‘Damn!’ September snapped. ‘There’s not much time. Come on, we have to get inside.’
*****
‘In accordance with the articles of succession and the royal statutes pertaining to office of the Supreme Potentate of the Twelve Sun Systems of Gloth, it is my duty as President of the Grand Council to conduct the investiture of April Gregorian as our next Supreme Potentate. The powers entrusted to me have been handed down through the generations of our eternal history of Gloth and are living proof of the stability of our benefactorial system of governance we enjoy throughout our Twelve Sun Systems of Gloth and by all who inhabit them. With the passage of time……’
‘Who’s he?’ Sep whispered as they entered the Grand Hall.
‘He’s the Grand Council President, and he’s starting the investiture of the idiot April,’ September whispered.
‘He’s waffling on a lot.’
‘Luckily it’s a long procedure. So hopefully it’ll give your dimwit brothers time to disable the Dodecahedrons.’
‘But everything is going quite nicely,’ Sep whispered with a smile as he tilted his head towards the Lacertilian Guards lining the rear of the hall.’
‘Well I have much more faith in Lacertilians than I do in you and your brothers.’
‘That’s not fair September. We’ve all worked very hard for a very long time. Well, maybe except for Heptad. He gets a bit lazy from….’
‘Oh shut up Sep. I’ve got to concentrate on what we’re doing.’
‘Sorry I spoke,’ Sep said feeling offended.
‘Shhh!’
‘….. and throughout the remarkable history of Gloth it has been the duty of every Gregorian to serve the populations of Gloth and its Twelve Sun Systems,’ Kaybob Krizzle, The Puissant of Karhoonaa and President of the Grand Council said as he continued his long speech, then turned the page of his notes and continued, ignoring the occasional rumble of snoring from some in the audience who had already fallen asleep.
‘How long will he go on for?’ Sep asked.
‘The longer the better Sep. Now quiet,’ September hissed as he concentrated his attention on trying to put some names to some faces, or more correctly, backs of heads, as he scanned the most forward rows in the hall. He could see April squirming in his chair at the very front with his mother trying to keep him quiet as Kaybob Krizzle’s monotone voice was clearly not holding the young idiot’s attention. He could also clearly make out from the epaulets, the row of Glothic High Command officers. The High Commander notable by his more elaborate epaulets, sitting in the middle of some forty or more officers spread across the third row.
‘Will he know what to do?’ September thought to himself, knowing that the initial success of Ichor depended totally on the actions and orders of the High Commander in the first few minutes of mayhem that would follow September’s pronouncement. Even after thousands of years of preparation, waiting, patience and hope, September could feel the butterflies on the move in his stomach. Sep noticed September’s hand trembling.
‘Are you ok?’
‘Shut up Sep!’ September hissed but Sep didn’t reply. As much as September was a grumpy old man and had given Sep the heebie jeebies from the moment he had knocked on Sep’s elevator door, Sep knew all he had ever lived for was now up to September to complete. The moment was now not very far away as Kaybob Krizzle’s intonation was starting to fall at the end of his sentences indicating that his long introductory speech might be finally coming to an end.
Sep felt his Q’muniktor vibrate in his pocket. He took it out and read the message from Lieutenant Commander Stikkly Smikkle.
‘The Lacertilian passenger craft has docked. Transferring the Erdean passengers aboard. Will make them comfortable.’
Sep slipped his Q’muniktor back into his pocket. Extremely proud of himself in completing his little personal task successfully. He could now add four hundred and twenty-seven to his previous one success, in sending Hal back to Erde. Once Ichor had been completed and all the Gregorians and half blood Erdeans assembled in the Grand Hall had been rounded up and sent up to the Cosmic Cruiser, Gloth would finally be rid of the troublesome Erdean monkey gene forever. ‘What a great day,’ he thought.
‘…. as loyal servants of Gloth and its Twelve Sun Systems,’ Kaybob Krizzle said as he finally completed his introduction and got on with the matters at hand.
‘I therefore ask April Gregorian to rise and stand before us today and swear his oath.’
January rose, taking April by his hand and led him to the red-carpeted area in front of the rostrum. Ushers now making their way towards April to drape the Royal Cloak over his shoulders and place the Royal Orb in his hands.’
