“You knocked on my door this time, Sugar.”
“I know.” I didn’t tell him that it was as much about saying goodbye as it was about getting rid of the drugs. Until this morning, this moment, I hadn’t even admitted it to myself. I couldn’t fall back into his arms after this because I wouldn’t be in Rio Verde anymore.
He stood and grabbed a pair of jeans from the floor. “I’ll take you home and pick it up. Let me make a couple calls first.”
I paced to the dresser and started rifling through the drawers. I still kept a few things here. It made it hard to say we were over, but I’d had to put on clothes from the night before too often the past few months. Practicality came first sometimes—even when it made the lies I told myself very, very transparent.
“Grab a shower. I’m going to make coffee.” He stopped at the door. “Do you want me to come with you when you go in to quit?”
The tears I was sick of shedding when I was with him filled my eyes again. I knew that we were horrible for one another, but somehow Tommy couldn’t remember that. He made it harder and harder to end us.
“Why do you do this to me?” I asked.
“Because I love you. Whether you want me or not, I still want you. I don’t know what happened, but you’re in a mess of some sort and I’m not going to let anything happen to you. I’m glad you’re not stupid enough to go back there to work after stealing someone’s drugs. If you let me in, I’ll do what I can about the rest of what you’re trying to hide.”
My face was soaked now. My body ached. And I was a lot more afraid of going to The Coffee Cave than I wanted to admit. I could call in, but I needed to see the spot where it happened. It was the only way I could think of to erase the last image I had of the place, the one with blood on the floor and a man wrapped in trash bags. “I’m good. It’s daylight, and I’ll be quick.”
“People do ugly things during the day too,” Tommy pointed out. He didn’t add that he was one of those people. He didn’t have to say it for it to be real though.
“No one will be looking today, maybe soon, but this morning we’re good.”
He gave me a look that was full of all of the questions he didn’t ask, but he let it go. If I was ready to tell him, I would. He knew that. That was how we existed without fights for these few moments after we were out of bed: We clung to silence and omissions.
After Tommy made his calls and I showered, we went to my place to get the drugs. I handed him the two bricks of cocaine and he tucked them into the backpack he’d slung over his shoulder. He’d look like any of the thousands of students who went to ASU Rio Verde, just a bit more dangerous than most of them.
“I’ll bring the money or the coke back tonight,” he promised.
“Be careful, okay?”
“Always am.” He grinned at me, and I felt like my heart was cracking. He wasn’t perfect, but he loved me.
I flashed back to the man who’d died last night. People don’t carry that kind of cash and coke without their absence getting noticed. I was pretty sure we were fast enough to be safe, but soon I wouldn’t be. Would they go looking for Tommy when they couldn’t find me? If they figured out that I’d taken the coke, it wasn’t hard to draw a line from me to Tommy. He was a small-time dealer, and we’d been more or less together for a couple years.
I caught his hand in mine. I owed him a way out of this life too. Maybe we could save one another, start over and be better people. Maybe I could have that little house, and he could become the guy I needed. People can change, right? I stared into his eyes and asked, “If we had enough money to go away from here, to start over, to not have to have any drugs around at all, would you do it?”
“The money from two keys isn’t going to be enough forever.”
“What if there was more?” I squirmed as I said it, but I didn’t look away.
He still watched me like he knew I was about to bolt. “How much more, Sugar?”
“Two or three times more, maybe,” I said quietly. “If I could get another hundred thousand dollars… could you promise no more drugs?”
He pulled me closer and kissed me until I thought I was going to combust. There was something magic about the way he knew my body. We did everything else wrong, but we were amazing at this part. I had both legs wrapped around him, and he walked forward with me clinging to him.
Once he had me braced between him and the wall, he stopped kissing me. “Pack your bags, Sugar Sweet. I’ll go make this last sale, and we’ll get out of here tomorrow.”
He tucked my hair behind my ear, kissed me briefly again, and left.
