Brody stared at Owen enjoying his meal like he didn’t have a care in the world. Like Brody hadn’t lost his mind.
“You should eat something. Taking those pills on an empty stomach isn’t a good idea.”
“About what happened . . .”
“Brody. Man. Eat. Relax. Take a breath and let it out.”
Brody took a bite and his stomach came to life, his hunger grew, so he sat companionably with his brother and ate and breathed. It took a minute for the quiet to sink in before Brody looked around and realized the delivery men were gone, his home was improved if not yet comfortable and clean, and this was the first time he’d sat down to a meal with Owen since they were fresh out of high school. Most nights, it had been he and Owen eating something out of a can, the old man either passed out on the couch or down at Roxy’s tying one on. As much as he hated the old man for his drinking and temper, Brody had to admit there had always been something to eat in the house. Maybe not a real, healthy meal, but something. He guessed there were a lot of people out there who couldn’t claim the same. Hell, he’d seen enough poverty and hunger in the faces of some of the smaller villages he’d been through during his tours of duty.
Sliding his empty bowl away, Brody caught Owen watching him, his eyes filled with concern. “I have flashbacks. The shrinks say it’s post-traumatic stress disorder. I can’t control it. They say it will take time to get accustomed to being back. Too much time in a war zone on the front lines, or some such shit.”
“So, you’re pissed because all the killing and dying left a mark on you?”
“I can live with the scars on my body. I look at them and remember how I got them and let them go. It’s no big deal. This is different. I lived through the war once, I don’t need to relive it again and again. The pain from the wounds to my body are part of healing what happened and moving on. The flashbacks bring everything back. It’s a pain in the ass, and yes, it pisses me off. I just want it to be over. I hoped I could come back, see the old place, see you, be with Rain and it would all go away. Change my focus, change my mindset, and live a normal life again.”
“You’ve spent the last six years at war, and you expect to just turn off those instincts and feelings and what, be a rancher?”
Brody smiled. “I’m not a rancher. Though I do plan on building a new barn and getting a few horses. I own a majority of a company. I can do the work from here,” he added, because that’s exactly what he wanted to do. Unless it turned out Rain lived somewhere else and didn’t want to move back to Fallbrook and live with him on Clear Water Ranch. Actually, the more he thought about those horses he wanted, the more he thought he could make a decent living breeding and selling them.
First things first, he needed to find Rain and get her back.
“As for the flashbacks, can’t turn them off. They just happen. The meds help. I left this morning on a mission, and forgot to take the pills with me. I have triggers, things that set me off. Noise, crowds, constantly being on alert, looking for snipers and threats.”
Does Owen think I’m as crazy as I sound?
“I know they aren’t there, but it’s a habit that’s hard to break. It becomes a part of who you are, that constant intense alertness to everything around you.”
“I get it,” Owen said simply. “I’ve seen news reports about the troops coming home. They need help, and the government, in its slow, inefficient way, is trying to provide the medical and psychological care the soldiers require after what they’ve been through in Iraq and Afghanistan. So relax, Brody. I don’t think you’re crazy. I think you’re a hero, who deserves whatever time it takes to adjust and settle.”
Brody shifted uncomfortably at the term hero. Hard to think anything he’d done was heroic. Sure, he saw the big picture and understood many of the people in Iraq were better off. The details of how that was accomplished didn’t strike him as heroic, not when a lot of innocent blood had been spilled, and friends and comrades died.
“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell Rain what happened today.” Brody knew full well Owen would tell her.
“Small towns, man,” Owen retorted.
“Great. The bastard who left her after sleeping with the town slut comes home off his rocker with a patchwork of scars and a cabin that looks like a garbage dump. Why wouldn’t she give me the time of day?”
“I think you’ve got a shot at a relationship with her. It might not be the way you want it, or for the reasons you think, but Rain is a good woman with a big heart.”
“What the hell does any of that mean?”
“You’ll see.”
Growling with frustration, Brody asked, “Is she in town? Did you see her today?”
“I talked to her,” Owen evaded, pissing Brody off even more. “I told her you were back.”
“What’d she say?”
“She wanted to know why.”
“What’d you tell her?”
“That you’re looking for her.”
“What did she say to that?” Brody asked through his teeth. Pretty soon, he’d beat the answers out of Owen, until he talked faster than Brody’s fists hit him.
“Not much.”
Brody made a move to go after Owen, but Owen conceded by holding up a hand and smirking like an idiot. “Okay. She wanted to know why you came home now. She knows you were in the military and got hurt. I kept her up to date on your condition and progress through rehab.”
“She knows about the burns and shrapnel.” Brody turned his head away. Never far from his mind, he knew one day, if he was lucky enough to win Rain’s heart again, she’d see the damage to his leg. He could walk fine, his jeans covered most of the damage to his hip, but in bed, she’d know. She’d see the gnarled, discolored skin and the scars from surgery and shrapnel tearing up his flesh.
