by Megg Jensen
He squinted his eyes, and then crossed the space between us with one large step. His fingers swept my hair, untangling the strands from the pins. He pulled them out and tossed them on the floor. “I like you just the way you were. You don’t need to do that for me.”
His hands traveled through my hair, stopping at the back of my neck. He grabbed my hair gently, pulling it down, forcing my face up to his. “Tell me what you want.”
“Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss m-” Chase’s lips fell on mine. I gasped as his lips moved over my neck. His hands pulled my top away from my neck, exposing the skin on my shoulder as he burrowed his head in the hollow of my throat, sending shivers running down my spine.
“You are so beautiful,” he said, coming up for air.
I ran my hands over his chest. With my help, his shirt went up and over his shoulders. I tossed it on the floor next to my discarded hairpins. Chase bent over, sweeping me up in his arms. My boots dangled in the air until he gently lowered me on the bed.
My hands snaked along his flat stomach. My mouth played with his neck. His body responded, pushing up against me until I felt like my chest was going to burst.
“It’s okay to touch me,” I whispered into his lips. Chase’s hands weren’t exploring my body like I wanted them to.
He pulled back, scooting a few inches away from me on the bed. “Not yet.”
“Not yet?” I was incredulous. All of this buildup for nothing? I wrapped my legs around his waist and reached out for his shoulders. “Are you sure?”
Chase’s smile blossomed. My heart fluttered. I’d finally opened up to him, asked him to kiss me, and all he wanted to do was grin. I couldn’t believe it. I glanced down, noticing my silver hair resting on my shoulders. Maybe it was too late. I’d waited too long and he’d realized I wasn’t the same girl he’d fallen for.
“Is it me?” I couldn’t look at him. I didn’t want to see his smile fade and his eyes drop when he admitted he no longer found me attractive. Or maybe my kisses weren’t what he’d thought they would be.
His palm rested on my cheek, but he didn’t urge my face upward. “It’s you. Yes. It’s everything about you.”
My stomach dropped to my feet. I should have known I wasn’t loveable anymore. I’d changed too much. I was a darker, harder version of the girl he’d had visions about. I wasn’t someone he wanted anymore.
“Oh, Lianne.”
His thumb caressed my cheek. I wanted to hold back the tears, but they dropped, one by one, on his hand. It was too much. Everything had crashed on me. I couldn’t handle all of the responsibility on my own. Chase was my rock. The only one I could truly trust. And now I might have lost him. It would have been better if I hadn’t asked him to kiss me, if I’d kept our relationship platonic.
“I want you more than words can say.” He sighed. “If I thought it was right, I would make you mine right here and now. But that’s not what I want for us.”
I grabbed his hand and placed it on my chest. “Can you feel how hard my heart is beating?”
He nodded. His hand was so close to my breast. The tension in his arm was palpable.
“I haven’t felt this way in a very long time. I want this. It’s okay.”
Chase pulled his hand back and shook his head. “Not like this. I want to court you, Lianne. I want to ask you to be my wife. I want a proper wedding.” His voice dropped. “I want to have a proper wedding night.”
I grabbed his face between my hands, making sure he was focused on me. “There may not be time.”
His eyes searched mine. He couldn’t know my urgency wasn’t just because I could no longer resist him. If we didn’t take advantage of these few hours together, we might lose each other forever.
“What are you going to do?”
“Wren’s warnings. Eloh’s visions,” I whispered, my eyes downcast. “It’s coming sooner than you think and I don’t know if anyone of us will come out the same.”
“Is there something you know that I don’t? Have you figured out what you need to do?” He took my hands in his. I shook, even more afraid of what I was about to propose to the council. I’d lose Chase’s love. I would be nothing more than a stranger to him. After everything that had happened, I was no longer sure I could go through with it.
“I have.” Yet no matter my feelings, I knew I’d do what needed to be done. Everything I’d done in the last year had been for everyone else. I looked him solidly in the eyes. “This may be the only chance we ever have to be together.”
