“Yeah, and you took out Rain with the blast.”
Brody didn’t deny it. He knew exactly what he’d done, why he’d done it. No excuse for his behavior.
Brody sighed. “Rain was different, everything I never thought I could have. I held on to her for as long as I could, praying one day she wouldn’t wake up and see what everyone else saw. I was a badass McBride, not good enough for her, not smart enough, or kind enough. Rain didn’t think any of those things, but I sure as hell proved her wrong.”
Owen remained quiet and watchful, waiting for him to finish his confession.
“So, there I am in Roxy’s place and feeling miserable for pushing Rain away. Roxy asks me why I’m drinking alone instead of out with Rain. Stupid drunk as I am, I tell her we broke up. Next thing I know, she’s a second skin on me and she whispers in my ear, ‘I’ll make you forget pretty little Rain.’”
Brody could still hear Roxy’s voice notch down a few octaves, feel her tongue slide over his earlobe. Even now, his gut twisted and he felt . . . dirty.
“The thing is, nothing and no one could ever make me forget Rain.”
“But you still slept with Roxy.”
“I closed my eyes, gave in to Roxy’s attempt to prove she could make me forget, and pretended that for a moment I had Rain. Worst mistake of my life.”
“That’s the fucking truth.”
Brody recognized his mistake the second he opened his eyes and saw the wrong woman under him. He zipped his fly and buttoned his jeans and stormed out of her place, hating himself for what he’d done.
Rain showed up at his door two days later, said she refused to give up on them, and jumped into his arms and proceeded to show him why they were so good together. Like he needed to be shown. Nothing ever felt as good as when he was with Rain—no matter what they were doing together.
He tried to cleanse his body and soul with the only woman who’d ever really cared about him. She’d always had a way of making him feel clean and good and worth something.
Too bad making love to her couldn’t erase the worst mistake of his life.
“So, you gave up Rain for a cheap fuck.”
“Wasn’t cheap.” Brody planted his hands on his hips, lowered his head and shook it, the sadness welling up his throat. With no more than a whisper, he said, “Cost me Rain.”
Brody looked around the ravaged room, a reflection of the mess his life had been in all these years. He wanted a clean slate, but he needed to clean up the past in order to get it.
“That woman cost me a hell of a lot. The old man still ended up wrecking his truck after leaving her bar years later. Killed a perfectly good deer in the process. Who knows, given time away from that place, maybe the old man would have sobered up one day, found religion and some good humor. Maybe I’d have just gotten older and wiser and decided his life wasn’t mine. I’ll never know because I fucked her and my life. Tossed it all away because I was pissed at the old man and myself for believing I wasn’t good enough for Rain. Hell, I was pissed at the fucking world. Why? Because I had a fucked-up childhood. Couldn’t pull my head out of my ass long enough to see if I wanted something I had to work for it, earn it, be willing to accept whatever came my way. Doesn’t matter now.”
“Roxy’s a hell of a lot worse than you know.”
“Wouldn’t surprise me at all.” Not much surprised him these days. “Roxy thought she was better than everyone because she knew everyone’s dirty little secrets. Most of it was drunken lies told to her chest. Lord knows, her tits were the most interesting thing about her. She is what she is. I made my choices. Paid for them and a hell of a lot more. I’ve done a lot worse than get drunk and have sex with Roxy to scratch an itch.”
“Then why did you come back, knowing that’s what you left behind?”
“I told you, I want to find Rain.”
“To what end? How do you know she’ll even talk to you?”
“Won’t know, unless I try. I’ve seen a lot of bad shit, done even worse. The only time I can remember being happy, truly happy, was when I was with Rain. I want that back.”
“You can’t go back,” Owen snapped. “It’s been a long time since you saw her. Things change. People change. Hell, you changed her when you did what you did, and left,” he shouted the words.
