by Simply BWWM
“What, make a baby? I hope not,” Ian said, causing both of them to laugh. He pulled her in close, brushing her small curls and baby hairs from her face, kissing the top of her head. “You smell so good,” he told Sasha, that being one of her most favorite compliments of all time.
“You feel so good,” she told him.
“We didn’t, you know, hurt the baby or anything, right?” he asked.
“I think we’re good,” she told him, honestly not sure what the protocol was but knowing that they were likely fine. He squeezed her again and kissed her head once more, Sasha feeling so warm against his smooth skin.
“What is our poor child going to look like?” Sasha asked, really clueless as to what genetics their baby could possibly come out with. She had brown skin, black hair, and brown eyes. He had white skin, green eyes, and red hair. What was that going to look like on their unborn baby?
“Whatever they look like, I hope they look like you,” he said sweetly. She kissed his chest again, drifting off even though it was only approaching lunch. She didn’t care what time it was. She didn’t want to be anywhere else other than lying on his chest, hearing every beat of his heart.
Chapter12
Sasha and Ian had been getting along perfectly for the past week. They made love every night, tickling, teasing, playing, and joking with each other in bed. They hadn’t told each other “the L word” yet, but Sasha did think she was falling in love with him. They talked about what it was going to be like to be parents, things they wished their parents would have done for them, and things they know they never want to teach their child.
Sasha felt so comfortable knowing that they were on the same page with many things. She felt like when he was talking, he was gauging her reaction, really wanting her attention. She felt understood and listened to by him, and Ian was always engaging with her conversations, taking them in new directions.
She was able to be alone with him in a quiet room without feeling anxious, a sign she took that they could really be comfortable together. It had been a while since she met someone who was that easy to talk to with knowing so little about each other. She loved everything she learned about him, feeling like their connection was real, and not just something they were faking because of the money involved.
Still, Sasha had her fair share of fears and anxieties, definitely keeping her heart guarded and not diving in too deep with Ian. She didn’t want to end up broken-hearted, pregnant, and alone. She could certainly handle it but would rather have someone there with her throughout the pregnancy.
He didn’t have a job that he went to every day, instead only working with different charities at the moment. Because of this, he was around the house a lot, giving him and Sasha plenty of time to get to know each other. She felt like she was living inside a fantasy. She never had to cook, and her meals were delicious, not just microwaved dishes. Sasha would find her clothes clean and in the drawer again, the same day that she had dirtied them. It felt like she was on vacation, and she hoped that it would never end.
Sasha finally had her first moment in the house completely alone. The chefs had the day off, and there weren’t any cleaners coming until the next day. Ian was helping to set up for his father’s charity dinner that was taking place later that night. The first thing she did was run from one end of the hallway to the next. She had wanted to see how fast she could do it ever since she had moved in.
She always worried that the staff and Ian might think she was completely insane if she did that, however. Part of her also wanted to slide down the curved railing of the staircase, but her unborn child, still in the developmental phase, stopped that from happening. If she was still there after she had the baby, that would be the first thing she wanted to try.
Sasha had started drawing sketches again in the past week, getting inspired by her growing body to create new designs. She was a small girl but still had some curves, so though her stomach wasn’t as flat as it used to be, it blended with the rest of her body. Still, she often imagined what it was going to be like in a few months when her belly was bigger than her head.
What would she wear? The possibilities were inspiring Sasha, and she loved that she finally had the time and passion to explore them. After skipping around the house and exploring forbidden areas, she decided to make her way to the third guest bedroom where she had started to sort of set up an office.
It was cluttered with her pictures, and she had basically taken over the area. Ian accepted that this would likely become her workroom if that was what she desired. What Sasha really wanted to do more than anything in the house was set up the nursery; however, she still wasn’t sure where she and Ian were in their relationship. They had only agreed to an engagement until after the election was over, so did that mean she was going to be moving out? They were having a great time together, but it had only been a week, so how were either of them supposed to commit one way or another so early on?
