“So, come on then. Why don’t you tell us a little about the hubby to be?” Rachel asks and Lyndsey’s whole body changes. Her face beams like he’s the best thing since sliced bread, and I can’t help but feel a little pang of jealousy towards her. I really need to call Matt, but I don’t know what to say to him. Why does life have to be so hard?
“What can I say?” She croons, which makes me feel worse. I don’t need to look at Rachel to know she’s waiting intently to find out more about this beautiful love story. Usually I’d be the same because I’m a sucker for romance; instead right now I feel like the Grinch at Christmas. “He’s amazing, really he is.”
“How long have you been together for?”
“Quite a while, but the ride hasn’t always been so smooth. Boy, we’ve definitely had our fair share of ups and downs, let me tell you.”
“Really? But I’m guessing they’re all like smoothed out now right otherwise you wouldn’t be planning your wedding.” Lyndsey smiles genuinely back at Rachel, but if that was me I’d be telling her to mind her own bloody business. However, I sure as hell hope they’ve evened shit out because I want to get paid for this. The last thing I want is for it all to go tits up. Plus, I’m a kind, caring and compassionate person so obvs I want my client to be as happy as possible.
“It wasn’t so much a problem with us two, it was more my family. But what you can you do?”
“Well you sure as hell can’t choose them, that’s for sure.” I say glumly.
“What about you, Rachel? You’re a pretty girl. I bet you’re all settled, yet I don’t see a ring on your finger.”
“Ha, what this old commitment-phobe?” I laugh at Rachel and she gives me a warning look. Oh, get her trying to act all prim and proper in front of our new guest. “Don’t look at me like that Rachel. Yes, she’s finally settled, or as settled as one can be.”
“I’ll have you know Lyndsey that I’m overjoyed with my Dougy-pants. He makes me so happy and lights up my whole day with his brilliant white smile and caring personality.”
“Fucking hell, has he replaced you too?” I knew she liked him, hell I knew she bloody loved him, but this is some messed up crap. Bloody Dougy-pants? Yeah, it’s sweet but still, Dougy-pants?
“Emily Parker, don’t get all bitchy with me. You’re the one who told me that I needed to let my guard down and let him in.”
“There’s dropping your guard and letting him in, but you’ve basically let him crawl inside you and brainwash your mind. Dear God, I think I preferred it better when you weren’t sure what you wanted.” I laugh jokingly with her. She’s so easy to wind up and I know that I’m goading her because she’s happy and I shouldn’t. It’s not her fault that Matt’s a double-dipping dickhead, is it? No, it’s his and I need to get him out of my head before he ruins my flaming liquid lunch.
“What about you, Emily?”
“What about me?” I sigh heavily and I instantly feel Rachel’s burning eyes piercing into me. Bloody hell now I’ve gone and done it haven’t I?
“What’s happened?” She asks, concern in her voice but her dead set face tells me a different story. It tells me that she knows something has happened and she’s equally pissed off because I haven’t told her about it. “Well?”
“Oh, nothing much. Well, nothing major I don’t think.” I hope it’s nothing major because there’s no way I’m going to let a stupid little argument rip us apart and break us before we’ve really begun.
“Sure? Because it sounds to me that someone has been keeping secrets.
“Oh dear. Secrets are never a good idea. A relationship should be built on trust, because if you don’t have that then you don’t really have anything.” Both mine and Rachel’s eyes instantly fall on Lyndsey and she must tell that we’re not overly impressed from the look on our faces. “That’s just my opinion,” she stumbles, realising that she may have crossed an invisible line. “Ignore me, forget I said anything.”
“We will.” Rachel snaps back and focuses her attention back on me. I know that I’m her main priority and I always will be, but I feel a little bad for Lyndsey. She’s bloody walked into a lion’s den with us two that’s for sure.
