“What about next Christmas morning? Maybe your husband’s family will want a turn having you for the holidays.”
“You always told me marriage is about knowing how to balance the needs of both people,” Grace countered. “What do you think of Devin?”
“Hard to say. I just met the man.”
“Seems to me he held up pretty well when you were trying to scare him off.”
“I suppose.” The gruffness eased out of Quentin’s words when he added, “I only want you to be happy.”
“I am happy. I love Devin. I think I’ve loved him since I met him in high school.”
“But you said yourself you hadn’t seen him in years. How do you know he’s still the person you remember? He was a boy then. He’s a man now.”
“He’s a good man. Trust me to know what’s best for me.”
Through the slats of wood, Devin could see Grace give her grandfather a hug.
“And for my Christmas present, I want you to forgive me for getting married without you there.”
“You drive a hard bargain.”
“I learned from the best.”
Devin backed out of the barn and returned to the house. If Grace’s grandfather was still having a hard time with their elopement, what would his parents think? As much as he wanted to think his happiness was the most important thing to his parents, experience had taught him they weren’t like Quentin. Appearances mattered. History had demonstrated that too many times over the years.
When he had selected Arizona State University for his undergraduate work, his father had been embarrassed by his choice. Instead of talking about where his son was going to school, he mentioned only that he had been accepted by Harvard. The state championships for track Devin’s senior year had irritated his mother when he had been unable to accompany them on their planned cruise in the Mediterranean because of the scheduling conflict. For as long as he could remember, Devin had felt like a bragging right rather than a part of the family.
He supposed he had let superficial things matter to him as well over the years, but he liked to think he was overcoming that tendency, especially when he was around Grace and his other friends who had the consistent support of their families.
The question Quentin had posed about Devin’s plans for a family circled through his mind. What kind of father would he be? Would he be like his parents, more concerned about how his children would impact his social life, or would he find joy in parenthood the way Grace’s parents had done? Devin was still contemplating the possibility of his family expanding beyond Grace and him when she walked into the kitchen, her cheeks red from the cold.
Instantly, her face brightened. “Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas yourself.” He welcomed her into his arms when she crossed to him, and he greeted her with a kiss. “I was lonely when I woke up and you were gone.”
“I was helping Grandpa feed the animals.” She motioned to the cinnamon rolls. “And I thought the men in my life would enjoy something special for breakfast today.”
“You’re too good for me. You know that, right?”
She laughed. “You just keep thinking that, and I’ll pretend I believe it.”
Grace reached up and kissed him again. “Thank you for making this the best Christmas I’ve had in a long time.”
“You haven’t even opened your present yet.”
“I don’t need any presents to be happy. I have you.”
No gift wrapped under the tree could have meant more than those simple words. As he leaned down to kiss his bride once more, Devin felt like he might finally have found the true meaning of happiness.
* * *
Grace fiddled with her rings as Devin pulled into the driveway of his childhood home. The three days with her grandfather had helped smooth over any regrets about his not being at her wedding, but she and Devin weren’t going to have that kind of time with his parents. A single lunch was all they had planned. She’d thought for sure Devin would at least want to stay with them to celebrate New Year’s.
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay a few days to visit with your family?” she asked again.
“I’m sure.” His curtness caught her attention. His parents had always been civil to her in high school, but she had always felt like they’d looked down on her. Her parents hadn’t been in the same social circles in town, but she’d hoped her perception wasn’t based on fact. Now she wasn’t so sure.
“Your parents aren’t going to be happy about our marriage, are they?”
“No.”
“Are you sure you want me here today? Maybe it would be better if you told them without me around.”
“I want them to get used to the idea of us being together. I’m just not sure how to drop the bomb on them that this is permanent.”
His tense posture was so unlike him that Grace would have done anything to help him get back to the person she was so used to being with.
“We don’t have to tell them today.” On impulse, she pulled the rings off her finger and put them on her right hand.
His shoulders immediately relaxed. “Are you sure you’re okay with that?”
“It’s fine. Like you said, maybe it will be better if they get used to the idea of me being part of your life again before they know we’re married.”
Devin leaned over and kissed her. “You really are too good for me.”
“Maybe you’re too good for me,” she countered.
He took his own wedding band off his finger and tucked it into his front pocket. “Come on. Let’s get this over with.”
She was struck with the thought that Devin saw this time with his parents as a burden when she would give anything to have such an opportunity again with her own. She longed for her past, when her parents were part of her life, and wished Devin knew what such a relationship could be like.
He circled the car and opened her door for her. She took his hand and stood beside him. His eyebrows drew together. “What’s that serious expression for?”
“I was just thinking. It’s odd that you struggle to spend time with your parents when that’s something I miss so much it hurts.”
He fell silent for a moment. “I guess sometimes it’s hard to appreciate what you’ve got when you always expect it to be there.”
