by T. Smollett
CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR
HIS ECLIPSE, AND GRADUAL DECLINATION.
Misfortunes seldom come single; upon the back of this hue and cry heunluckily prescribed phlebotomy to a gentleman of some rank, who chancedto expire during the operation, and quarrelled with his landlord theapothecary, who charged him with having forgot the good offices he haddone him in the beginning of his career, and desired he would providehimself with another lodging.
All these mishaps, treading upon the heels of one another, had a verymortifying effect upon his practice. At every tea-table his name wasoccasionally put to the torture, with that of the vile creature whom hehad seduced, though it was generally taken for granted by all thosefemale casuists, that she must have made the first advances, for it couldnot be supposed that any man would take much trouble in laying schemesfor the ruin of a person whose attractions were so slender, especiallyconsidering the ill state of her health, a circumstance that seldom addsto a woman's beauty or good-humour; besides, she was always a pert minx,that affected singularity, and a masculine manner of speaking, and manyof them had foreseen that she would, some time or other, bring herselfinto such a premunire. At all gossipings, where the apothecary or hiswife assisted, Fathom's pride, ingratitude, and malpractice werecanvassed; in all clubs of married men he was mentioned with marks ofabhorrence and detestation, and every medical coffee-house rung with hisreproach. Instances of his ignorance and presumption were quoted, andmany particulars feigned for the purpose of defamation, so that our herowas exactly in the situation of a horseman, who, in riding at full speedfor the plate, is thrown from the saddle in the middle of the race, andleft without sense or motion upon the plain.
His progress, though rapid, had been so short, that he could not besupposed to have laid up store against such a day of trouble, and as hestill cherished hopes of surmounting those obstacles which had sosuddenly started up in his way, he would not resign his equipage norretrench his expenses, but appeared as usual in all public places withthat serenity and confidence of feature which he had never deposited, andmaintained his external pomp upon the little he had reserved in the daysof his prosperity, and the credit he had acquired by the punctuality ofhis former payments. Both these funds, however, failed in a very littletime, his lawsuit was a gulf that swallowed up all his ready money, andthe gleanings of his practice were scarce sufficient to answer his pocketexpenses, which now increased in proportion to the decrease of business,for, as he had more idle time, and was less admitted into privatefamilies, so he thought he had more occasion to enlarge his acquaintanceamong his own sex, who alone were able to support him in his disgracewith the other. He accordingly listed himself in several clubs, andendeavoured to monopolise the venereal branch of trade, though this wasbut an indifferent resource, for almost all his patients of this classwere such as either could not, or would not, properly recompense thephysician.
For some time he lingered in this situation, without going upwards ordownwards, floating like a wisp of straw at the turning of the tide,until he could no longer amuse the person of whom he had hired hiscoach-horses, or postpone the other demands, which multiplied upon himevery day. Then was his chariot overturned with a hideous crash, and hisface so much wounded with the shivers of the glass, which went to piecesin the fall, that he appeared in the coffee-house with half a dozen blackpatches upon his countenance, gave a most circumstantial detail of therisk he had run, and declared, that he did not believe he should everhazard himself again in any sort of wheel carriage.
Soon after this accident, he took an opportunity of telling his friends,in the same public place, that he had turned away his footman on accountof his drunkenness, and was resolved, for the future, to keep none butmaids in his service, because the menservants are generally impudent,lazy, debauched, or dishonest; and after all, neither so neat, handy, oragreeable as the other sex. In the rear of this resolution, he shiftedhis lodgings into a private court, being distracted with the din ofcarriages, that disturb the inhabitants who live towards the open street;and gave his acquaintance to understand, that he had a medical work uponthe anvil, which he could not finish without being indulged in silenceand tranquillity. In effect, he gradually put on the exteriors of anauthor. His watch, with an horizontal movement by Graham, which he hadoften mentioned, and shown as a very curious piece of workmanship, began,about this time, to be very much out of order, and was committed to thecare of a mender, who was in no hurry to restore it. His tie-wigdegenerated into a major; he sometimes appeared without a sword, and waseven observed in public with a second day's shirt. At last, his clothesbecame rusty; and when he walked about the streets, his head turned roundin a surprising manner, by an involuntary motion in his neck, which hehad contracted by a habit of reconnoitring the ground, that he mightavoid all dangerous or disagreeable encounters.
