Eventually, Seton started asking me more questions about where I’d come from. Once I’d answered one or two questions filling in the details of where the Ranch was, and a little about the life I’d left behind, she wanted to know how I felt about leaving the Ranch and whether I was scared of them. “Are you afraid they’ll try to come find you?” she asked, her eyes wide.
“A little bit,” I admitted. “Except I can’t imagine how they would ever manage it. Nobody knew I was planning to leave, and I paid cash for all the bus tickets. Plus, even I didn’t have any idea how to get here when I left. So I don’t think they’d be able to trace my path.”
She nodded, contemplating. “I suppose so. And hell, eventually they’ll just have to give up, won’t they? I mean, they can’t force an adult to do what she doesn’t want to do, so even if they find you, when you tell them you don’t want to go back, they’ll have to just go home and forget about it.” She was silent for a moment, and then looked at me with curiosity. “And Levi really comes from there, too?”
“Yes.” I tried to be careful not to give her information that Levi wouldn’t want me to. “He escaped, too, when I was a little girl and he was probably seventeen or eighteen. He knew my brother Elias, and I remember hearing Elias say once afterwards that Levi had gone to a town in Colorado called Lupine. For some reason, the name stuck in my head, and when I started to get ideas about leaving, I thought that maybe if I could get here he would help me.”
“Wow,” she breathed. “I can’t even imagine. Who would have known that Levi, of all people, was raised in a cult?” Her eyes widened in embarrassment. “Oh, I’m sorry, Cherish, I didn’t mean to call it that.”
“It’s okay,” I assured her. “I guess that’s what it might seem like, from the outside.”
She looked down at her food, and after a moment looked up again, changing the subject. “What do you want to try to do for work, Cherish? Have you thought about that at all?” she asked me between bites of her salad.
“No,” I admitted. “I don’t really know how to do anything.”
“Oh, come on, that’s got to be nonsense.” She waved a dismissive hand. “You told me you can cook. You must know how to do other things, as well.”
“I can sew,” I said. “And knit. And, um, I know how to type, actually. Other than that, not really.”
“Do you know much about computers?”
“I know some,” I nodded. “My first husband didn’t know much about them, so I had to learn so that I could order things for the farm, things like that.”
“Well, we’ll figure something out,” she shrugged. “Maybe you could get work waitressing at one of the restaurants in town. Or hell, there’s always retail. Or working as a receptionist somewhere. We’ve got time.”
After lunch, Seton said we had one more stop to make before we went home. Her friend and former roommate, Carly, was in town for the weekend from Denver. Carly was apparently an up and coming hair and makeup stylist who worked at a high-end salon, and when Seton had told her about me, Carly offered to give me a haircut to celebrate my freedom. We met at a small salon where Carly used to work, whose owner had given her permission to use one of the chairs for the afternoon. I was a little nervous when I met Carly and saw her artful arrangement of blond curls. “I can’t wear my hair like that,” I whispered to Seton. “I don’t know anything about styling my hair!”
“Don’t worry about it,” she assured me. “She won’t do anything too drastic if you don’t want her to.”
I took a deep breath and sat down, and an hour later, Carly had removed about three more inches and cut my hair in a way that somehow made it look lighter, fuller, and flowed around my face attractively. She even forced me to let her put on a little bit of makeup, and showed me how to do just a few tricks so that with just a little bit of mascara and a tube of something that could be used on both my cheeks and lips, I looked both just the same and completely different. I looked in the mirror and for the first time in my life, I felt beautiful.
“Thank you,” I breathed. “Oh, my gosh, thank you!”
Carly beamed. “And that, my friend, is why it’s on the house. Your smile is more payment than you can know.”
Seton thanked Carly and hugged her goodbye, and then we drove back to the clubhouse so she could drop me off. I got back around dinnertime, but I was still full from our late lunch and too exhausted to even think about eating, so I decided to skip the meal. So much had happened that afternoon that I could hardly believe it had been less than six hours since we’d left.