Brody smiled. “You know where she is.” Owen’s eyes didn’t meet his. “You’ve seen her. Has she come back to town a few times to see Eli? Where does she live now? San Francisco? Did she stay there after college?”
“You still haven’t answered the question. Why do you want to find her?”
“You don’t make it easy on a guy.” He tossed up his hands and let them fall with a slap against his legs. “She’s the one that got away. The one I pushed away. But it’s always been her. Wherever I am, whatever I’m doing, Rain is there with me. She got me through Iraq and Afghanistan. She got me through grueling, agonizing rehab.”
“And now you want to just find her and say, let’s let bygones be bygones.”
“I don’t think it will be that easy.” Half a smile quirked up his face. In for one hell of a fight with Rain, he actually looked forward to it. Rain in a temper was only matched by her passion in bed. Which only proved what a colossal fool he’d been to let her go without a fight.
Hell, he’d made it easy by leaving her before she left him.
That gem of an epiphany hit him while he lay burned and bleeding on a stretcher right after the roadside bomb nearly took his life. Rain had been ready to leave town, take her scholarship and make a real life for herself. He didn’t have a single thing to offer her besides more of the same life she was desperate to escape. She had plans, an opportunity to make something of herself, and he didn’t fit into those plans. At least, that’s what he thought at the time. When the opportunity came to screw everything up royally, knowing it would cost him Rain and any chance to have a life with her, he took hold with both hands. The same thing he’d always done. If you were going to screw him, he’d screw you first. If his old man wanted to get on his case, Brody made damn sure he had a reason. If he was going to lose Rain anyway, he’d sure as hell make sure she knew he didn’t need her.
What an enormous lie. He did need Rain.
“I think it’ll take a lot of groveling.”
“What if she doesn’t want to see you?”
“I’ll change her mind.”
“If you can’t?”
“Can’t isn’t an option,” Brody bit out.
“You’ve got it bad for her. Is that what you want me to believe?”
“Believe what you like. With or without your help, I will find her. And when I do, I will convince her to make a life with me.”
“What if she’s already married?”
“If she was, you’d have told me that ten minutes ago when I asked about her. You’d have thrown it in my face the minute you realized I came back for her. Because even I know I deserve it.”
Brody walked to the open door and stared out at his sorry yard. With his hands braced on each side of the doorframe, he pleaded, “Please, tell me where she is.”
Owen shoved Brody out the door and followed him out. “I’ll be in court most of the day. Whatever you do, don’t come into town. I don’t have time to defend Eli against murder charges. Give me today to talk to him before everyone finds out you’re back.”
“Just tell me where she is, Counselor.”
Owen stopped and held on to the door of his truck before getting in. “Make me a promise.”
“What?”
“Stay out of town today. In the morning, I’ll tell you where she is.”
“You’re going to call and warn her I’m looking for her.” Brody had a pretty good idea she wasn’t as far away as he’d originally thought. That would only make things easier. Not that he wouldn’t go to the ends of the earth to find her.
“Absolutely.” Owen gave him a cocky grin.
“Still playing dirty,” Brody said, feeling nostalgic.
“Giving her a fair chance to decide on her own what she wants without you showing up unexpectedly and catching her off guard. A lot has happened since you left. She’s not the girl you remember. She has a whole new life.”
“Is she happy?”
The play of emotions on his brother’s face left him confused. Owen stared out across the yard to the lake beyond. It took him a minute to answer. “There are times she is. Yeah, I guess for the most part she’s made the most out of . . . Well, she’s fine.”
“What the hell kind of answer is that? I thought you’d been in contact with her.”
“I have. She’s living her life the best she can. What more do you want?”
“For you to stop fucking around and tell me where she is.”
“Tomorrow. If you need supplies . . . And garbage bags,” he said, scanning the yard disgustedly, “go to Solomon. Twenty-four hours. That’s all I’m asking.”
“You ask for a hell of a lot. I know she’s either in town or close by. Why not just say so?”