Part of Sasha worried about who she might see at the dinner. She had gone on dates with several wealthy men. Philanthropists of all sorts were being invited, and at $35,000 a plate, she wondered if her ex, Peter, was going to be there. It had been less than six months since she had seen him last. It was crazy to break up with someone in that way.
When she was with her first boyfriend, she saw the breakup coming. They were moving away from each other and both had expressed interest in dating other people. She was prepared when they finally made the call together, and the mutual breakup wasn’t scarring at all for Sasha.
When it came to Peter, however, she felt so lost that she didn’t think she could date again. She had just believed one thing to be so true and certain. She really thought that she might marry him, fantasizing about their future life together. She loved Peter, but she was never fully in love.
She didn’t have that feeling, that undeniable pull toward a person without any logical reasoning. She felt that with Ian. Something about him made her feel like she had known him all her life. It was hard for her to think of life before she met him, and every time she saw his face after several hours without it, an unstoppable smile spread across her own. She wouldn’t trade that feeling for anything.
Sasha hoped that Peter wouldn’t be there. She didn’t know how she would feel if she made eye contact with him knowing that Ian’s baby was growing inside of her. That was a life she had thought they would share together. They had shared intimacy in bed too, but those moments meant so much less with Peter than they did with Ian. Still, it was hard to look back on a failed relationship. She never wanted to worry about seeing Ian somewhere out, wondering where it went wrong and wishing it hadn’t happened in the first place.
Sasha was too distracted thinking about her last boyfriend and her current boyfriend. She looked down at her stomach; she’d been studying it closely every day. There still wasn’t much there, but Ian had said he noticed there was a little bit of a bump popping out. Of course, they both knew exactly what was going on inside of her body, so they were looking for every sign possible that pointed to a baby bump. Sasha started to draw her figure when she was interrupted in the middle of her sketch.
Sasha heard the doorbell ring, startled and slightly afraid of who could be at the door. Normally a maid or some other help would answer the door, but now that Sasha was alone, it was all up to her. It was the middle of the day, so it could be anyone. What would she do if it was someone trying to rob the mansion? A home invasion could occur in the middle of the day. Sasha loved the place she had been calling home the past several nights. However, she also felt like a big giant target every once in a while.
She peeked out the window by the front door, seeing Giselle standing there tapping her foot. She hadn’t seen her in person since before she moved out. They did most of their communicating through text, a lonely interaction that disappointed Sasha considering that they had gotten closer in the past few months they lived together. Sasha was relieved to see her, having been in desperate need of a female friend the
past few days.
“What are you doing here!” Sasha said excitedly, opening the door and letting Giselle inside.
“You are terrible at answering texts,” Giselle told Sasha, not even glancing around at the amazing mansion but instead looking right at Sasha.
“Um, I’ve been kind of busy, okay?” Sasha asked. “But you’re here now, so why not a tour?”
“I feel like I’m in like a museum. This is insane. This is all his house?” Giselle asked as they walked around the mansion.
“Yep. And he has an apartment downtown. I haven’t seen it yet because he said they’re doing construction,” Sasha told Giselle.
“Girl, construction?” Giselle said with a skeptical face.
“Yeah, he’s getting new floors,” Sasha told her.
“Yeah right! You probably haven’t been ’cause that’s where he takes his side girls,” Giselle teased with a bit of seriousness in her tone.
“Shut up, he’s not seeing anyone,” Sasha said, still leading Giselle on a non-descriptive tour. They didn’t say anything else as they walked back from the kitchen to the formal living room, both girls sitting down on couches opposite each other. Sasha thought about how just a month ago they were sharing a small couch, not afraid to get close under the blanket. It was strange how easily a friendship could change overnight.
“Sis, you got a hook up. Like, what?” Giselle said. “It’s like you won the client lottery.”
