by E. S Hoy
“I didn’t breast feed no it was too late when we got him” I stared at her as her words sank in, her hand shot to her mouth “Oh God did I just say that? Leah you mustn’t say anything about that, Victor will destroy me. Oh how stupid I could ruin everything” Alexandra was pacing around working herself into a frenzy
“Alexandra what is the problem? I won’t write anything you forbid me to say. Anything you say to me can be added or removed at your say so. Why would Victor be angry plenty of people adopt children? I am assuming that is what you are saying?” She shook her head then sank on to the bed beside me.
“Victor had found a surrogate mother to have his baby, his sperm her egg. She was desperate for money and he when he found her it was the best news I ever had. She agreed to give the boy up once Victor had paid her, but Victor insisted she breast feed him for three months first. He was so selfless making sure Dimtri had the best start in life. We didn’t get to meet him until the day he fetched him home. He was so beautiful, such a happy boy he fitted in perfectly. I didn’t put him down for two years. We were so happy” I was disappointed the tale wasn’t more sordid, it sounded quite straight forward apart from the length of time he left the child with his birth mother.
“Dimitri doesn’t know any of this, nobody does Leah, and you must keep it to yourself, if Victor knew he would be furious. I would hate to think how he would handle it; I couldn’t guarantee your safety of that I am sure.” I shivered I was sure she was right and actually now I wished I had never found out. We kept the conversation simple until Adam returned. Alexandra was still visibly shaken by her slip of the tongue.
“Promise me Leah” I nodded giving her my word, as she left I suddenly felt tired, maybe Adam was right I wasn’t myself yet. I slept for a couple of hours. A delicious aroma stirred me from my sleep; I sniffed hard then sat up mmm Margaret’s stew. Grabbing my robe I limped out to the kitchen my stomach growling.
I expected to find Adam stirring a pot so when I saw Ray with him I was not only shocked but thrilled. He pulled me into an embrace that warmed me to my toes
“Well young lady what a week you have had. Adam has aged ten years since last weekend, I take it you have been house bound all week” I nodded pulling a sulky face “No complaining now you are lucky he didn’t lock you in your room, my heart stopped when he called me, Margaret has sent a month’s supply of frozen stew. One of which is cooking as we speak. I also have some news for you, a bench has been sourced and I have for you written permission from Salford council to put it anywhere along the canal you choose” I withered inwardly the canal was no longer a place I would find peaceful after the attack and I could see Adam and Ray had guessed as much. “I thought we could take a drive around and look at alternatives in the morning, the council have assigned someone to fix it into the ground wherever we decide. The plaque can be done at your leisure, I have the engraver poised and ready whenever you are.” There was a lot to think about I excused myself to have a shower and get dressed properly before dinner. Ray was staying in Lucy’s room so we had most of the weekend to decide.
The more I thought the harder it became, by the time I had my shorts and t shirt on though I had made up my mind. I walked into the lounge determined I had made the correct choice. Dinner was ready so we sat at the kitchen table to eat, my appetite had been average since the attack this was just the thing to perk it up again.
Two helpings later I relaxed in my chair, both men looking very pleased with themselves at my clean bowl. We sat talking for a while then I told them my decision.
“Ray I have decided I want the bench to go on the spot I was attacked” They both stared at me shocked and possibly a little awed. “I have been a survivor since my life began, I lay on my mother while she died” Adam reached out to hold my hand his face echoing my pain “Nobody will knock me down, because if they do I always get up, I fight on. Putting my mum’s bench there means it will get used. All those people who looked after me after the attack can use it too so it will be a small thank you for them.”
Adam had sent flowers and money to some of the people who had looked after me; I was a local celebrity now so I knew that they would all support my decision. I had removed a local thug from their midst and they were all a lot better off because of it. I wondered if they would come and watch the bench arriving. I would knock on some doors and invite them; I wanted it to be a community event small though it was. I also wanted to thank them personally for their kindness, let them see I was okay now.
