by Art Linson
INT. BEN’S OFFICE
JEREMY: Don’t buy it mate. Were you watching the audience watch the movie?
BEN (O.S.): Of course I was.
JEREMY: What was their overall reaction?
BEN: Like they took their kids to Disneyland and watched Mickey Mouse douse himself with gasoline and set himself on fire.
A beat—Jeremy smiles.
JEREMY: I’m okay with that. And anyway, we’re two weeks away from the red carpet.
Ben is walking through the hallway leading to his office.
BEN: The festival took the film because they want stars. They only saw a ten-minute reel. The studio could pull it from the festival with a phone call.
JEREMY: You’re overheated, mate.
Ben emerges into the office with his BlackBerry still in his ear. For a moment his voice is coming from two different places. Without a beat he shakes Jeremy’s hand, turns off his hand phone and sits behind his desk. He keeps the conversation moving as if all this was normal.
BEN: I don’t think so. We’re going to have to accommodate Lou in some way. Throw her a bone. Do something … or the road could get a bit weird.
JEREMY: Are you saying you’re not gonna protect my cut?
BEN: I’m your partner—of course, I’m gonna protect your cut.
Dawn stops taking notes from the meeting.
DAWN: That’s what Ben does.
BEN: Thank you. I just want you to understand the terrain we’re about to cross. The preview was terrifying.
JEREMY: Stand united, and we’ll prevail. Right?
BEN: All right. I’m here to support you.
JEREMY: Once I explain the raison d’etre of the thing to Lou, she’ll listen.
Ben points to his own mouth.
BEN: Before we go upstairs you might want to rethink the lips thing. Just a suggestion.
Cut to:
OMITTED
INT. EXECUTIVE BUILDING HALLWAY
Ben, Dawn, and Jeremy are making their way down a very long carpeted hallway, ostensibly on their way to a studio meeting. Jeremy’s lipstick is still in place. Posters from movies made during the studio’s long and glorious history line the walls.
JEREMY: All I’m saying is … and I don’t mean to flog it … is you should be proud, we went out on a limb with this one.
BEN: I am proud. Maybe too proud.
JEREMY: It’s not just about the money.
BEN: We got the money but now we got to get the money back.
DAWN: Believe me, Jeremy—for Ben it’s never really about the money. It’s about pride. When he’s not taking creative risks is when he gets nervous.
The three of them continue their long walk toward Lou’s office in silence. They enter the building. Dawn signs them in.
Cut to:
INT. LOU’S RECEPTION AREA—MORNING
Ben, Jeremy, and Dawn are seated on sumptuous couches behind a large glass coffee table.
Other than that, the only other evidence that we are visiting a ‘movie mogul’ office is a giant movie poster hanging behind Ben. The poster has no title, no star credits, no technical credits, just a GIANT BLOOD-STAINED REPTILIAN EYE BALL over a titanium black background with the words: DOMESTIC GROSS $410,000,000 strafed across the bottom. No other credits.
There are two secretarial desks but only one is occupied.
SECRETARY: Ben, are you sure I can’t bring you guys any water? She got snagged on this call. You know she hates to keep people waiting.
BEN: We’re fine, Judy. Thank you.
She gets up and walks to Lou’s door.
SECRETARY: Let me see how long she’ll be.
She opens the door, leans her head in. We can only hear some muffled conversation. She quickly pulls her head back out and grabs a key.
SECRETARY: This could take a bit. I’ve got to run to the lady’s room. I’ll be right back.
Jeremy leans in to Ben.
JEREMY: Couldn’t be happier to get my day in court. I think it’s better to do these things face-to-face. Don’t you?
BEN: There’s a strategy to all of these meetings, pal.
You have to decide what you want out of this before we go in there.
ACCIDENTALLY, THE DOOR TO LOU’S OFFICE SLOWLY SWINGS OPEN ABOUT SIX INCHES. Ben stops talking. They begin to make out Lou’s phone conversation as glimpses of Lou can be seen as she walks back and forth in front of the door.
LOU: I always listen … and when we talk, Joe, I want you to know I listen carefully. (pause) That’s correct. It’s not about being considerate. It’s about doing the right thing. It’s about caring for the people who work for you.