Fathom, finding himself descending the hill of fortune with an acquiredgravitation, strove to catch at every twig, in order to stop or retardhis descent. He now regretted the opportunities he had neglected, ofmarrying one of several women of moderate fortune, who had made advancesto him in the zenith of his reputation; and endeavoured, by forcinghimself into a lower path of life than any he had hitherto trod, to keephimself afloat, with the portion of some tradesman's daughter, whom hemeant to espouse. While he exerted himself in this pursuit, he happened,in returning from a place about thirty miles from London, to becomeacquainted, in the stage-coach, with a young woman of a very homelyappearance, whom, from the driver's information, he understood to be theniece of a country justice, and daughter of a soap-boiler, who had livedand died in London, and left her, in her infancy, sole heiress of hiseffects, which amounted to four thousand pounds. The uncle, who was herguardian, had kept her sacred from the knowledge of the world, resolvingto effect a match betwixt her and his own son; and it was with muchdifficulty he had consented to this journey, which she had undertaken asa visit to her own mother, who had married a second husband in town.
Fraught with these anecdotes, Fathom began to put forth his gallantry andgood-humour, and, in a word, was admitted by the lady to the privilege ofan acquaintance, in which capacity he visited her during the term of herresidence in London; and, as there was no time to be lost, declared hishonourable intentions. He had such a manifest advantage, in point ofpersonal accomplishments, over the young gentleman who was destined forher husband, that she did not disdain his proposals; and, before she setout for the country, he had made such progress in her heart, that the daywas actually fixed for their nuptials, on which he faithfully promised tocarry her off in a coach and six. How to raise money for this expeditionwas all the difficulty that remained; for, by this time, his financeswere utterly dried up, and his credit altogether exhausted. Upon a verypressing occasion, he had formerly applied himself to a certain wealthyquack, who had relieved his necessities by lending him a small sum ofmoney, in return for having communicated to him a secret medicine, whichhe affirmed to be the most admirable specific that ever was invented.The nostrum had been used, and, luckily for him, succeeded in the trial;so that the empiric, in the midst of his satisfaction, began to reflect,that this same Fathom, who pretended to be in possession of a great manyremedies, equally efficacious, would certainly become a formidable rivalto him in his business, should he ever be able to extricate himself fromhis present difficulties.
In consequence of these suggestions, he resolved to keep our adventurer'shead under water, by maintaining him in the most abject dependence.Accordingly he had, from time to time, accommodated him with smalltrifles, which barely served to support his existence, and even for thesehad taken notes of hand, that he might have a scourge over his head, incase he should prove insolent or refractory. To this benefactor Fathomapplied for a reinforcement of twenty guineas, which he solicited withthe more confidence, as that sum would certainly enable him to repay allother obligations. The quack would advance the money upon no othercondition, than that of knowing the scheme, which being explained, hecomplied with Ferdinand's
request; but, at the same time, privatelydespatched an express to the young lady's uncle, with a full account ofthe whole conspiracy; so that, when the doctor arrived at the inn,according to appointment, he was received by his worship in person, whogave him to understand, that his niece had changed her mind, and gonefifty miles farther into the country to visit a relation. This was agrievous disappointment to Fathom, who really believed his mistress hadforsaken him through mere levity and caprice, and was not undeceived tillseveral months after her marriage with her cousin, when, at an accidentalmeeting in London, she explained the story of the secret intelligence,and excused her marriage, as the effect of rigorous usage and compulsion.
Had our hero been really enamoured of her person, he might have probablyaccomplished his wishes, notwithstanding the steps she had taken. Butthis was not the case. His passion was of a different nature, and theobject of it effectually without his reach. With regard to his appetitefor women, as it was an infirmity of his constitution, which he could notovercome, and as he was in no condition to gratify it at a great expense,he had of late chosen a housekeeper from the hundreds of Drury, and, toavoid scandal, allowed her to assume his name. As to the intimationwhich had been sent to the country justice, he immediately imputed it tothe true author, whom he marked for his vengeance accordingly; but, inthe meantime, suppressed his resentment, because he in some measuredepended upon him for subsistence. On the other hand, the quack,dreading the forwardness and plausibility of our hero, which might, onetime or other, render him independent, put a stop to those supplies, onpretence of finding them inconvenient; but, out of his friendship andgoodwill to Fathom, undertook to procure for him such letters ofrecommendation as would infallibly make his fortune in the West Indies,and even to set him out in a genteel manner for the voyage. Ferdinandperceived his drift, and thanked him for his generous offer, which hewould not fail to consider with all due deliberation; though he wasdetermined against the proposal, but obliged to temporise, that he mightnot incur the displeasure of this man, at whose mercy he lay. Meanwhilethe prosecution against him in Doctors' Commons drew near a period, andthe lawyers were clamorous for money, without which, he foresaw he shouldlose the advantage which his cause had lately acquired by the death ofhis antagonist's chief evidence; he therefore, seeing every other channelshut up, began to doubt, whether the risk of being apprehended or slainin the character of a highwayman, was not overbalanced by the prospect ofbeing acquitted of a charge which had ruined his reputation and fortune,and actually entertained thoughts of taking the air on Hounslow Heath,when he was diverted from this expedient by a very singular adventure.