They both looked at me I could see they kind of wanted to object but also understood my reasoning.
“Will you not feel odd going there to be close to your mum ,somewhere you felt violated” I closed my eyes against the stifling feeling that sometimes threatened to overpower me;
“I will be taking the control back, don’t you see I will turn a place that made me feel fear into a place I seek solace. Hopefully one will cancel out the other, and hopefully it will be the positive that wins” Adam came round to me lifting me to my feet
“My brave wonderful girl, so strong and so wise. I am so very proud of you at this moment” I basked in his praise Ray was quick to add his agreement. So it was all set tomorrow we would have the bench put in place, the plaque would be added later. The plaque was something that required a lot of thought.
I had an unsettled night’s sleep waking in cold sweats; one dream was so real I was almost sick again. Adam held me for the third time that night
“Leah are you sure this is the right decision, it is obviously stirring it all up just the thought of being back there, going there tomorrow could be too much for you.” I understood where he was coming from but was adamant
“Don’t you see this goes to prove why I need to do this, taking the fear and switching it around? If a place can terrify me I need to make sure I remove the fear, this is the only way I can think of to do that.” I clung to his chest and for the first time this week I felt the stirring of my libido, it took me by surprise and I gasped
“What is it what’s wrong Leah” I giggled
“Something just stirred inside me and it wasn’t my dinner” I took his hand and placed it on my breast “my libido has come back from her five day sulk, I think she may be a little over eager”
Adam smiled and nuzzled into my neck moulding my breast into his hand
“Well I am glad she came back I missed her” he turned me around and I tugged his hair bringing his mouth to mine. My libido spent the next hour or so getting a weeks’ worth of satisfaction all in the one night.
“Mmm Adam that was amazing I love you. And so does my libido” he didn’t answer, I turned over to look at him, he was out cold. I giggled to myself obviously he couldn’t handle the both of us we had finished him off. I felt relaxed for the first time this week and slept the rest of the night dream free. Tomorrow was going to be tough, worth every minute but very tough.
Chapter 20
Trepidation filled me as the car pulled up at the top of the embankment; I was frozen in the car. Why was I thinking this was a good idea, I was shaking so hard and I wasn’t out of the car yet? Adam looked over at me Ray was in the front with him
“Leah stay in the car while I round up the people who were there that day “As he was about to get out I saw doors opening and I recognised the lady who first saw me with her dog. Behind her coming out of next door was the one who gave me a blanket. A tall lady walked out from the opposite building, she had made me a cup of tea. And the two men who made the citizen’s arrest walked up from the canal. A lump formed in my throat, the sight of them gave me the strength I needed. Removing all thoughts of Steven Baker I stepped nervously out of the car Adam came round to hold my arm.
Then I was surrounded by well wishes, hugs tears and bravo’s it was truly overwhelming. We were treated to freshly baked cakes and Mrs Robinson, who had made me that much needed cup of tea, had brewed up again but this time for everyone. I felt comfortable and I felt welcome. My rescuer was holding m
y hand tight
“When I saw you crawling up the hill that evening my heart nearly exploded. When I saw the damage to your knee I couldn’t even begin to work out what had happened. I thought you had been in a hit and run, makes me shudder when I think of what could have happened to you. So brave you were” I gave her hand a grateful squeeze and then my eyes welled up as I saw my mum’s bench being removed from the van, it was perfect.
The reporter had arrived. Gordon had sent one of our best! He wanted the story to be front page news. Local feel good story, his heroine Reporter fighting off a rapist, bravely returning to the scene of the crime. He would mention my mum’s bench and why it was important. Who knows maybe someone would come forward who knew Selina. Maybe someone would have new information. Adam wasn’t sure about that part, but with Rays backing I had won him around.
The bench was carried down the hill and we set too clearing the ground, Adam and Ray had brought spades and helped the man from the council dig the holes for the cement. The bench would be unmovable once it dried. There was no going back now I watched as it was put in place our small audience clapped. The photographer arranged us all around the bench and Dan our reporter took down quotes from everyone.