‘No! Go away!’ April shouted as two ushers endeavoured to place the cloak on April.
‘It’s all right April,’ January said trying to calm her son.
‘’No! No! No!’ April started screaming and then kicked one of the ushers in the shin. Restrained giggling from some members of the audience slowly manifesting itself into unrestrained laughter.
‘I don’t want to! Go away! Noooo!’ April yelled and seemed to be readying himself for a full-blown tantrum. His feet starting to stamp and his pallor taking on its familiar blue tint. January at his side attempting to pacify her son, unsuccessfully as usual. As April turned up the volume of his tantrum, January couldn’t help her nervous reflex action and absentmindedly started scratching her backside and right ear in unison, which served to increase the laughter from the audience. Many now wiping away tears from their eyes as they watched the performance.
Kcrikklli Kcaapaak watched on from his seat in the first row. Embarrassed, but also now coming to the understanding that January’s incessant scratching was a nervous disorder probably brought on by the stress of her son’s comportment. ‘I should’ve realised this before,’ he thought but then also realised he had better do something before matters got out of hand. He stood up slowly and walked over towards April. He bend down and whispered something in April’s ear. April putting an end to his tantrum within seconds and immediately beckoned for the ushers to fit his cloak. January looked on in amazement, as did the audience as Kcrikklli quietly returned to his seat.
‘That’s better April,’ January said quietly to her son as she stood beside him.
‘I don’t want to die in the garden mummy. Please, don’t let him kill me.’
‘Eh, um?’ was all January could say before Kaybob Krizzle started talking again.
‘Ushers. Please present April Gregorian with the Royal Orb.’
‘Now we’ll know if your brothers have succeeded,’ September whispered to Sep.
‘How?’
‘If they haven’t, the Dodecahedron next to the Grand Council President will change from its current static black state to pulsating blue, which means it’s still connected to the Dodecahedron beneath Rom via the repeater on Terranova Two and the idiot will be endowed with the Twelve Gregorian facets.’
‘Rom?’
‘It’s a city on Erde. Don’t you know any Glothic history? Rom, Popes, the Vatican?’
‘Maybe I need to brush up.’
‘The signal from Rom is sent via Terranova Two to here and then from the Dodecahedron next to the Grand Council President to the Orb. That’s how Gregorian power and wisdom is transferred.’
‘Oh yes, I remember we talked about that.’
‘Oh it doesn’t’ matter,’ September said.
‘So we don’t want pulsating blue then?’
‘Good work Sep, now shut up.’
Three ushers attended to April’s cloak as another usher took the Orb from the Grand Council President and started towards April. Sep noticed September had clasped his hands to stop them from trembling. It wasn’t succeeding. Sep felt the tension rising and noticed that he was beginning to tremble as well. With all the trembling that was going on, Sep didn’t feel his Q’muniktor vibrating away in his pocket. This was a pity really, because it was very important news that his
brother Heptahedra was trying to urgently send to him and September. Dire news in fact.
The Grand Hall went silent as the usher moved slowly towards April with the Royal Orb. Then once there, he handed it carefully and with all due pomp to April, who having never held the Royal Orb before and not knowing how heavy it was, promptly dropped it, and it landed heavily on January’s left foot. Her yelps of excruciating pain and hopping on one foot as she tried to relieve the agony now present in her foot had the audience laughing once more.
‘I’m sorry mummy. Really, I’m sorry,’ went unnoticed by all, which was a great shame because it was probably the very first time in April’s life that he had shown any sign of sympathy for another living creature.
It took some minutes for January to compose herself, and with the aid of the shoulder of one unlucky usher, she managed to resume an upright and non-hopping stance aside April. The usher in charge of the Royal Orb picked it up from the floor, and tried once more to complete the duty he had been charged with. This time taking great care to ensure April had a firm hold. As it was too heavy for April to hold with just his hands, the usher was finally satisfied when April had it hugged to his chest with both arms. A little awkward, but efficient given the circumstances. January deciding this time to allow a little safety distance from April.
