Her name on Ronnie’s lips brought back memories of him repeating it over and over as he’d made love to her what seemed like a lifetime ago.
“Would you like to sit down?” she asked.
“I shouldn’t stay. You’re probably pretty tired after yesterday and then last night. How is your mama?” he asked.
“They got her back to the nursing home and are putting her in a different wing, one with locked doors. I hate to do that to her, but what else can I do? She would have died out there if you hadn’t…” Her eyes met his and he stared at her in silence until she added, “She was sleeping when I left. They gave her something for the pain and said she would probably be out of it for most of the day. I am going to go back tomorrow to see how she is doing.”
“Did you eat yet?” he asked.
“I only got home an hour ago, and I needed a shower more than anything else. I should probably make some lunch. Are you hungry?” she asked.
“I’ll make some lunch for you and Addie. You look really tired. Why don’t you go lie down for a while? I’ll have Addie bring food up to you after a bit,” he said, kneeling down in front of her so they were on the same level.
“We aren’t your responsibility anymore, Ronnie,” she said quietly. Even though it needed to be said she wished she could have waited a little longer to say it. It felt so good to be here with him, so close, talking. It felt right—like the perfect fit—and she hated to break that feeling.
He stared at her for a moment. “Today, when I couldn’t find Addie, I felt a little…crazy because I didn’t know where she was or what she was doing. I figure you probably feel that way, too, sometimes, with your job and then your mama and everything. Anyway, I understand that now, and I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I should have told you about the cheerleading thing.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked quietly.
Sighing, he stood back up and pushed his large hands into the front pockets of his jeans. “A grown man doesn’t coach cheerleading for teenage girls, especially when he doesn’t even have kids. It just seemed weird. And I didn’t want you to think I wasn’t, well, manly. I know it is pretty hypocritical to say this, but cheerleading is normally for girls.”
He looked like he might want to say more about his reasons, but he was cut off by her giggle. The sound just kind of slipped out. Standing before her in his jeans and bomber jacket he was everything that was masculine. With his large build and rugged good looks there wasn’t anything about him that wasn’t manly. For him to assume she would think less of him for participating in a female-dominated sport, especially since it was for her child, was amusingly ridiculous.
“There is nothing about you that isn’t all male. I just wish I could have participated, too, by hearing about what she did at practice. What she talked about with her friends. Who she was hanging around. It’s hard to get her to talk to me now that she’s older. She wants her independence. I know that, but it doesn’t make it any easier to let her grow up.”
“She does seem grown up in some ways, but in other ways not so much. This boy on the cheer squad, Chase, likes her, but she thinks she likes the quarterback on the football team, who is a real boob. She talks a good talk to her girlfriends about boys and stuff but I don’t think she’s that kind of serious about anyone, thankfully. Her friends are good kids. None of them seem mean or like a bunch of partiers,” he said. “Finding out about Buck earlier, she sounded just like a five-year-old, whining and begging for what she wants. I think you have a few years left of her still being a kid.”
“You’re not really going to give up Sergeant Buck, are you?” she asked quietly. The dog was as big a part of Ronnie’s manliness as the clothes he wore or his sexy five o’clock shadow. Addie was also right that the overly large dog had in fact saved Kayla’s mother’s life.
Ronnie sat down on the sofa next to her, rested his elbows on his knees and rubbed his hands over his face. Normally he was so together. She often found herself jealous of his ability to organize and run things with what seemed like no effort. But the man before her now appeared stressed, which was wholly uncharacteristic of the Ronnie she’d come to know.
“I’ve got to do something. Buck has been staying with Rusty since we got out of the service. I feel like I am holding Rusty back from traveling or doing other things with his life because Buck is staying with him. I’ve tried to convince the landlord at my apartment building to let me keep Buck there, with no luck. I get why the landlord keeps saying no but…” He shrugged. “I don’t know the area that well but most places I’ve looked at won’t accept pets. Maybe I need to consider giving him to a family who can provide him with a permanent home. Rusty’s out of town visiting his family for the holidays and I can stay at his place with Buck, but what happens when Rusty comes back? I can’t expect him to keep my dog forever. I’ve got to do something.”