“She knows about the gunshot wound, every time you got stitched up for one thing or another, everything.”
“How the hell did you find all of this out? I never called you. I never told you I was in the military.”
“I was wondering when you’d ask me about that,” Owen said, stalling for time. “I left town about six months ahead of you.”
“You went off to college and left me here to deal with the old man.” Brody didn’t hide his anger.
Owen felt that same anger every time he’d had to take care of something the old man fell short doing for himself, for Brody, for him. Owen didn’t have a choice but to leave. At the time, it’d been a matter of survival. Brody hadn’t hit that mark. No, it took him another six months to reach his rock bottom and see that walking the same path as their father would only lead them down a broken road of misery.
“Your choice,” Owen countered. “You could have gone to college yourself.”
“I was never interested in school. Got the grades I needed to pass without looking like an idiot.”
“Don’t pull that shit with me, Brody. You were a good student without using even half of your brain cells. You got straight As on all the college courses you took through correspondence and online while you were in the military.”
“How the hell do you know that?” Brody snapped. He couldn’t believe the kind of information Owen gathered without so much as a phone call from him. “Did you hire some private detective to ferret out all my secrets?”
“Didn’t have to. I went to law school with a guy whose father is a major general. He connected me with your captain. I spoke with him once a month for the last six years.”
“Are you shitting me?”
“Do you really think you can be hospitalized in the military and they won’t contact your next of kin, no matter how much you protest and tell them not to? That’s bullshit, Brody. And a hell of a thing to do to your only brother. I don’t care how pissed you are at me for leaving. You had no right to leave without a word, and then not call when you were wounded in action. Not the first time, or the tenth.”
Owen took a deep swallow of soda, let his anger simmer, and sat back heavily in his c
hair. Circling his finger over the wood table, he spoke softly, “I came to the hospital in Georgia. You were unconscious, and I sat with you for a few hours. You didn’t want me there, so I made sure I was gone when you woke up. I stayed for a couple of days and made sure you received the care you needed.”
Brody felt like shit. One afternoon, he’d woken up with Owen’s name sputtering across his lips. He could have sworn he’d heard Owen talking to him. Awake, all he found was a nurse checking his blood pressure. She’d said the oddest thing at the time about calling his brother back. He’d thought she’d meant to call him on the phone. Now, he knew. Owen had been there.
Rain hadn’t been far from his mind in those first few days of waking up in constant pain, disoriented and miserable. He’d hallucinated about her many times. It was too much to hope those ghostly images and imagined whispers were truly Rain standing beside him, ordering him to fight.
“I didn’t know.” He was afraid to ask if those hallucinations of Rain were real. He’d already shown Owen an up-close-and-personal view of how screwed up his head was. He didn’t need to give him any more ammo to use against him with Rain.
“You wanted your own life, to stand on your own two feet. I know how that feels, because I left this place determined to be my own man and not the son of John McBride. When I came back to practice law, I did it on my terms. I knew when I’d changed enough, accepted the past for what it was, and moved on to being who I wanted to be. I guess you just needed a little longer.”
“You didn’t do half bad working for that fancy Washington law firm,” Brody tossed out to let Owen know he wasn’t the only one who’d done some snooping.
“Yeah, I made some money, but I wanted something more in my life. I like small-town living. I like practicing law here, and I still make a better than decent living.”
“All you need is a woman.”
“Yeah, well, I’ve been busy with your woman,” Owen said. “If we’re revealing all, let’s not overlook the fact the little company you own majority share in is worth multimillions and you hold the patent on some very hot commodities.”
“Damn, you do know a thing or two.”
“I’m a lawyer. Digging up information is my business.” Owen gave Brody a discerning look. “How come you know about me, but you didn’t look up Rain?”
“You don’t miss anything, Counselor.”
“Not much. Spill it.”
“I did enough damage when I left is the lame answer. I was tied to the military by contract is just another excuse.”
“You were afraid she’d turn you down flat,” Owen guessed.
“Absolutely. If I wanted even a slim chance of getting her back, I’d have to do it in person.”
“It’s hard to hang up on a live person all right.”
Brody took a deep breath and let out the real reason he’d waited so long. “I didn’t want to come home empty handed. She planned to leave for college, would have an education and a great job under her belt. I didn’t want to be the dumb hick she loved but had to support, like the old man was to my mother.”
“Brody, that was your mother’s choice. She knew exactly what the old man was like before she married him. Marrying him didn’t make him a different man. He was the same one she’d fallen in love with, for better or worse.”
“Seems to me she only got the worse,” Brody said sadly.
“She got the better in you. She loved you, Brody. And me,” Owen said in all honesty.
“Where’s your mom these days?” Brody asked.
“Married to a podiatrist in Florida. Says she can wear heels all day long because the guy’s got magic hands.” Owen rolled his eyes to the ceiling, his mouth set in a grim line. “I do not even want to know what she means by that,” he said miserably.
Brody laughed. “Sounds just like Sharon. So, you see why I didn’t want to come back, find Rain, and offer her nothing but my disability check from the military?”
