“Luke brought me. I’m coming back to New Horizons. He said Jessica invited me for Christmas.”
Sam glanced over his shoulder at Jessica, a question in his eyes. She smiled at him and rested her hand on his arm.
“I’m sorry, Sam. I should have warned you, but I wanted it to be a surprise.”
“A surprise? I’m totally . . . speechless.” Sam leaned down and gave Darrell a huge hug. “Come in, you guys. It’s cold out there.”
“That’s okay. I’ve got to run.” Luke grinned at Sam and slapped his arm. “You have fun. Just bring him back to the center this evening by nine. I should be there all day—call if you need anything.”
They said good-bye to Luke and went into the living room. Sam’s gaze was fixed on Darrell, Jessica noted, as if the boy were a mirage. Darrell stood wide-eyed, taking in all the decorations and holiday trimmings. He walked toward the tree, staring up at its ornament-laden branches.
“Like the tree, Darrell?” Sam asked. “We picked it ourselves at a tree farm.”
“You chopped that thing down? Like a lumberjacket or something?”
Jessica laughed at his observation. Sam was like a “lumberjacket” at times, wasn’t he?
“There’s a present under there for you, that big one in the back. See it?” Sam walked over to help him pull it out.
“There are a lot more, too, hidden in the closet upstairs,” Jessica said, thoroughly enjoying her role as Santa. “I’ll go up and get them. I just want to watch you open this one, though.”
Darrell glanced at Jessica. She could see that he found her new interest in him a bit confusing but not unwelcome. This time, he wasn’t resisting her attentions at all.
“Okay, here goes.” He tore at the gift, eagerly ripping off the paper and bow. “A snowboard! Awesome. It’s a real one, too. Look, Sam!”
“I see. It’s a beauty.” Sam smiled at Jessica, thanking her for finding a gift that pleased Darrell so much. He still looked stunned with delight to see Darrell here again. As happy as the night she had announced she was pregnant, Jessica realized. Yet the thought didn’t make her feel threatened or nervous. Instead, she felt she was just starting to understand what Darrell meant to Sam, what he meant to both of them.
Darrell brought the snowboard over to Sam, and they examined the bindings together. “Too bad the snow isn’t deep enough right now,” Sam said. “I wish we could test it out.”
“Yeah, me, too.”
“Maybe we can drive somewhere tomorrow—to a ski run or something.”
“Could we really?” Darrell asked.
“Sure.” Sam looked at Jessica. “What do you think?”
“That’s okay with me. Darrell doesn’t have any classes for the next few days, I understand. There’s a lot of fun things we can do.” She paused and smiled, then slung her arm around Darrell’s shoulder. “But why go all the way to a ski lodge? There’s always the front stairs.”
Sam and Darrell stared at her a moment. She shrugged and laughed, and finally they did, too. That was a good feeling, she thought. Maybe they had a long way to go, but this time she really felt hopeful.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
JAMES RAN UP THE PATH AND PULLED OPEN THE SIDE DOOR to the church. A few members of the congregation who had arrived early for the service cast him curious looks, but he simply nodded and smiled in answer. It wasn’t hard. Ever since he had left Leigh and the baby, he couldn’t seem to stop smiling.
He’d had just enough time to make a pit stop at Vera’s house, where he put in a quick call to Ben, one of several since the night before, and then rushed to shave, shower, and put on his suit. Now James tugged off his overcoat as he swept into his office. He grabbed his vestments off the coat rack in the corner, pulled the robe over his head, slung the scapular around his neck, then checked the neck piece in the mirror. The scarf was a special pattern and color today for Christmas. Every so often his mind kept slamming into that fact: it was Christmas Day. His heart was so full, his joy so deep, his relief so complete at having found Leigh, his emotions overshadowed everything.
This had to be the best day of his life, certainly the best Christmas he had ever known. Once again, he bowed his head and sent up a silent prayer of thanks for God’s answer to his prayers. James knew he had been answered with a miracle, and he would live in gratitude to the end of his days.