Could she possibly let Sergeant Buck stay here, in her home? He was the only dog she’d ever felt remotely comfortable around, but she always knew he’d eventually go home. If he lived here, there would be times when she’d have to be here with him alone. Could she do that?
“Look, Addie’s out of school for winter break. If it would help you, Buck can stay here until after the holidays. That would at least give you some time to find another apartment or find him a permanent home,” she offered.
“Are you sure you can handle that? I would hate to think of you passing out every few minutes only to wake up, see him lying there half-asleep, and then pass out again.” He grinned.
She had forgotten just how good Ronnie looked when he teased her. His blue eyes sparkled. He took her breath away.
“You said that you outrank him so I should only pass out at your feet, remember? So I think I’ll be okay for a couple of weeks,” she said. “I do have a favor to ask in return, though.”
He ran one rough finger across her lips and then looked into her eyes. “Whatever you need.”
The simple feel of his hands on her skin unleashed a raging inferno deep within her. She closed her eyes, both to bask in the warm glow he created with his touch and to try to collect herself. She should feel foolish at her reaction to him but she had stopped caring about what she should and shouldn’t feel, or think, or do where he was concerned.
“Open your eyes, Kayla. Tell me what you need from me,” he said quietly, his mouth close to her ear.
Forcing her eyes open, she willed him to kiss her, but he didn’t. After a few moments, she finally choked out, “Coach Addie’s team, at least through the state competition. It means the world to her.”
“I have school some nights, so you might have to fill in for half of the practice on those nights,” he said, continuing to drink her in with his eyes.
“Okay,” she breathed.
“Anything else you need?” he asked, inching his mouth closer to hers.
“Yes, Buck! You get to stay here with me! Ain’t that great?” Addie said, startling both Kayla and Ronnie.
Ronnie turned and frowned at Addie, who smiled sweetly. “Sorry, Ronnie, but old people making out…I can’t deal with that. I think I threw up a little in my mouth.”
“I imagine it would be much like the thought of you dating Tyler,” he replied sarcastically, standing up.
“So now that finding a place for Sergeant Buck to crash has been covered, can you stay for lunch or dinner?” Addie asked him.
“What is it that you want me to make for dinner, Addie?” he asked in resignation.
Watching the two of them interact was very telling. They were obviously comfortable around each other. He wasn’t really a parental figure but he was a respected adult. Kayla could understand how he knew things about her daughter that she didn’t.
“Chicken bake stuff?” Addie asked.
“Okay, but I don’t work here anymore, as your mother so elegantly pointed out, so you have to help,” he said to Addie with a smile. “Why don’t you start with thawing out two big chicken breasts and making su
re there is either frozen or fresh broccoli?”
Addie headed back toward the kitchen with Buck and Ronnie following behind her. Kayla headed into the kitchen as well and watched Ronnie pull out dishes while Addie pulled out food. A few minutes later, Addie put water in one bowl and, after digging through a cabinet and finding a sealed baggie containing dog food, dumped some of the kibble into another one.
“Here ya go, Sergeant Buck,” Addie crooned, placing the bowls on the floor near a cabinet as though she’d done it a million times before.
Kayla had missed this just as much as she’d missed Ronnie—family time. His kind of support was incredible and made her want him all the more. With him working side by side with her daughter, Kayla couldn’t keep her eyes off him. He moved with confidence and ease. His broad shoulders and wide back bunched and rolled as he moved around the kitchen.
Addie began sautéing the chicken in a pan with her back to where Kayla sat at the table. Ronnie glanced over his shoulder to ensure Addie was preoccupied and then walked over to Kayla. Leaning down close to her, he whispered, “I think you should help, too, since you don’t pay for my services anymore.”