I closed the door behind him, locked it, and leaned against it. I didn’t love him. I’m not sure I ever had, but I owed it to him to try. If he could give up the things he did, maybe we could make it work. Maybe this money could give us a new start. Maybe great sex could turn into a relationship with a happy forever.
After a few moments, I pushed off the door. I was too on edge to try to sleep again, even though I knew I should.
I called Cass.
“Are you okay?” she asked as soon as she answered.
“Sure,” I lied.
“What are you going to do?”
I shrugged, even though I was alone in the apartment. “Go in to quit when they open. Jason should be there.”
“Do you think the prick is actually in? I need to quit too.”
“So will Dillon, I bet,” I said. There was no way this wasn’t going to look suspicious, but I wasn’t going to be able to work at The Coffee Cave even if I could get past the fear of the owner of the coke and money showing up. Images of being jerked over the bar flashed through my mind again. I’d really thought he was going to kill me when I saw him reach for his gun.
“Text me when you go in so I know if he’s there,” Cass said. “Maybe I should just call.”
“I’m going in… I need to. I need to see it without the… without that on the floor. Maybe it’ll get it out of my head.” I paced to my bedroom and started pulling out things that I didn’t want to leave behind. I wasn’t going to be able to take everything. Clothes. Shoes. Pictures. Those were going into suitcases, but I couldn’t take everything.
I flopped down on my bed while Cass talked.
I didn’t know how to sort everything out to leave town. Should I leave my stuff behind and replace it? Should I come back for it later? I hopped back to my feet and dragged out my two suitcases. Then I started tossing clothes I needed to take with me onto the bed.
We talked for a few minutes while I sorted out the things I wanted to take and the ones I could stand leaving behind. Then I told her, “I’m going away tomorrow or the next day. If anything happens that I need to know, call me, okay?”
She was the one who said it was a bad idea to talk to anyone who was there, but I don’t think either of us thought that meant us. I needed to keep in touch with her. I wasn’t going to talk to any of the customers or even Dillon. Talking to Cass was different though. We weren’t talking because of the guy in the shop or the money. We talked before all of that. We were friends.
We hung up, and I spent the next two hours packing what I could. I wasn’t going to look backward after today. I was going to turn my life around. I was going to save Tommy too. We’d both be better after we got away from Rio Verde.
Chapter 5
I left my hair loose to hide the bruise on my face. I’d put make-up on too, but even the best concealer and foundation I’d found didn’t hide bruises perfectly—and I’d tried quite a few of them while dating Tommy. He’d never once raised a hand to me in anger, but he’d left more marks on me during sex than I would ever want to count. Concealer, foundation, long hair, and long sleeves: that was the uniform of a girl who had things to hide. I wanted to keep Tommy’s t-shirt on, but in order to leave the apartment, I had changed into a long sleeved shirt with a ruffle around the wrists. If anyone saw the marks on me, I could just say I was back with Tommy. Still, I wanted to hide it all because some of the fingerprints weren’t
his. They belonged to a man whose body had been cremated if all went according to our hasty plan.
It was unsettling walking into The Coffee Cave in the harsh desert daylight after what had happened here less than twelve hours ago. The shop always looked a little more worn out during the day, but today was worse. I couldn’t help glancing at the very clean floor where the drug dealer had bled and died. There was no trace of his blood, but I could still imagine him there.
He was dead.
We robbed a dead man.
We hid the murder.
We burned a body.
I shivered. Memories, guilt, and withdrawal were a shitty combination.
“It’s not payday,” Jason said when I walked toward the back room where he sat. He looked almost comical as he sat at a brightly painted, wooden desk. Like everything in the shop—including the employees—it had seen better days.
“I know.”
I walked farther into the room. Jason watched me with an expressionless face. He was a weasel of a man, the sort of guy who wore his penny-pinching like a badge of honor. I wouldn’t be surprised if he instituted pat downs at the door or a video camera to catch us if we gave away free coffee…. Suddenly, my heart stuttered. My hands grew damp. Did he have a camera? I wouldn’t put it past him. I stared at him in silence, trying to figure out if there was any way to ask. I was pretty sure there wasn’t.
