by Pamela Ann
Womanizer
Woman-Womanizer
You're a womanizer
Oh Womanizer
Oh You're a Womanizer Baby
You, You You Are
You, You You Are
Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer
Each time Lindsey uttered the word womanizer, she pointed to a man—any man. Ha! Girlfriend was on a roll. Guess Cooper Haze was now history, huh?
I sang and danced with my gals until I couldn’t do it any longer. Out of breath, I jumped down off the bar and hunted myself some bottled water. I took one from the sprawling amount of iced beverage next to the bar we danced on and walked out of the house needing distance from the riotous commotion that Lindsey evoked. At the same time, I couldn’t stand the swirling thoughts of the men in my life.
Once outside, I walked towards the backyard and beyond and welcomed the fresh change of scenery before me. The moon was high and my entire skin was blanketed in sweat. The earthy smell of pine and crisp air cleared my jumbled brain.
Lindsey was hurt. I got that and I did feel for her. But at the same time, if I was Cooper or Brody, how would I feel if the woman I was after couldn’t make up her damn mind? Well, I guess that didn’t take long because Cece made that decision easier for her. I just hoped that Lindsey would be okay.
Occupied, I strolled at a leisured pace until I hit the stream. I strode towards it and leaned against a pine tree as I stared at the flowing water and the calming sound it produced. The trickling sound made me feel at peace.
Who would’ve thought a month ago I would be in this position? Life certainly has its way of surprising you when you least expected it, especially when you’re down and out.
No matter what happened with Bass, if we became involved or not, I will forever be grateful to him. Not only did he open a lot of doors for me and not only did he make it an easy transition for me, he made me realize a lot of things. He made me see that life is about following what your gut tells you to do and not what others expect you to–his ‘half and half’ speech.
Bass was a passionate man. He spoke with conviction and truth. He was straightforward and didn’t hesitate when he wanted something. I wanted to be like that. I hoped to become that. In a sense, I admired him. I admired his passion and his authenticity. He was the real thing. What was exemplary about his personality was that he didn’t let all the fames and fortunes in the world get to his handsome head. Bass was a grounded man.
Even with all that, I couldn’t bring myself to be with Bass. Yes, things were running in the fast lane—even faster than the German Autobahn—and it startles me that things unfolded as quickly as they did. But even if I could get over with that fact about things going too fast with Bass, it wouldn’t eradicate what I felt for Carter.
Sure, my love for Carter weren’t as strong as before I met Bass, but it was still there. It was lurking in there somewhere and when I least expected it; it popped right out at me like a jack-in-the-box.
Carter…where the heck do I even begin with his tumultuous rollercoaster?
I tensed when I heard a twig snap bringing me out of my reverie.
Well, isn’t it the very man himself following me about?
“Emma.”
I sighed. Couldn’t I just have a moment’s peace without him hounding me?
“What do you want Carter? Are you giving me my phone back? If you came here to be an ass again—then I suggest you go back before I pummel your body into the ground!” I threatened.
In reality, I am not capable of beating him into the ground—he’s all muscle, but I needed to relay the kind of angered state I am in. Carter was being beyond unreasonable.
He makes two-year old tantrums easier to deal with.
Carter deeply sighed as he raked his large sexy hand through his hair. The moonlight made him look even more dangerously beautiful, much to my dismay. The last thing I needed was for me to gawk and praise his Adonis form and beauty. Carter already had an over-sized ego. I didn’t need to sign-up on the lengthy list of his army of women.
“Em—I know I’ve been such a jerk to you for the last three months. It’s just—that’s how I was used to things and I don’t like changing what is normal to me. But this past week has been pure hell. I really want you back in my life.” Carter came closer, pained and unsure. He stared at me with such burning emotions, I felt faint. “I’m sorry. Please…please…forgive me?” He asked as he tried to reach out to me—but I quickly moved to the side, not wanting him to touch me.
Words.
I have realized that words don’t mean much. Actions do speak louder than words. One can lie and utter any damn lines to soften a girl up…but actions…actions can move mountains. Through actions, one can reach their dreams and goals, not words. In reference to the movie Tristan and Isolde, Tristan spoke his love through actions. Yeah, he never failed to tell Isolde that he loved her, but his actions were far more powerful. He proved his unwavering love, no matter the circumstance. It was beautiful and at the same time fatally tragic.
Sorry from Carter wouldn’t cut it with me. Well, not anymore.
“You’re sorry? For the last week, you’ve been acting like a rascal who wanted his old toy back. Well—that’s just it, Carter! I told you I was done with you. I am done with our half ass kind of relationship. I want more than sex. I want commitment—I want it all! You’re not that man—you have phobia when it comes to commitment. So, please, just walk away and stop pursuing me.”
He moved a little closer before he spoke, sounding more sure, more than ever. “I could be and I will—for you I will, Em. Just give me a chance!”
Empty promises, they didn’t mean shit anymore. Oh, he’s good with those.
“Promises—here we go again. Save your promises for another woman who would rather die to hear them from you. I am not that woman, Carter—not anymore. It’s best you get that drilled in your head.” I hugged myself and started to walk fast, away from him and back to the cabin.