She smiled and joined the preparation. Dinner was filled with laughter, talking and good food, and Kayla found herself disappointed when Ronnie left not long after it was over. A small part of her sensed that he was waiting for her to say something, she just wasn’t sure what. Even though Addie was apparently fully aware that there was something between Kayla and Ronnie, family time wasn’t the opportunity for discussing the romantic issues that still lay between them.
* * *
Ronnie set up a time for the kids to meet at the high school gym to practice at least every other day. Kayla went with Addie and watched Ronnie’s interaction with the kids. He had a natural ease with them and they responded with equal parts respect and awe. Watching him with the team prompted her to call the principal and ask if there were any positions available that would allow Ronnie to work with the kids at the school.
She was also getting used to Sergeant Buck being at the house. He had slept on the floor of Addie’s room the first night. The second night she’d heard him whining at Addie’s door and after lying awake for an hour worrying about him she’d finally pulled on her big-girl panties, hooked him to his leash and taken him outside.
When he came back in he made a beeline for her room, where he settled down on the rug at the end of her bed. Amazingly, that now seemed to be his preferred place to sleep. He had also taken to following her around the house. Slowly, she was adjusting to him always being a step behind her.
Sergeant Buck had also chosen his preferred seat in the car, which happened to be right next to her in the front passenger seat, forcing Addie to ride in the back. It was no less than Addie deserved for offering to keep the dog in the first place. By midweek, Kayla found she was the one feeding and watering Buck and walking him, as well. By the end of the week, she felt at ease, even when the dog insisted on sitting right next to her at all times.
Addie had taken to trying to talk Ronnie into coming over for dinner every night. Her obvious attempts at playing matchmaker were sweet but embarrassing. Kayla could feel that there was something left unsaid between her and Ronnie but she wasn’t sure what or how to approach it. With Addie on break from school, and no time to get Ronnie alone, it was even harder to bring up the subject.
That didn’t stop him from using his normal arsenal of sexy weapons to stir her blood, from brushing up against her to leaning in as close as possible, to watching her instead of the movie that Addie had picked out. By the end of practice on Friday she was crazy for him. She decided she would catch him afterward and ask him if she could just call him later…to talk.
When he finally called an end to practice, she winced when Addie approached her before she could make it over to where he stood.
“Mom, I was wondering if I could spend the night with Kaitlyn tonight, but I also know it would be your first time alone with Sergeant Buck,” Addie said hesitantly. “I could see if Ronnie can take him back over to his friend’s house for the night.”
“If you go to Kaitlyn’s house, who will take Buck outside when he needs to use the restroom? Who will feed and water him and walk him in the morning?” Kayla asked sarcastically.
“Sorry, Mom, but he likes you better. It’s not my fault! Dogs pick their owners. Please? Can I go?” Addie replied.
“She’s right, dogs do pick their owners,” Ronnie said from behind her just as Buck rubbed against her leg and then sat down right next to her. Ronnie handed her the dog’s leash.
“I suppose. You’ll need to call me tomorrow before you head home since I am going over to see Grandma in the morning and may not be back yet,” she replied.
Addie hugged her and headed out of the gym arm in arm with Kaitlyn, with Chase and another boy following behind them.
“Don’t worry. I warned Chase that if he plans on pursuing Addie, he better be a model citizen. He’s not really a bad kid, and he has good intentions where she’s concerned…from what I can tell.” They headed out of the gym together, stopping to shut off the lights and lock up the building.
Now was her chance. “Are you busy this evening?” she asked.
“Just schoolwork…unless you can talk me into doing something else,” he said with his grin.
“We could order takeout and go back to my house…maybe talk?” she asked, trying desperately to ignore his grin and the fact that his eyes were watching her mouth. When he didn’t respond she said, “Ronnie?”
“What are your intentions? Are they honorable? Can I trust you, Kayla?” He leaned down close enough that she was forced to look in his eyes.
