by T. J. Kline
“You know,” Julia said, “he’s getting a place in San Francisco for a week or so to tie up some loose ends, and then he’s going to move in with us until he can find his own place in town.”
“Oh,” Leah said, flushing. “I don’t really . . . ”
Who was she trying to fool? She was sure everything was written all over her face. “He’s still planning on staying here in town?”
Julia nodded. “He’s pretty adamant that’s what he wants.”
If Gage stayed, she was bound to run into him from time to time, either in town or at Julia’s place. She couldn’t avoid him, even here on Jessie’s ranch. As much as it was going to pain her to see him, knowing that she had to remain distant, she had to put these feelings aside if she was going to do her job. The only other alternative was to leave Heart Fire and this place where she’d finally felt like she belonged, where she had a purpose.
“You should talk to him.”
“There’s nothing left for us to say.”
The words sounded hollow. Leah knew there wasn’t one ounce of truth in them, and for someone who’d demanded the truth from Gage, she wasn’t sure why she couldn’t face it coming from her own heart.
GAGE STARED AT the San Francisco skyline as the sunlight reflected off the glass of the nearby buildings, nearly blinding him. He should be looking over the locations his real estate agent had marked as possible building sites for Apotheo. But, as much as he wanted to make it a reality, San Francisco held no appeal. It seemed ridiculous now, but he’d hoped Leah would want to do it with him, had visualized them building it into something special together. Without her, his life seemed like a vacuum, sucking the energy out of him.
He’d left the ranch four days ago and had filled every waking moment with meetings, agendas, and proposals. Anything that might distract him from thoughts of the woman he wanted to be holding. He couldn’t even crawl into the hotel bed without remembering the way she’d curled into him, as if he was her shelter in the storm of life. She’d clung to him like a lifeline and he’d loved it. Loved feeling like he was the only man who could reach her, the only person she let close.
A savior.
Maybe Leah had been right. Maybe he did want her to see him as a hero. But if that was all he’d wanted, he’d have been able to walk away without feeling like his heart had been crushed. There was nothing keeping him going right now other than the hope that with some time and space, she’d realize what they’d had was special.
It wasn’t about changing or their pasts or mistakes. It was about becoming the best they could be, and he didn’t think either of them could do that without the other. He just wasn’t sure how to convince her that he was trying to make himself better, for her. He did want her to see him as a hero, but not by changing her—by changing himself.
“Mr. Granger, it’s six o’clock and, if it’s all right with you, I’d like to head home.”
He waved off his assistant, a young man who had attended UCSF, majoring in business leadership. He’d shown promise, and George had mentioned that they should consider him for a position better suited to his skills.
“Jeremy?” Gage turned away from the window and faced the young man.
“Yes, sir?”
“Are you happy working here?” A look of confusion swept over him and Gage didn’t miss the hesitation in his answer. “I’d like the truth.”
“To be honest, sir, I have been happy here, at times, and I think with you back in charge again, it will be better.”
It wasn’t the answer Gage expected. He folded his hands together and pressed them against his lips, thoughtfully. “What did you want to do when you were young?”
The question seemed to throw Jeremy off guard, but he recovered quickly with a half-smile. “Besides a professional football player or a superhero?”
Gage returned his smile. Such was the dream of all boys, he supposed.
“I wanted to be a teacher.”
“Really?”
Jeremy nodded. “I even spent my summers tutoring.” He shrugged. “And then I realized that I’d never make a good living at it. So, I focused on business instead.”
“Do you regret it? Not teaching, I mean.”
“Sometimes,” he admitted. “But I had to make a choice and used the information I had at the time. Who knows how things might have turned out? I can tell you that I’ve been able to help my parents put my little sister through college thanks to this job. I couldn’t have done that as a teacher.”
“If you could teach and keep your current salary, would you do it?”
