am. A better baller too. Luke had a forearm like a ship’s cannon.”
“They say admitting it is the first part of solving the problem.”
“Then I’m well on my way.”
“You talk to anyone about it?”
“No.”
“That why your parents divorced?”
“Bingo.”
“That why you’re such a jerk?”
Again Alex pauses. He gives me a look of mock appall, pours himself some more champagne and then sits on the opposite side of the boat, arms crossed, closed in.
“I told you I get misunderstood and misrepresented.”
“Why did you tell me about your brother?”
“Why did you ask?”
It’s a fair point.
“Ok. What else?”
“What else do you need?”
“Everything.”
“I don’t think you’ve got enough time.”
“Then give me the TL;DR.”
“Why don’t you tell me what you know and I’ll fill in the gaps.”
“You realize that if this an ongoing story, we’re going to need an angle.”
“I guess that depends on who wins the bet.”
“Ok, so we have our angle. Alex Vann Haden retires because a girl refuses to sleep with him.”
“You’re confident in your ability to resist me.”
“And right now I’ve run out of ice.”
Alex shifts a little, his head tilted to the side, questioningly. “What are you scared of?”
“That’s a reporter’s question.”
“No, seriously, tell me. If I’m being honest, you need to be too.”
“What am I scared of?”
“Yeah. You’re scared now, I can see it. You were clearly scared at college too, of what, I don’t know. Is it rejection, or just not liking it. Are you scared of me?”
“Don’t flatter yourself.”
“Then tell me.”
Now I tilt my head at him. The two of us floating on a boat in the middle of nowhere. I never thought this would happen when I was at college.
“You really want to know?”
Alex shrugs. “Sure.”
“I’ve been in shitty relationships with shitty men and I don’t want that to happen again.”
“You’ve had your heart broken.”
“Million pieces.”
“Not all men are the same.”
“Says the guy who has slept with more people than I have listed as friends on facebook.”
“I’ve seen your list of friends on facebook, Kyle Orton has slept with more people than that.”
“You’re stalking me now?”
“I had to do my research.”
“You know, this is beginning to sound a bit like an obsession.”
“Don’t flatter yourself.”
“Five years is a long time to hold a torch.”
“I’m not the only one.”
“I told you already, I haven’t decided whether I like you yet.”
“No, that’s not it at all.”
“Oh?”
“You like me, you just haven’t decided whether to admit it yet.”
I have to smile at that.
“What do you want?”
“I want to get to know you.”
“Have you run out of other options already?”
“I was curious.”
“You mean, you wanted to set the record straight.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means you failed first time around.”
“I didn’t try first time around.”
“And what are you looking to achieve right now?”
“I don’t know, I hadn’t planned that far ahead.”
“How far ahead had you planned?”
“One, invite you here, two, get to know you-.”
I cut in. “Three, get me in bed, four, move onto the next.”
“Your words, not mine, and definitely not quotable.”
I put my hands up. “Sorry.”
“Three always depended on whether we liked each other.”
“And four?”
“Those days are behind me.”
“You’re a one woman man now?”
“I always have been, I’ve just never found the right woman.”
“That clearly wasn’t for the lack of trying.”
“You’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs-.”
“Or fuck a lot of cheerleaders.”
Alex gives a controlled laugh that I think is a suggestion he treats the comment as I intend it to be received.
“You never thought about trying out?”
“I never had the flexibility.”
“There’s always time to practice.”
“I can’t risk breaking my body as well as my heart.”
“Then we’ll just have to go slowly.”
“Are you capable of that? Alex Vann Haden doesn’t strike me as a man that has that kind of gear change in his locker.”
“There’s probably a lot about me that will surprise you.”
“Go on.”
“I’ve never been in love.”
“Don’t tell me that relationship with Christina Litven wasn’t as profound as I was led to believe.”
“You know she cheated on me?”
“Welcome to the real world.”
“I’ve never cheated on anyone in my life.”
“You don’t stay with them long enough.”
“That hurts.”
Again, I hold up my hands. I’m being a hard-ass but only because I know in doing so I’ll get to see the real AVH. “Sorry, I forgot you were a perfect boyfriend.”
“Bad boy, yes, love rat, no. I don’t go in for that and I can’t understand people who do.”
To be fair, he’s right. Alex doesn’t cheat. He breaks hearts and he ends relationships, but he doesn’t cheat.
