Everyone was having this good time! Celebrating his return. All of them, everyone, guilty of avoiding one thing while happy and celebrating, he'd felt like saying to everyone, hey... what about me?
He'd wanted to stand in the midst of them all, laughing, drinking, dancing and shout at the top of his lungs, "WHAT ABOUT ME!!! HE-E-EY SHAWN! GUESS WHAT? I MIGHT BE YOUR SON??? DOES ANYBODY GIVE A DAMN!?!" Of course he didn't shout it. He carried on, just as everyone else carried on. Kevin the only one, who came to him time to time to ask, "You okay?" In which he would immediately answer, "Yeah... I'm cool." In truth, he'd been anything but cool.
Then they'd come there to Chicago to help his dad move Vivian.
He couldn't believe it... he'd actually gotten his attention, and for more than an hour if not two, they talked. Before that, he'd enjoyed playing basketball with him in the alley, in that time frame, he'd imagined that he'd known - that he was his father, and that he, Benjamin, was his son. Benjamin had been in heaven. They had so much in common. He'd known that, from all the paintings, drawings and art work his grandmother had shown him. But to actually sit with him and have a conversation, having done that, had made the trip to Chicago worth it. Eagerly he'd sat with him and hoped that at some point he would look at him and see, how much alike they were. Yet, no matter how nice and interested in him he'd been, there was nothing in his eyes that showed any hope that he might suspect that he was talking to his son.
They were throwing a big barbecue for the memorial day weekend. All the family was supposed to be there Saturday for it. He wasn't sure if he would show up. The last thing he wanted was to be standing by hoping upon hope that he would notice him. That he would look at him, and see that there was a possible link between them.
Benjamin at that moment and time, lay pissed at them all.
Pissed because no one was saying anything! They were all keeping things hush hush as if the truth were some preciously guarded secret! Why? Because nobody gave a damn! That's why! Not one person there was in his shoes. Not one of them understood what it felt like to have no true identity. Over and over he'd tried to convince himself that at least he knew that it was one - or - the other... but who the hell could be happy with that? He didn't want to spend the rest of his life stuck in a time warp of, "Eeny meeny miny mo!" He wanted to know. He needed to know. It pissed him off, that everyone - especially his mother, assumed - that all was well and good in the world of Benjamin, son of Jake or Shawn McPherson!
Not one of them pushed to ask for a blood test, proof of who his father was! It was like, why should they care?! It wasn't them walking around with the names, Jake Maybe, or Mystery McPherson. Not even Jake cared enough to clarify it! It wasn't like he really gave a true damn about any of them anyway. Benjamin knew he was being spiteful and petulant, but for once, he wished that they could see... that as a man, he wanted to have absolute identity. If to know who his father was, was impossible due tono one knowing who, including his mother, that was different, he would have to accept that. But the fact was, it was possible to know! The means to know was more possible than ever with DNA testing. In the end, it lie in the hands of his mother. She was the one holding him back from knowing the man that sired him. No matter how much he tried to reason in his head, that knowing which brother was his father would make no difference in his life, made no difference in the way he felt.
At that moment, he didn't want anything to do with any of them. Jake, Shawn, his grandparents and most certainly not his mother. If he had somewhere to disappear to for a couple of years, he would disappear. As he lay there feeling sorry for himself, he wondered how long he would have to be gone, before someone wondered why he left? For the time being, he was there. The last place anyone would think to find him. He just hoped that his father, the one named Jake - didn't suddenly show up and find him there. He didn't want to be found. He lay there with his arm across his eyes, and finally with a sniff, exhaustion won the battle with his troubled thoughts and he was out.
Chapter 158
"Ohhh, how beautiful! I feel so bad, you guys didn't have to bring me flowers! I'm okay." Sylvia gushed as Gert, Vivian and Bart walked in with flowers for her, Shanna was carrying a plant. Shawn had been sitting by her bed playing cards with her. It was to be the last game before he went home. There was so much to be done, Sylvia insisted that he go, when it seemed he was making no effort to leave her.
"That's okay, we brought them anyway. Seems to us, you're needin' a little attention are you?" Gert asked.
