by Corey Andrew
Eric Idle
It’s never a good sign for a reporter when the person he’s interviewing says, “I really don’t like doing interviews.”
And when that statement is followed by a string of curses because of a scheduling misunderstanding, you might as well give up.
Luckily, Monty Python’s Eric Idle did relax enough to answer a few questions for me.
Idle has been a helluva lot busier than his moniker suggests.
“The Pythons,” a massive coffee table autobiography, was authored by Idle and the other members of Python, including John Cleese, Michael Palin, Terry Jones and Terry Gilliam with older interviews from Graham Chapman, the only non-living member of the troupe (if you don’t count the parrot).
Idle also released a CD of songs and skits called “The Rutland Isles,” which includes a song about gay animals and one called “Penis Fish.” He has also traveled the country with his “Greedy Bastard” show.
Corey Stulce: What is your live show all about?
Eric Idle: It’s a chance for me to talk to the audience. Early on it’s more stand-up, and later on it’s more autobiographical. I talk about things and people I knew and George Harrison. I perform a song he and I wrote. It’s more intimate in Act 2. We hit on some old songs and funny material and some old Python stuff.
Corey: The Pythons have had a rabid following over the years …
Eric: A rabbit following?
Corey: A rabid …
Eric: (Interrupts) That’s right, it was a killer rabbit following.
Corey: This is an opportunity for you to get …
Eric: Get my revenge, you know. I can be rabid back to them. We had a rabbi following, I think, ‘The Life of Brian.’
Corey: What do you think about the fans who quote entire scenes and …
Eric: As long as they pay, they’re fabulous. You know, the minute they try and do it for nothing, I think they should be sued and destroyed.
Corey: The big autobiography just came out.
Eric: Yes, the big book-y, the heaviest book in the world. It’s trying to compete pound for pound with The Beatles’ book. And eventually the Rolling Stones are gonna do one, so it’s going to be the heaviest book award. It’s very good for weightlifting.
Corey: How did this project get started?
Eric: I think the greedy bastards who run the book company had an idea and they sold it to us at a weak moment. We all kind of consented individually.
Corey: Do you feel there were portions of the story that needed to be out there?
Eric: Need? I think not. Greed? I think so. Maybe it’s interesting, I don’t know. I never read The Beatles’ one, but sort of thumbed through it, you know. I think it’s too many words. It’s not really a form that invites the reader. Michael Palin said ‘It’s un-put-down-able and un-pick-up-able.’ That’s about right.
Corey: What exactly is the fascination with gay animals?
Eric: I think it’s an interesting thing, the behaviorism. We’re all animals. We tend to try and separate ourselves from that. I think it’s a comical idea that there’s gay behavior among the animals, too. I think that’s perfectly legitimate.
Corey: Are you happy to be known as the songsmith of the group?
Eric: Yeah, I’m happy to be known as anything, really. I’d like to be known as the witty, the wise, the most handsome, the most elegant—but the songsmith will do. Actually, it’s not entirely true, Mike and Terry wrote some great ones, especially for ‘The Meaning of Life.’ They wrote ‘Every Sperm is Sacred’—a fabulous song.
Corey: Are you performing just your songs on the tour?
Eric: I’m performing mine. I don’t do theirs; they don’t do mine. I do things that interest me and I want to do—that works for an evening of entertainment. The thing is, you have an idea of what you might like and then you try it on audiences. We’ve been shaping it and we’ve been up into Canada and we’ve pulled it tight and we have a nice show now, and we’re bringing it back into the States.
Corey: What has been the best idea for a Python reunion?
Eric: I think the best thing is they should clamor in another direction, because I’m the one who tends to spend a lot of time putting things together for them. We’re gonna do ‘Monty Python and the Holy Grail’ on Broadway next year, which is a thing I’ve been working on with John Du Prez, my partner who I’ve been on tour with. We’ve got lots of silly songs and a book and Mike Nichols is directing it, and that’s going to be next year’s project.
Corey: Can you tell me a little about the new songs?
Eric: You have things like ‘I Fart in Your General Direction’ and ‘Spanking Tonight.’ It lends itself very nicely to adaptation with silly songs, and I’m hoping we can find a good cast to get a good fighting show to go out there and amuse people.
Corey: Are you planning on using some of the Terry Gilliam-designed sets and animation for it?