“I get it. But there’s something you didn’t take into account. Rain.” Owen stood and took both bowls to the sink and set them inside with a distinct thud. When he turned around, he leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. “She didn’t go to college. In fact, she never left town. She’s been here the whole time.”
“What?” Brody burst out, surprised and confused. “She had her scholarship all lined up. She had the money from her grandparents’ and her mother’s estates. Eli saved every extra penny he could get his hands on. She was supposed to leave for San Francisco.”
“She didn’t. Couldn’t, really.”
“What does that mean? Did something happen to Rain?”
“You did,” Owen said in all seriousness. “Things happen, Brody. Life happens. She did the best she could. She tried to find you after you left. Chased you down across three states before she lost you in Arizona. After that, she gave up. You made it perfectly clear by your constant wandering you didn’t want to be found.”
“Why did she try to find me?”
“You’ll have to ask her. The rest of the story is hers to tell. I can only tell you that you don’t have to worry about trying to find her, or that she won’t want to talk to you. She does. She’ll be expecting you when you’re ready to go and see her. I suggest you get this place in order, take another day or two to settle in and get some rest.”
Ignoring Owen’s suggestion to wait a couple of days, Brody asked a simple question and hoped Owen gave him a straight answer for once. “You’ve seen Rain, talked to her over the last few years you’ve been back. Do you think there’s a chance she could love me again?”
Owen laughed. “She’s more likely to lop off your head for what you did to her.”
Brody let out a defeated sigh, his shoulders slumped.
“I’m kidding. You’ve got a shot. She left a window open, even if she did slam the door in your face.”
It was too much to hope for, so Brody took in those words and buried them with the rest of his dreams. “What would you do if you were me and you wanted her back?”
“I’d go to her knowing I was the one in the wrong. I’d remember she tried to find me once. As much as you want to explain your side to her, remember she has a side, too. There’s a reason she never left town. You have everything to do with that reason.” Grabbing his keys from the counter, Owen started toward the door. “I’ll leave you to think about that. It might take some time, but I have a feeling everything will work out. If you’re not a bonehead,” Owen added and shut the door between them.
Brody stood and stared out the window. Owen climbed into his truck and headed for the main house just over the rise. When he turned back to the room, he decided Owen might be right about putting his life and house in order before he went to see Rain.
Rain didn’t go to college. She stayed in town because of him. He hated to think he’d hurt her so badly, she refused to take her scholarship and reach for her dream.
But that wasn’t right. Rain wasn’t the kind of woman, even at eighteen, who’d give up so much for something as stupid as her boyfriend leaving her. It was more likely she’d have gone off to San Francisco with a tilt to her head, her chin out, and a fuck-you attitude toward him with every A she earned.
What would make Rain stay? As he settled into bed that night, the new soft mattress at his back, clean sheets cocooning him, his hands clasped behind his head on his down pillow, he had a very bad feeling he’d done something far worse to Rain than he realized.
Chapter Five
* * *
BRODY HATED DELAYING seeing Rain. Knowing she was in town, expecting him even, made it hard to stay at the cabin and get things done. All he wanted to do was find her and put an end to his imaginings about what kept her from attending school eight years ago. Besides, he couldn’t have gone to town if he wanted to, unless he walked the fifteen miles. With his leg, he’d likely not make it two miles. His truck was at Eli’s garage, and Owen remained conspicuously absent the last two days.
Without wasting any time, he got the road crew working early the morning after Owen left. His driveway was grated and re-graveled within a few hours. Too bad he didn’t have a truck to drive over it. He did, however, have a clean cabin. The place was sanitized and scrubbed to the point he could eat off the floors. Then, the contractor and his crew showed up. They’d dug out the new foundation to connect with the cabin and add on another bedroom and bathroom and expand the living room. The landscapers cleared all the garbage from the yard, dug out the dead plants and trees, and cut all the grass down, tilled a few sections under, laid out new sod, planted some shrubs and flowers, and basically transformed the place in two days. It looked like someone actually lived there again.
The lake was the best. The contractor fixed up the dock and the landscaper planted several flowering bushes around the dock and lake border to make it more inviting. He spent most of last night watching the sun go down behind the mountains and eating dinner surrounded by water and the scent of fresh-cut wood.
His peaceful night by the lake turned into a restless night tossing and turning in his empty bed and waking up in a cold sweat, fighting imaginary insurgents. That agonizing dream replaced the one where he’d been sliding his hand up Rain’s thigh, his hard cock thrusting deep inside her, as he locked his mouth with hers, waging war with his tongue for total possession of her. And God, he’d been hot and throbbing, her skin pressed to his. He could even taste her. Then everything changed. A bomb exploded, cutting off all sound but that eerie, muffled ringing and the sound of his harsh breaths. Rain was gone, and he was disoriented and surveying his surroundings, gun at the ready, trying to get his bearings and a read on the enemy.
The Return of Brody McBride Page 5