He sat down with me on the grass after everyone had dispersed.
“How much do you want me to say about your mum Leah? I don’t want to offend you but some of her past may not relate well to the locals.” I could see his point
“Just her name and that she had been murdered locally. Maybe mention that no one was ever caught or tried for the murder? Say that I had been so young I never got to bury her; this is my place to go in her memory. Somewhere along those lines will be fine do you think?” Dan agreed and took a few quotes from me.
We said farewell to all my new friends, they promised to keep watch over the bench for me. Mrs Robinson was going to create a garden around it, for everyone to enjoy which I thought was a wonderful idea. Adam gave her some money to pay for the plants and her labour, she didn’t want to take it but we insisted. I was looking forward to returning with the plaque, I knew I was going to enjoy coming here now. It had been the right choice, and I was determined to return many times.
We were due at the football ground in two hours, Ray went back to the flat he was not a footie fan! We unfortunately ended up sat in streams of United and City traffic jams. Luckily as we were VIP guests we could be dropped directly outside the stadium. After an hour travelling two miles, we finally arrived. Adam wanted to clean up as he was a little muddy after our gardening stint. I waited outside the bathrooms for him, I heard someone calling me, it was Alexandra;
“Leah I’ve been waiting for you, Dimitri was worried you wouldn’t be well enough to come. I have sent a message to him, he is thrilled. He is starting the game on the bench but the manager has promised he will get on the pitch today” Alexandra was very much the proud mother today and I couldn’t blame her. “How did your morning go, Adam explained what was happening, we hoped you would feel up to coming after going back there. You are so much stronger than I would have been, I do admire that” I replied honestly
“Don’t get me wrong my knees were knocking before I even got out of the car. You should have seen them though, all the people who helped me after the attack. As we arrived they came out to meet me, it gave me the motivation I needed and made me feel empowered. I found the whole experience really moving. You can read about it tomorrow, it’s going to be in the paper” Alexandra smiled
“I will Leah” At that minute Adam appeared from the bathroom “Adam Hello lovely to see you again” They kissed both cheeks “Follow me I will take you to our box, Victor will be wondering where I’ve got to” I frowned to myself, yes I bet he will be.
We climbed the stairs to the upper levels; the crowds were beginning to fill up the stands now despite the hour to go before kick-off. We were going to be served food before the match; I was glad as I was just starting to feel a little bit hungry. I was also very excited for the game, as a City fan it would be very hard not to cheer for the wrong team today, especially if they scored a goal.
I had always wanted to watch a game from a box, obviously at a different stadium but it was still exciting for me. Victor was in there waiting for us with Boris and Peter his two long serving security guards, Victor walked over to shake Adam’s hand warmly. I stood in awe looking around me, there was a dining table and bar in the room but I was staring at the glass doors that overlooked the pitch; Victor was smiling as he patted me on the back
“Welcome to our box Leah, good view from here isn’t it? Come out to the balcony you can see more” Victor opened the sliding doors and led me outside. Wow the view was spectacular; I could feel the buzz in the stadium even though it was only half full.
“It’s amazing, I can’t wait to watch the game” Victor smiled warmly at me, he seemed very relaxed today
“I was sorry to hear about your attack Leah” I stiffened wondering what he was going to say “I hear you put a memorial bench there this morning, I didn’t know your mother had died, how old were you?” I never liked delving into my past with strangers so I gave the most minimal answer I could without being rude.
“She died when I was little; I never had a father so her body was cremated by the council. I wanted a place to honour her memory that is all” Victor looked curious, I think he was about to ask deeper questions when fortunately Adam called us in for food.
We had a lovely selection of sandwiches, nibbles and salads. Apparently you could have a more formal three course meal, but Alexandra thought we would prefer something lighter. She was spot on of course. I tucked into a couple of sandwiches, the white wine they were serving was a delicious Chablis, it was crisp cold and fruity. Adam stood beside my with his arm around my waist
“How are you feeling Leah? Be honest. I saw you wincing as you climbed the stairs is your knee troubling you?” I did feel it twinging but as long as I kept my weight off it I could manage “It’s not too bad as long as I don’t jump about. I will sit to watch the game, the chairs out on the balcony look comfy enough” He nodded but was still frowning “What is it Adam?”