Sylvia made an unhappy face, "I didn't do it on purpose! As I promised the doctor and as I have promised repeatedly to my husband, your son, it was an accident, I simply forgot to eat. It will not happen again."
"You better believe it won't, I'll be making sure of it!" Shanna declared loud and clear.
Shawn smiled at his wife in satisfaction as he stood so his mother could sit in the chair next to her bed. "My wife has been trying to secretly diet I'm afraid." Shawn announced to the room at general.
"SHAWN!!! I have not!" Sylvia cried out.
"Oh no you have not been young lady!" Gert scolded.
"Gert - I have not been secretly trying to diet... Shawn is exaggerating!"
"Did you not tell me just an hour or so ago that you'd put on 12 pounds since we met?" Shawn asked to draw out what he felt was a truth.
"I have Shawn! But I wasn't trying to diet! I just don't wish to gain much more."
"Honey now you know, you're going to at least put on 15 to 20 more being pregnant with this baby... ain't no way to avoid that." Gert stated.
Sylvia leaned back in the bed whimpering in frustration, Shawn had deliberately used something she told him to make it out like she was trying to lose weight, she'd only mentioned it because it was true. They were talking about what she would be eating and not be eating. She would be eating healthy... and in moderate amounts, but not the way that Shawn was talking about feeding her, which is what made her state that she'd already gained 12 pounds since knowing him, and wasn't about to gain any more unnecessary weight.
"You all just leave her alone, you're gettin' on her nerves." Bart put it all to a stop. "How's your head darlin'?" He asked instead.
"It's fine... it looks worse than it was-..."
"I beg your pardon! I left a pool of blood on the bathroom floor this big!" Shawn held his hands out in a huge circular gesture, exaggerating again.
"Shawn you aught'ah stop! It was not that much!"
"How would you know, you were unconscious! And still bleeding when we pulled up here! And she's got eight stitches!"
Sylvia just decided not to say another word, he was determined to paint the picture more graphic than it was. She was laying back on her pillow, rolled her head from looking at her husband to looking at her mother-in-law, "Can you please take him home with you, I've had enough now."
Gert and Bart started laughing, as did Shanna. Vivian poked out her bottom lip, feeling sorry for Shawn, who narrowed his eyes at his wife.
"Fine - I'll leave with them! Grouchy ass woman!"
"Aye - son ... you don't talk to your wife like that! I've taught you better." Bart corrected him right away.
Sylvia grinned and then made a sad face, and sounded so pitiful when she said, "He's been fussing at me all day. Every since this morning. I can't even get no rest." She added sniff for good measure.
"Not to worry young darlin', he'll be leavin' with us, that way you can rest up real nice while you're in here. They'll take good care of you."
Vivian couldn't help but laugh at her, she was playing Bart like a pro. Shawn was fighting back a grin too, he couldn't wait to get her alone, she glanced at him with a slick smile of satisfaction and then looked up at Vivian. "Hey baby girl! You all right?"
Vivian bent down and kissed her forehead, leaning close she said, "Don't worry about me, you okay?"
"I'm fine - I couldn't be better."
"Yeah you could - if you would eat now and then." Shawn slid in. Sylvia turned her
head on her pillow to Bart, "See how he is? He been like that since this morning. He stressin' me out papa Bart - please don't forget'em when ya'll leave."
Shawn crossed his arms over his chest, which was puffed out defiantly, as if to say, he may or may-not leave.
"Shawn leave her alone already!" Gert scolded him mildly, and then back to Sylvia, "I talked to your mama the other night, I invited her and your father to stay at the farm house with us, she said they'd be happy to stay. We're really looking forward to their visit."
"My mama said that?" Sylvia asked surprised.
"Sure did... we can't wait to meet them."
As Sylvia spoke with them, from Vivian, to Shanna and then back to his parents, Shawn had his eyes on Vivian and her hair. "Hey you, Vivian... what'd you do to your hair?" He asked.
She stepped away from the bed to let Sylvia carry on with Bart and Gert to answer Shawn as she stepped closer to him, her hand going to it to check and smooth, "I had Sheila press it, why?"
"That's not permanent is it?"
"No... just a hot comb, why?"
"Phew!" He blew in relief, "Just checking. So you can get your afro back right?"