I was so over this.
I’d reached my limit when it came to Carter. I don’t think I can stomach this crazy tug of war with my emotions anymore. I needed to move on and never look back, no matter how much it pains me to do so.
With renewed determination, I walked towards the clearing. I wasn’t sure if he was following me or not. It was hard to because my ears were ringing from our encounter and it didn’t help that I was more than tipsy.
I halted when I heard him.
Halfway through, he yelled on top of his lungs, “I love you.” His voice was choked up, abundant with tortured pain.
Frozen, I let his words sink in.
The words I have waited to hear from his lips were now my reality. I fought the emotions that roared through me, igniting my whole body, burning me with a crackling fire and purpose.
In quick haste, I turned around and ran towards him. “Don’t you fucking dare use love in this, Carter! We both know you don’t do ‘love’. You don’t get to use that as a fucking weapon.” I spat at his face, even more furious that he was riling me up. He has the audacity to use that damn four letter word. The gall!
My determined stance and face spoke volumes. He wasn’t getting through to me. He knew I meant what I just spat at him. Carter would not weaken my resolve. I’ve been there done that.
Carter stared at me for a second, his face contorted with misery. He looked simply wounded and in utter disbelief that I threw his declaration of love back in his face.
His breathing was ragged and his pained gaze simply eviscerated me. His Adam’s apple bobbed before he rasped out. ”Emma, please…”
My eyes searched his and in that very instant I knew he meant every word. Defeated, he sunk to his knees with whooshing air. With his head down, he inhaled air into his lungs—deeply—like he needed to get as much to enable him to breathe properly. Startled, I stared at the broken man kneeling before me with panic.
What the hell do I do? Biting my lip, I freaked out some more.
&n
bsp; My thoughts left my brain when Carter looked up to me. “I love you, Emma. I’ve loved you after the first night you spent in my arms. I’ve been in love with you all this time, but I never had the courage or strength to tell you how I felt because I’m a coward. But being a coward made me lose you and now I’m trying to brave it out for you—face my demons because of my love for you and you alone.” His voice wobbled, “I feel like half a person without you, Em. I can’t function. I need you back. I want you back because I honestly love you.”
God! He did mean it.
Shit.
Fuck.
Shit.
There went my damn perseverance.
Carter…
“My father used to be so in love with my mom, to the point where nothing made sense to him unless my mother was around, close to him. My mom was his obsession, his drug. But even with his obsessive adoration, my mom cheated on him. One night she came home and told my father that she was pregnant and the father was her personal trainer. My mother decided to leave us that night. She was moving in with the man that got her pregnant…but my dad…he was distraught…but even then, he begged my mom not to leave him. He even went on and promised to love the child she was carrying as his own because he loved everything about her and if the baby was part of that bargain, he’d take it in a heartbeat. Lindsey was too young to understand what was going on. But I did, I saw what love could do to a man. It weakens you and it makes a fool out of you.
That same night of her revelation, my mom left us. My father, fool that he was, followed her out in a separate car. My mom ended up crashing her car against a broken truck on the side of the road. I guess dad was following closely behind her because his followed suit. I’m not sure it happened because he didn’t have much time to maneuver or if he did it on purpose so that he could follow mom.
You see, Emma. Love doesn’t come easy for me. It was one thing I promised myself not to do–I didn’t want to follow in my father’s footsteps. I wanted to hide it from you…for as long as I could but you leave me no choice. When I tell you I love you…it’s because I do, it’s the truth.”
Oh, my God…Carter does love me.
“Get up, please…” I begged. I couldn’t stand the sight of him hurting and in evident pain as he knelt before me.
Carter shook his head, clearly adamant. “No—not until you take me back.” His contorted face gave away as to how serious he was about not getting up until I really took him back.
I’m torn. What do I do? Do I wait for a sign until I take him back or do I just grab this opportunity to be with the man I had fallen for? Maybe this time, we could make it work as a couple who are in love and not just in lust for one another?
Bass…
What about Bass? Bass and I have known each other for such a short amount of time. With Bass, yes, I lusted after him. Who wouldn’t? But it was Carter who I loved, right? This was my chance to have my heart’s desire.
Then…what am I waiting for?
“Fine, I’m taking you back…as long as you promise that you will try very hard to make this work. I’m giving you this one chance, Carter, don’t fuck it up.”
“What did you say, Em?” he asked, a smile forming on his handsome face.
He obviously heard me, but wanted me to say it again.
“Uh, now you’re just driving me nuts!” I complained as I held out my hand for him to grab onto, so I could lift him up. But to my surprise, he pulled me down with him. I let out a loud squeal as he tickled me to death.
With my back on the ground and Carter on top of me, I felt deliriously happy. Our faces were inches apart and he spoke. “I love you, Emma and I promise to be loyal to you and you alone. I will give you my all to make you happy, I promise you that.”
God, let’s hope so because I’m dropping Bass Cole for you. You better make it worth it.
I linked my arms around his neck and looked at man I had fallen for, for the first time after he said those words, seeing Carter in a new light, I whispered, “I love you, Carter Mason.”