Kaybob Krizzle, The Puissant of Karhoonaa and President of the Grand Council placed his left palm on the Dodecahedron in front of himself on the rostrum. It resembled a black pyramid with the top third cut off, and stood almost as high as the old man’s waist. It didn’t turn blue. He took his hand off and then replaced it again. Still no blue. He looked at the other High Councillors, who were surprised. Kaybob Krizzle wasn’t, as he knew this meant Ichor was now underway.
‘Just carry on,’ the councillor next to him advised in a whisper.
‘April Gregorian,’ he said in a booming voice that nearly had April drop the Royal Orb again in fright.
‘Eh, yes?’ April managed to say to everyone’s surprise.
‘I ask you sir to swear the oath of the Supreme Potentate and take your place as April the First, Supreme Potentate of the Twelve Sun Systems of Gloth.’
‘Do I have to?’ April asked January.
‘Yes April. Now raise your right hand like we practiced and make the salute.’
‘But I can’t mummy.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because I’ll drop this big heavy stick.’
‘That’s all right. I’ll hold one end of it for you,’ January said and as she held one end, April raised his right hand high, then tried to fold his middle fingers onto his palm as the salute required. He tried again. And again. But his two thumbs and six fingers on his right hand just wouldn’t cooperate. The best he could manage was a fist.
Sensing the problem, Kaybob Krizzle intervened.
‘That will be fine,’ he told April as he checked the Dodecahedron again. Still black. He looked at the Royal Orb in April and January’s hands. It was not pulsating in hues of blue as it should in the hands of a true Gregorian. It was time.
‘My dear ambassadors, councillors, ministers, delegates and members of the Gregorian Royal Family,’ Kaybob Krizzle said in a very serious tone of voice that gave the hint of some bad news. ‘I cannot continue with this investiture,’ he said and was met with gasps.
‘Ichor at last,’ Sep muttered to himself.
‘Now September?’ Sep asked.
‘Not just yet. Wait.’
‘The Dodecahedron does not recognise the boy standing in front of me as a true Gregorian,’ Kaybob Krizzle solemnly announced, and the audience hushed in shock.
‘No, this is not true. I protest!’ January started to scream.
‘Quiet!’ Krizzle ordered in the best booming and authoritative voice he could muster. ‘You my good women have brought an imposter before us. This boy is not the rightful Gregorian heir to the throne of the Supreme Potentate of the Twelve Sun Systems of Gloth.’
The assembled ambassadors, councillors, ministers, delegates and members of the Gregorian Royal Family sat in shocked silence.
‘Ichor!’ September shouted into the silence as he stood from his seat at the rear of the Grand Hall. ‘Ichor!’ he shouted again as he stepped forward and began to walk slowly down the red carpeted centre aisle. ‘Ichor!’ As he walked he could see from the look on Kaybob Krizzle’s face that he knew what came next. If September was in any doubt, Krizzle removed it instantly by raising his right hand, making a firm Glothic salute and shouted, ‘Ichor!’
From within the audience, at first one, then two, then twenty rose to their feet and made the Glothic salute and responded. ‘Ichor!’
With shouts of ‘Ichor!’ resonating around the Grand Hall, High Commander Huphnic Grundlestick gave an order to his deputy sitting beside him on his left. ‘Order the Gregorian Guard to advance immediately from their positions around the Grand Hall perimeter and secure all exit points from the Grand Hall. There are two squads of Lacertilian Guards out there and they are allies. Understand? No one is permitted to leave the Grand Hall.’
‘Yes sir. Understood.’
Grundlestick turned to the officer on his right. ‘Take the officer’s on your right and secure all exits from the Grand Hall.’
‘Yes sir,’ he replied, stood up and quietly passed the order down the row of officers. As he turned he noticed the ring of Lacertilian Guards at the rear of the hall. ‘There are Lacertilian Guards to the rear sir.’
‘Yes, I know. They are under my command. Now get moving!’
‘Yes sir.’
Sep stood quietly at the rear as he proudly watched September make his way slowly towards the front of the hall. He was now convinced that September was wrong about his brothers as Heptad and Heptahedra had obviously completed their tasks and disabled the Dodecahedron on Erde and the repeater on Terranova Two. He stood, then counted more than fifty hands raised in the air in salute. The Blood Brotherhood could at long last recognise each other. When the shouts of ‘Ichor’ subsided, Sep thought it was a perfectly good moment for him to join in and announce his own membership.
