Now Vivian.
Something strange about her was... all compiled within her, was everything that he needed to possibly redeem himself.
He saw her as an ultimate prize.
She was black.
She was beautiful.
She was intelligent.
She was successful.
She was single, not belonging to someone else.
She was top of the line.
His mother wanted her.
He wanted her.
She wanted him.
Yet, she too... rejected him. Not because she didn't want him, nooo, not that - it was because he didn't get to use her. She wouldn't let him. She set the standard. Her value. To have her, he must be a man. To have her, for once, he must exhibit all the qualities of a real man. To have her, he must reach her, expectations. Had she been anything other than respectable, unworthy of what she demanded, he would have laughed in her face, walked away and not looked back. He had not, he could not. She was, the real deal. She was the sparkling diamond. Worthy of him meeting her expectations. Problem was, he'd never been expected to do anything right before. If he failed. He would lose her. If he failed, they would all look at him, shake their heads and say, "It's exactly what we expected." Especially his father. And Shawn, yes... he would agree with him. Kathy Ann would laugh at him. Shanna would feel sorry for him. And Derrick was too wrapped up in his family to care. He came home like the dutiful good son. Showed off his perfect family. Helped their father, indulged their mother, and played the peace keeper and Mr. Perfect. Like Shawn, everything he did, was a success. While Shawn acted like he was perfect, and he knew better, Jake knew that he wasn't, but - he played the game well. Derrick... Derrick was perfect. No act. What you saw, was what there was. And then he thought of himself.
Jake's stomach hurt. His knees buckled, forcing him to squat while leaning against the railing, his forearms crossed over the other, with his forehead leaning there.
"Jake?" Sheila called his name, opening her screen door to look at him.
"She's over my head. She's out of my reach. I'm gonna fuck it up. I just know I am. When I do, they'll all be looking at me like I'm a piece of shit! Fuck! I'm fucking nobody, and I'm always going to be, a fucking nobody! Why the fuck does she want me!?" Jake stood and turned to Sheila, his face wet.
Sheila wanted so bad to go to him, but she dare not. She kept her distance. Something about him, seeing him like that, made her want to reach out to him. She wasn't dumb, and she wasn't born under a rock. He was a dangerous type of man to console. She backed up in the door, disappeared from sight a moment and returned with a box of Kleenex for him, which she passed him.
He took it, keeping his face down, pulled out a couple and blew his nose. Wiped his eyes. Wiped his hand over his face, shaking his head. "I'm sorry about that." He apologized, unable to look up at her.
"That's okay." She returned from doorway.
Taking a deep breath, he glanced up at her, staring at her a few moments, he smiled. Dennis stepped up beside her, looking at him. He opened the door wider, "You alright, man?"
"Yeah... just trippin'."
"I bet you ain't had nothing to eat today." Dennis asked.
"No, I haven't." Jake sniffed.
Sheila backed away and went into the kitchen, checking the food she started in the slow cooker that morning, before getting Vivian off to the train station. The potatoes were done. They had been baking in the oven, individually wrapped in foil with onions, garlic, celery, salt, pepper and butter. Fresh green beans, not canned or frozen, sat in a pot, ready to go, prepared with smoked ham chucks she used for seasoning. In the slow cooker, two large chuck roasts, browned and prepared to simmer for hours, surrounded with mushrooms, green onions, and gravy. She took out a pan, buttered the bottom and opened a can of flaky biscuits, set them out in it side by side, buttered the top, sprinkled over them parsley parmesan cheese and then minced garlic. She popped them in the oven. She left the kitchen, heading for the basement where her boys were, leaving the two men alone to talk.
"Ah Dennis, I wanted so much to come here and - just - spend some time with her."
"You still can, she'll be at your folks." Dennis pointed out.
"I know. I just, well - my dad. He's - he'll be watching me like a hawk with her. I know he will. My father is very, very protective of women."
"You saying your old man don't trust you with'em?"
"Not one damn bit." Jake chuckled.