“What do you need, Sugar? I’m short staffed tonight, and—”
“I quit,” I blurted out.
His lips pressed tightly together as he stared at me. He reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose. Then he said, “Okay, so I need to find two baristas in two weeks, and right before summer when all the coeds leave. Great.”
“I quit now,” I amended.
“No.”
I looked at him. He was an average man. He wasn’t ugly. He could even be funny sometimes. I felt a twinge of guilt at leaving him in the lurch.
Then I thought about the cash, the drugs, and the dead man; the likelihood of someone coming looking for all three was high. If Jason had a camera and saw what was on there, he’d either turn it over to the police or blackmail us all. I wasn’t sure which. Either way, it was one more reason to get the hell out of town. Immediately.
“Now. I quit now.” I crossed my arms. “I just wanted to tell you.”
“What the hell, Sugar! You and bitchy Cass are both quitting? I count on you when the college kids all run home to mommy and daddy for the summer. Don’t do this to me.” He rubbed his temples. “Is this a coup or something? Did one of the kids leave a textbook you managed to understand and you two decided to extort a raise? Fine. Sold. I’ll give you each a dollar raise per hour. Tell her, and both of you can get away with it this once.”
I shook my head. He was a prick. I could understand the things they taught at school. I wasn’t stupid. Neither was Cass. I didn’t point any of that out. All I said was, “No. I just thought it was right to tell you in person.”
For a moment, he stared at me. I didn’t look away. I had a hell of a lot more to worry about than a pissed off coffee shop manager. He didn’t intimidate me when he was my boss; he sure as fuck didn’t intimidate me now. If he’d had video cameras, he’d have mentioned the murder by now—unless he hadn’t seen them. I thought it was possible, but not likely.
No, the only witnesses to the crime were the other twelve people from last night. Some were guiltier than others if it all came out. That football player Blake had helped the one drunk girl get rid of a body. The hippie girl, Whitney, had hidden the car. Jess had pulled the trigger. The senator’s kid, Joe, had been the one to suggest we hide everything. Cass had cleaned up the blood and wrapped the body… and I… I stole drugs. We all hid the crime, and we all took the cash, but there were some of us more likely to be at risk than others. If Jason knew any of what had happened or found out, he wouldn’t be keeping quiet.
“Don’t think you can come back here for your paycheck, either. You or the other bitch. Just get out and stay out if this is how you’re going to be,” Jason snapped. His voice was louder and louder as he went.
I wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. I wasn’t frightened, not of my penny-pinching boss. Drug dealers? Police? The man who punched me and stood over me with a gun? Those all scared me. A grumpy ex-boss wasn’t anywhere on my list.
“Sorry,” I said.
“Go to hell,” he replied, just as calmly.
I turned and left the back room. I didn’t hurry. This was the last time I’d ever see this place. I’d worked there for over three years, and I was about to leave for good. There were customers I’d miss, and there were things about the familiarity of the shop that I’d miss. Just not enough to stick around and risk jail or death.
For a moment, I paused and scanned the ceiling, looking for anywhere that a camera could be hidden. There were a couple spots that were possibilities, but nothing I’d call likely. I was as sure as I could be that there wasn’t a video of what happened. That was the best I could do.
Then I walked around the floor where the corpse had been, but other than that slight deviation, I walked straight to the door and out to the street. This was it. I was walking out of my job, abandoning my apartment, and leaving Rio Verde.
There was one stop I needed to make yet, one goodbye I needed to give, and then I’d go home and finish packing. Potential videos, witnesses who spilled our secret, dealers looking for cash and drugs… there was a growing list of reasons to get gone.