“Thank the fucking gods! ‘Cause if you didn’t, I wasn’t going to let you leave the cabin until you tell me that you do.” I laughed at his statement as he kissed me passionately.
I moaned as his mouth ambushed my senses. His hand possessively captured the side of my cheek as he voraciously fed his appetite with hot lingering kisses. With his hard body on top of mine, his hand reached inside of my sweater, pushing my bra aside he caressed my breast and pinched my nipple.
I groaned as he whispered my name. “Emma…I love how you come apart in my arms.”
Carter didn’t give me much time to think as he took my leggings off. The chilly night didn’t hinder our urgent need to be together, the need to feel each other…the need to become one. My thong was flung in the air next as I looked at the man who consumed me. I watched as he took his shorts off with no shyness or inhibition. His gorgeous muscled body basked in the moonlight as his gaze burned with fire and full of ardent passion, heady lust, and savage desire.
His dark eyes obliterated me and he was all I could see, feel and need. Without another word, he annihilated my lips as he parted my legs and harshly plunged inside me with one hard thrust. I gasped as his huge cock filled me, hot and demanding. My body craved and savored every heated, hard thrust he gave. He was rough, savage, and hungry. He hungered for my body and my heart and with each trust he owned me.
“Give me more, Carter. Give it to me hard.”
With haste, his left hand cupped my ass cheek, lifting and pressing it against him, making it easier for him to go deeper–stretching and filling me to capacity as I reached for his ass to shove it deeper inside me. We panted and mated like we were dying and couldn’t live without each other. He held my hips with his strong arms, his manhood still jammed inside me as he shifted us to a sitting position with me on top. With my feet planted on the lush cool ground on the sides of his hips, I linked my arms on his neck, kissing him as I rode him hard with urgency and greed.
“Take everything that you want from me baby. Ride me harder—give me your all. Give me that nice juicy pussy again and again. I want your pussy to eat my cock whole. Ride me harder, baby.” Carter groaned as I clutched his shoulders harder and took him as he commanded me to.
“Carter!” I choked out as spasms hit me in waves.
His lips sought my neck and bit into it as my orgasm shattered me into pieces. I moaned as he took charge of my hips and lifted me up and down, sliding in and out of me as he prepared for his own release.
“FUCK, BABY! You’re the best fuck!” he grunted out as he came inside me.
Limp and distractedly happy, I laughed as he tried to kiss me. “This is crazy. I can’t believe we did this out here in the lush clearing.”
“Sorry—I couldn’t control myself. I was dying and needed to have you as soon as possible. There’s no one else but you, Emma.” He looked soulful as he stroked my flushed cheek. “Thank you for giving me this chance again, Em. I will make you very happy.”
I smiled as I kissed him.
I hoped he meant his promise because I don’t know how I could stand it if Carter hurt me again.
But that’s what love is right? We have to take a risk or we’ll never know what love truly means.
“You’re still on the pill right?”
I raised my brow in question, “Yeah, why?”
Carter smiled and gave my lips a searing kiss. “Tonight’s going to be a long night. I’m going to make love to you over and over again until the sun comes up.”
“A stud’s promise?” I cheekily asked as he gave me a wink and gathered me up.
“It’s only the beginning, you shall see,” He said as we got dressed then strolled back to the cabin to join the crowd.
“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.”
― Kahlil Gibran
22
“There you guys are!” Amanda announced in front of e
veryone. “Where have you been Carter? I’ve been looking all over for you.” She pouted as she traced the outline of Carter’s neckline.
“Are you blind, Amanda?” I asked the blatant flirt after I smacked her hand away from touching Carter.
“Hello? Of course not, I can’t be this hot and be blind, duh? Why do you like this boring so-so plain woman, Carter? She’s just plain, like vanilla. Uh, who likes vanilla, anyway? No one!” The bitch smirked at me.
I wanted to swipe that off her smug face.
“Yeah, I am boring compared to you, so what? Carter wants the vanilla me and not your flavorful swirls. Get over it.”
Something flashed in Amanda’s eyes. She was in full catty mode. “He likes my swirls. Trust me–Carter Mason loves swirls.” Amanda looked at Carter through her lashes as she stuck her tongue out and traced her lips.
“That’s enough from you, Amanda. Emma and I are back together now. I’m not interested, so stop following me around. Go look for another guy to sink your claws into.”
Amanda then huffed but spoke out before she trotted along. “You’re going to miss me, Carter. I can’t wait ‘til you come knocking on my door.”
I tensed. Reality check, here it is.
“Let’s get back to our room.” Carter suggested and I didn’t even nod or respond to that.
Because my mind was still rooted to what Amanda just spewed… twirls…blowjobs. That meant she sucked him off in all his glory. I know I shouldn’t be really mad here since (hoped) that we were broken up when the incident happened with Amanda, but still…I have to see her around.
A lot.
Once inside the confines of our bedroom, Carter strolled towards the bay windows and looked out at the glittery lake.
“She gave me head, once. Well, I guess, half a head since I didn’t let her finish. It was that same night you went off on a date with Bass Cole when I caught you guys at the apartment.”
Shit cakes. Yeah, same night I begged for Bass to kiss me…the same night that I wanted Bass to touch me…