Back upstairs, I put the bags down on the bed from my excursion. There was a bag of my new underwear, another bag with my clean laundry and more clothing that Seton had pressed on me, and even a small bag with a tube of mascara and another of the lip and cheek blush that Carly had given me as a present. I got to work folding and putting away the clothes that Seton had given me, chuckling softly when I found the Minions T-shirt. A few minutes later a soft knock came on the door. I opened it to see Levi standing there, his wide shoulders almost filling the doorway.
“Hey,” he said softly, not quite meeting my eyes. “Can I come in for a second?”
“Of course,” I said, trying to ignore the hammering in my chest. I moved away from the door and he stepped in, stopping in the middle of the living area.
When I closed the door and came to join him, he was staring at me with a look on his face I had never seen before. It was almost like he was angry, but I could tell it wasn’t quite that. His entire body looked tensed, like a cat. A fierce, barely-controlled energy radiated from him, so distracting that it made me feel dizzy and almost unable to concentrate on what he was saying.
“You cut your hair,” he said, his voice thick.
“I… Seton’s friend cut it for me this afternoon. And put a little makeup on me,” I blushed. “It’s nothing, really.”
“It suits you,” he murmured. “All of it.” His eyes left mine to travel slowly down my body. I shivered. My skin felt as though I was in a lightning storm: every nerve seemed to be on edge, acutely aware of his electric presence.
“Thank you,” I choked out.
For a moment, neither of us said anything. As his eyes traveled back up my body, they seemed to linger on every curve. A throbbing began between my legs that I recognized from the dream I had had about him. From deep down, a sort of… longing began inside me. I couldn’t describe it in any other way. It was a longing so deep it was physical, but what it was I wanted, I wouldn’t have been able to articulate. All I knew was that it was because of Levi, and that I wanted him to touch me.
“I came to tell you I don’t mind at all that you’re going to stay for a bit. I wanted to ease your mind about that,” he said then. His voice, deep and rich, felt almost as though it was caressing my skin. I half-closed my eyes, my breathing growing shallow.
“I’m glad,” I managed to say. “I promise I won’t stay long, Levi. I know…”
“Stop!” he barked suddenly. I flinched, and he shook his head. “I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I didn’t mean to be yell at you. I just want you to stop worrying about how long you’re going to stay.” He took a half-step toward me, and I was so aware of his presence that it made me draw in my breath a little at having him so close.
“Cherish,” he began, and then dropped his eyes. “What you told me earlier about why you left the Ranch. It made me realize this isn’t just playing around for you. When you showed up, I was angry for the intrusion from my past. It’s not a time I like to think about.
“But,” he continued, “I know how hard it must have been for you to get out of there. Hell, it was hard enough for me as a man.” His eyes locked on mine again, burning with intensity. “It took a lot of courage, you leaving like you did. I don’t want you to feel like you have to leave until you get on your feet.”
I almost started to cry with relief. My emotions were so mixed up and confused right now with Levi standing there so close to me, I didn’t know
how to sort out everything I was feeling, exactly, but I almost ached with the longing for him to come to me, to put his arms around me. It was so distracting I could barely think. I closed my eyes and forced myself to try and shake off the feeling. “Thank you, Levi,” I said, and then laughed shakily. “It seems like all I do is thank you for things.”
“Cherish,” he said, his voice strange. “I want to do things for you.” In the silence that followed, it felt as though the temperature in the room rose ten degrees. His green eyes were locked onto mine, seeming to reach inside me and touch parts of me I hadn’t even known existed. My lips parted involuntarily, and Levi stepped slowly forward until I could feel the heat of his skin radiating toward me. The scent of leather and smoke enveloped me until I felt almost like I had after the margarita. His face towered above mine, forcing me to tilt my head back to look at him.