“Eli, number one. And she deserves a heads-up. If she doesn’t want to see you, you will leave her alone.”
“Never going to happen.”
“Don’t make me give into my urge to pound you bloody.” Owen’s knuckles went white where he held the truck door.
Owen’s odd behavior made Brody agree. “I’ll give you today. Tomorrow, you either tell me where she is, or I’ll take my chances with Eli.” He let that hang for a minute, then added, “I’ve got my own contacts. One Internet search, and I’ll find her.”
“Shit! Then why did you ask for my help?”
“Rain isn’t the only one I wanted to see.” The truth of the matter, Brody thought using Owen to find Rain would be a good way to bridge the gap between them.
“Who are you, and what have you done with my hard-ass brother?”
“Well, Counselor, you aren’t the only one who decided to change which side of the law he landed on. Like everyone else, I’ve changed.”
Owen eyed him for a moment before shaking his head. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Stay out of town.”
“You aren’t taking the day off to help me clean up this mess?”
Owen stepped away from the truck and planted his hands on his hips. “Whether you realize it or not, I’ve been cleaning up your mess for years.” He looked at the yard and house a bunch of teenagers had trashed during what had to amount to several rowdy parties at the deserted cabin. “This one you get to fix.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“You’ll see. You left a hell of a lot more behind than just Rain and me.” Owen gunned the engine and took off.
Owen’s final words rang in his ears. His past was coming back to bite him on the ass.
Chapter Two
* * *
TRAPPED IN THE familiar dream, Rain shifted in the sheets, her subconscious taking her to the one place she didn’t want to go. Straight into Brody’s arms, his big hand and long fingers clamped around her thigh as he joined their bodies. The dusting of blond hair on his chest tickled her taut nipples just before his chest pressed against her heavy, tingling breasts. Their mouths joined, tongues imitating the thrust of their hips, and their hearts melded together as the heat between them grew hotter than the whitest star, exploding into an ecstasy she’d only ever found in Brody’s strong arms.
Rain awoke, gasping for breath as her body betrayed her conscious mind. Ripples of spent passion echoed through her.
Great, Rain. Eight years and you’re still dreaming about a man who betrayed you.
But, God, even in her dreams he could make her body hum. “I need a new dream man,” she said to the ceiling and combed her fingers through her long hair. Even in her dreams, she couldn’t come up with a new man to stoke the fire in her that was cold as last winter’s ashes in the waking hours.
What did she expect? Her only point of reference—Brody. No one but him made her heart stutter. Not that she had the time or inclination to let another man into her life when she devoted all her time to raising her girls. One round with Brody knocked her out of the ring of love. It took years to get up off the mats, dust herself off, and find a way to let go of her dreams and put the past behind her.
Yeah, right. You just woke up in bed with a ghost.
She shivered with an odd sense. Trouble’s on the way.
OWEN SAT OUTSIDE Rain’s house for a good five minutes before he worked up the nerve to get out of his truck and walk up the driveway to the back door. Without knocking, he walked in and found Rain at the stove flipping pancakes. The smell of coffee hung in the air over the scent of the fresh chopped strawberries on the cutting board.
“Hey, beautiful.” Owen eased toward Rain.
Rain turned and smiled. “Hey, yourself.”
He kissed her on the forehead, reached around her, and stole a pancake from the platter, rolled it, and took a bite, savoring the buttery taste. “Mmmm, good.”
“Want some coffee?”
“Definitely. Where are the girls?”
“Brushing their teeth and hair. They’ll be down in a minute.”
“Okay.” He paced the kitchen, stopping to take his mug of coffee from Rain and the plate of pancakes she’d made for him before pouring more batter onto the skillet.
With her back to him, she asked, “What’s wrong?”
“Why do you think something is wrong?”
“It’s seven thirty in the morning, and you’re pacing my kitchen like a caged animal.”
“I have something to tell you, and I’m not sure how you’ll take it. It’s big. It’s about the girls.”
