by Husk, Shona
She closed and locked the front door as quietly as she could, then started creeping through the lounge room. Even though she could see the light in the kitchen the shadows darkened and thickened in the corners and alongside the sofas and bookshelves. Her breath hitched. Surely Ruby wouldn’t lie in wait?
“I was getting worried about you.” A tall silhouette rose off the sofa.
Eloise jumped and let out a squeak. “You nearly scared me to death!” She placed her hand over her heart as if she could keep it from leaping out and running away.
“Sorry.” Tate grinned but didn’t look very apologetic. His face was half shadowed but she could still see the curve of his lips and the glint in his eye.
“Where did you go? You just vanished.” And then your ex visited, but Eloise wasn’t quite sure how to ask more without it becoming prickly.
“I’m not sure where I go exactly when I have surgery. But when I’m under, I’m not here. I’m not anywhere.” He swung the arm that had been dangling weirdly at his side. Now it looked fine. In the soft light, Tate almost seemed solid, as if he were real and living and within touching distance.
Her fingers curled at her side, but she couldn’t touch him. He wasn’t really here—well, his body wasn’t. Which part was more important, the body or the soul? The implications made her head hurt. She couldn’t fall for a ghost, even one who wasn’t really a ghost but a bodiless spirit.
If he were alive, he’d have never looked at her twice. Guys like him didn’t. Once he got his body back he’d break her heart and not look back. Was that how Ruby felt? Left behind and heartbroken? No wonder she was angry.
“Did you really break up with Ruby before the accident?”
Tate took a step back as if she’d pushed him. “Of course.” He looked at the floor as if seeking an answer. “We’d been over for months. I just hadn’t had the guts to face up to it and tell her. I was so used to going through the motions and trying to live up to an expectation I didn’t realize I couldn’t meet.”
“You’d stopped loving her, but she hadn’t stopped loving you,” Eloise said softly. Poor Ruby. In one night she’d lost everything. Eloise sat on the arm of the sofa. She was tired and this whole thing was a mess she’d gotten mixed up in by accident. She bit her lip, debating what to tell him about the visit she’d received.
He reached out to touch her hand, and for a moment she imagined she could feel his skin, cool against hers. “What is it?”
Their knees should’ve been banging together but instead his passed through hers. She tried to smile, but her eyes were burning with unshed tears. None of this was right. And even though she didn’t want to she knew she was falling for him and when she landed it was going to hurt. She liked him more than she should, and there was a very good chance he wouldn’t remember any of this. But it was too late for her to back away now. She’d said she’d help him; however, maybe he could help her as well.
“Today there was another presence in the house, one I couldn’t see.”
Tate tilted his head. “How do you know then?”
“I felt like I was being watched. I was cold and I saw a shadow on the screen of my laptop.”
“Do you usually see ghosts?”
Eloise shook her head. “No. That’s why this is extra weird. Maybe I can see you because you aren’t really dead, we shared a room…” Again, weird. “And I almost died once. But this other ghost was different.” She paused again, not sure if she should tell him it was Ruby, but then shrugged. She couldn’t lie to him while he was possibly dying. “She warned me away from you.”
Tate froze. “Was that all?”
“It was enough to freak me out—but I’m still talking to you, aren’t I?” She tried to smile but Tate was grim. His smile was gone.
“When I’m not here I’m in a place surrounded by mist. But the mist is alive and it wants me. I’ve seen Ruby there.” He lowered his gaze and studied her hands in her lap. When he looked up his eyes were dark and troubled. “Ruby wants me.”
Eloise sucked in a breath. “She wants you to die?”
He nodded slowly, and all sympathy she’d had for Ruby dried up like a puddle in the summer sun. Ruby was the ex who didn’t know when to let go and move on.
“What do we do?” Eloise whispered. Was Ruby here now, listening and watching, waiting for Tate to have surgery again?
“There’s nothing you can do.” He moved closer, his legs passing through hers as he tried to take her hands. Frustration flickered across his features. “You have no idea how much I want to hold your hand right now.”
“Yeah, I do.” Because she wanted the same thing. Something so simple, everyone else took it for granted.
He smiled, but concern still lingered in his gaze. “I don’t want to put you in danger. It might be for the best if I don’t hang around here.”