“I know, I feel like I’m in a dream,” Sasha explained.
“Well yeah, and that baby helped,” Giselle joked. Sasha didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want to argue and make her look defensive or guilty of what Giselle was accusing her of. Still, she didn’t like the thought of Giselle claiming that the baby growing inside of her was just a way to get with a man. Sasha just laughed along, not wanting to start any drama with her houseguest.
“Wait, what is that ice on your wifey finger?” Giselle asked, pointing to the massive diamond weighing down Sasha’s hand. Ian had finally picked up a diamond ring for her engagement prop, not knowing what kind to pick and only basing it on if they had her size available. It was pretty large, believable for a guy like Ian to buy it. Sasha wasn’t much of a jewelry girl and really only wore the ring, making the shiny bling stand out even more.
“Yeah, well, you know. We wanted to make it look legit,” Sasha explained. Giselle was the only other one who knew that the engagement was fake.
“You wear it even when you’re alone?” Giselle asked with a questionable tone, making Sasha feel a bit self-conscious about her choice to flaunt the diamond ring in the empty mansion.
“Well, I mean, it’s a gorgeous ring, wouldn’t I?” Sasha laughed.
“Ok that’s really true, you’re right, you’re right,” Giselle laughed. “But are you being careful? Not like sexually obviously ’cause you got that baby, but like, with your heart? I couldn’t stand to see you get hurt again.”
“Yeah… I mean, I’m still keeping my distance,” Sasha lied, not wanting Giselle to make her feel guilty about giving into temptation and hooking up with Ian. The only risk was getting her heart broken and it was worth it to Sasha, thinking about how good it felt to be with him.
“Oh my gosh, I almost forgot, I got you something,” Giselle said, handing over a present. “Just like an early congratulations kind of thing.”
“Oh Giselle, you didn’t have to,” Sasha said opening the box. It was a cotton onesie with a hood that had animal ears sewn on. “Oh Giselle, this is so cute. It’s so insanely small!”
“I know! I can’t believe you’re having something so small!” Giselle started to cry a bit, running over to Sasha. She set the box down on the coffee table and hugged Giselle.
“Thank you so much, Giselle!” she said, hugging her for a moment before breaking apart.
“I have to go. I’m meeting Frank, but… be careful, sis. This is happening fast,” Giselle said, waving her finger around the house. “Don’t get caught up, sis. Be real. Be true to yourself, okay?”
Giselle gave Sasha a quick hug before heading out the door. Sasha was glad to see her friend, having missed the company of another girl. Still, it felt cold seeing her for so brief a time and having Giselle question pretty much every aspect of her life.
She felt like everyone was being a bit harsh, but perhaps the reality was that Sasha was just a tad sensitive. Maybe it was the hormones or perhaps the inability to process everything at the same quick rate that it was unfolding in front of her. Either way, Giselle gave her quite the handful to consider when it came to the next life decision she had to make. Sasha walked back upstairs, wanting to take a quick nap again after her strange encounter with Giselle. She was always pretty tired since she had gotten pregnant. It wasn’t easy for her to move around much either.
“Hello! I’m home!” Ian shouted as the door opened once again. Sasha barely had a moment to herself in the house before someone else interrupted her thoughts. She had felt peaceful in the morning, but now she just wanted all this chaos to go away. She just needed a second to process her thoughts, having a lot of new things to consider today that she hadn’t thought of before. She walked into the bathroom and closed the door, pretending she didn’t hear Ian was home. She started the shower and sat on the edge of the separate tub next to the door.
“Sasha, you in there?” Ian asked, knocking on the other side. Ian was incredibly sweet, always checking on her and making sure that she felt good and satisfied. She enjoyed that someone was looking out for her, but at the same time, she was feeling a bit suffocated.
Sasha hesitated for a moment before responding with a quiet, “Yeah, I’m getting in the shower.” Sasha walked to the mirror and stripped out of her lounge clothes. She pushed her stomach out, making her look more pregnant. She could only hide for so long and looked forward to finally coming out and being free about the entire situation.