Eric: I don’t know what we’re going to do about that. It’s an intriguing thought. I love the Terry Gilliam looks. In many ways, the sets and decor are kind of conditioned by the movie. The costumes are locked in, and I did want to get Gilliam involved. I did hope to bring it in under $20 million. He is a famous artist who works ruthlessly through the state budget. I thought we should put him onto California first. I’m sure he’ll come along. I’m sure they’ll all come along and be involved. I know that. They both directed that movie, Jones and Gilliam. And I’m sure John will come and be involved and have a look. The thing is, I’m a good starter. I tend to put things up and then I get exhausted and then they come along and say, ‘Do this, that and the other.’ I’m an Aries; I’m a starter. That’s what I do in Python, I start things.
Corey: So, you’re a good motivator.
Eric: Yes. Recently, they’ve not finished anything, but this one’s going ahead, so that’s good.
Corey: Can we try word association?
Eric: You’re the second one to try this today. Is this a new interviewing technique? Do you all read some big book of interviewing idiots? Yes, you can try it.
Corey: If I were to say ‘John Cleese,’ you would say …
Eric: I would say ‘tall.’ This is like a Rorschach test. John Cleese—what else can someone say about John? He’s very funny and very tall.
Corey: And here it was, I thought I had come up with something original.
Eric: I’m sorry, but you’re the second one today. What can I tell you?
Corey: You could have lied.
Eric: Why would I lie? You’re interviewing me.
Corey: It was a failed experiment.
Eric: It was a failed experiment. Here’s what I did, I said, ‘Michael Palin, tall.’ No, no, ‘John Cleese, tall; Michael Palin, funny; Terry Jones, wonderful; Terry Gilliam, mad and wonderful; and Graham, missed.’ That’s what I did. And George, very, very sadly missed. That was the scheme.
Stella: David Wain, Michael Ian Black & Michael Showalter
So…interviewing three comics who together are known as Stella with a nightclub act where all three intermittently play the asshole was fun but puzzling and challenging.
Two of them, Michael Showalter and Michael Ian Black, are both—obviously—named Michael, and this was an interview over the phone, so I should have guessed things would be slightly odd.
What I got was slightly odder.
Corey: Hi, David.
David Wain: Yes. Hi, Michael Showalter’s older brother, Wedge, is here, Michael Black and myself, David Wain.
Michael Ian Black: Hi.
Wedge Showalter: Hey.
Corey: How’s it going, Wedge?
Wedge: Pretty good.
Corey: You guys did a little touring this year with the Stella show. How do you think it went?
Michael: It’s been great so far. Wedge, what did you think?
Wedge: It was a blast. It was a non-stop party.
Corey: Did you go on the road with them, Wedge?
Wedge: I’m their, like, all-
purpose crew guy.
Corey: Kind of like a roadie?
Wedge: Yeah.
Michael: Not like a roadie, definitely not like a roadie.
Wedge: I’m their toilet to, like, take craps on.
Michael: Wedge, come on. He’s got a little bit of an attitude about it.
Wedge: I’m like a human toilet bowl for these divas to take doo-doos on.
Michael: Hey, come on, man. We did it for Showalter because Wedge hasn’t been doing so well. Wedge worked at the DMV until last month. He lost that job; he needed something to do, so we took him on the road.
Wedge: I have a Ph.D. in mathematics from Yale.
Michael: He’s brilliant, there’s no way of getting around it.
Wedge: I invented an equation.
David: He always gets fired from his job, but we can’t tell you why.
Corey: It sounds like a ‘Good Will Hunting’ kind of thing.
Michael: A lot like that, actually.
David: More like ‘A Beautiful Mind’ kind of thing.
Corey: Good deal.
Michael: Quite the paranoia.
Corey: I’ve had the opportunity to see some of the shorts available on the Web site. Can you explain a little bit about how the live show runs?
David: The live show is different from the shorts. It’s just the three of us onstage just fucking doing it.
Michael: Or talking and singing and laughing and loving. There’s some hand jobs. There’s some wax jobs.
Wedge: Is that OK with you?
Corey: That’s fine. You guys have been working together for quite a few years. Can you explain how you collaborate on the writing process?
(silence)
Michael: Uh, I don’t know, just write the shit. I’ve got a typewriter.
David: It’s like, how about if I come in and say like, ‘Mike, what the hell’s your problem?’ And he’s like …
Michael: And I might be like, ‘That’s some of the best shit. Maybe this should be in Stella.’ We type it up on my Underwood.
David: We show it to Showalter, and he changes the words around, and you’ve got yourself some comedy.
Corey: Is Stella named after someone’s grandma or something?
David: It’s gonna be weird. We named it after your mother.