"So, what you gonna do?"
Jake stood for a moment thinking, "Can you do me a favor?"
"If I can. What?"
"Did Vivian leave you all the keys to her place?"
"Yep, we told her we would watch it for her while she was gone, why?"
"I have something I wanna put in there. Mind going to my place with me and helping me get something?"
"I take it, it's for Vivian?"
"Yeah... something I got her the other week."
"It's that big, you need help with it?"
"It's not all that big, but there are pieces to it when I take it apart, and it weighs quite a bit."
"No problem, I'll help you with it. Mind if we go after we eat?"
"Hey, hungry as I am? Definitely after we eat."
Once again, Jake was in heaven with the food prepared. One thing he had no complaints about, and that was the way Sylvia and Sheila cooked. Not even Shawn could top some of the dishes they prepared. Only his mother compared to them, but she didn't do a whole lot of soul food combinations, because of his father and his preferences. Every week or so, when they were growing up, she would prepare something very similar to soul food. Greens, catfish, Gumbo, fried pork chops, steak-onions and gravy, fried chicken and so many others. He loved it all, so did Shawn. There were certain dishes, Derrick and the girls picked over. But he and Shawn, they would inhale it. Just as Jake was doing right then.
Dennis was watching him.
"Man! You better slow yo' ass down, you ain't gettin' a whole lot'a helpin's of this shit! Hell! You the eatinest, mofo I ever seen!"
Jake grinned, "Man, your wife can cook! This food is good! This is man's food! Manly food!" Jake winked and pounded his chest.
Tyrese, Jimmy, and Zachary were cracking up at Jake.
"Look hear now - don't be beatin' yo' goddamn chest at my table! I'm the man round here! Anybody gone be beatin' they chest here, it's gone be me! Teaching my boys bad habits! Tyrese, you laughing now, but you gone be the last at the table if you don't eat them green beans! Everyone of 'em, I want 'em gone!"
"I'on like no green beans, daddy!"
"Boy, I ain't ask you no questions, did I? I said - eat them green beans."
"Can I have another biscuit if I eat'em?" Tyrese asked. While sitting on the edge of his plate, were the tops off of three biscuits. He didn't like garlic, and green flakes on his biscuits.
"Eat them tops you got there!" Dennis pointed at them laying on the side.
"I don't like my biscuits that way!" Tyrese whined.
Jake reached over, grabbed them, and popped them in his mouth. They were fantastic, perfectly browned. "I thought you were saving 'em for last."
Dennis looked at him as if he were crazy, and then looked at Sheila, who was laughing out of control.
"Man!" Dennis said, just about speechless.
"Waste not, want not! Want me to eat his green beans, too?" Jake asked.
Tyrese shoved his plate at him. "Please! Eat 'em all!"
"Boy! Jake! Sheila!" Dennis didn't know who to turn to, "Hell nah! What the hell is going on here?! Man, what you do, leave off eatin' until you bring yo' ass here?!"
"You gonna finish your food?" Jake asked, grinning.
Dennis picked up his fork with the tines up. "Man! Don't do it!"
Sheila laughed at them both, "Jake, if you want some more, just say it."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Let me finish mine first, see if I want some more!"
"Now you know Dennis, I always cook plenty, we al
ways got leftovers."
"Sheila - the way he eatin'! Ain't gone be shit left over!" Dennis fussed, Jake looked over into his plate. Dennis threw his hands over it. "What you lookin' for in there? Man, don't make me fork you! I ain't playing wit'chu! Lookin' in my plate like that! Hungry ass!"
Sheila was dying with laughter.
"Well, how much more you gone eat? You'd never make it at a table with me, Shawn, and Derrick."
"I ain't at the table with you, Shawn, and Derrick! I'm at my table! Quit lookin' in my plate!" Dennis complained.
"Can I have a little bit more?" Jake boldly asked Sheila, he was still a bit hungry.
"Yeah, you can have some more." Sheila announced, getting up.