A knock on the door startled him and he spun around. Ben stood in the doorway, smiling at him. “So, you made it. I knew you would. A full seven minutes to spare too,” Ben noted, glancing at his watch.
“Miracles happen.”
“So I’ve heard.” Ben stepped forward and clasped James in a warm embrace. “Merry Christmas, my friend.”
James nodded, too choked up to speak for a moment. “Merry Christmas, Ben. Merry Christmas.”
He stepped back and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “Look at me. . . . I’m a mess.”
“Par for the course, after what you’ve been through. I remember when Carolyn had Rachel and Mark. I felt like sleeping for a week. You would have thought I’d gone through the labor and delivery myself.”
James laughed. “Pacing all night is pretty exhausting, but I still feel like I could run a marathon.”
“That, too.” Ben nodded wisely. “How was Leigh when you left?”
“She was great. Tired, of course, but great. The baby is so beautiful, Ben. She’s unbelievable.”
“I can’t wait to meet her. Julia will be her name, did you say?”
“That’s right. Leigh named her after her mother.”
Calling from the hospital that morning, James had already told Ben the basic facts of Leigh’s story. James still wanted to talk the situation over at length—Ben always offered such a wise, rational perspective—but there was no time for that now.
“I suppose you’ll be running right back to the hospital after the service, but Carolyn and I wanted you to know that you’re more than welcome to join us at the house today.”
“Thanks, Ben. That’s a lovely invitation, but I will be going back to spend the day with Leigh.”
“Understandably.” Ben patted James on the shoulder. “Well, time to start. I always love Christmas Day service, but this one is going to be very special for me.”
The two ministers entered the sanctuary side by side, following the chorus as they walked up the aisle, singing the opening hymn. They took their seats and when the hymn was finished Ben stepped up to the pulpit.
“Merry Christmas, everyone,” he began. “Before we start the service, I’d like to make a few announcements. We have the final tallies from the Christmas Fair and I want to thank everyone who gave their time and effort. It was an ambitious idea to hold it over two days, and a considerable amount of extra work was needed to pull it off. The good news is, it was a great success and we should all be proud. The bad news is, it was a great success and we’ll most likely be doing the same again next year—or maybe even shooting for three days, heaven help us.”
The congregation groaned and laughed at Ben’s remarks, and James smiled. Yet, though only a week’s time had passed since the fair, he could hardly recall it. Last Saturday seemed like a dream to him, a bad dream. It was the day Leigh had left town and his heart had been broken; that was all he would ever remember.
“The Outreach Committee and the deacons met over this past week,” Ben went on, “and they have determined that this year the profits from the fair, nearly ten thousand dollars, will be donated to the Helping Hands Mission in Nicaragua.”
James sat bolt upright. Did Ben just say that the church was going to send his mission ten thousand dollars? Ben caught his eye and smiled, and he knew that he had.
James got to his feet in a daze of happy astonishment. Ben urged him forward and he stumbled up the few steps to the pulpit. He took a deep breath, trying to organize his delirious thoughts into some sort of coherent sentence. “I’m overwhelmed,” he finally admitted. “I don’t know what to say, except that rig
ht now I must be the most blessed man on the face of the earth. I thank you all, from the bottom of my heart, for your generosity, your kindness, and your Christian spirit. I thank you on behalf of those at the mission, who will see their lives transformed by this gift, this miracle of generosity—of God’s love and His spirit at work in the world.”
James stood tall and looked out at the faces of the congregation, seeing their warm, familiar smiles and sensing their gentle, silent answers.
“I feel God’s love in this room right now because of all of you. I guess that’s what Christmas is all about. So I thank you for reminding me and for that gift, too. May God bless each and every one of you.”
James bowed his head to say a silent blessing over the group then stepped back to his seat, feeling his legs weak and rubbery.
Ben returned to take his place and led the group in the first prayer. James’s thoughts were spinning. How much he could do with this money back at the mission! Dozens of projects sprang to mind. Then he thought of Leigh and Julia. How could he leave them? He couldn’t. Not now, not ever. Would Leigh return with him to Nicaragua? That seemed too much to ask of any woman and besides, there was so little settled between them right now. . . .
