by Inia Jardine
The email reads:
Dear Jonah Edward Hibbert
I have spent the past year searching for you, and with your recent appearance in the press managed to actually find you and your contact details. You do not know me but you knew my mom, Julia, a French girl who vacationed in Jamaica. She was your girlfriend for a while when you were a young man of eighteen.
You might not even remember her, but she died of cancer a year ago. You got her pregnant and her family sent her to stay with relatives in rural France. I was born and raised there. She never wanted you to know about me. I am going to be a mother myself and I want you to know that you have a daughter and you are soon going to have a granddaughter.
You can reach us at this email address if you are interested in meeting us.
Your daughter
Solange
There is a deathly silence in the house. Neither of us know what to say.
‘It must have been her that phoned after you didn’t reply to the first email. I have worked it out, she must be in her early thirties. Jonah, if it is true, this is somehow wonderful, isn’t it?’
He is stunned, speechless and quite emotional. 'Lilia, how do you go from zero to dad and grandpa in seconds? I cannot comprehend this. It must be a mistake.’
‘Jonah, look at her eyes.’
He stares in silence and lowers his head. ‘My goodness, it is true.’
I sink down and kneel beside his chair. I put my arms around him and we cry together softly.
Talk about rocking someone’s world.
17
We are at Arumvale airfield, departing for France again, it feels like a lifetime ago when we supposedly left for a holiday and then came back home to terror a few days later. We have made contact with Solange and we are going to meet her and her little new-born baby girl.
Jonah’s new family.
Bella and Howie have yet again taken over back home as baby sitters for the cats and Kiki. Bella however insisted that she will never stay there alone again, even though the perpetrators have all been locked up.
I am quite eager to meet Solange but I fear Jonah is less keen. He has been shocked into bad mood swings by the unforeseen news and I swear he has gotten a few additional grey hairs during the past two weeks. The trauma of his abduction and torture, losing some of the functionality of his leg and this revelation had just happened too close together. He was not given a chance to recover from one set of unexpected events before the next one hit.
I guess if I were to discover that I had a kid and grandchild I would also lose my cool.
‘Jonah, it will be fine, you will see. Blood is supposed to be thicker than water.’
‘What if the she hates me on sight? I abandoned her and her mom, I am scum.’
‘You never abandoned anyone Jonah, you never knew she existed.’
‘Still, I sowed my wild oats without thought. I should have had that vasectomy at sixteen and not twenty-one.’
‘Are you telling me that there may be more little Jonahs running about in our world? God forbid.’
I poke him on the arm. ‘That would not be all that bad now would it? As long as they don't all come and live with us. I will die from the shock.’
‘Lilia stop it. I told you why I had myself fixed. Nothing has changed. Lucky that it is a little girl but nothing stops Solange from having a boy.’
‘They are called Belmore after their father and that is the family line they will follow Jonah; they are French not purely Jamaican. They are not Hibberts.’
‘Still.’
‘Still what? Stop it now, they are lovely people and you are going to love being a dad and grandpa. I just know. You know what that makes me hey, a grandma! By proxy.’
‘I have never thought of it that way Lilia, do you like being a grandma at forty-something or other?’
‘It’s great. Never a mom, but an instant grandma. We are lucky Jonah. We have had none of those poopy nappies, tantrums and other childrearing horrors that most parents go through.’
They are standing in the arrivals lounge at Lyon St Exupéry. Solange and the baby with Armand a bit to the side, out of range of possible shrapnel it seems. As we walk up to them I put my arms out to take the baby and Jonah takes Solange in his arm, holding the crutch with the other. I have to look away as the emotion is so overwhelming that I choke up. I smile at the baby and greet the father, Armand. He is looking very official yet apprehensive.
Solange is tall like Jonah and has his dark jewel blue eyes. Her skin is much lighter than his. She is beautiful and reminds me of Bella. Her hair is long, wavy and black. Her mom was French and that diluted the dark colouring in her, but it has come through the generations to her daughter.
The baby is darker skinned and gorgeous, looks just like her mom complete with tons of black hair and the Hibbert eyes. They have found a way through the generations, Jonah does not need any proof of paternity. It must be a very strong gene. 'Meet Desiree, your granddaughter.'
We laugh, hug, cry and talk for what seems like hours. After all the emotional upheaval we moved to the Lyon St Exupéry Airport Restaurant to continue our acquaintance. Jonah need not have worried; we all seem to get along flawlessly. Little Desiree has stolen my heart, as Solange has stolen Jonah’s. I can see.
That makes me a bit uncomfortable and I immediately stop myself. It is pure jealousy; Jonah has always been mine, only mine. But, I do not own his heart, I must learn to share.