She looked at the dress she was wearing for the night and back at her naked body. She was loving watching it change and grow, but she was sad knowing she couldn’t share it with everybody. She wanted to post pictures and let everyone know what was happening. She had to be careful, however, as it was still too early to tell everyone. They needed to make it to the safe time and make sure they were clear of any major complications that would end a pregnancy early.
Sasha thought that if women could go their entire pregnancies without showing, Ian would likely never tell anyone. Maybe that was the way to do it, protecting her unborn child from the stress that would come along with the scrutiny of the pregnancy. At the same time, Sasha didn’t like that the person she already loved more than anyone else in the world, her child, was also her biggest secret. She just wanted to go to bed and not have to face all the wealthy people at the ball, but that wasn’t the best option. She had agreed to do something for Ian, and she always followed through.
In the shower, Sasha thought about everything Giselle had said, picking it apart to find some fault, wanting to prove that she was completely wrong. Unfortunately, Sasha did have a bad past experience that Giselle could use as a good example against her. She and Ian were having a good time, but what was next? Surely their bliss would fade, and reality would set in, right? Would they end up being the couple that argued in the department store? Or what if Giselle was right, and he took his other girlfriends to his secret apartment downtown? If that was the case, why would he even mention the apartment in the first place?
The water started to get cold on Sasha’s skin and she knew she had been in for too long. It was time to get out and face reality. On the upside, at least she could eat a delicious dinner and wear a fancy dress. There was always time for sleep once it was all over. Sasha knew that to be the most reliable truth she’d known.
*****
Sasha had trouble catching her breath once they walked into the gorgeous ballroom. There were tables draped in cloth, all with glowing candles softly illuminating the room. There were plenty of people, all dressed in stunning
gowns, but many of them were quiet. Sasha had never been anywhere quite so elegant in her life. She hoped that no one noticed she wasn’t a natural when it came to thousand dollar per plate charities.
She was wearing a sleeveless black gown that was tight at the waist but flowed out big so as to hide her stomach completely. She could probably get away with being in her third trimester in the dress, her baby bump still going unnoticed. There were feather-like pieces of fabric adorning the skirt and crystal beads creating an intricate pattern on the top. She had ordered several dresses online, trying them on to see which would be the best. Ian helped her pick out the one she was wearing, liking the way it made her curves look.
She went with a dramatic smoky-eye that night and red lipstick. It was a lot of makeup, but Sasha was feeling nervous and caking on the layers made her feel a little more confident. With her hair slicked back in a bun, she could get away with a lot of crazy styles, always looking like a model when she finished.
She spotted Ian’s father from across the room, his same bright red hair and tall figure an undeniable symbol. Their faces differed, and Sasha had trouble seeing either his mom or his dad in his overall structure. Still, the closer they got, and the better Sasha could hear his voice, the more undeniable it was that they were related.
“Dad, this is Sasha, my fiancé,” Ian told his father as he reached out his hand toward Sasha.
“I’ve heard a lot about you, even though I haven’t known about you very long!” Samuel said to Sasha as he shook her hand.
Sasha didn’t know how to respond and just giggled along. He was an intimidating man, but Sasha was more upset that he had to make a statement about how little they knew each other. It’s not like he was aware that was an issue for her, however, and she realized she was just being too sensitive again.
As Sasha watched the O’Shea family talk, she realized how similar they were. Samuel was a bit judgmental just as Samantha had been. Sasha wondered if it was from living with each other for so long or if it was because they fell in love for their similar personalities. She didn’t see that negativity in Ian, thankfully. She hadn’t known him that long, however, and started to worry that perhaps that might be a flaw that came out the more time they spent together. Sasha tried to not focus on that too much, instead trying to keep up appearances for the people wondering who the girl on Ian O’Shea’s arm was.