Jeremy smiles at Ben. He’s impressed. Ben notices Jeremy beginning to stare at the ‘Reptilian Eye Ball’ poster.
LOU: We have gone over this now several times and in several ways. And I want to help, I do, but … I’m afraid and I say this with great respect … I’m going to have to say, ‘no.’ (pause) ‘No.’ That’s right. I know … what? Joe, that’s not necessary. That is not necessary. I said … I said …
Jeremy stops smiling. They can see Lou pacing more rapidly. For the first time Lou changes her tone, loses patience. Jeremy looks back at the poster.
BEN: (acknowledging the poster with a bit of irony) In the end, no director, no stars, not even a title. Just a number. A big number.
Jeremy looks back at the door where Lou is still talking.
LOU: Joe, do not … DO NOT … I said do not make me have to reach down your fucking throat and RIP OUT YOUR FUCKING TESTICLES AND SHOVE THEM UP YOUR USELESS RECT …
At that moment, Lou realizes that her door is ajar and slams it shut.
Jeremy looks at Ben. Ben nods. He knows the terrain.
JEREMY: (whispering) Bloody hell. Was this some sort of a setup, mate?
BEN: I’m not that clever.
Jeremy, with a sardonic glance to Ben, decides to wipe off his lipstick. At that moment, the secretary walks back in. She sees the light on the phone is still on.
SECRETARY: My goodness. She’s still talking.
Cut to:
INT. LOU’S OFFICE—MORNING
The meeting is in progress. Ben, Dawn, Jeremy, Lou, and three of Lou’s assistants are circled around a meeting area away from Lou’s desk. In the corner is a complete nursery set up for preschool kids: toys, plastic swing set, giant Lego pieces, etc.
After an awkward silence in the room, Lou stands up and points to Ben.
LOU: You’re good, you’re really good. My god, kill the dog. Of course. What a brilliant tactical move.
BEN: Well, we wanted to do the unexpected.
LOU: You know, Ben, I always sensed you were blessed with good instinctive negotiating skills, but killing the dog! Oh boy.
JEREMY: (misunderstanding Lou) Well sometimes you just gotta surprise them, huh? Muss up their hair and kick them in the balls. Make sure they’re still breathing.
Ben pats Jeremy on the knee.
BEN: (whispering) Easy big fella.
LOU: (chuckling ironically) A bargaining chip! You guys figured, leave the dead dog in the movie now, knowing it wasn’t in the script and we would cut it out later and say ‘Okay Lou, the dog stuff is gone, how about we keep the rest as it is and call it a day?’ … I’m too old for this.
BEN: Lou, I think there’s another way to look at it.
JEREMY: What are you saying?
LOU: We’ve got a problem.
JEREMY: (getting a bit wild-eyed and sweaty) Hold on. You’re not talking about touching my ending are you? That’s not what I’m hearing is it? Has anyone seen Amores Perros?
LOU: What?
Lou eyes Ben. Ben shrugs.
JEREMY: Amores Perros. Was that about cruelty? No. It’s about loss and reality. It’s the difference between doing something a bit more profound, something that people will actually remember or you can go on making the same old rubbish. We’re trying to be great here. Aren’t we? Right?
Jeremy looks around the room.
BEN: Yeah.
JEREMY: I actually toned it down. Way down. Didn’t I?
BEN: Yes. He did.
LOU: A serious problem.
JEREMY: The dog has to DIE.
BEN: (quietly to Jeremy) Trust me, kemo sabe, you gotta back up.
LOU: Maybe I’m not being clear here …
DAWN: (interrupting Lou) I’m sorry. Excuse me, but I don’t think Sean would’ve done the movie if it weren’t hard hitting and didn’t take some real risks.
JEREMY: Absolutely.
LOU: (points to Dawn and then to the door) Would you excuse us?
The room goes dead. Dawn looks to Ben for help. He nods at the door. Dawn, humiliated, leaves. Lou finally addresses Jeremy.
LOU: Look here, I’ve lost twenty five million dollars before, and I’ll lose twenty five million dollars again. We’ve managed to put together extensive notes for you. Very extensive. If you do the kind of work that needs to be done here, I’ll lose a little less. Maybe fifteen million dollars less.