“You know what I think?” I say.
“What do you think?”
/>
“I think you’re scared of commitment.”
Alex shakes his head and then he shakes the index finger of an extended hand. “Impossible.”
“You had anyone propose to you?”
“I wasn’t in love with her.”
“Anyone ask you to move in?”
“It didn’t make sense at the time.”
“I rest my case.”
“I told you already, they weren’t the right women.”
“And I am?”
“Maybe.”
“Or do you just want to fuck me?”
“I want to fuck you anyway, I always have. I still do. In fact, I do even more now that you are here, and I can see you’ve matured into the woman that sits across from me. You’re sexy and confident and independent, and those things turn me on, but you’re fragile too, which I find almost the most beautiful thing about you. There is a peacefulness and restlessness that fight each other inside you, and I think at the moment you are at a point in your life where you can’t work out why.”
“A simple yes would have done.”
“A simple yes isn’t enough in your case.”
There is a moment that thickens the sexual tension in the air until I can’t cope with it anymore. I’m horny, he’s making me horny, he’s telling me he likes me and I know I still like him, it’s just, what if this is part of his game to win me over? What if this is all bullshit? I need more time to think it through. It has to be right and it feels almost too early to admit to it. Is this really why I’m here? Is it my fate to end up here with him?
“Thank you for being honest”, I say.
“It took me a while to find the courage.”
“How did you know you still liked me?”
“I didn’t. I just needed to know if I did. When I saw you tumbling out of the helicopter yesterday, I knew.”
“So what do we do now?”
“Have you finished asking your questions?”
“For now, yes.”
“Then we swim.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s up to you. Work out what you need to work out and maybe you’ll change your mind about that bet.”
I laugh.
“What?”
“I think I’m getting used to your arrogance.”
“Confidence.”
“Don’t push it.”
Alex stands up, peers over the boat into the water and decides on which side suits him best.
“Close your eyes.”
“You’re not going to-.”
Too late. Alex’s board shorts are nothing but a bunched up ball of fabric on the deck and out of squinted together eyes, behind a theatrically placed hand I’m watching perfection itself jump from the boat and into the water.
I race across to the side he’s leaped from to watch him break the water again on his return up to the surface. The water is clear, but far too blue to see all the way through.
Alex smiles up at me and I can’t help return the gesture.
“Are you trying to seduce me? Is that what this is? Is this the patented Alex Vann Haden way?”
“I’m going for a swim, and just so you know, if you see what you’re trying so desperately to pretend you’re not looking at, it’s cold in here so it’s not a fair reflection.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“I guess I must be growing on you then.”
Alex splashes water towards me and the shock makes me stumble backwards and rock the boat. When I get back to the edge, Alex pretends to send another handful of water my way, pulling out of it at the last minute.
“That’s not fair.”
“Are you coming in?”
“No bathers.” I repeat emphatically towards him.
“Shame. It’s beautiful here, and we won’t be able to do this again.”
“I’ll have to live with the regret.”
“Come on, it’s not like I haven’t seen a naked body before.”
“Not mine.”
“I’ll keep my eyes closed.”
“I don’t believe that for a minute.”
“Then just take that dress off and come in in your panties and bra. You know how to swim right?”
“I know how to swim.”
“So?”
The water does look inviting. To be honest, everything about this looks inviting, I’m just having trouble processing what’s going on. Even a couple of days ago my life was completely different, and now, it’s like I’m in a dream. Alex Vann Haden, no wait, let me get this right, a naked Alex Vann Haden, who has just told me he wants to fuck me, is swimming in deserted blue waters off the Caribbean coast and what am I doing but staring at him from the boat like some kind of plum, because I’m scared he’s either joking me or just not serious about long term commitment. Damn this is getting harder and harder to resist.
Alright, if he’s serious about it, we can always do it again another time. He owns this island and we can always come back, storms or not. One more day won’t hurt us both. One more day and I’ll find out more about his intentions and long enough will have passed for me to not consider myself a sleep with anyone at the drop of a hat kind of slut.
“I’m waiting.”
“Just a swim?”
“Just a swim.”
“Are you going to try and kiss me again?”
“I wasn’t the one leaning in first.”
“That did not happen and you know it.”
Alex shrugs his shoulders while I go a little red.