Rain turned abruptly, spatula held up like a club. “Is Roxy back in town?”
“Not that I know. It’s something else.”
She turned back to the pancakes. “Then, just say it. Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad.”
“Brody’s back,” he spit out, sipped his coffee, and scalded his tongue on the hot brew. She stood rigid with her head down, watching the pancake batter bubble on the pan. “Flip them over, honey.”
She did, but her shoulders remained stiff, her head down. “Does he know?”
“No.”
“Why is he here?”
“He’s been honorably discharged from the Army.” When that didn’t faze her, he continued. “He came home to find you.”
She turned and faced him, eyes narrowed. “Does he know I’m here?”
“He seemed to think you were probably living in San Francisco, or at least California after you attended college.”
“Which I never did.” Sadness flashed in her eyes. He hated seeing it.
“He doesn’t know that. After we talked this morning, he realized I know where you are, have for a long time, and figured out you’re either in town or close by.”
“Do you think he means to stay?”
“Hard to say. He’s out at the cabin.”
“That place is a wreck.” She wrinkled her pretty, pert nose.
“Yep. I think he means to clean it up and live there.”
“So, there’s no getting around it. He’ll find out.”
“Looks that way. I’ve bought you a day to tell the girls. He’s promised not to come into town. I told him I’d tell him where you are tomorrow.”
Rain bit her lip, working her teeth over the rosy flesh. “Do you think he’ll try to take them from me?”
Her voice went soft, like a child. Tough and strong, she had to be after everything she’d endured. Brody was the cause of this disturbing change.
“No one can take them from you, honey. You’re a great mother.”
Footsteps across the floor upstairs, the girls would be down for breakfast soon, so Rain hurried to voice the rest of her concerns. “If he tries to sue me for custody, even partial, will you represent him, or me?”
Owen frowned, not knowing the right thing to do, or if there was a right or wrong. It seemed the longer he practiced law, the more shades of gray he uncovered. “I do
n’t think it will come to that.” He held up a hand to stop her from arguing. “If he wants to sue you for partial custody, as is his right, I’ll do everything I can to work with both of you to come to some sort of agreement. But I will make it clear to Brody that you’re the only parent those children know. He’s changed, Rain. We had some words this morning, and things could have gone the usual way.”
“With him in your face, both of you ready to trade punches.”
“Aw, you know us so well.” He teased to bring her out of her dark mood. She didn’t crack a smile. “But he didn’t. In fact, I won’t say he backed down, that will never be Brody’s way, but he let the anger pass and opened up about why he’s here.”
“I don’t really care why he’s here. The problem is he doesn’t know about the girls. He doesn’t know about Roxy. How do I explain them to him? They’re seven. What if he doesn’t want anything to do with them? Do you have any idea how crushed they’ll be?”
“You don’t owe him a damn explanation. He left you, pregnant with his baby. He didn’t call, never wrote, never told anyone where he was for the last eight years. He left you to clean up the mess with Roxy. He should thank you for what you did.”
“Somehow, I don’t think he’ll thank me for keeping his girls from him.”
“You didn’t keep them from him,” Owen said under his breath. Little footsteps pounded on the stairs. “You spent three years trying to find him. It was luck I found out he was in the military. Even then, they were already three and the old man was dead. Brody wouldn’t return my phone calls, just sent that damn note. It’s his own damn fault,” Owen bit out. The two little nymphs came flying into the room with bright smiles on their faces.
“Uncle Owen,” they shouted in unison and hugged and kissed him on the cheek. His heart always felt lighter when he saw them.
“Morning, girls. You guys hungry? Your mom made pancakes.”
Dawn, ever the inquisitive one, looked at Rain for a long moment. “What’s going on? Uncle Owen doesn’t usually have breakfast with us during the week.”
Rain brushed a hand over her daughter’s golden hair. “Uncle Owen came to tell us some news.”
The Return of Brody McBride Page 2