“I know what you mean.”
They started up the long path leading to the front door, the Sedona red rocks setting the stage beneath the crisp blue sky. Devin's steps slowed.
“I overheard you and your grandpa talking in the barn on Christmas morning.”
She turned to face him. “I never saw you out there. Why didn’t you join us?”
“You were talking about us, about asking him to forgive us for getting married without him there.”
“And?”
“You knew the whole time that everything would be okay between the two of you because there isn’t a doubt that your grandfather wants you to be happy. It’s like that is the most important thing to him.”
“It is one of the most important things to him. Not just my happiness but the happiness of all of his kids and grandkids.”
“My parents aren’t like that.”
Grace felt the hurt that hummed beneath the surface for Devin. “Maybe they just don’t know how to show it.”
“I used to think that.” He stopped several feet short of the door and kissed her. “I’m just glad you’re my family now. I hope I can learn to be like your family instead of taking after my own.”
“Whatever we have to deal with, we’ll face it together.”
“In that case, let’s see what today has in store for us.” He let go of her hand to reach for the door.
With a flutter of nerves, Grace took a deep breath and stepped through the door he held open.
Chapter 9
Devin could feel the wave of disapproval the moment his parents walked into the entryway and laid eyes on Grace. How could they be so blind to her inherent goodness? How could he have been?
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Facing that familiar look he had seen so many times when he had dated Grace in high school made him wonder if his family had influenced their breakup as much as his friends had. He liked to think his mother’s comment about them getting too serious at too young an age had been made out of love and concern. Seeing the expression on her face now, he suspected Grace’s lack of wealth and family connections was the root of the problem.
The Sedona snobs. His parents could have invented the phrase.
They looked perfect, as always. His mother’s dark hair didn’t show any sign of gray, thanks to her biweekly trip to the hairdresser. The few streaks of gray in his father’s hair made him look distinguished rather than old. Devin didn’t have to see the labels to know his parents’ clothes were the latest from Paris and Milan and their winter tans a product of their most recent trip to the Caribbean.
“Devin, how good to see you.” Catherine Shanahan leaned toward her son and kissed the air beside his cheek.
“Mom, Dad. How was Paris?”
“Fine.” His dad shook his hand. The fact that he didn’t expound on his answer to include some criticism of the flight or hotel proved he wasn’t prepared to see him with Grace.
“You both remember Grace, don’t you?”
“Yes, I believe so,” Catherine said. “You ran track together, didn’t you?”
“That’s right,” Grace said without missing a beat. She smoothed over the obvious oversight of their previous relationship. “It’s good to see you both again.”
“Is lunch ready?” Devin asked.
As if on cue, Liwei, the longtime family cook, appeared in the doorway leading to the dining room. In his heavily accented English, Liwei bowed slightly and said, “Lunch is ready.”
Devin grinned at the older man, automatically shifting into Cantonese. “Liwei, so good to see you.”
Though he wanted to cross to him and give him a hug, he knew such behavior would be frowned upon. Instead, he tilted his head toward Grace. “Can you set another plate? I don’t think my parents were expecting her.”
“I already did.” His voice was serious despite the sparkle in his eyes.
“Must you do that?” his father asked. “English is the language we speak in this house, not Chinese.”
Devin didn’t correct his father in his assumption that all Chinese languages were one and the same. Instead, he fell silent. He waited for his parents to lead the way into the dining room and put his hand on Grace’s back to guide her forward.
As he passed Liwei, Devin whispered under his breath in Cantonese, “Is Jun here?”
“Yes. She will be serving you today.”
“Good. I’ve missed you both.”
He saw Grace’s questioning glance.
After Devin helped her into her seat, he sat beside her and wondered if his parents would ever forgive him for the choices he had made. They wouldn’t be happy if they knew he had committed to work for the CIA for at least the next five years, but the agency had been very clear that he wasn’t to share that information with them anyway. As for his relationship with Grace, he wondered how long he could keep his marriage a secret or if he should even try.
He glanced over at the rings on Grace’s right hand and debated coming clean right then.
Jun appeared in the doorway, carrying two salads, Liwei following behind her with two more. Upon seeing his longtime nanny, Devin stood. He hated that his parents had let her go when he was in college, but she had made a decent life nearby working as a maid for a number of local families.
“I’ve missed you,” he said, again slipping out of English, this time to converse in Jun’s native Mandarin. He gathered her close in a way he never could have done with his own mother. He supposed his fluency in both Mandarin and Cantonese was a testimony to how much time he’d spent with the household servants and how little he’d spent with his parents. Ironically, of his three languages, he had found English to be the most difficult to learn as a child.
“I have missed you too, but you are going to get both of us in trouble.”
“You’re right.” Devin reclaimed his seat. “Grace, do you remember Jun and Liwei?”