“I don’t mind,” she said too fast. She hadn’t told him about Ruby’s ghost to push him away. She liked his company.
“I’d like to stay, but it’s too dangerous.” He brushed his hand against her cheek. “She was always the jealous type. Death has brought out the worst side of her because she’s scared.”
That Eloise could understand. “Then what do we do?” Then she realized what he wasn’t saying. “This is goodbye.”
The end had happened faster than she’d expected. What had she expected? That he’d hang around until he eventually woke up? How long was she going to wait for him? Weeks, months? It wasn’t like they could go out, or date. But she wanted that chance with him even if it was a long shot.
“Not forever. I’ll find you when I wake up.”
“If you remember me,” she mumbled, not wanting him to notice how burned she was feeling.
“How could I forget when you make me want to live?” The smile was back. “I want to kiss you properly when I wake up.” His fingertips brushed her lips, and she resisted the urge to close her eyes and wish for more.
“That’s all you could put on your list?” Eloise tried to smile and pretend that everything was okay.
“It’s a start. Doing my exams is next…then…I’d like to travel a bit. There are programs for graduate engineers to go overseas and assist on projects in third-world countries.” His face lit up as he talked. Planning for a future he wanted but might not get.
Eloise hoped he’d get everything he wanted. If this was goodbye, she didn’t want to drag it out. Better to just get it done and keep her fingers crossed for the future. She stood, and so did Tate.
He leaned in. His lips were feather-light over hers and enough to leave her wanting more. He’d better remember her; otherwise she might do more than send a friend request on Facebook.
There was a lump in her throat the size of an egg. “I don’t want you to leave, but I want you to wake.”
“I don’t want to leave, but I want you to be safe. You aren’t if I stay. Ruby will find a way to hurt you…or she will find a way to kill me.” His fingers traced her cheek and jaw, leaving a trail of warmth as if he were really standing in front of her.
“Promise me you’ll wake up and come back,” she said as she rose onto her toes.
“I will try. Maybe a kiss will wake me.”
He used that line before and it had worked, but she was happy for the excuse. “For luck.”
Tate touched his lips to hers in a gentle caress that warmed her blood and woke the butterflies in her belly. And she felt him, really felt him, as his tongue swept over hers. The heat of his body against her skin. The scent of his leather jacket.
A scream like breaking glass tore through the house on wings made of ice, shredding the heat of the kiss.
“Ruby.” Eloise spun, looking for the ghost, but all she felt was the rush of the cold wind against her skin as the scream echoed in her ears.
Behind her Tate grunted. She turned to see him being pushed up the wall by an unseen attacker.
His hands gripped his chest. “I promise.” Tate’s face contorted, his lips whitening as
if he was in agony, and then he was gone.
Rage bubbled through Ruby, giving her a strength she’d never had in life. It didn’t matter that neither of them could see her when she could make them feel her. Eloise stood with her mouth open, but Ruby ignored her. She had Tate against the wall. His soul in her hands… Then she felt the delicate pulse of the thread that attached his spirit to his body. She knew how she could make him pay. She was going to enjoy watching him die.
One thought and she was at the hospital.
Ruby thrust her hands into Tate’s chest as he lay on the hospital bed. His bones offered no resistance as she gripped the silken strand that pulsed with life. Why hadn’t she thought of this before? If he wouldn’t choose her, he didn’t get a choice. She was going to rip his soul free of his body, so he would be forced to be with her.
His life pulsed in her hands. The cord attaching him to his body was so thin. He was barely alive. He would be hers again. She grinned. They’d argued before and always gotten back together. This time was no different. She tugged and the thread loosened. His body bucked as if refusing to release its hold on the soul that kept it alive, but she kept her grip. She wouldn’t let go of him, not this time. She’d always loved him and he’d always loved her. They were meant to be together.
Tate’s spirit appeared in the room. Good, he could witness his death and realize his mistake.
“What are you doing?” Tate snarled, but he wasn’t looking at her, he was looking at his body lying helpless on the bed.