Jeremy paused, thoughtfully. “Honestly, I don’t think it helps anyone to play a ‘what if’ game, sir. My dad always said life was like his job driving a bus. If you look back too long, you’re going to wreck, and a whole lot of people are going to be hurt.”
Gage thought about what Jeremy was saying. Maybe that had been a big part of the problem with him and Leah. They were both so focused on their pasts that they weren’t able to see the future ahead that was calling, ready for them to let go and stop looking back. They’d wrecked.
Jeremy smiled slyly. “Now, if you’re offering me a position with Apotheo, that’s a different story.”
“You’d want to be involved?”
“Mr. Granger, I’d be honored.” He turned to leave and paused in the doorway. “Sir, I’m not sure what has you questioning yourself, but I will tell you that your employees trust you. We all respect the way you stepped up after the last . . . well, you know. You may have made a mistake but you owned up to it. There are a lot of tech companies in the Bay Area we could have worked for. You’ve reminded a lot of us why we chose to work for you. You’re a man of your word, sir, and there aren’t many men like you around anymore.”
Gage stared after his assistant and thought about his parting words. Jeremy might be quiet, but he was wise beyond his years. He’d make a fantastic teacher at Apotheo, but Gage owed the man far more than simply a job and would find a way to thank him. He’d helped Gage realize exactly what he needed to do to show Leah how he felt about her.
KAITLYN SHOT LEAH a “hell no” look that made it clear she wasn’t climbing on any horse they put in front of her, regardless of how many people told her it was safe. At seventeen, the girl might be the oldest of the group, but that was also part of Leah’s problem. Kaitlyn held a lot of sway with the other girls, and several tended to follow her lead. If she refused to ride, calling it a stupid waste of time, the others might do the same, and the entire week would be shot.
“Jessie, why don’t we break up in three groups today with the dogs,” Leah suggested.
It had been something they’d planned to do tomorrow, but it was better to change their plans than let Kaitlyn think she could derail them altogether. Jessie didn’t look happy about the idea, but she trusted Leah’s opinions. And it was working. In the last three days, they’d been able to get four of the girls to open up about their lives, including the abuse they’d suffered. One of them had never told anyone, and they had already alerted her social worker.
“I’ll go call Julia and see if she can come help.”
“Dogs?” Kaitlyn rolled her eyes. “You mean those flea-bitten mutts in your house?”
Leah laughed quietly. “What? You’re not a dog person either?”
The girl glared at her, but Leah didn’t miss the unease in her ice blue eyes.
“I’m not an anything person.” She sighed heavily and leaned against the hitching post. “Why can’t we just go back to the cabin and sleep? Or go swimming in the pool?” She complained, looking toward the other girls, trying to encourage a few to stand behind her minor rebellion. “I thought this place was supposed to be fun.”
“And what would you consider fun?” Leah looked around the group. Several of the girls looked nervous. Her gaze flicked to Jessie, walking out of the main house on the cell phone.
“Anything other than being here, out in the middle of nowhere,” Melanie, Kaitlyn’s side
kick, replied quickly, looking to Kaitlyn for approval.
“Anything?” Leah eyed several of the older girls in turn, giving Kaitlyn a pointed look. “Because I doubt you’d like to consider the options. If I’m not mistaken, the next step for several of you is juvie. Or into yet another home?”
“What do you know?” Kaitlyn pushed herself to standing and leaned toward Leah. It wasn’t threatening, but it definitely wasn’t friendly. She was posturing, taking a defiant stance, and wanting to remind the others who they could count on to stand up for them. Leah had to use this opportunity to give them something to believe in, someone they could trust. Someone Kaitlyn could lean on without losing face.
“I grew up in the system. By the time I was eighteen, I’d been in seventeen foster homes. Until my last one, I never stayed in any of them longer than two months.” Leah saw shock register in the faces of several of the younger girls, but she focused on Kaitlyn.
“So? You think that makes you like us?” Leah noticed that while her stance didn’t waver, Kaitlyn’s voice had lost some of its defiance.