Levi’s eyes grew dark, almost black, and he leaned forward until his face was mere inches from mine. His lips came close to my ear. “I want to do things for you,” he repeated, but this time it meant something else entirely. His breath caressed my neck and the sensation almost made me gasp, it felt so intimate. Levi was touching me without laying a finger on me.
“Levi,” I whispered. I was absolutely frozen to the spot, from fear mixed with so much desire that it paralyzed me. I had never wanted to be touched so badly in my life. I didn’t have any idea how to react, or what to do, but I knew that if Levi kissed me or touched me in any way I might just explode. Whatever he did, I knew I would be helpless to resist anything. What was more, I realized dimly, I didn’t want to resist. I wanted him to do something, anything. I needed, more than anything, for him relieve the terrible ache between my legs.
“Levi,” I whispered again, his name now a kind of plea.
He moved just a fraction of an inch closer now, until his lips were so close to my skin that if I moved at all they would be touching me. “You’re fucking gorgeous, Cherish,” he murmured into my ear. “It’s all I can do not to take you right here.” My eyes closed at the exquisite torture, my lips parted, waiting. And then, with a low groan that was almost a growl, he moved away.
I opened my eyes, confused, to find him looking down on me, almost glowering. “You can stay here as long as you want, Cherish,” he said, his voice tense, almost angry. “The other men will leave you alone. But you need to stay away from me.”
Then he turned and strode to the door, closing it behind him.
I stood there, stupefied, my body fairly vibrating with need. I had no idea what had just happened. For a moment I just stood dumbly, and then all of the tensions of the past few minutes seemed to break over me like a wave. I sank to the couch and began to cry, confusion and frustration pulled out of me with every sob. I had thought Levi hated me, then that maybe he could at least tolerate me, and now… what was I to make of all that had just happened?
My sobs continued as tried to push away the image of what I had been waiting for Levi to do to me. I had never felt pleasure from a man before, but somehow I knew that what I wanted from him was for him to take me to bed, to push his hard length inside me. It was astonishing to realize that this was something a woman could want, and the fact that I had just understood it at the precise moment that Levi had decided to walk away from me was almost more than I could bear.
I didn’t know if he was trying to torture me or just to warn me by being so cruel, but he could hardly have hurt me more if he’d tried. I realized that I felt more alone at this moment than I had at any point since I’d left the Ranch. Levi had warned me to stay away from him, and his cruel lesson had taught me exactly that. I didn’t know how much longer I would have to stay at the Stone Kings clubhouse, but I would avoid Levi like the plague until I was able to leave.
10
Levi
It had been almost two weeks since the night I almost lost control and took Cherish to bed.
Since then, we had seen each other in passing almost every day, but she would only say the most superficial greetings to me, and she refused to meet my eye.
It was exactly what I had told her she needed to do. So why did it feel like I was in some sort of self-imposed hell?
I hadn’t had any intentions of anything sexual happening between us that night. Hell, I’d just gone up to the apartment to reassure her I was fine with her staying for a while. But the second she opened the door I was a goner. I didn’t know why it was that every single time I saw her, she somehow got more beautiful and fucking sexier than she had been the last time. She had just returned from a day out shopping with Seton, and apparently one of Seton’s friends who was a hairdresser had given Cherish a haircut. The new style was shorter, not radically different, but the cut had made her hair fuller and brought out a natural wave that made it cascade thick and full around her face. She had a little makeup on, too, just a little, and the added blush to her lips drew my eyes to them, and accentuated their fullness until I could barely look at them without imagining what they would feel like wrapped around my cock.
I thought I had steeled myself against my desire for Cherish before I walked into the apartment, but seeing her like that pretty much ambushed me, so I found myself there in the middle of the living room with a raging hard-on, with barely enough self-control to say what I had come to say and get out. I had to keep my hands fisted in my pockets to resist the urge to touch her. Even worse, it felt like she was feeling some of the same things, because her skin flushed a bit as I looked at her, her eyes dilating until I couldn’t even see the pupils anymore.