JEREMY: So you want me to eviscerate my film so you can lose a little less money?
LOU: I would be very appreciative.
JEREMY: I can’t do that.
BEN: Let us chew on this, Lou.
JEREMY: No, no, no. Look, THE DOG DIES!
BEN: (to Jeremy) I don’t think so.
JEREMY: Are you having a fucking laugh now?
BEN: No, not really.
LOU: Let’s not make this even more awkward than it already is. We respect you. Fix it.
JEREMY: It’s not broken, darling. My guts are in that cut.
LOU: Do the right thing, the right thing …
JEREMY: The right thing? I’ve done the right thing. I made the bloody film!
LOU: (turning to Ben rhetorically) I’m sorry, does he have final cut?
Ben shakes his head ‘no.’
LOU: The right thing … or your big evening in Cannes will be cancelled and I’ll take the film away from you and recut it myself.
A beat, then Jeremy unexpectedly puts his head in his hands and then smashes his fist three times on Lou’s coffee table, knocking a large bowl of M&M’s across the floor. His eyes are moist with tears. Lou and the others in the room are stunned.
LOU: (cont’d) (to Ben) I … what do you suggest?
BEN: He’ll come around. He’ll be fine. It’s jet lag. I’ll take care of it … C’mon.
Ben helps him to his feet.
BEN: (whispers in Jeremy’s ear) C’mon let’s get a grip. You can do it. You can do it.
He leads Jeremy to the door.
LOU: We don’t have much time.
Lou walks back to her desk shoving bits of M&M’s aside with the toe of her shoe. Lou picks up the cover of Variety, glances at the large photo of Jack, the dead agent.
LOU: Can you believe this?
BEN: (after an awkward beat) He had ten percent of the brass ring … didn’t he?
LOU: (as if offering a big compliment) I’d fuck him.
She folds the Variety under her arm and strolls into her private bathroom.
Cut to:
INT. KELLY’S HOUSE/BEDROOM AND HALLWAY
A CLOSE ANGLE ON A WOMAN SITTING ON THE EDGE OF A BED. Her blouse is unbuttoned. She is leaning forward to slip off her shoes.
SUPER: 1:00 PM
The woman sits up revealing that it’s Kelly, Ben’s ex-wife. A noon-day sun filters through the window shutters.
BEN (O.S.): My old bed. God, I love this bed. Are these new sheets?
Kelly turns. Ben is trying to stop himself from caressing the bed.
KELLY: This is a huge mistake.
BEN: Don’t say that.
Kelly starts to button her blouse.
KELLY: I can’t do it. I just can’t. This is as much my fault as yours. This is why we are seeing Dr. Randall.
To not do this.
BEN: Let’s not tell her.
He sits up and pats the duvet.
KELLY: It’s been almost a year, and you’re already too comfortable. And I’m nervous. Why is that?
BEN: You still look fantastic.
KELLY: Well, I appreciate that.
BEN: Do you want me to go?
KELLY: Yes. No.
BEN: I won’t talk.
KELLY: No, I’d like to talk.
BEN: (a long beat) Good, let’s talk. I’ll start.
I admit I do love this bed (pause) but only with you in it. Even if just for a moment I’m so grateful to be back here.
He sits up, puts his arm around her and finishes unbuttoning her blouse.
KELLY: Really.
BEN: Truly.
KELLY: (softens) After all the lawyers, it’s just so awkward …
BEN: … and all the money.
KELLY: Yes … I don’t know, it’s been so long … if I could do this … I feel so vulnerable …
BEN: I know how you feel.
KELLY: But it’s complicated. I don’t feel just one way.
BEN: I understand. I never feel just one way.
KELLY: Really?
BEN: Truly.
They kiss.
KELLY: I can’t …
BEN: You can. We can …
A cell phone rings.
Kelly and Ben both hesitate. He doesn’t want to spoil the moment but he doesn’t want to miss the call.
Ben points to where the ring is coming from.
BEN: This could be important.
KELLY: If you could only focus …
Ben can’t take it anymore. He jumps up and shakes the sheets until the hidden phone leaps from the bed. Kelly watches the dance. He flips it on.