‘Ichor!’ he shouted and raised his right hand in salute.
‘At last,’ an old man sitting in the aisle seat of the rear row alongside Sep turned and said. ‘Welcome brother.’
‘Oh well, thank you,’ Sep said almost embarrassed by being referred to as a brother. ‘Ichor at last then hey,’ he said with a manner that he instantly decided sounded a little trite and decided to sound more serious next time the occasion arose.
September arrived at the front of the Grand Hall and stood alongside a pathetically sobbing January and April who was now in the firm grasp of Kcrikklli Kcaapaak.
‘Yes. Ichor,’ was all Kcaapaak said. September nodded his approval.
‘Do wish to address this meeting sir,’ Kaybob Krizzle asked September from his position on the rostrum.
‘If that be your wish my dear Grand Council President.’
‘Yes sir, it is my wish,’ Krizzle replied to stunned looks from some of his fellow High Councillors. September nodded and slowly proceeded to make his way by a small set of stairs to the right of the rostrum. Mutterings from some of the High Councillors greeted him but were silenced by Kaybob Krizzle. September stood beside Kaybob Krizzle, The Puissant of Karhoonaa and President of the Grand Council for some moments before beginning his address to the Grand Hall.
‘My dear ambassadors, councillors, ministers and delegates from the Twelve Sun Systems of Gloth,’ September started and politely omitted from his address any reference to members of the Gregorian Royal Family. ‘My name is September and I am the eldest son of the last true Glothic Supreme Potentate of Gloth, December the Ninth,’ and was met with applause from those in the audience who had previously saluted their allegiance to Ichor. ‘I come in front of you today, not to claim what was my birth right, but to right millions of years of wrong. Today my fellow Glothians, I ask you to return Gloth and the Twelve Sun Systems that i
t governs to the hands of a true Glothian. I ask you to end Erdean rule that has poisoned our benefactorial system of governance for so long.’
Sep paused as more applause sounded its agreement.
‘With your agreement my friends, I call on the President of the Grand Council to set aside this investiture and to meet with his fellow High Councillors to elect an interim Supreme Potentate who will oversee the return to the democratic election of our next Supreme Potentate.’
Kaybob Krizzle stood, and moved alongside September. ‘I will accept your motion sir with the mandatory seconder as is the protocol in such circumstances.’ With the raising of more than one hundred hands from the audience and a couple from his fellow High Councillors, Krizzle was very pleased, as he had no idea at all what to do in such a situation and had simply invented his proposal for a seconder.
‘I now call the Lacertilian Guard to their duty,’ September said in his best attempt at a military sounding voice as he raised his right hand. Enhanced luckily by the excellent acoustics the Grand Hall microphone and sound system, which gave an authoritative edge to his voice.
Within a few seconds, members of the Gregorian Royal Family began being herded by the Lacertilian Guard towards the front of the hall.
‘My dear President, if you would be so kind as to assist the Lacertilian Guards in identifying those amongst us who are tainted with the Erdean gene,’ September said quietly into Krizzle’s ear, well away from the microphone. Krizzle nodded his agreement as six Lacertilian Guards approached from September’s right. September stood tall, and proud. Ichor had commenced.
Sep looked on and around the crowd as the Lacertilian Guards herded the poison that was the Erdean gene pool towards the front of the hall. Some wailing, others complaining loudly, while others scratched their backsides and ears. He noticed January, lying on the floor kicking and screaming as two guards tried to pacify her. April now a small bundle of Gregorian humanity curled into a ball and crying his eyes out. Sep watched on as the man, who had held and pacified April so assuredly just moments before, walked away, then turned and looked back in absolute disgust. Then he focused on September. Standing tall and proud, yet seemingly aging by the second. Sep realising that September had told him the truth. Once Ichor arrived, September could happily die. On Gloth.
Septimity and The Blood Brotherhood: The Third Hilarious Glothic Tale (The Glothic Tales Book 3) Page 8