“My first memory is being verbally abused by my mother. I was only about two and a half. It didn’t stop until I moved into my last foster home when I was about your age. You name it, it’s probably happened to me.”
Leah’s voice and her gaze were steady. Several of the girls turned away, tears filling their eyes. The reality of Leah’s childhood didn’t need to be spelled out. These girls could imagine without any details. Even Kaitlyn had taken a step backward. Leah could see the truth had forced them to view her in a different light. She was no longer an outsider telling them what to do without any real knowledge. She was one of them, a survivor in a common war.
“Why don’t we head into my house? It’s not exactly what Jessie and I had planned, but let’s have a carpet picnic.” She looked around at the girls, who now looked at her with vulnerable eyes. “Come on.” Leah pulled out her phone and texted Jessie, since she was still on the phone, letting her know about the change in plans.
This was the kind of flexibility she’d have never had at the old clinic. She opened the front door and was greeted by Bingo spinning in circles excitedly, yipping happily at the guests. Razor sat at the edge of the carpet, supervising the group entering, and Chaz barely lifted his head from his place on the couch where Puma and Lynx were curled between his front paws.
“Oh!” Destiny, the youngest of the group, squealed and hurried for the couch, scooping up Lynx and rubbing her face against her downy fur. “You have kittens?”
“Kaitlyn, why don’t you push the coffee table against that wall, and I’ll get some snacks. Anyone want to help?”
“Me!”
“I will.”
Girls who hadn’t volunteered for anything in the last five days hurried to follow her, while the others began to shift furniture in the living room while the dogs romped around them. Leah glanced at Kaitlyn who, for the first time since her arrival, was smiling. It was just a ghost of a smile, but it was there as she bent down and rubbed her hands behind Bingo’s ears.
A warm sense of purpose filled Leah. This was why she had come, what she had hoped to accomplish. She looked out the window to see Jessie coming to join them, and her gaze fell on Gage’s cabin, dark and abandoned.
She felt her heart break a little more. Damn it. Thinking about him sucked every bit of joy she felt at finally reaching the girls out of the moment because he wasn’t there to celebrate the success with her.
Chapter Twenty-Five
“WANT TO GO for a ride once the girls head out today?” Bailey asked, leaning against the side of the barn where Leah was supervising the girls and counselors as they said good-bye to the animals. Most of them were trying to hold back tears, and Leah could already feel herself choking up. Bailey leaned closer, lowering her voice. “You and Jess are both going to need to decompress.”
“I don’t know, Bailey. I need to get some notes jotted into the girls’ files.”
Bailey nodded empathetically, but Leah could see that she knew it was an excuse. Bailey took a long drink from her coffee mug, eyeing Leah over the rim. “You don’t really think I’m buying any of this, do you?”
“Bailey, leave her alone.” Jessie made her way into the aisle of the barn with Moose, her German shepherd following at her heels, pausing to lick the hand of one of the girls as he moved past. Jessie leaned close. “For the record, I think a ride is exactly what we need, though.”
Leah sighed, trying to think of one good reason not to go. She hadn’t had a chance to take a ride that wasn’t with the kids since she’d arrived a few weeks ago. While she was still a beginner rider, she loved the feeling of freedom of letting the horses go where they wanted and just wander for a little while without feeling like every aspect of life needed to be controlled.
“See, your boss agrees with me,” Bailey said. “How about a trail ride down to the river, just to hang out?”
“Okay, okay.” Leah held her hands up in submission, and Bailey smiled at her victory.
“I’m going to head over to the clinic and help Justin for a few hours, and then I’ll be back.”
“We’ll be waiting, Bailey,” Jessie teased. “But you’re saddling your own horse.”
“Good, then I don’t have to use that crappy barrel saddle you always stick me with.” She winked and headed back to the motorcycle in the driveway, tossing the cold coffee into the shrubs.
“You know, you can tell her no if you want to,” Jessie said.
