"I had to run as soon as the game was over. I had a date for a matinee performance of Rent downtown." Phyllis picked up her own cup and gestured toward the porch. "Let's go outside. It's so beautiful this time of night."
Side by side, they leaned against the porch railing and breathed the rich warm scent of summer. Quinn sighed, wondering what, if anything, Honor had said to Phyllis about their relationship. She didn't want to broach the subject for fear of invading Honor's privacy, but she didn't deal well with secrets, either. And Phyllis was much too important to Honor and Arly for there to be unresolved issues between her and Quinn.
"Did you enjoy the drummers last night?" Phyllis asked conversationally.
"Very much. It was special." All of it. So very special.
Phyllis turned, edged a hip against the railing, and smiled at Quinn. "This is a very unusual situation, isn't it?"
"Yes." Rather than being uncomfortable, Quinn's uneasiness began to dissipate. It was her nature to confront issues head-on if she could. Still, it was Phyllis who had to lead this time, even as it was Honor who had to define what Quinn and she could share. If Honor had not been wounded so deeply, Quinn would have pursued her with the same intensity and focus that she did everything else in her life. But she had only to look at Honor to see her uncertainty and sense the fine edge of pain still so near the surface. Only when they touched did she know without question how right it was between them.
"If it helps," Quinn continued, "I think Honor is the most remarkable woman I've ever met and that Arly is a fantastic kid. I wouldn't do anything to hurt either one of them, ever." She held Phyllis's gaze steadily. "Or you, Phyllis, if I could possibly avoid it." But I won't let Honor go unless she tells me to leave. Not even for you.
"If Terry were alive," Phyllis said evenly, without the slightest hint of censure, "you wouldn't be here. Not like this."
"I wouldn't want to be." Quinn's voice was gentle, her expression calm.
"I know that." Phyllis smiled softly and patted Quinn's shoulder gently. "And that's exactly why I'm glad that you are."
Quinn released a long slow breath. "Thank you. That means a lot to me, but it will mean much more to Honor."
Phyllis tilted her head, regarding Quinn fondly. "You seem to understand her very well. Why is that, do you think?"
"I don't know. I felt something the minute I saw her, some... connection." She shrugged, frustrated for the first time. "I can't put words to it, but it doesn't seem like I need to. Not to me. It just feels...right."
"I think you put, just exactly the right words to it, Quinn." Phyllis picked up her coffee cup. "I expect that Honor will be right down. I'm going to go home, take a long bath, and see if I can't talk a certain gentlemen into a late-night drive."
"Good luck," Quinn called after her as Phyllis descended the back porch steps and disappeared around the corner toward her own half of the house. Soft laughter and what sounded like You, too floated back to her on the breeze.
Smiling, Quinn returned to the kitchen, rinsed her coffee mug, and turned it upside down on the drain board. When she turned around, Honor was watching her from the doorway into the hall.
"I came downstairs to tell Phyllis I was running late." Honor's voice was husky and low.
The breath flew from Quinn's chest and her stomach dropped like an elevator cut free from its cable. Honor, her hair still wet from the shower, wore a pale green silk robe that came to midthigh, belted at the waist. She was barefoot, and faint drops of moisture had soaked through the material just beneath the swell of her breasts.
Quinn could imagine the dampness anointing the smooth skin and her own burst to life, tingling with a fine sheen of perspiration. Throat suddenly dry, she gestured toward the back door. "She just left."
"Good timing." Honor leaned her shoulder against the door frame, enjoying the stunned expression on Quinn's face. Quinn had changed into black jeans and a blue cotton shirt, and she looked lean and beautiful and coiled tight as a spring. Honor had an irresistible urge to make her snap. She pushed away from the door, saying, "Arly's asleep. Once she goes down, she never wakes up."
Quinn was rooted to the spot. She had just enough time to utter "You're sure?" before Honor fisted her hands in Quinn's shirt front and spun her against the refrigerator.
"I'm very sure." Honor pressed against the length of Quinn's body and with her lips brushing Quinn's, murmured, "I've been wanting to do this since Linda's."