“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” I smile back at her, not wanting her to feel uncomfortable. She is my client after all so I need to stay somewhat professional. “I guess it’s just been one of those days, maybe weeks, you know. I’ll be fine, I promise.” I look Rachel straight in the eye as I say this, hoping she’ll translate it to mean, ‘drop it and we’ll talk later’. “Oh, and ignore this one, she’s a little feisty when it comes to protecting my heart.”
“Too bloody right I am. You’re my best friend and that’s how it should be. Anyone messes with you then they mess with me too. They soon regret it when they see my Louboutin collection. Honestly, nothing scares a fully grown male more than being pinned down with one beautiful red heel pressed tightly against his balls, while the other one is so close to his arse, that one sudden movement could cause the violation of a lifetime.”
“And this is why she’s my best friend and I love her dearly.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to come back to mine? You know, just for a little while?” I ask Rachel as we walk through the beautiful streets of London. “It feels like it’s been ages,” I tell her truthfully. I know that she works hard and that she’s got this new wonderful life with Doug, but the selfish part of me misses her like crazy.
“You know I usually would, but I think I need to go for a lie down. Jesus that girl can drink can’t she?” Rachel slurs back at me. God, yes, she’s like a raving lush and puts me to shame. But because of her and my weakness for alcohol I really don’t want to go home alone. If I do and Matt’s not there — which is more than likely the case as he hasn’t tried to contact me at all, and if I’m left to my own devices I’ll end up turning into one of those drunk diallers and I’ll make even more of a show of myself than I already have.
“Okay.” I say completely defeated. I guess it’s time for me to pull up my big girl knickers and act like a responsible adult in this kind of situation.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Her hand cups my shoulder and I feel all the words of my worries rush up my throat, only for Rachel’s phone to ring and stop them from escaping. “Sorry, love, I’ll quickly grab this.” I nod back at her, after all my word vomit isn’t really going anywhere. Instead, I sit here, feeling completely alone and I don’t know what to do about it. Flaming Nora, what the hell has happened to me? The old Emily had balls in this kind of situation. The old Emily would have shrugged this feeling off and pulled up her big girl panties and cracked the hell on.
My head’s spinning and I’m feeling a little worse for wear to say the least as my taxi pulls up outside my house. It’s not even dark and I’m pissed.
Do you know what? I’m not even going to apologize for it either. My head’s been all over the place and I needed a blow-out. A bloody good blow-out and that’s exactly what I did. God love Rachel, always there to hold my hand and make everything better. I really don’t know how or why she puts up with me at the best of times, but she does.
I rummage in the bottomless pit that is my bag for some change for the ride home.
“I’m going to take a wild stab in the dark and say you’ll pay for it tomorrow.”
“Huh?” I mumble back, still unable to locate my change. I always have spare change in the bottom of my bag. Not because I’m responsible and like to keep some handy for an emergency, but purely because I’m the world’s biggest lazy bitch and just throw it in and hope for the best.
“You’re head.”
“Oh, that, yeah.” I slur back, not really paying much attention. Shit, what am I going to do if I can’t find the cash to pay him? It’s not like I can offer him an I.O.U because I rarely take cabs and instead hop on the tube, but after today I just wanted to get home as soon as possible.
“That bad, huh?” He continues and this time I pull my eyes from out o
f my bag and meet his in the rear view mirror. A pair of kind, grey eyes surrounded by slight wrinkles, look back at me.
“Something like that, but I’m sure you don’t want me to bore the hell out of you.”
“Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on from time to time, lady.”
“Thanks.” I pull my hand out of my bag in defeat. Shit, there’s definitely no coinage in there. Nope, none whatsoever. “That’s very kind of you.”
“Well, I’m sure whatever it is, it’ll all come right in the end.”
“I thought so too…” I begin and before I can stop myself it all comes pouring out. I think he knows he’s in for it when I slam my bag down too. Maybe he’s right. Everyone does need a shoulder to cry on from time to time, especially if it’s a stranger because they can’t be biased and tell you what you want to hear. Not that I’m saying that’s what Rachel does… but you never know. What’s even better is that he’s male, so he’ll be better at giving me a little insight into how the mind of that stupid species functions. “Are you married, Mr…?”