“Tell me, Lianne. What’s going to happen?”
“You don’t know?” It was a question I needed to ask. Chase had been remarkably quiet about his visions recently.
He shook his head. “Since Bryden’s death, I haven’t had one vision about you. Our future isn’t clear. Why is that?” It was almost like he knew I had the answer to the question. What could have been a rhetorical remark on any other day hung between us like a double-edge sword.
“I’m going to attempt to sever everyone.” My voice wavered. I’d been too detached, too busy focused on how it would affect everyone else. My own memories and feelings hadn’t seemed paramount. I glanced at Chase’s heaving chest and knew that voluntarily giving him up would be one of the more painful things I’d ever chosen to do. I’d had to give up Bryden once, but deep down I knew there was a chance we’d be together again. This time, there would be no going back.
Chase pulled me into his arms. I buried my face in his chest, breathing him in. I wanted to imprint everything I could in my mind, not take one second for granted.
“How long until you set it in motion?”
My gaze fell to the window. “Only a few hours. I have to meet Johna at her chambers right before sunset. She’ll take me to the council, where hopefully I’ll get the answers I need.”
He pushed me away, gently, then leaned down and kissed me. Tingles danced along my skin, helping me put aside everything I’d just told him.
“Chase.” I put my finger on his lips. “When I said I loved you, it wasn’t because I wanted one last fling before everything changes. I meant it, with all of my heart. I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t.” I thrusted my whole body against him, tightening my legs around his waist.
Chase groaned deep in his throat.
“Please, don’t make me wait. We may never have this chance again. If I have to leave this life behind, I don’t want to wonder what it would have been like to finally surrender to you.”
His hands travelled down my back, resting just above my hips. “If you wish it, I’m more than happy to fulfill your request, milady.”
I undid the laces on the front of my dress, remembering the first time I’d been with Bryden. We loved each other, just as much as Chase and I did now. A feeling of peace washed over me.
But all thoughts of my past fell away, as the present became the only part of my life I knew. Chase’s hands caressed every part of my body. I took one last glance over his shoulder at the high sun, closed my eyes, and gave in to the passion I’d tried so hard to ignore.
Chapter Twenty-Four
I sat at the table, a dressing robe draped over my shoulders. Chase stood behind me, digging his thumbs into the muscles on my upper back. I brushed my hair. Looking at myself in the mirror, I felt beautiful for the first time since I’d changed. Chase’s love and attentiveness boosted my sagging confidence. I knew, maybe for the first time in my entire life, that I was going to do something bold that just might save the world from further destruction.
“You’ll never convince them that this is the right thing to do.” Chase leaned over and kissed my shoulder.
“That’s what Johna said.” I tried to ignore his wandering lips, reminding myself I had to leave soon or I’d miss my opportunity to speak with the council. “It doesn’t matter, though. I have to push this through.”
Chase settled on the floor next to me, running his fingers up and down my legs. “I saw a severing once. It took a circle of powerfully gifted people to do
it. How do you think you’re going to sever everyone in the world?”
It was a fair question, one I had no answer to. All I had was a theory. I had no idea how I would ever put it into practice. “I hoped someone on the council would know how to do it.”
His lips touched my knee, sending shivers through my body. “Chase stop it.” I reached down and slapped him lightly. “I have to get ready. Johna’s leaving with or without me.”
“I’m coming too. Is that okay?”
Relief replaced the tingling sensation. I’d wanted to ask him, but I didn’t want to place him in an awkward situation. From what I’d gathered, the council was nearly as important as the ruling class here. I wasn’t sure exactly where Chase stood in the hierarchy. The last thing I wanted to do was compromise him or his family.
“Yes. I want you there. Are you sure?”
“I could give a damn what those people on the council think. You’re the most important thing to me. I’ll support you no matter what they say. If they turn you down, we’ll figure this out on our own.” His eyes lingered below my neck. The robe was just barely covering my body.