He sat back and forced his mind to put aside his worries. Haven’t you learned anything at all from these past few days and all you’ve been through? Have faith, James. Take one step at a time and have faith that it will all work out for the best. “All things work together for good to them that love God . . . ,” he recalled. The simple verse from Romans could never have seemed any truer than it did today.
He felt relieved that he wasn’t giving today’s sermon—he knew he would have been too distracted—but when Ben stepped up to the pulpit James focused with complete interest, eager to hear what his friend had to say.
“Merry Christmas, everyone,” Ben greeted the congregation. “You know, no matter how old we get, I think we still wake up on Christmas morning with that tingle of anticipation. Or at least, we think back to the time when we were children, or relive that feeling by watching our children and grandchildren. I guess you might say that Christmas is the season of Great Expectations.
“One year, I recall, I asked Santa for a pony. . . .” He paused, smiling in response to the laughter that rippled through his audience. “No matter how my parents tried to gently steer me toward something more realistic, like a baseball mitt or roller skates, I wanted a pony and I believed that Santa was going to deliver it to me.” He shrugged and grinned. “Why not? I had been a good boy, done my chores, gotten good grades. I had only been in one scrape in the schoolyard, and the other kid started it, of course.” The congregation laughed again and Ben continued. “So you’ve already guessed how this story ends. I didn’t find a pony under the tree. I did find a baseball mitt, roller skates, a big book about horses, too, I think. Was I disappointed? Oh, you bet. But perhaps not any more so than my dear mother, who had wanted my father to buy her a bottle of French perfume—Chanel Number Five, I think it was. Well, the poor woman ended up with an electric coffeepot—or was that the year of the gardening tools? My father couldn’t help himself, no matter how plainly my mother asked for what she wanted. He thought a Christmas gift should be a useful thing. He didn’t know the first thing about buying perfume.” Many men in the audience were grinning sheepishly, James noticed.
“Sometimes gifts are perfect, of course,” Ben went on. “And sometimes they even exceed our expectations. But what is the spirit of Christmas, really? Anticipation . . . and disappointment? Expensive, jaw-dropping gifts that overwhelm us? Disillusionment when we don’t find that pony and plain blindness to the pile of gifts we do receive? Fretting over our endless to-do lists and gifts lists, wondering if we’ve gotten the right size and color, if we’ve spent too little or too much? Feeling tired and empty before the party has even begun? That’s the prevailing spirit for some of us, I know.”
He paused and gazed out at the congregation. “This morning, we each received a gift that never disappoints, a gift that always fits, a gift that embodies the true spirit of Christmas—the very essence of the first Christmas. ‘For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.’ ” Ben paused to let the familiar yet powerful words sink in. “God’s gift of unconditional love, His love and His forgiveness. And through His love, we are connected to the world and given the power to love and forgive others. That, to me, is the true spirit of this season, the spirit we need to draw upon and put into action the whole year through.
“Think of the shepherds, guarding their flocks in the fields that dark night Jesus was born. And the wise men, how they heard of the birth and followed the star, believing the Scriptures had finally been realized. That is the spirit of Christmas, too. Great expectations that God’s promise would be fulfilled. In the middle of the dark night, they went forward on faith, following a star, trusting and believing they would be led to the right place. That is the true spirit of Christmas, too, I think. To look up at the stars and see God’s love and to keep moving forward on faith. That’s what it means to me to keep the spirit of Christmas in our hearts every day.”
He stood back and took a breath, his hands braced on either side of the podium. “May God bless you all. Now, let us bow our heads in prayer. . . .”
James prayed along with the congregation, feeling the power of Ben’s Christmas message deep in his heart. These past weeks he had learned something about unconditional love—and about moving forward in faith, too.