Like I told Kiki when she came into our little family, my heart was big enough for all of them.
Jonah’s heart is surely big enough for all the girls, Solange, Desiree and me.
Hopefully not in that order.
Armand, who has been pleasant but formal throughout calls a halt to the reminiscing and takes the sleeping Desiree from me. ‘Could we continue this tomorrow? My daughter needs her beauty sleep.’
‘Of course,’ Jonah gets up. ‘We have a lifetime left to catch up. We are staying at Le Jardin de Beauvoir, high above the city on a hill. Definitely not at the place where they almost threw us out last time due to our unbridled passion!’
Jonah and I laugh but I see Solange and Armand exchange a look of embarrassment.
‘Sorry guys, I always forget the French reserve. I am Jamaican and we are more open with our feelings. Lilia and I are free thinkers, and have just been on honeymoon since we met a few years ago, officially on honeymoon since almost a year ago. I am sure you can do without that information...’ he tapers off as Solange gives him a dagger look.
‘Jonah, I have just started to get used to the idea of you as my dad, I can really do without imagery of your amorous life.’
Duly chastised he nods and with a kiss to both Solange and baby, we wave goodbye to them.
‘That was a bit awkward wasn’t it?’
‘Oh hush Lilia, how would you feel if your parents were like us.’
‘Happy. But yes, a tad embarrassed.’
‘Well, seeing as you are not her biological mother she most probably has a problem with us bonking like bunnies, that is exactly what got her into illegitimate status in the first place.’
‘That’s unfair Jonah. It has nothing to do with me. I have only been nice to her. We were perfectly content being in love publicly and I must now stop because your long lost daughter has a problem with it? Really!’
‘Just for now Lilia, let’s just behave like decent folks until we are back home. Or at least until they get to know us better.’
‘I don’t agree with that sentiment Jonah, what is indecent about being in love? I have always felt that you must be true to yourself with no pretences, and I thought you concurred. If that is the way you feel about me and our love life, that we must keep our affectionate natures hidden, you can visit your daughter by yourself. I’m going home to the animals where I am wanted.'
‘Fine by me if that is what you want.’
'I don't believe it. You choose them over my feelings? Well fuck that and fuck you.' I show h
im the finger. ‘Vive la France.'
For the second time since I have known Jonah, I cut my visit short and return home because of a silly disagreement. I feel so let down as we have just come through such trauma side by side, I saved his life, he declared me his Ohana, and now he chooses a virtual stranger over me. Blood family -but hey, did we not agree that blood is not thicker than water in relationships?
18
Back home I cry on Bella’s shoulder. ‘I was so looking forward to this and now it has all been tainted!’
‘I am sure it’s not that bad Lilia, calm down.’
‘After more than two years together, she has stolen Jonah’s affection from me, why couldn’t she just share him? She has her own husband, even though he is as stiff as a broomstick.’
‘It won’t help being nasty Lilia, just calmly wait for his return.’ Bella is, as usual, the voice of reason.
Over in Lyon, Jonah is not planning on returning any time soon. An unencumbered temporary bachelor on long leave from work, he is free to indulge his daughter and granddaughter, and spoil them rotten. His sudden ascent into fatherhood brought out the staid side of his passionate personality. The thought of his irresponsible act so many years ago with the girl Julia, whom he can barely remember, causes him immense shame. He would do anything to make it up to Solange. If Lilia doesn’t feel the same, well she is welcome to keep the home fires burning.
Over croissants and coffee, Solange recounts the story of her childhood in France to Jonah. ‘Mom was not well off, as her embarrassed family sent her here with just a small amount of money. She had to live with relatives until I was old enough for her to go look for work. We stayed with my grandma’s sister just outside of Tourec and mom worked as a shop assistant. Tantine Rose looked after me during the day and taught me to speak English and told me a bit about Jamaica. Mom only passed through there as a young girl right after school but it is where she became pregnant with me. I have been there only once, very recently, and that is when the picture I emailed to you was taken. I went there mainly to look for you.’
‘Solange, words cannot describe how sorry I am. I have to tell you that for this exact reason - to prevent a child of mine being fatherless - I had a vasectomy at 21, never knowing that I had already fathered a child. I am so sorry, and will spend the rest of my life making it up to you and little Desiree here. You are both very precious to me.’
‘How does your wife feel about us? Why did she go back to your home?’
‘Don’t worry about that Solange, it is a personal matter between Lilia and myself. Let us spend quality time together as a family.’
Later, at dinner with Armand, Jonah presents her with two small boxes from Tiffany’s.