Swallowing loudly, she said, “Yeah, I just thought we should talk….”
“Just talk?” He leaned even closer to her. “If that’s what you want.”
He kept closing the distance between them, and she waited anxiously for him to kiss her. She missed the feel of his mouth on hers. She could hardly breathe. Then she felt his large hand close over hers and take the leash from her. He backed away with yet another grin.
“I’ll take Buck and meet you at the house. Take your time getting the food since he probably needs one of those trips outside you mentioned earlier.”
She watched as he crossed the parking lot toward his truck with Buck following behind him. Realizing she was standing stupidly against the door watching him like a stalker, she forced her eyes away from his backside and headed to her own vehicle. Pulling into the lot of a local restaurant, she had barely parked when her cell phone rang.
It was the nursing home. Something in her didn’t want to answer it. She’d just been there this morning and her mother had been fine. Calling now meant that was no longer the case. A shiver slid down her spine.
“Ms. Clark, this is Mr. Wilkerson. Your mother is being taken by ambulance to the hospital. One of the orderlies on duty found her unresponsive. Please be careful on your drive to the hospital and let us know if there is anything you need from us.”
The sick feeling in her gut only increased as she backed out and headed in the direction of the hospital. Somehow she made it to the emergency room entrance, though she couldn’t say exactly how. She was told to have a seat in the waiting room. How long she sat there in shock—somehow knowing—she wasn’t sure.
When reality sank in and she finally felt the burn of tears she dug her cell phone out and called Ronnie. When he answered she simply said, “I’m at the hospital. They found my mom unresponsive. I need you, Ronnie.”
Not long after, he came through the doors of the emergency entrance. She stood up and he folded her into his arms. He was warm and wonderful. His arms were a comfort she felt in her heart, which opened up, allowing him in and her tears out. She cried and held on to him until she heard Ronnie talking to another man.
“Come on, Kayla, we’re going to another room to talk with the doctor,” Ronnie said against her hair, and then he guided her with his arm ar
ound her shoulders.
When they made it into the room, Ronnie sat down on a small sofa, pulled her down next to him and again put his arm around her shoulders. The doctor sat down in a chair near the sofa and pulled a box of tissues off a small end table. He handed the box to Ronnie, who offered it to her. She took a few tissues and then braced for what she knew was coming.
“Ms. Clark, I’m Dr. Harrison. I evaluated your mother when she was brought in this evening. I’m sorry to tell you this, but your mother passed away. She was unresponsive and pronounced deceased upon arrival to the emergency room. All preliminary appearances point to a stroke. We will make arrangements for transport of your mother’s body in accordance with her will, which we have on file. Please take all the time you need in here. I will leave instructions for the funeral home to contact you to begin making arrangements. I’m sorry for your loss.”
She had known this day was coming ever since her mother was first diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, but it didn’t make hearing the news any easier. Addie had to be told, but how did you tell a child their only living grandparent was gone, just days before Christmas? There wasn’t really any other family to notify. Her mother’s sister was in a nursing home in Oklahoma and too ill to travel for a funeral, and Kayla hadn’t spoken to her two cousins since she was little. Her father had been an only child. Other than the members of the church her mother used to attend, she and Addie were it.
“There’s no one to call. Addie and I are basically her only family. She was a postal carrier. Everyone on her route knew her but none of them really knew her. She was so great. It seems there should be more people to mourn for her. A daughter and a granddaughter who was born out of wedlock shouldn’t be the only people at the funeral of a woman like her,” Kayla whispered into Ronnie’s chest.
“You and Addie are the only ones she would care about being there. She told me how proud she was of you that day I went to check on her. The day I told you that she was so coherent. She told me that she knew you visited her and that Addie didn’t. I promised her I would bring Addie to see her, and I did. You guys were the only ones she mentioned…other than your dad,” he said. “A person’s impact isn’t measured by the number of people who show up to their funeral. It’s measured by how much those who do show up loved them. Quality over quantity is what is important.”
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