BEN: (to Kelly) Please, let’s both hold on to that thought. (into the phone) Hello?
ASSISTANT: I have him.
BEN: Who?
ASSISTANT: HIM.
BEN: Oh. Okay … Hey, mi amigo.
He holds up one finger beseeching Kelly to understand.
ACTOR: I heard something.
BEN: What?
ACTOR: Concern about my beard. I don’t know. Or is it buyer’s remorse?
BEN: (clears his throat) Not from me.
ACTOR: Wait a second could you … I’ll be right back (click) …
BEN: (covering the phone to Kelly) It’s business. He’s a fucking movie star. We’ve got issues we’ve got to solve.
KELLY: Like what?
BEN: Like shaving a beard. Sounds crazy but it’s becoming a big fucking deal. What am I supposed to do?
KELLY: You can be a man and tell him you’ll call him back.
BEN: You’re right. You’re right.
ACTOR: Hello?
BEN: (into the phone) There you are. Listen …
ACTOR: I’m all ears.
He turns away from Kelly.
BEN: Uh … uh. Did I tell you how truly happy I am that you are doing this movie. A lot of actors were circling this but …
ACTOR: Get to the point.
Kelly gathers the rest of her clothes. She’s had enough.
BEN: Would you mind holding on for five seconds? I’ve got to deal with something … okay.
Ben reaches for Kelly’s arm. She pulls away.
KELLY: You’re kidding, right?
Kelly walks down the hallway.
BEN: Kelly! Wait! (into the phone) I’m back … Sure. We do need to talk about this … face-to-face is always better. You know me, I’m one hundred percent at your disposal …
ACTOR: Save the producer one hundred percent speech.
BEN: Could I just have another five seconds? (the actor hangs up) Hello. Hello. Kelly! Kelly! C’mon! I had to take that call. Kelly!?
Ben walks down the hallway undressed. No response.
BEN: (back to the phone) Hello?
It’s too late. Kelly’s gone. And so is the Actor. Ben walks back into the bedroom. As he starts to dress he sees something under the bed. He leans down and recovers another man’s sock, a bright multicolored argyle sock. He holds it up. He measures it against h
is own foot. He shoves it in his pocket.
For the first time since we’ve seen Ben, his face cannot cover up his true disappointment.
Cut to:
INT. BEN’S OFFICE RECEPTION AREA
SUPER: 2:15 PM
Ben enters. His impenetrable facade has returned. Carl is going through a stack of the dreaded preview cards that are in several high piles on his reception desk.
BEN: Did you get our star?
CARL: No, but I left voicemails at every number we have.
BEN: You can’t reach Bruce anywhere?
CARL: No.
BEN: (pointing to the cards) What are you doing?
CARL: Referencing the cards.
BEN: Carl, these aren’t Hallmark get-well cards. They’re not coffee-table decorations. They’re private business. What are you doing?
CARL: I thought …
BEN: Don’t think. Put them in the drawer and lock them up. This is nobody’s business but mine.
Ben glances at his office through the indoor window. A man with tools on his belt is stepping off measurements across the floor.
BEN: (cont’d) You let somebody in my office without discussing it with me? Carl, get a grip here. We’re falling apart. What’s going on?
CARL: No, he’s from Studio Services …
Ben moves closer.
BEN: Is this moving day? (to himself) That’s always the way. Isn’t it? Because of one bad screening. Are you kidding me?
CARL: Huh?
BEN: These people have no shame … ruthless pricks … who’s coming in here next? WHO? What production company’s moving in here?
CARL: I don’t know anything about a production company.
BEN: What do you mean no one’s moving in here? I’m not moving in here. I’m in here.
CARL: I don’t know anything about a production company … No! Him? … It’s the new carpeting. You ordered the new carpeting.
BEN: When was that?
CARL: Back in February.
BEN: Since when does it take three months to get new carpeting?
CARL: I know. I’ve been badgering them. But it was a special order. The white shag … It came all the way from Minnesota.
BEN: I wouldn’t be caught dead with white shag.
CARL: You ordered it.
BEN: (recovering) No, I stand corrected. Okay, I’ll be in the editing room.
Carl nods. Ben heads for the door.