I drove over to Sinners Ink with something heavy in the pit of my stomach. Adam wasn’t going to be as easy to leave as the rest of Rio Verde. We were friends; he was Tommy’s cousin. Neither fact meant that he’d think me taking off with Tommy last minute was a great idea. It actually meant the opposite. He’d known Tommy and me during our days of throwing things at each other, screaming obscenities, and then screwing in the bathroom of some bar. He’d never quite reached the point of telling us that we were bad together, but he had been very encouraging when either of us mentioned breaking up for good.
This early, Sinners Ink was barely open. The light in the window was on, and when I pushed on the door, it opened for me, but most of the shop lights were still off.
“Hello?” I called as I stepped inside.
The only sound was the fwump of the door closing behind me.
“Adam?” I walked farther into the waiting area. Racks of flash art jutted out from the walls in mounted poster frames, and other available images were in flat frames covering a lot of the open space. Interspersed among the available tattoos were several magazine covers that highlighted either an artist who currently worked at SI or one who used to work there. Tattooists were often a transient lot, doing stints at shops while they traveled. Adam had rolled into town a couple of years ago to check on Tommy, and then he’d stayed. Several of the framed magazine covers were his.
A blue-haired girl with a lot of piercings came out of the back room. “Hey Sugar. What’s up?”
“Is Adam around?” I asked.
“At his station,” she said. “He’ll be out to check his schedule in a few minutes or I can tell him you’re here.”
“I’ll wait.” I couldn’t remember the girl’s name. We’d been at parties together a few times, but I didn’t really know her. I smiled to show I remembered her, though. “How are you?”
“Eh. You know how it is. Too much work, not enough play.” She smiled. “I get my kicks by chasing out the bunnies when I can. It would be more fun, but Mr. Sex on A Stick won’t let me use the broom to sweep them out. He lets them hang around, even though he’s been bunny-free for a couple months now.”
I raised both brows. “Really?”
“Oh yeah. You mustn’t have seen him, or you’d have noticed. It’s doing great things for his mood, too,” she added sarcastically.
The idea of Adam being celibate was as likely as Tommy quitting drugs and smokes. I guess it was the season for a lot of changes. I shook my head
. Adam hadn’t seemed surly when I’d seen him.
“Oh,” I said. I couldn’t think of what else there was to say.
“If I didn’t have to work with him, I’d give the boy a pity fuck. Can’t screw where I work though. Boys get all clingy and turn into lost puppies, and then I’m left dealing with the guilt of kicking puppies.”
I grinned, trying to picture six foot of muscle and ink being called a puppy. Maybe it would work if he was a Rottweiler or pit bull, but Adam didn’t strike me as someone who’d ever be very puppy-ish. Sometimes I thought he had to have been born fully formed like one of those gods in myths. The idea of him as anything other than intense seemed too strange to consider.
Then Adam walked into the waiting area like he needed to appear to prove my point. He wasn’t wearing anything fancy, just jeans and a black shirt. The jeans were well-fit without being tight, and the shirt was his usual, a t-shirt with a slogan. This one was from a shop called Naked Ink claiming: “be instantly sexier: just add ink.” With him as an advertisement, I was betting people would buy into that theory pretty willingly.
All of his edges seemed to soften when he saw me. He smiled, arrived at the wrong conclusion about my appearance, and said, “Hey! I’m glad you came in after all. I think I have at least an hour.”
I felt like a mountain of guilt had just fallen on me. “Adam,” I started.
He turned away and said, “Betsey, what’s my first appointment?”
Apparently that was the blue-haired girl’s name because she went over to the desk to get the appointment book.
“Adam!” I said louder. “I’m not here for that.”
Betsey laughed, a husky sound that made me think she smoked far too much far too often, and asked, “Ooooh, are you here to help him with his prob—”
“Out, Bets.” Adam cut her off and scowled. His already impressive biceps bulged as he crossed his arms. “Go check the stock or something.”
“Seriously?” She laughed. “I’ll go have a smoke. I’m not your errand girl.”
“Actually, you are,” he muttered.
Unfiltered & Unlawful (The Unfiltered Series) Page 5