"Wait, wait, wait now... how much left in the pot?" Dennis asked, worried. His sons were laughing at him, because Jake was turning to them winking.
"Dennis! Don't be rude, there's plenty left for you, too!" Sheila called, grabbing Jake's plate.
"You know I like to take some to work for lunch, too! There enough for that?" Dennis looked from Sheila back to Jake. Who was craning his neck to see how much Sheila was putting on his plate.
"Man, chill... she got'chu - she got'chu!" Dennis waved Jake down, and turning to his youngest boys. "Ya'll gone be at the table to bedtime.
Full as can be, he and Dennis finally got underway to his basement apartment. When Dennis saw the vanity, he couldn't believe it.
"Man, yo' ass in love with her! How much that cost?"
"Almost two thousand, the guy let us deal a bit for it." Jake answered, using his screw driving to loosen the mirror to remove it.
"Wait a minute, you spent that kind of money on a woman you ain't even got yet? Or, rather I should say, one that you ain't made your mind up on?"
"I've made up my mind." Jake stated simply.
"I see. Well, let's get it over there. She know about it yet?"
"Nope, and I don't want her to know about it. I want her to come home and find it there. I have to buy her a card, some dried flowers to lay across it, and a nice candle."
"Listen at yo'ass! Gone lay it out!"
"She's worth it man... she's worth it."
They loaded it up carefully, and took off to a florist where Jake bought dried blood red roses, three decorative, long stem votive candle holders. They sparkled like crystal. And three candles with a blend of eucalyptus, lavender and camomile. He saw a silk, rectangular lace doily, cream color and asked the woman at the counter for one. They didn't have any, that one on the shelf under a display was for presentation, she explained.
"I need that please, I don't have time to run all over looking for one, I need to get back on the road. How much for it?"
"Its not for sale." She explained.
"Its a floral, bric-a-brac shop, everything is for sale. Where's your manager?"
She walked to the back room and called him to the front of the shop. Walking out, with the young woman in front of him, the manager looked at Jake with a question in his eyes. Jake pointed to it, "I need that lacy thing there on the shelf, how much?"
The man looked at it, and then back at Jake. He walked over, removed the items that were sitting on it. Shook it out, and said, "Twenty dollars? Its silk."
Jake stood back in Vivian's bedroom with Sheila and Dennis behind him. "How's it look?"
"She gone cry a river. You know how long she been looking at something just like that? Never bought it because she really didn't need it; and she wasn't willing to settle for no cheap imitation. She gone cry." Sheila repeated again.
"Man where you come off settin' it up with the roses, the card, candles and lace? What's up with that boy'yo!?" Dennis teased.
"Spent a lot of time with my mother and sisters. My little sister always considered herself a decorator. When my mom threw Tupperware parties, or any one of those other kinds of parties women throw, she would set it up like this and ask me, how does it look. Women like stuff like this? Don't they Sheila?"
Sheila had to blink to snap out of a weird feeling, she looked up at her husband saying, "You better listen and learn somethin'!"
"Hey! I know all I need to know, you complainin'?"
She smiled, "No... I'm just sayin'."
"Well I better get going. I guess it wasn't a total wasted trip. Shawn's probably fit to be tied. I'm supposed to be helping him-... Ah shit! I was supposed to get my sisters stuff out of storage for her this morning. Oh hell... let me get out of here."
"You bes' get going then boy!"
"You all still coming down this weekend right?!" He asked moving towards the door, looking behind him to make sure he left nothing laying around. He stood at the door after they went through it to look back at her bedroom now. They'd had to rearrange it a bit to find a proper spot for the vanity, but every fit perfectly. Jake stood looking over the room, he couldn't wait for her to come home and see it. He clicked off the light.
"Be down Friday evenin'!" Dennis announced.
"I'm going back to the house baby. See you this weekend Jake, be careful going home."
"I will! Thanks for dinner! See you this weekend." He called to her. She waved and left out the door.
He turned to Dennis. "Watch this place for her Dennis, I wouldn't want her to come home and everything be gone." Jake pleaded walking to the door.