“Yes. I don’t believe I’ve ever had egg rolls as good as the ones Liwei made us when we were in high school.”
Movement in the doorway caught Devin’s attention, and he looked over to see his father’s secretary holding a pad of paper and a pen. Like Liwei and Jun, Maureen had been working for his parents for as long as he could remember, but her stiffly formal demeanor had kept Devin from ever connecting with her the way he had with the others.
“Excuse me, Boyd, but I wanted to let you know I’m going out to run those errands for you,” she said.
“Thank you, Maureen.”
Maureen turned, her heels clicking on the tile floor as she disappeared from the room and then out the front door.
“I see she hasn’t changed at all,” Devin said in Mandarin.
“Her visits to the beauty parlor are more frequent now. That blonde hair is most definitely out of a bottle,” Jun said. Her own dark hair was streaked with gray, but she didn’t seem to be concerned with the natural effects of aging. Jun looked around at everyone’s eyes on them. “We’ll talk later.”
His mother looked from Devin to Grace and asked, “How did you two meet up again? Are you dating?”
“Not exactly.” Devin reclaimed his seat, not surprised that Jun and Liwei quietly slipped out of the room. Devin supposed he could date his wife, but he wasn’t sure how to phrase his answer without lying directly. Some spy he was going to make.
Grace rescued him. “We were both at Caleb’s wedding a couple weeks ago. Caleb married my cousin.”
“Oh, how nice. What have you been doing since high school?”
“I’m going to ASU to finish my MBA.”
“I’m sure you know Devin is getting his MBA this spring from Stanford,” Boyd said.
“Yes, I do,” Grace said. “You must be very proud of him. He has always been such a good student.”
As though Grace had authenticated his father’s belief that Devin’s education was superior to her own, some of the stiffness eased out of his parents, and they were able to fall into familiar small talk. Grace and Devin listened to the latest news on Devin’s two older cousins, their successes in business and their travel plans.
The realization that he was the first to marry out of his generation struck him. Though his cousins were now in their early thirties, as far as he knew, neither of them was in any kind of serious relationship with anyone or anything beyond their careers.
He glanced at the woman beside him and hoped again that he could overcome his own family traditions and be a good husband to her.
Chapter 10
Grace blinked against the threatening tears, her arms wrapped tightly around her husband. Passengers hurried by, cell phones and boarding passes in hand, luggage rolling behind them.
How had the days flown by so quickly? Their wedding day had been two and a half weeks ago, yet it felt like yesterday that they had been in Las Vegas together. They had been selfish with their last few days in Phoenix. Caleb and Molly had returned from their honeymoon, but Grace had deliberately put off seeing her cousin or any of her friends while Devin was in town.
Her little one-bedroom apartment had become their home, and she already looked forward to his return.
As though reading her thoughts, he shifted so he could see her face. “I’ll be back for the next long weekend. It’ll be here before you know it.”
“And we’ll talk every day.” She blinked hard again.
“And we’ll talk every day,” he repeated.
She thought of his concerns about his parents and took his left hand in hers. His wedding band was back in place, as was her own, but so far, the only person who knew of their union was her grandfather.
“When are we going to tell people we’re married? As soon as Caleb finds out, your parents are bound to get wind of it. He’s
not the best at keeping a secret.”
“I hadn’t thought about that.” Devin considered for a minute. “How often do you think you’ll see Caleb and Molly?”
“Now that they’re married, hardly ever. Their new apartment is over thirty minutes away on the north side of Phoenix.”
“Are you okay with keeping this to ourselves until we tell my folks? Maybe we could see them when I come back next.”
She considered the implications and looked down at her own left hand. “Does that mean you don’t want me to wear my rings?”
“I want your rings to stay on your finger forever.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t have changed my name yet if we’re going to keep this marriage quiet for now.”
“I love knowing we have the same last name.”
“You aren’t making any sense.” Grace linked her fingers with his. “In one breath you say you want to keep us a secret, and in the next, you want me to act like we’re married. Which is it?”
He let out a sigh. “I need to tell my parents, don’t I?”
“I don’t want them to find out from someone else.”
“I’ll call them tonight after I get home.”
“And then call me and let me know how it went,” Grace said.
“I will. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
He leaned down and kissed her good-bye. “I’ll see you in a few weeks.”
Grace’s heart ached the moment he stepped toward the security checkpoint.
She stood unmoving as he made his way through the line and reached the security agent, then looked back for one final wave. An instant later, he was swallowed up in the chaos of bag screenings and X-ray machines. With a sigh, she looked down at her phone. She unlocked the screen and texted Devin. I miss you already.
* * *
Time to get this over with. Devin had played that thought in his head a dozen times since he’d walked back into his apartment in California. He had gone through every stall tactic he could think of: grocery shopping, grabbing dinner from a local deli, starting his laundry, and talking to Grace for the second time since landing at the airport.
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