Solange opens it and catches her breath as she reveals two necklaces of sapphire and diamonds, one with a pendant in the shape of an ‘S’, the other tiny one with a ‘D’. Both are inscribed respectively,
With all my love, Dad
With all my love, Granddad Jonah
‘Solange, this is for you and Desiree, to show you that I care about you very deeply. You are my only blood relatives in the world. I have also changed my will today with my attorney in Arumvale via the internet, and I just have to go and sign it when I get home. I have made provision for the both of you should I pass away. This can happen in an instant as you know. Just look at my leg if you doubt it for a second.
Our land Xanadu will be divided between you and Lilia. It is huge, so you guys will be wealthy. If I knew about you before I would never have sold the Jamaican Hibbert Estate - Gorgoleta. It should have gone to you.’
‘Thanks Jonah, Dad, it means a lot. It does not make up for the years I lost without a father, but it does help. The necklaces are lovely too. You must be quite well off on a Professors salary!’
‘It mostly comes from my inheritance Solange, and it is just right that I share it with you.’
19
Arumvale
My feelings are badly hurt, as our first wedding anniversary has just arrived and I am on my own. Jonah is still in Lyon and has obviously forgotten about me. He is so caught up in Solange and Desiree that I am of lesser importance. It is not a good feeling.
The phone rings and I run to pick it up, hoping that it is Jonah. I knew he would remember!
‘Mrs Hibbert, hallo, is Jonah there yet? It is our solicitor Von Diemens.
‘Hi Charles, no, he is still in Lyon.’
‘Just tell him that everything has been changed and I need his signature to finalise it on his return please.’
‘Is it not something I can sign Charles? He is visiting his new daughter and granddaughter and I don’t know when he will be back. He seems to be having a very good time.’
I can hear the change in his tone as he suddenly becomes quite formal. 'Unfortunately not Mrs Hibbert, it is his Personal Will and Testament. He must just pop in to the office on his return. Good day to you!’
I suppose I should have been expecting this but it still comes as a shock. What did Jonah change? It is obviously to do with Solange but where do I stand? Xanadu is in both our names.
I decide to phone Jonah to wish him a happy anniversary and bring Charles into the conversation.
‘Hi Jonah, have you already forgotten about me?’
‘No Lilia, just the sound of your voice makes me wish you were here. How can I forget about you? I miss you.’
‘Oh Jonah, that is exactly what I want to hear. Do you know what you said to me a year ago?’
‘No Lilia, what?’
‘You forgot? You said that I am your family now, and that I was all you needed. Does that ring a bell?’
‘Sorry my darling, I got so caught up with my daughter and grandchild, I am sure you don’t really mind them being my family too? I will be home soon and may bring them with for a visit.’
‘It is our wedding anniversary Jonah! You inconsiderate ogre. Can't you just leave them to their own lives and come home? They have each other but I only have you!’
I slam the phone down and sob my heart out. Luckily I have my animals because I am alone again.
I wake that night to someone stroking my hair. ‘Lilia, I am so sorry. Please forgive me?’ Jonah whispers as he takes off his clothes and gets into bed behind me.
I try to act uninterested as he caresses my body under the covers but he has been away from me for more than three weeks now. My hormones take over and I allow him to open my legs with his knee and he slips into me. It feels so right, he belongs and is part of me. We lie in spoon formation and make slow, slow love. As I feel the stiffness of his injured leg touching mine I bite back all the hurtful, nasty things I want to say and give myself over to the moment. He is still my Jonah, my love. My poor hurt love.
‘Lilia, I missed you.’
‘Hmm.’ I am not going surrender so soon.
‘Look at me. Forgive me please?’
‘Tell me why you changed your will.’
He withdraws from me and turns me around to face him. ‘Is that all you can think about? Money?’
‘Obviously it is all you can think about. Now that she has you, does she get my house too?’
‘That is so uncalled for Lilia, I cannot believe that you are jealous of my child! My daughter!’
‘Don’t I have reason to be? You first kicked me out of your affections, then out of your consciousness, and let her take over. Not share your affections, no, take it over. Like a siege. Then you have the audacity to tell me not to be jealous of her?
Well I am, and I fear, with good reason. I have stood by you through thick and thin, through sickness and health, I loved you with all my heart, soul, body and mind. For fucks sake, I rescued you from evil people and you discard me like an unwanted toy after one day of knowing your daughter? How great is that?
Well, screw you. Take your millions and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine. You can give Solange everything except my cats and my dog. I am leaving you Jonah, enjoy your precious daughter. I hope she keeps yo
u warm at night. By the way, don’t you at least find it strange that she ‘discovered’ you just after it was made public that your land is invaluable?’