Then Honor took Quinn's mouth with a fury that surprised them both. Quinn closed her eyes and let Honor claim her, opening herself, body and soul. She felt the force of Honor's tongue searching her mouth for connection and met the probing thrusts with equal fervor. When Honor drove a hand between them and cupped her palm between Quinn's thighs, squeezing steadily, Quinn swallowed a moan and lifted her hips, giving Honor whatever she demanded. Honor tore her lips away, and Quinn gasped, reeling and unsteady.
"We'll be...safer, though," Honor panted, her vision dimmed by a hunger that nearly consumed her rational mind, "behind... closed doors."
"God, yes." Trembling, Quinn nodded. "I can't think..I... Jesus, I need you to touch me."
"I know, baby," Honor crooned, rocking her hips once more into Quinn as she stroked her face and ran a fingertip over her parted lips. "I know."
Quinn whimpered as another surge of painfully sweet pleasure cut through her. Desperately, she cupped Honor's hips, needing the contact. "We have to go now. I don't trust myself down here."
With her eyes never leaving Quinn's face, Honor reached back and took firm hold of her hand. "Don't worry. I've got you."
Barely aware of walking, Quinn stumbled behind as Honor led her upstairs and into her bedroom. She stood still in the center of the room as Honor engaged the lock.
"Arly 's room is at the other end of the hall," Honor said quietly as she reached for the button on Quinn's jeans. "Take your shirt off."
Quinn's hands shook so badly she could scarcely manage the simple task. The sound of her zipper sliding open made her clitoris jump and throb, and when Honor's fingers brushed against the bare skin of her stomach, she shuddered, groaning from deep in her chest. "You make me want to come when you do that."
"Mmm." Honor smiled, watching the muscles twitch in Quinn's abdomen as she continued to tease her with steady strokes of her nails on slick skin, edging lower each time until she heard Quinn stop breathing. "I could tell the first time I did it...when you got tight this way. I like doing this to you." She raised hazy eyes to Quinn "I like what touching you does to me."
"Open your robe," Quinn whispered.
Wordlessly, Honor reached for the tie at her waist and slowly slid the sliver of silk through her fingers but did not release the knot. "You do it."
Gaze locked on Honor's, Quinn reached for the belt and flicked the knot open with a deft turn of her wrist. Never breaking eye contact, she delicately slid a finger under each edge of the partially opened robe, starting at Honor's waist and traveling slowly upward, just skimming the flesh beneath. Honor quivered and moaned quietly at the feathery caresses. When Quinn reached Honor's breasts, she slipped her hands completely beneath the material and over the soft swell of flesh, rubbing the nipples into hard points beneath her palms.
"Oh." Honor jerked abruptly and put one hand on Quinn's shoulder for support, swaying slightly as the heat of arousal coalesced in the pit of her stomach. "I never knew..if you keep touching me there..."
Lifting the delicate fabric until just the peak of Honor's breast was exposed, Quinn slid one arm around Honor's waist and lowered her mouth to suck the rose-tipped nipple between her lips. When she closed her teeth gently around it and tugged, Honor made a soft mewling sound in the back of her throat that nearly caused Quinn's head to explode. Her own arousal was so razor edged that when Honor drew a hand up the inside of her thigh and stroked voluptuously through the heat between her legs, she felt the first ripples of orgasm. Her head snapped back, she fumbled for Honor's hand and rasped thro
ugh gritted teeth, "Stop."
"Oh no. Let me." Honor pressed her forehead hard to Quinn's chest, loving the ache in her nipples, yearning for Quinn's hands on them again. "Let me make you come."
"Oh, I will." Quinn laughed shakily. "And a lot sooner than you think if you're not careful."
Honor leaned her head back, her lips swollen with desire, her lids nearly closed with the weight of her arousal. "I don't want to be careful. I don't want to wait. I want you now, and then again, and then again after that."
Later, Quinn would wonder how she managed it, but in that second, she didn't even consider her actions. She tightened her hold on Honor's waist and slid the other arm behind her knees, then lifted her in one motion and carried her in three long strides to the bed. She followed Honor onto the bed as she laid her on the pillows, covering Honor's body with her own, her lips already seeking Honor's mouth. She pushed her thigh between Honor's as Honor grasped her hips. Before they were even completely recumbent, their hips were driving in the desperate search for completion, hard muscles against hot, swollen flesh.