"A shampoo'll do it."
"Great... because that's how I want to capture you. Your afro is your crowning glory - I think it is stunning, whatever you do... never get rid of it."
Vivian smiled, "Ohhh, thank you. Yeah, I just had her give me a press for the weekend."
"How long you staying?"
"Emmm, maybe until Monday."
"If I set things up, mind doing a shoot?"
"With my hair like this?" She pointed at it.
"No! I want the afro."
"Sorry... not this weekend then. I'm keeping it straight through to Monday. But we can work something out for later after I wash it."
"Okay... I guess I'll have to wait. Have you seen Jake yet?"
"Yes!" She smiled huge.
Shawn chuckled, "Something tells me from the look on your face it was a nice visit?"
"Ye-e-es. Very nice - we are now ... according to him ... officially courting."
"Whoooa! You hear this Sylvia?!" Shawn called interrupting what she was telling Gert, about what the doctor had stated, making her turn towards them to see what he'd suddenly gotten so excited about.
"What? What's going on?"
"They... Vivian and Jake... are officially courting." He announced.
"Oh you didn't tell me that, baby girl!" Sylvia smiled, happy for her.
Vivian blushed to have everyone's eyes on her. "It's no big deal -..."
"HA! You should have seen the way she was looking at him just an hour ago at the house! No big deal my foot!" Shanna corrected cheerfully.
Sylvia laughed and turned to Shanna, "Was she all googly eyed?! In another world wasn't she?!"
"You should'ah seen her!"
"Papa Bart - tell'em t'leave me alone now!" Vivian asked for help.
"Leave her be you two. Shanna, let's get moving here. And you young darlin'... get you some rest ... you hear?"
Sylvia smiled and nodded.
"Gert - let's go. Shawn, kiss her goodbye." Bart laid it out as he walked up next to Vivian.
Shawn wasn't happy about leaving, but he had little choice now that she'd gotten his father on him, he walked to her bed, waiting on his mom to finish hugging and kissing her goodbye, to soon replace her. Bart, Vivian, Shanna and his mom had moved to the door.
"I'll come back later to visit you okay?"
"Shawn... I'm fine, that's not necessary. You've been here all day since this morning. Go home and get something done there."
He was leaning with his face close to hers. "Okay... I'll go ... but ... I don't like leaving you here." He whispered.
Sylvia smiled, "I'll be fine. I'm just going to lay here, watch some TV, read a little, eat ... and chill."
"I love you." He whispered and kissed her cheek, then her lips.
"I love you too honey... see you later."
"Can I at least call you?" He asked.
Sylvia laughed, "Yes, please do."
He stood away from her, she turned towards his family and Vivian, "I'll be home tomorrow." She waved to them.
"You get some rest!" They all stated in their own way, Shawn was the last out the door, looking back at her.
"You sure you don't want me to come back later? I wouldn't mind." He tried one last time.
Sylvia smiled, "If you feel that you absolutely have to Shawn... but if you can't, call."
Back at the house, Shawn changed into some work clothes with the intent of helping Jake and Mundo, however, whatever needed to be done that day, was completed. The posts needed time to dry and harden into place before they began adding the frame and decking. Mundo showered and was heading out the door. Jake was showering, and would be phoning Vivian soon, and Shawn was left with Angela and a nagging that something else was to be done that day, he just couldn't remember what until Crystal brought the boys over to eat dinner.
"Your anger management meeting was today!" He pointed out to her.
"OUR anger management meeting was today. I'm not going alone, you promised to go with me."
"Crystal! You need to go."
"I don't have anyone to keep the boys."
"Angela and I are here."
"Well... I'm not going with my face like this. I'll go next week."
"You shouldn't be missing lil'mo." Shawn stated as he set out the chicken he picked up from KFC's for dinner. He wasn't in the mood to cook, and so stopped on the way home and picked that up.
"Well... you'll be missing too. You're supposed to be going with me... big'mo'!"
"Next week for sure." He announced.
"Long as you're going with me." She returned.
"Heard anything from Victor?" Shawn asked sitting at the table as the two of them fixed Darren's and Isaac's plate; with Angela fixing her own. "Nope. Not a word, not a call."