He smiles back at me through the mirror and clears his throat ever so gently. I hope I haven’t offended him in any way. What the hell have I gone and done with my big fat trap now? He could be newly divorced or widowed for all I know and here I am bloody blurting something like that out. “I am.” He confirms and I suddenly find myself being able to breathe again. Thank the Lord for that. The last thing I need is to be booted out of this taxi, pissed up and unable to pay, in broad daylight. I dread to think what Mr Jones would think. “So, I take it this is all to do with the husband then?”
“Yes, no, well… he’s not my husband.”
“Ah, it’s all the same thing these days, love. The minute you spend more than a week with someone you’re practically married. It’s a shame, actually.”
“A shame?” I ask confused and I can feel the start of a migraine coming on as the alcohol wreaks havoc on my body. I’ve always been a lightweight, but once again my stress levels have got the better of me and I haven’t eaten a single thing all day.
“Marriage. Hardly anyone does it anymore. It’s like it’s lost all value and when people do seal the deal, nine times out of ten it all ends up in a bitter feud and divorce settlements.”
“Oh well, no. Mine’s nothing like that. I guess the only way I can put it is that I’ve just probably messed up the best thing that has ever happened to me.”
“Don’t be too hasty, dear. Maybe all you need is a few glasses of water, some paracetamol and a good night’s sleep.”
And that’s when the barriers break. Fuck my life. Never did I ever imagine that I would be sat in the back of a taxi, wasted with no cash, and pouring my heart out to a complete stranger. I would have preferred to have emptied my stomach contents and then done a runner, but then again, you can’t always choose these types of situations. I guess I’m just going to have to roll with it.
“Is there anyone that you would like me to call?”
“Not anymore.” I wail back at him as the tears of my soul begin to fall. “I thought I really had it all, you know. My life’s been a sack of shit for so long, I guess I should have known that it would be too good to be true. What am I supposed to do?”
“Maybe you could call him?” He offers sympathetically, and I can tell by the tone in his voice that he’d much rather be anywhere but here with me. Well, I’m sorry Mister. You asked, so now you’re gonna get.
“Maybe I would if he didn’t ignore my calls. I mean how many times can you call someone before you start to look desperate? More importantly, why isn’t he returning my calls? Why doesn’t he want to speak to me? Do you ever ignore your wife?”
“Ummm….”
“No.” I say, before he can fully answer. “I bet you don’t. I bet you listen to her having her hormonal hissy fits and sit patiently until shes finished only to tell her that everything’s going to be all right. That’s what Matt should have done. He should have known that I just needed to cool down because in all fairness he’d just delivered one hell of an announcement to me. What was I supposed to do? Play happy families? I don’t bloody think so, and he’s supposed to know me. Well, if he did, then he would have known that I was going to spit my dummy out. Fuck, what the hell would Graham want with me, anyway? Does he not think that he’s ruined my life enough? Maybe not just him, his psychotic daughter was the main issue, but still he pushed our friendship and professional relationship aside and believed his lying little devil spawn.
“Do you know what, darling?”
I look up and meet his kind eyes in the mirror and he smiles a small, caring smile at me. “What?” I ask, not really sure what kind of wisdom he’s about to instil on me.
“I think you’ve been handed enough crap for one day, so call it my good deed for the day.” When I don’t say anything back to him, he must sense my confusion, because he says, “don’t worry about the cab fare. You go and find your man and tell him what for. There’s too much waste going around in your generation. No one fights for what they have anymore.”
“You’re wife’s lucky to have you.” I say and I mean every word. Maybe he’s right. Maybe no one fights hard enough for what they want anymore — and that’s a mighty fucking shame.