"Up until Friday man, I'll be keepin' an eye on it. She need to install an alarm on this place if she gone have all this expensive ass stuff!"
"I know, she should. If I could afford it, I'd have you get one installed for her before this weekend. I can tell you this, if we're going to be together, she's going to have to relocate to Wisconsin."
Dennis shook his head. "Sheila ain't gone like that."
* * *
"I wonder if Vivian is here yet? You think she'll want to come by your place?" Shanna asked Sylvia as she looked for sales stickers at Wal-mart. They'd just gone and picked Angela up from school. Shawn had been gone all day, they'd heard nothing from him since he left that morning.
"I don't know. She might, but then ... she'll probably want to stay by your parents. We'll know when she gets here. I wanna know where the heck your brother is!? I can't believe it takes all day long to get boxes out of storage." Sylvia complained.
"There are a lot of them. Maybe he'll be at the house when we get back."
"Hopefully. I still have to get dinner on, and where is Angela?" Sylvia looked up the aisle one way and then back the other.
"Look, there she is." Shanna pointed back the other way.
Sylvia looked up to see her coming down the aisle with another girl her size and age. "Sylvia, this is my friend Thomasa. Thomasa, this is my mom, Sylvia."
Thomasa was a girl who looked to be of mixed American Indian heritage. Dark olive complexion and jet black hair to her hips. Most of the true Menominee Indians were darker than she was.
"Hi Thomasa." Sylvia greeted her.
"Hi." She returned shy.
"Can she come over this weekend when we have the barbecue?" Angela asked.
"I don't see why not. Long as its okay with her parents, sure. I'm getting ready to check out." Sylvia warned before she took off again through the store.
"Okay, I'll find you. I'll be right back, we're gonna go ask her mom! She's in the freezer section."
"Okay but hurry up! I have to get home and cook!"
By the time they made it back to the house, Shawn was there with a trailer hitch. It was backed up to Shanna's home as he unloaded it, taking the boxes in and setting them down.
"See he's home." Shanna commented right away seeing him.
Sylvia pulled into her driveway, and all three of them got out of the mustang; grabbing bags as they did. They had to go into the garage and through the door there, and inside and up the steps, down the hall and then into the house, to set the bags down.
"Shawn's gonna have to put a door in the side of the wall they built, I don't like having to go into the garage and through all of that to come into the house. " Sylvia obs
erved.
"I agree with you. There's plenty of room there to do it, I don't know why they didn't think of that."
"They men - that's why! They may create a design, but it takes our input to perfect it." Sylvia teased laughing. "I better get dinner started, he'll be hungry and complaining if he didn't get himself anything to eat."
"Good idea. I'll be back, I'm gonna run over and help him finish unloading the trailer."
Shanna was excited running across the road and down it a half a block to her place, her brother was coming out to get another box, he was sweating and looking mean. She put on the breaks. "Oh shoot, he's not happy." She mumbled low.
"Hi Shawn, I'm home to help you get the rest in." She spoke up as she stepped onto the trailer behind him to grab a box.
"Sylvia gonna start cooking?" He asked, his tone was not one of a good mood.
"Yeah, she was starting when I came out here. You were gone a long time."
"Well excuse the fuck out of me! I had to rent a goddamn trailer! Couldn't find one available! Had to wait around for someone to return it, who were late bringing it in. Pissed me off because after waiting all that time, they had to fuckin' check it in, and get that person to pay extra. Of course I'm fucking standing there waiting and instead of letting me, sign, pay and go, I had to endure that shit! I hate fuckin' wasting a day! Jake should have had his ass here doing this! Unlike him, I don't punch in at a job, I have to squeeze my goddamn work in with all the other shit I have to do! Didn't get any fucking work done! On the house or with my job! Why? Because he leaves as fucking usual and I have to pick up for it! Don't be surprised if he pulls up and I pop the fuck out of him!"
BOMAW 7-9 Page 5