“Eyes up here.” I snapped my fingers in his face.
“Sorry.” A grin crept across his face. “Well, not completely.” He reached up, but I swatted his hand away.
“I need to get dressed.”
“Do you want help?” He cocked one eyebrow.
My fingers played across his chest. He’d put his pants on, but had waited to shrug into his shirt. “Yes. I mean, no, we have to leave in just minutes.”
I gestured toward the window at the nearly setting sun. Chase sighed and stood up. He sauntered over to the bed where his shirt still lay on the floor, crumpled up in a hurried mess. His biceps flexed as he pulled it over his head and chest. Disappointed I’d lost the view I’d enjoyed so much, I stood up. I took quick steps toward him, planted both of my palms on his chest, and pushed him toward the door.
“I need to get dressed now.” I pushed until he stumbled backward. “I’ll meet you at Johna’s chamber.”
“You’re kicking me out? Just when the view is getting good?” He waggled his eyebrows at me.
“Let me get dressed in peace.”
“Don’t you need me here to tie or button something?”
I laughed. “No, I don’t. Now get out!”
He wrapped hands around my waist, pulling me up to his height, my tiptoes just barely grazing the tile. His lips took mine and I surrendered. Then he pulled back and lowered me gently to the floor. “Stay,” I said in a breathy whisper.
“No, I’ve got to go. See you soon at Johna’s chamber.”
Before I could stop him for one last kiss, he spun around and left the room.
“Men.” I rolled my eyes. Grabbing my dress from the floor, I shimmied in it. The orange beams of sunset streamed into my room. I worked faster, pulling on my stockings and boots. My fingers fumbled with the laces. I didn’t care if they were perfect as long as nothing fell off.
I flicked my fingers, opening a portal. Instead of landing in Johna’s chamber, I emerged just outside her door. Chase stood against the wall, perfect as usual.
“Hi,” he said. His demeanor had totally changed. He was back to acting just like he always had around me. Caring, but not too personal. I was relieved. I didn’t want everyone knowing what had just happened between us. Then he winked. I felt a blush creep up my cheeks.
“Hi,” I said back, stupidly, unable to think of anything more coherent.
Chase walked past me and knocked on Johna’s door. I wanted to reach out, touch his shoulders, but I held back. I had no idea it would be so hard to control myself in public.
The door opened. Johna looked at Chase. Then she looked at me. A smile blossomed. “So Lianne told you?”
“Johna!” I squeaked. Did she have to be obvious?
“What? I’m glad you told Chase to come with you to the council meeting.” Her eyes were wide. Innocent. I didn’t buy it for a second. “Now come in, come in.”
I shuffled into her chamber behind Chase. “When do we leave?” The butterflies had taken up residence in my stomach, reminding me that I was about to embark on a huge undertaking.
Johna closed the door behind us, locked it, and then flicked her fingers, opening a portal. “Now.”
She stepped through. I glanced at Chase. “You first,” he said, holding out an arm.
I hesitated. I didn’t know where the portal lead, or who sat on the council. All I knew was that I had to take a stand and suggest the one thing no one would understand or agree to.
“You’ll do fine.” Chase planted a chaste kiss on my cheek. “Now get in there and rip their heads off.”
I smiled, feeling my resolve harden. With a slight nod, I stepped through the portal.
I emerged into a cave littered with stalagmites. Light drops of water echoed in the dark cavern. The faint light of candles danced upon the rocky walls. My breath caught in my throat as I remembered the cave my mother had trapped me in. Where she’d tried to take my magic. Where she’d killed Bryden. My heart skittered out of time. I reached out behind me, flailing for Chase’s comforting grasp.
He stepped through. Seeing my discomfort, he grabbed my hand and squeezed. “It’s not the same place.”
He knew. Of course he knew immediately how I’d feel.
“This is a cave my mother found years ago. It’s safe from the enemy. From all of our enemies. It’s not the same place your mother took you.”