My desire to fuck her senseless was just barely under control when she started to apologize again for inconveniencing me and promise up and down she wouldn’t stay long. And I don’t know, I just snapped a little at her. I had been thinking about what she had told me concerning her escape all day, and suddenly I couldn’t stand to have her think I was mad at her for using me as a life line out of that place. So, I found myself telling her that I was glad she had come to find me, and that I admired her for having the courage to get out. In spite of all my resolve, somehow telling her that put a little crack in my armor before I even noticed it happening.
“Thank you, Levi,” she said with a little laugh. “It seems like all I do is thank you for things.”
Jesus, there was something about the breathy way she said my name. Levi… It went straight to my dick. “Cherish,” I replied before I could stop myself, “I want to do things for you.”
Then, fuck if I didn’t move toward her and almost take her in my arms before I could stop myself. And frankly, if it had been anyone but her, I probably would have just gone for it. But it was Cherish. She had just escaped a life where sex had been something that was expected to be an unpleasant duty for women. From the way she was acting, I thought she wanted me — hell, I was almost sure of it. The way she looked at me, her lips parted like they were waiting for me to kiss her, the way her breath sped up when I got closer — her entire body was sending mine signals like a fucking beacon.
But I couldn’t do it. She had to be off limits. I couldn’t remember ever wanting a woman as instantly or as much as I wanted Cherish Holmes. I was pretty sure I had never wanted any woman this much in my life. Just my fucking ridiculous luck that it had to be her. But I didn’t want to take advantage of someone like Cherish. I didn’t want to do something that would scar her for life, even more than her husband had probably scarred her. Cherish needed time to adjust to life in the outside world. As much as I hated to admit it, I cared about her. I couldn’t do something that would make it harder for her. I shouldn’t even have done as much as I did. I needed to stay away from her.
That didn’t mean that I was able to keep her completely out of my mind. Far from it. In the last couple of weeks, I woke up to thoughts of Cherish. I went to bed with thoughts of Cherish. I dreamed about her every goddamn night. And more times than I cared to admit, I found myself jacking off furiously to the thought of her. In the shower, or in bed, I would lean back against th
e tiles or the mattress and imagine pushing myself inside her hot, wet center as she wrapped her legs around me. I would stroke myself as slowly as I could to make it last, but I could never manage it for long, and soon I was coming with a loud groan, my orgasm so strong that I would see stars.
You would think that bringing myself off a few times to the image of her in my head would eventually do the trick and get my mind off of her.
You’d think fucking wrong.
Like I said, Cherish and I had exchanged little other than pleasantries in the two weeks or so since that night in the apartment. But I did manage to learn a few things about how she was progressing from what other people said. Seton and her friend Andi had managed to get Cherish an interview for a hostess position at the bar/restaurant where Andi worked, and I heard from Seton that she would be starting that job soon. I was happy for her, and broke my code of silence to stop Cherish one day as she passed by to tell her so.
“Thank you,” she said simply, avoiding my eyes. “It’s a relief to have a start at things.”
Seton had also enlisted her brother Cal’s help in giving Cherish driving lessons. Apparently, Cherish knew more or less how to drive, but hadn’t done it much, so Cal took one of our cars out a few times and helped her practice. I would see them coming back together from their sessions, Cherish laughing more and more easily at Cal’s flirtatious comments, and my hands would curl into angry fists. I liked Cal, and I knew I had no right to be jealous, but damned if at those moments I didn’t want to push him back against the wall and pound his face in for him. I wondered if something would develop between them, and had to resist the urge to take Cal aside and tell him that Cherish was a non-starter. More than once, my stomach dropped to the floor at the realization that I might have forced myself to stay away from her, only for her to start something up with another MC brother.
RIDE (A Stone Kings Motorcycle Club Romance) Page 42