“You know me I worry too much, but you do look pale now. I am concerned this is going to wipe you out. I am only coping with it because tomorrow is Sunday, and I can tie you to the bed all day If I need to” My heart raced as I caught a glint of desire in his eyes, my libido was smiling too. I felt the tell-tale clenching and my breasts swelled with heat. I stepped closer automatically and felt my hip brush his crotch “Careful Leah, I may have to find a quiet corner if you don’t behave” I gave him a sly look bit my lip and sipped my wine seductively. It was like we were in our own little world, just focusing on our tiny human reactions to the desire that was growing between us.
“Adam, Leah more wine you two? You look a little flushed Leah do you need to sit down?” I giggled as our bubble burst. I stepped away as Adam bent down to whisper in my ear
“We will continue this later” I nodded and went to sit with Alexandra; my knee was beginning to throb a little. Victor had opened the doors again, we could hear the volume of crowd noise increasing. I had eaten as much as I wanted to, so followed Alexandra to the chairs outside. The charge of energy around the ground was electrifying, I felt my heart rate quicken with adrenalin.
“I can’t believe you enjoy football Leah” Alexandra was staring and I hadn’t noticed “Your face is glowing, I have to confess despite watching all of Dimitri’s games I have never understood it or particularly enjoyed it” she whispered that bit, it made me smile she really was the devoted mother. A text arrived on my phone, so I turned the sound off as I read the message. It was from Dimitri, he was so pleased Adam and I were here, he promised he would try and score for us. He would dedicate the goal to his fan of the other team this made me smile. Dimitri was really a sweet boy.
The players were kicking the ball around to warm up; I was thrilled to see Joe Hart our England Goal keeper was starting for us. I was sudde
nly a celebrity geek checking off all the players I recognised; I would love their autograph’s eek how sad.
The introduction music started and the crowd raised their voices in song, each half of the city trying to out sing the other. My face was fixed into a stupid grin for the whole first half of the match. No sign of Dimitri yet but it was end to end stuff, I was on the edge of my seat. Adam had come to stand behind me, he was a Chelsea fan so not really bothered about the outcome of this game.
Half time arrived and the excitement had almost wiped me out, just time for a glass of wine and quick trip to the private toilets we had here. The players came out of the tunnels and Dimitri was on, Alexandra suddenly sat bolt upright. Victor was standing right at the edge of the box proudly watching his son march onto the pitch. The game quickly became heated and there were a few dirty tackles, Alexandra screeched at a particular nasty one from our player on Dimitri. It was still goal less with ten minutes to go when Rooney made a wonderful pass to Dimitri who volleyed the ball right into the top right corner. Our whole box erupted including me as Dimitri slid along the ground with all his team mates piling on top of him to celebrate.
I have to confess to being just as happy as the rest, Dimitri was a really good player but damn he had stolen my team’s moment of glory. The match was over and we were all getting ready to make a move. Boris was clearing glasses; he leant across me to retrieve mine as he caught my eye he smiled. The world stopped and my air ways closed. I was instantly taken back to the car, waiting for my mummy when the man had leaned in and took Jake; he looked at me surprised then smiled. Oh My God it was the same man, Boris took my glass but looked confused by my reaction.
“Leah you have gone white are you okay?” Adam heard Alexandra and bent down in front of me
“Jesus you have gone white, breathe Leah come on” I could only hear white noise, everyone was crowding around me and suddenly I felt panic, I couldn’t breathe at all the stifling feeling was completely taking over my body and I felt myself fading. Strong arms lifted me and I felt myself being carried down stairs and out into fresh air. I gasped trying to suck in as much clear air as I could, the car pulled up and Adam placed me gently on the back seat