My breath slowly regulated itself. Breathing in, pausing. Breathing out, pausing. Moment by moment my heart slowly regulated itself.
Johna shuffled over to me. “Dear child, I had forgotten your mother had taken you to a cave. Chase is right, this is not the same place. You’re completely safe here. It’s protected by magic far greater than anything your mother ever had. Our combined gifts work together to shield it from the world. There are evil, dark memories here. We must keep everyone away from it. We choose to meet here because we know we won’t be disturbed.”
“It’s okay,” I said. I meant it too. I couldn’t allow my past to stop me from doing what I needed to do. “Where is everyone else?”
Johna nodded ahead. “In the chamber to the left. I thought it might be better if I went in and announced you to them, instead of having you just appear in the room.”
“That’s probably a good idea.” I looked to Chase and he shook his head in agreement. “We’ll wait here until you tell us to come in.”
“I’ll be right back.” Johna stared deep into my eyes. “Don’t let them intimidate you, Lianne. When you come in, show your confidence.” She squeezed my arm, leaving us alone in the cave.
“Can I have just a moment?” I asked Chase. He stepped back, dropping my hand.
I closed my eyes and dropped into deep lunge. Moving through the motions of my forms, I punched and blocked, centering myself. The meditation worked, allowing my body to relax. My mind quickly followed suit.
When I arrived back at the same place I’d started, my arms hung at my sides, fists tight. I took one last breath, letting it out slowly as I opened my eyes.
“Better?” Chase asked. He stood against the wall of the cave, his arms crossed over his chest.
“Much. Thanks. I’m centered now. I can do what needs to be done.”
“I know you can.” He sauntered over to me, wrapping his arms around my waist. I felt my heart start to flutter again. Damn him. He’d just ruined all the peace I’d brought to my body. At least this time it wasn’t fear coursing through my blood.
I reached behind my waist, grabbing his hands, and forcing him to release his grasp on me.
“Later?” He kissed my neck, lingering for a moment longer than necessary. I wondered why I’d waited to so long to tell him how I felt. I’d been missing out.
“If there is a later for us. If we remember…” My voice trailed off, reminding us both what was at stake tonight.
“I will always remember yo
u. Nothing can change that.” His thumb stroked my jawbone.
I wanted it to be true, but after seeing my mother, I knew that the moment I’d put my plan into motion, I’d lose Chase forever. “I will never forget you.” I tried to make the lie soothing. We were fooling ourselves, but it was worth it. There was nothing wrong with hope. We wouldn’t remember, but maybe there would be an unspoken bond or attraction between us.
“They’re ready for you,” Johna called to us from the other end of the dark chamber.
Chase let go of my hand, gesturing for me to go first. I smiled, and then nodded my head. We walked silently toward the hole in the cave wall. I felt calm, centered. I could do this.
Johna stood to the side as I walked into the small room. Nine pairs of eyes bored into me, poking holes in every ounce of confidence I had. In the center sat Chase’s mother. I’d been under the impression everyone on the council had magic, but it appeared the one person who would probably oppose anything I wanted sat in a position of leadership.
“What is it, Lianne?” Reychel asked, clearly annoyed. “Son? Johna said you have something to ask of the council. I assure you, there’s nothing you can ask that we will agree to.”
I cleared my throat. My feet were planted firmly on the ground, but I felt my knees waver. Instead of torturing myself by staring down Reychel, I looked at the other members of the council. Most stared at me with vacant eyes. Warmth danced in the eyes of one - Chase’s father, Mark. I focused on him, knowing that he’d always given me the benefit of the doubt.
“Has Reychel told all of you that I have been having visions of Eloh?” Even if I wanted to deny the prophecy to destroy everything, I knew it would mean something to them.
The council immediately broke out into angry chatter, all directed at Reychel. Mark grabbed his wife’s hand in his own, but didn’t say a word. He supported her no matter what the others thought. I knew where Chase had inherited his loyalty.
I waited until the voices calmed down slightly, before raising my hand in the air. “Hear me out, please.”