LEIGH HAD THE ODDEST FEELING AS JAMES DROVE THEM TOWARD MEADOWLARK LANE on Sunday morning, as if her past and present were coming together. Memories surfaced of the first night he had driven her to Vera’s house, after their accident. But of course, that night had been quite different—dark and snowy, whereas today was bright and clear. James had been a stranger and she had sat stiffly beside him, afraid to say a word, with no idea of where she was or where she was going. Now she sat in back, feeling overwhelming love for James and finding every bend of the road familiar—and still marveling at the strange and mysterious turns life takes.
Julia slept soundly in her car seat, swaddled in a hooded fleece snow-suit and tucked cozily under several blankets. Leigh had read that it was safer for infants to face backwards in a car, but she felt uncomfortable sitting up front, not being able to see Julia’s face. James had understood perfectly and didn’t mind at all chauffeuring them. In fact, he had insisted. Julia had arrived in the world only three days ago, but Leigh knew her daughter could not have found a more attentive, loving guardian if the child had picked him out from heaven above while floating around in some angelic state. Or maybe Julia had done just that, Leigh reflected with a secret smile. It would explain a lot.
She glanced over at James, catching his strong profile as he stared out at the road ahead. She did love him with all her heart. They had some difficult decisions to make, some challenges ahead, but she felt so hopeful now. She was hopeful about her life again, because he was part of it. She hadn’t felt that way in such a long time; it still seemed unbelievable to her that they had managed to find a way back to each other.
“We’re almost there,” James said as the turn for Meadowlark Lane came into sight. “Vera was so excited this morning, she was spraying everything in sight with disinfectant. I barely escaped being sanitized myself.”
Leigh laughed, though inside she felt a twinge of nerves. It was difficult to face Vera again. So far, they had only spoken over the phone—after James sat down with Vera and explained things. When Leigh had finally talked to her, Vera had sounded her usual self, asking questions about the baby and Leigh’s recovery. She seemed to assume Leigh would be returning, yet Leigh still felt misgivings. So much had been left unsaid.
As the car pulled up the drive and came to a stop, Leigh saw the side door swing open. Vera stood watching them, an eager expression lighting her face.
Everyone is excited to s
ee Julia, no matter what they feel about me, Leigh thought. Though she’d never realized it before, a newborn baby was the perfect ambassador.
Leigh started to unfastened the car seat that doubled as a baby carrier, but James poked his head in from the other door. “You go ahead. This contraption is heavier than it looks. I’ll carry the baby.”
She nodded and swallowed hard then slipped out of the car and started toward Vera.
“So you’re back. I can hardly believe it.” Vera’s voice sounded breathless and her eyes looked glassy with unshed tears. Did Vera really care for me that much? Leigh wondered, feeling a fresh stab of guilt.
“It’s okay, I hope,” Leigh started nervously. “I mean, James said it was. But I don’t think I ever asked you.” Leigh looked down at the ground a moment then straight into the older woman’s blue-gray eyes. “I’m sorry for deceiving you, Vera, and for deceiving everyone. . . . Do you think you can forgive me?”
Vera’s chin trembled and Leigh saw that she was crying. “Well, to be perfectly honest with you, I’ve wondered about that myself.”
Vera stopped to sniffle into a hankie and Leigh held her breath. If Vera couldn’t forgive her, she would have to accept that, but it made her heart ache to think she’d hurt the older woman so badly.
“I’ve given it some thought and prayed about it, too,” Vera went on. “And I finally decided I can forgive you. And I do.”
Leigh released her breath and felt her whole body relax in a whoosh of relief. “Thank you,” she said quietly. “Oh, Vera, thank you.”
“I was fit to be tied when you ran off, without even a word or a note to say good-bye. James must have told you how I acted. But when I heard what you’d been through . . . well, of course I understand, dear.” She shook her head and took Leigh’s hands in her own. “Can you forgive me for hanging up the phone on you?” She glanced over Leigh’s shoulder at James, who was standing nearby. “I don’t know if James ever will. You should have seen the look in his eye. Not befitting a minister, I’ll tell you that much. I guess I ought to count my blessings I’m still standing here in one piece.”
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