Corey: Her name is Karen.
Michael: No, it’s not.
David: Not in her glory days, before you were born.
Michael: We knew one day our paths might cross, and we knew this might get awkward. But she spent some time in Bangkok before you were born, and her name was Stella at that time.
Wedge: Hey, hey Don!
Michael: His name is Corey.
Wedge: Yeah, I’m not wearing any pants.
Michael: Wedge.
David: Wedge, come on.
Wedge: Hey, hey Dan.
Michael: His name is Corey.
Corey: Yes, Wedge.
Wedge: I’m only in my underwear.
Corey: That’s very special.
Michael: Wedge is in his underwear. They’re like boxer briefs.
David: I wish you could see what’s going on in this room. Too bad you don’t have a staff photographer.
Corey: One of the other things I thought was interesting about the short films was the music you guys used. For example, the Saturday short film with music by Chicago. Do you guys have to get the rights to use the music for those?
Michael: Is this a legal question?
David: No comment.
Michael: You’d have to talk to our barrister.
Wedge: Are you related to the Peter Cetera?
Corey: No relation to Chicago.
David: I notice that you’re from Illinois.
Corey: Very perceptive. We’ll just skip past that question. How do you guys travel when you’re on the road?
Michael: Jet.
Corey: You don’t take a bus or anything like that?
Michael: Jet. We’ve got a Gulf Stream 4 that Motley Crue toured in, and we lease it from Vince Neil.
David: I live in the jet year-round.
Corey: So it’s pretty functional.
Michael: Pretty functional, unless you’ve got to take a dump, because Gulf Streams don’t have bathrooms.
David: I find it tough when I just need to go up to Midtown, driving up the street.
Wedge: Hey, Jeff, Jeff!
Michael: His name is Corey.
Wedge: Are you in the mile high club?
Corey: No, I’m not.
Michael: Wedge, shut up.
Wedge: Why, are you too prude?
Michael: Shut up!
Corey: I’m not crazy about flying, so I usually try to sleep.
Michael: You don’t have to answer him, Corey.
David: Don’t even listen to Wedge.
Wedge: You have no dick?
Michael: Wedge, we’re trying to do an interview. Can you go in the other room?
David: I really wish Michael could have been here.
Michael: Yeah, where’s your brother?
Wedge: He’s out.
Corey: You guys have some pictures on the Web site. I notice in the pictures from the early days, you look happy, smiling. The pictures from the 2003 tour, you look very solemn. Is there a reason for that?
David: Because when you’re older, you’re that much closer to death.
Corey: You guys are still relatively young, though.
Michael: Not me.
Corey: Can I ask how old you are Michael?
Michael: Yeah.
Corey: Can you answer?
Michael: I didn’t say I was gonna answer you, just that you could ask.
Corey: You guys are coming to Missouri this year. Earlier this year we had another threesome that came to town: REO Speedwagon, Styx and Journey. How would say that compares?
Michael: REO Speedwagon is the three-man group?
Corey: No, no, no, three different bands.
Michael: Oh, who did you have?
Corey: REO Speedwagon, Styx and Journey.
Michael: That’s a sweet line up, dude.
Corey: Can you relate each member of Stella to one of the groups?
Michael: There’s only one member of any of those groups that I can name: Steve Perry.
Corey: Steve Perry is no longer with Journey.
David: They have new singer who sounds just like Steve Perry, right?
Michael: What’s his name?
Corey: His name is also Steve.
Michael: Steve Perry?
David: What about Kevin from REO Speedwagon?
Michael: I don’t know who he is.
Wedge: I like that one from Styx!
Michael: Shut up!
Wedge: In the dick area. I have a big dick in my pants.
David: No, it’s a potato.
Wedge: SHUT THE FUCK UP!
David: It looks like a toothpick, FYI. I touched it.
Wedge: No, it looks like a hockey stick.
Corey: Michael, are you still with us?
Michael: I’m here, yeah.
Corey: Now, David Wain and Showalter have their own Web sites. Why don’t you have one?
Michael: I had one, but it got overloaded, the server. I don’t know. Do you want to build me one?
Corey: I could give it a shot.
David: Would it be like, Michael Ian Black dot com or something?
Michael: That’s very funny. I prefer to be more enigmatic than that. I don’t like to make myself available to the public.
Wedge: But he’s on Friendster.
Michael: Yeah, I’m on Friendster.
Corey: How many connections do you have on there?
Michael: 12.
Wedge: The entire starting defense of the St. Louis Cardinals.
David: You mean your last date?