Neither led, neither followed. Their desires were evenly matched, their passion perfectly attuned, their hunger in harmony. Quinn threaded her fingers into Honor's hair, her mouth close to Honor's ear, and whispered hoarsely, "I'm going to come. Come with me."
"Yes. Oh yes." Honor dug her fingers into the hard pumping muscles and buried her face in the curve of Quinn's neck as the pleasure took her. When she felt the reins of her control snap with the exquisite rise of her orgasm, she cried out softly, muffling the sound against Quinn's skin.
Quinn stiffened, the sound and feel of Honor climaxing igniting her own release. Biting back a sharp cry, she came in Honor's arms, knowing in her heart that she had come home.
* * * * *
Honor thought she must have drifted, because she had no idea of the hour when she opened her eyes. This time, the feel of Quinn beside her was not a surprise, but it was still a wonder. Sometime, after they had both collapsed, Quinn had shifted onto her back and Honor now lay with her cheek against Quinn's shoulder and a thigh across Quinn's. Quinn's breathing was steady beneath her ear and the beat of her heart a quiet reassurance. Honor's limbs felt heavy and a ripple, of arousal still pulsed inside. Totally satisfied, she was still aware of a persistent hunger. Not just for the physical pleasure, which pulsed in her depths like a distant drumbeat, but for the way Quinn filled the places within her that had been so empty for so long. She shivered, frightened by how quickly and how easily Quinn had come into her heart.
Softly, Quinn stroked Honor's hair. "Cold?"
"No," Honor said, her throat tight. She reached beside her for the crumpled sheet and drew it over them both. "I didn't think I could do that."
"What?" Quinn circled her palm down the center of Honor's back, hoping to soothe her. Despite the fact that Honor lay curled against her, warm and pliant in the aftermath of their lovemaking, there was an unmistakable edge of disquiet in Honor's voice.
"Come with anyone that way." Let you in so deeply that your blood beat in my veins, that your passion filled my body, that your release was my pleasure. "I've been close before...but I've never..." She pressed her face to Quinn's shoulder, closing her eyes tightly. "Oh God, Quinn. What's happening?"
"We're discovering us."
Us. The very concept seemed foreign and threatening. To want again, to need again. Honor trembled. "Quinn, I don't think I can."
"It's all right." Quinn tightened her hold but kept her voice calm and steady. "I won't hurt you. I promise."
"Don't. Don't make promises."
Gently, Quinn lifted Honor's face until their eyes met. "I won't, if you don't want me to. But saying the words or not saying them won't change what's in my heart."
"I don't know what I want," Honor whispered. "I don't know what I can give."
"That's all right. We'll find out together." Quinn raised her head enough to see the faint red glow of the bedside clock. She pressed her lips to Honor's forehead and sighed. "I should go home."
"No." Honor drew even closer, her grip suddenly fierce. "I know it's selfish, but I need you here with me a while longer. I can't...everything is open inside of me right now. If you go, I'm afraid I'll bleed."
"It's not selfish to need me, sweetheart. I need you—more than you can know." Quinn ached to ease the pain she heard in Honor's voice, felt in her trembling body. Knowing that she couldn't, she kissed her gently before easing Honor's head back down against her shoulder. "I'll stay. I want to be here for you, for just as long as you want me."
Honor closed her eyes, afraid to embrace the truth of Quinn's words, trying instead to believe that the present was all she wanted.
Chapter Twenty-Six
W ith a gasp, Quinn came sharply awake in the dark, her skin still tingling from the electrical discharge. She hadn't felt the cardiac irregularity that had triggered her defibrillator, but her body had registered the erratic heartbeat followed by the synchronizing current. Quinn was instantly thankful that Honor, still curled against her, had not been awakened by the shock. She did not want Honor to worry about what could not be changed.
The third time this week. Christ. It's supposed to be getting better, not worse.
Turning her head carefully, Quinn checked the clock once again and saw that it was after five. Now that her breathing had returned to normal and the writhing anxiety in the pit of her stomach had abated, she gently eased away from Honor and toward the edge of the bed.