“Panties and bra?”
“As long as you still don’t mind I’m naked.”
“That I don’t mind at all.”
“You might find me impossible to resist.”
“Then I guess we’ll have to cross that bridge when we come to it.”
“Close your eyes.”
“I thought you said panties and bra.”
“I know, I just don’t want to get you too excited. Rhinos aren’t natural swimmers after all.”
The water feels cold as I break it, refreshing as I sink a couple of meters underwater and absolutely incredible as I break the surface again. Alex waits until I’ve reorientated himself and then dives underneath me to sneak up just behind me.
“It’s better without clothes”, he says.
“Everything is better without clothes.”
“I promise I won’t tell anyone.”
“If I can wait, so can you.”
“What for?”
“The moment it’s right.”
“That moment passed an hour ago.”
“Then that wasn’t the right moment.”
“Kiss me.”
My mouth hangs open at the request.
“Uhuh”, I say and shake my head.
“You like playing hard to get.”
“I like making sure.”
I swim away to gain distance.
“You want to kiss me, I can see it.”
“I want to not kiss you even more.”
“How long do you think you can hold out?”
“As long as I need to.”
“You know, the ball’s in your court now.”
“Don’t tell me the world famous lothario is giving up so easily.”
Alex splashes me and I splash him back.
“Not giving up, just waiting for the right moment”, he says.
“Then that’s both of us.”
“You look sexy when you’re trying to avoid admitting you like me.”
That makes me laugh. I splash water on Alex and he turns to swim away, his cute little ass breaking the surface for a moment.
“Just so you know, I’m not the fuck them and leave them kind of guy. I know that’s what you’re scared of.”
“I’m not scared of fucking you and leaving you”, I say.
“You’re an idiot.”
I can’t believe I’m even thinking this. Maybe the sun’s got to my brain and addled it.
“If we fuck, which is definitely not on the
cards by any means, but if we do end up fucking, you and I, I want to know it means something to you”, I say.
“I guess you won’t really know until we do it.”
“And I’m not the kind of girl who lets a guy in easily.”
“I can see.”
“You don’t deserve it.”
“You’re way too serious about making sure of that.”
“Sometimes not getting what you want is a good life lesson.”
“I’ve already had five years to think that over.”
“Then a little while longer won’t make much difference.”
“I knew you’d be hard work.”
“But worth it.”
Alex is getting closer and I have to push water towards him to make sure he keeps his distance.
“Kiss me”, he says.
I shake my head again and gain distance. Refusing him is almost as fun as giving in would be. It’s certainly having the desired effect. I’m going to push him right to the limit and then just when he’s on the edge and about to fall, that’s when I’m going to give in. I know myself well enough to know I already will.
We swim around each other, the atmosphere thick with sexual tension, neither one quite sure what to say. I watch those eyes, those biceps, that blurred thickness below the water and I know he watches me watch and watches my body too, his smile too difficult to hide.
He’s genuinely happy I’m here and for a guy that has essentially made a career out of making sure he doesn’t smile to keep his bad boy rep, this is completely unexpected. I’m happy too, I can’t deny that. I’m still in shock that this is all happening, especially with Alex Vann Haden, but that doesn’t mean I’m not able to appreciate it.
Not even two days in and he’s winning me over, which is bad because I’m the kind of girl that when she falls, falls hard. That’s part of the reason I’m holding myself back. The other part because this is AVH.
This is the boy of my dreams turned into a man I can’t fault, no matter how hard I’m trying to find them. He’s right so far. Cocky, arrogant, full of himself womanizer, that’s all for show. With me, so far at least, I haven’t seen his flaws. Which means that this man is dangerous, and this situation is very precarious indeed. Fuck. Very much, oh fuck. I can see it happening and I don’t know whether they’ll be much I can do to avoid it. Prolong it maybe, but avoid it, no chance.
“Close your eyes.”
Alex closes his eyes.
“Close them properly.”
Alex closes them properly.
“Now make a wish.”
Giggling, I swim up to Alex, get my lips as close to his as I can without them actually touching, close enough to feel the heat from his thicken mine, close enough to feel his heartbeat and blood run through his veins and thicken other parts of his body, close enough to feel my whole body tingle and almost too close to stop, before I drop into the water, get a stolen eye full of his swollen manhood and make it quickly back to the boat.