"Dad can I call mom after dinner?"
"Sure you can pum'kin ... you don't have to ask that." Shawn replied.
They could hear that Jake was out of the shower upstairs, he was singing. They both looked at each other and smiled, he was getting ready to go and see Vivian at his parents house.
Jake sat on the bed in his room, just a towel wrapped around his waist. He reached for his phone on the side table, clicked it on and down arrowed until he saw her name, and then smiled. Click the phone dialling button and sat back against the headboard of the bed.
"Yes Mr. McPherson?" She answered, knowing already who it was, she'd made sure to program his new number into her own phone.
"What do you have planned tonight?" He asked low and sexy. Vivian was sitting on the front porch steps sipping Lemonade. Gert and Bart were gone into town to get their evening ice cream. They had a tradition of going every night to the drive thru for ice cream. Because she knew that Jake would be coming by or calling she begged off.
"Nothing so far, what have you on your mind?" She asked.
He chuckled, "You should know better than to ask me something like that. I thought you knew me by now."
"Oh yeah I know you Mr. McPherson, Mr. Hammer-man!"
"Hey! You quite reading that stuff on my walls! I can't believe my mother put you up in my old room!"
"Yes well, too late to worry about that now, I've done plenty of reading."
"Careful, some of that reading is not for lil'girls."
"Too late, thanks to you and your high school escapades, I am now beyond the shock stages."
Jake laughed on the other end of the line, "I assure you, I am completely innocent. I was a harmless young lad, pursued by older women, they are the cause of my complete ruination. I tried to hang on to my virginity with all my moral might-..."
Vivian's bark of laughter cut him off.
"Excuse me? Are you laughing at me? Have I told a joke? What is so funny?"
It took Vivian a few moments to stop laughing, "Let your mama tell it, you were done with your virginity t
he first opportunity you got."
"Don't listen to her! Nothing she says is true! She's telling you false tails ... I tell you, I'm completely innocent."
"And most certainly, I believe its true, um hm." She chuckled some more.
"What would you like to do tonight?" He asked.
"You know what I've been wanting to do for weeks now? Go to the movies, there's a new movie out, Van Helsing - with Hugh Jackman - I've been dying to see it."
"A movie?"
"Yeah... a movie."
"At the theater?"
"Last I heard, some places its called a Cinema."
"Surely you're kidding?"
"I'm serious as a heart attack. Don't you like going to the movies?"
"I haven't been to a movie at a theater in... oh my goodness, let me think... oh wow - I'm thinking in high school - I believe I took this girl name Trudie something of the other to see Return of the Dead, we sat way in the back and I - echm echm - anyway... uh - its been a while!" He recovered remembering that long ago trip to the movies and what they did in it, way in the back of the theater.
"Em hm! I can just imagine what you did way in the back! Anyway, that's what I'd like to do, see a movie."
"Okay lil'girl. I best get dressed then, you'll have to check around to find out where its playing."
"Your parents don't have a computer here, or else I could check online, can you find out there? Doesn't Shawn and Sylvia have a computer?"
"While I'm getting dressed, I'll have them check it out for me. See you in a bit."
"Okay... see you when you get here."
They stood in line waiting to get in, it just so happened that Van Helsing was still playing. Vivian was excited to see it, Hugh Jackman was one of her favorite actors. She believed she'd mentioned him one time too many to Jake, because he was sulking in a funny kind of way.
Jake wasn't sulking, he was trying to keep his head on straight. Arriving to pick her up for the movies, had blown him away. Her hair was down to her shoulders, cupped at the ends, laying soft, dark and shiny. He couldn't make up his mind which way he liked her better, with her afro or with it straight. One thing for certain, either way - she was breathtaking to look at. She didn't usually wear make-up because she simply didn't need it. Tonight, she wore just enough to make him weak in the knees. She was wearing a cream colored Oriental silk dress that fit her curves like a glove, to her knees and high heels. Her hair was full with tons of body, bounce and movement and she smelled so good, he was constantly fighting back an erection. Jake kept shaking off the visual imagine of unbuttoning that dress to see what she wore beneath it. He kept imagining her flat, dark belly and how he'd like to be kissing it right now.
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