Unconsciously sensing Quinn's withdrawal, Honor tightened her grip and then rose through the layers of sleep to open her eyes and inquire groggily, "What are you doing?"
"I have to go home,". Quinn replied in a whisper. She stroked her fingers over Honor's cheek and then into her hair while leaning down to kiss her possessively. "I shouldn't be here when Phyllis arrives and Arly wakes up."
Fully awake now, Honor sat up in bed, the sheet falling away to expose her nakedness. "God, is it morning already?"
"Just about." Sitting on the edge of the bed and casting a glance around for her clothes, Quinn sighed. "Where the hell are my pants?"
Honor smiled, remembering her pleasure in stripping those jeans off Quinn's hips the night before. Still hungry for the touch of her, she leaned against Quinn's back, her cheek on Quinn's shoulder, and circled one arm around her waist. She fanned her hand over Quinn's stomach and began to rub slowly up and down, using her nails intermittently to coax the muscles to twitch.
"On the floor somewhere," Honor replied languidly.
Quinn groaned. "You can't do that. It makes me so hot I can't think."
"Really?" Honor's tone was completely ingenuous. "I never noticed that."
"Like hell." In defense, Quinn grabbed Honor's hand and stilled the torturously wonderful caresses. "We don't have time."
Time, It echoed in Honor's mind. Too little time. Lost time. Gone before it was time. She curled her other arm around Quinn's waist and brought both palms up to cradle Quinn's breasts. She didn't caress her or tease her now, but merely cleaved as tightly to her as she could. As if holding Quinn within the circle of her body could make time stop.
Quinn raised her hands to cover Honor's, linking their fingers against her skin. "What is it?"
Wordlessly, eyes tightly closed, Honor merely shook her head and pressed her cheek harder to the back of Quinn's shoulder.
"Sweetheart, I can feel you hurting. Tell me."
Honor's voice was a whisper, the words so hard to admit. "I don't want you to go. I don't want this night to end."
Surprised not only at the sentiment but also by the admission, Quinn turned slightly until she could cup her fingers beneath Honor's chin. "Why? What do you think will happen?"
"I don't know," Honor replied, her eyes dark pools of anguish. "All I know is that you're here right now and that later...you might not be."
...hit her in the back of the neck. Just like that. From one second to the next...she was here, and then...she was
n 't.
"Oh no," Quinn murmured, pain lancing through her. She framed Honor's face in gentle hands and kissed her forehead, then her closed lids, then her faintly trembling lips. "I'm going to go home and shower, and in a few hours, I'd like to come back so that you and Arly and I can go to the zoo together. Tomorrow, I'll see you at work and then in the evening at soccer practice. Some night later in the week, whenever Phyllis is free to watch Arly, I'd like it if you'd go to the movies with me. Next weekend, I'll coach at the game and then we can all rehash our victory at Robin and Linda's. That's what's going to happen after I leave here this morning."
"You make it sound so simple." Honor opened her eyes and searched Quinn's, finding the steady calm she was coming to rely upon.
The corner of Quinn's mouth lifted into a lazy grin. "Not simple. Not even routine. But certain."
"You forgot something," Honor whispered, trailing her fingers along the edge of Quinn's jaw and then down her throat until she pressed her palm against the center of Quinn's chest.
"What?" Quinn's voice's was husky, her blood rising as it always did when Honor touched her.
"The part when we're alone, here or at your apartment, and we're inside each other's body." Inside each other's hopes and dreams.
"Oh, no. I didn't forget." Quinn shuddered, arousal leaping into her stomach and threatening to erupt. "That's there, always there, right at the heart of us."
Us. That terrible, frightening, exhilarating word.
Honor shivered now. She leaned into Quinn and kissed her, a deep, slow, probing kiss that she continued until she was positive that she would carry the taste and feel of her all day. Then she drew back, trembling. "You should go now. Go now, because I'm aching for you."
Quinn had to grit her teeth to tear herself away. Even when she was beyond arm's reach, she could feel the pull of Honor's touch upon her skin. Hoarsely, she said, "I can feel you inside of me right now. I want to feel you that way all day, every day." Every day for the rest of my life. Say yes, Honor. Tell me you want that, too.
Radclyffe - Fated Love Page 22