Leah smiled. “Bailey is easy to tell no. It’s you who doesn’t take no for an answer.”
Jessie returned the grin with her own. “You know, I’ve been told that a time or two.”
For the first time since her arrival, Jessie felt more like a friend than an employer, and Leah realized that it wasn’t because anything at Heart Fire had changed. She had. She’d realized her worth here and that she offered something special, that she was special.
“WHAT ARE YOU doing here?” Bailey arched a brow at Gage as he walked through the front door of the clinic.
“I told you I was coming back.” Gage moved in to give his friend a hug, but she took a step away from him.
“Why?”
“What do you mean, ‘why?’ I told you I was moving back here.”
“Oh.” She tried to hide her surprise, stuffing several papers into a file and rising to put it into its place on the wall.
“What’s going on, Bailey?”
“Nothing.” She answered far too quickly for him to believe her. “Julia just said you were moving out of the cabin and back to her place, but I didn’t expect it to be this soon.”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re full of crap and we both know it. Spill it. What’s going on?”
She bit her lower lip and glanced toward Justin’s office, making sure the door was closed, before leaning forward. “Fine, but you didn’t hear anything from me.”
Gage nodded his agreement.
“Are you heading back to Jessie’s anytime soon? Because I’m not sure how welcome you’ll be. Jessie’s pretty pissed about you bailing on Leah.”
He clenched his jaw. None of his relationship with Leah was any of Jessie’s business. A fact she seemed to forget, regardless of how many times he’d tried to make it clear to her. Gage crossed his arms over his chest.
Bailey laughed out loud. “Whoa, easy there, tiger. Getting kinda worked up for a fling, aren’t you?”
Gage glared at her. “It wasn’t a fling.”
She looked triumphant, and he realized he’d just played into her hands. “So, there was more to this than just Jessie’s suspicions?”
“Bailey,” Gage warned. “I’ll tell you what I told Jessie, don’t get involved.”
“Too late.” She gave him an overconfident grin. “I like Leah. Not sure she’s the woman I would have guessed that you’d fall for but—”
“Who said anything about—”
She rolled her eyes. “
Please, Gage. Are you really going to try to convince me? The queen of denial?” She shrugged. “Besides, I know you better than that. I’ve seen you date plenty of women, and I’ve never seen you have that look on your face,” she said, circling a finger toward his face. “That is the look of a man in love.”
“Bailey.” He ran a hand over his head, letting it fall over his face in frustration. He was tired of denying his feelings for Leah. “Yeah, okay. Just . . . yeah.”
“Then you need to listen to me, lover boy. You need to do something big, something to impress them both.”
“Leah doesn’t want me to impress her, trust me. We’ve been down that road, and it didn’t end well.”
A drawer slammed in Justin’s office, and Bailey leaned over the counter to see if he was coming out. “Just trust me,” she whispered. “Go back to Julia’s and I’ll call you when I get finished at Jessie’s. Then we can hit The Feed Lot for a drink. I’ll even buy dinner, okay?” She glanced at the door again and shoved a hand against his bicep. “Now, go.”
“Hey, Bailey, has Mr. Booth called about that damn pig? I hate that thing,” Justin called from behind the door.
“No, but I can get him on the phone for you.” She glared at Gage again as she came around the counter and pushed him toward the door. “I will get this set up for you and give you a call. You just show up when and where I tell you to. Trust me.”
He paused with his hand on the door. “Bailey, I hate to say it, but I don’t trust you.”
She winked and shoved him out the door. “That’s because you’re a smart man.”
LEAH LOOKED OVER her shoulder, making sure that no one saw what she was about to do, and then pushed open the door of the cabin. It was chilly, especially for June, but she knew it wasn’t the weather. It was the lack of vibrant presence from one man. Taking a deep breath, she stepped over the threshold and closed the door behind her. She should be changing her clothes, getting ready for her ride with Bailey and Jessie, but as she’d walked back to her house after the girls left, she couldn’t help herself from coming inside.