“Hi…” I mumble sheepishly, yet I’m still raging on the inside. My eyes struggle to meet his. I’m not one hundred percent sure how I’ll react if I do look at him. I mean it will go one of two ways; either my beautiful Louboutin’s will go flying across his face and I’ll end up being arrested, or I might crumble and melt instantly while diving into his arms, into my new found safe place. I really don’t want it to be either, but if I had to choose out of the two, then I’d rather spend the night in a cell. At least that way he’d know that I’m being serious and I won’t be a pushover for any man, and of course there’d be hot coppers too. Kind of a win-win in a weird, fucked up way.
“Emily…” He begins, his voice all calm and collected. Too bloody right too. What’s he even got to be mad about, anyway? He’s so in the wrong in all of this, not me. Okay, well maybe I’m a little in the wrong, but I’m playing stubborn princess here so I don’t need to divulge that right now. “Where have you been?” He asks when I don’t answer him. “You know I’ve been kind of worried…”
“Really?” I scoff back in a totally childish manner, even my hair flicks back and everything as I finally raise my head to look at him. “Somehow I find that hard to believe, Matthew.”
“You’re still pissed off then?”
“Five points to the dickhead in front.”
“Maybe I’ll come back when you’ve sobered up a little. You’re clearly not in the mood to listen to me, are you?”
“Do you know what, no I’m not. You didn’t want to listen to me the other day, so, why should I?” The words just fall freely from my lips and I can’t stop them. All I really want him to do is stand up and pull me into his warm embrace, but he doesn’t. Instead, he just stands at my front door, staring at me with a bewildered expression on his face.
“Fine.” He snaps.
“Bye Felicia.” I reply and stagger past him and fiddle with the key trying my damned hardest to get it into the lock and failing miserably.
I feel him behind me before I hear him and all my senses prickle to life. “Here, let me do it.”
“I don’t need…”
“Parker,” he warns and I hand him the key. “There you go,” he says as the door swings open. “How about I make us a coffee?”
“I’ll take the coffee, but it doesn’t change anything. I’m absolutely livid with you.” To be honest, in my drunk state I don’t sound all that convincing and I notice a small smirk appear on his face.
“I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have acted the way I did, but you shouldn’t have bloody stormed off like that. What are you, ten?”
“I may as well be after the way you treated me.”
I throw my shoes down by the sofa and dive into its cushions. Sweet baby Jesus
, I’ve been waiting for this all day and it feels so good.
“So where have you been?”
“Just with Rachel. She thought I could do with some cheering up so she took me to a fancy wine bar where we then proceeded to get pissed and it was jolly bloody good. Maybe I should be asking you where you’ve been?”
“At work or at home. Where else would I have been?”
“Well you haven’t returned any of my calls so I’m not sure. For all I knew bloody Cruella could have wandered back into the office and dragged you back to her bed with those ridiculous claws of hers.” The thought hadn’t even entered my mind until now and I really wish it hadn’t as all kinds of paranoia consume me. What if that’s true? What if he ended up running back to that little tramp when the going got tough between us? Bloody hell, I bet he has as well. His silence does nothing to ease the fear that’s now bubbling up in my stomach. “Matthew…?” I ask again when he doesn’t answer.
“Are we really going there?”
“Too fucking right, we are. Is that all it takes? One stupid little argument and you start running about with your tail between your legs because being in a relationship is all too much for you?”
“Have you finished?”
“Do you know what? Yes, I think I have. Go home and shut the pissing door on your way out.” I snap back at him, looking him square in the eye.
Well that went swimmingly, didn’t it? What did I even let him in for? Because he offered coffee…
Oh, yeah, he did. Looks like I won’t be getting that now. Instead, I’ve got all sorts of hideous images of the two of them together in my head. I bet they’ve been having a right good laugh at me too.
“It’s about as pink as I can make it.”
“Perfect. You know, I’ve even convinced him to wear a baby pink tie.”
“You have? That’s great. I don’t think my fella would ever agree to that, but then again I don’t think there’ll ever be a wedding at this rate.” I say on a deep sigh.
Love, Lies and Louboutins (Heartbreak Book 2) Page 8