The man on the bed was bandaged and injured and connected to machines that beeped in alarm. He looked so weak and helpless. His soul, standing on the other side of the bed, was the man she remembered. Except the color was wrong, as if he were faded and old. And he was clutching at his chest like he was in pain. She gave the cord another little tug and watched him flinch. After everything he’d done to her it was nice to see him hurting. He could discover what death was like—except she would be there for him like she always was. She wouldn’t let him wander around lost and afraid.
“Killing you. Does it hurt, sweetie?” She’d forgive him for kissing the other woman, but only after he’d experienced a measure of her pain.
“Please Ruby, I don’t want to die.” He doubled over as she dug in her nails. “You shouldn’t have died. We were hit by a car. It was an accident.” He looked wildly round the room.
He couldn’t see her. Bastard. She gave the cord a yank and heard a tear. Color returned to Tate like someone had been fiddling with the colors on the television. But he was too red.
“You should’ve died with me. We were meant to be together always.” The life in her hands pulsed. The machines began flashing and screeching. She was winning. “Now you want to live because of Eloise.”
His jaw locked as if he was fighting to speak through the pain. “We broke up. I wanted you to be happy, and you weren’t with me. I wasn’t happy either.”
“You’re still breaking up with me?” She gave the cord a squeeze and watched him gasp. “Fine. But you won’t have her and you won’t have a life since you took mine.” It was the only way she could get even with him. He didn’t get to dump her and walk away, kill her and forget her.
Nurses rushed around her—through her—to get to Tate’s body to try to save him. No one could see her. No one cared that she was stuck here haunting the life she’d once had but unable to enjoy it anymore. She’d waited for Tate to join her and now she didn’t know how to leave. Taking him kicking and screaming into death might be the only solution.
The pulse of the thread joining flesh and spirit was weakening. He was dying. His color changed again, he was looking better, more like her. His death was only moments away. One more good tug and he’d never forget her and never move on.
The nurses stood back as the doctor charged the paddles to revive Tate. They didn’t know it was her in control. She had the power to decide his fate.
Tate’s spirit doubled over, but as he lifted his gaze he looked at her. He could see her, and the look in his eyes was one she never wanted to see again. It wasn’t love, it was closer to hate. “If you kill me, every drop of love I have for you will die.”
Ruby stopped pulling, trying to break the cord. “You still love me?”
“You were my first love. I will always love you, but not in the way you want.” His teeth gritted with agony and his words were forced, but she’d always been able to tell when he was lying, and this wasn’t one of those times.
The doctor zapped him. His body jerked. Tate’s spirit jumped as if reacting to the charge. His gaze darted to his body. The machine kept beeping and the doctors kept working.
“You have to let me go, Ruby,” he pleaded, his gaze flicking between her and his body.
“I have to take you with me. We were supposed to be together.” In her hands his life was barely a tremble. He’d ruined that, ruined their future. Somehow they’d grown apart. While he studied, she worked. While he lived with his father she’d wanted him to move in with her. She’d wanted an engagement ring and a wedding, but he’d ignored all her hints.
It hadn’t been fear of commitment, he just hadn’t wanted to commit to her. She’d known that, been angry and picked fights with him because she didn’t know what to do. She hadn’t known how to move on—even now she still didn’t know.
“No. I’m sorry you were on my bike that night. I never wished you ill. I just knew I couldn’t be who you wanted, who you needed.”
The doctor placed the paddles on Tate’s chest again. He had people fighting for him; he had a chance to live.
She let go of the thread. “I didn’t want to lose you. I knew you weren’t happy…neither was I. I didn’t know what to do.” Too many things had changed after high school, but she’d been with Tate for so long that being without him seemed worse than holding on to what little remained.
“I didn’t know how to end it either.”
“I’m your first break-up too.” She forced a smile. She would always be his first. He wouldn’t forget her if he lived. If she’d survived, she’d have had the chance to find someone else and have the life she wanted. She should have let him leave the party alone. Let the break-up stick instead of fighting for what they’d once had. Now she was alone, and she didn’t know what to do. She didn’t want to be stuck here anymore. “I’m scared.”
“So am I. I might never wake up. I might be stuck like this forever.” He stood up straight, the lines of pain leaving his face, and studied his body. His eyes narrowed like he was struggling with an impossible assignment.
Ruby stared at his banged-up body. She’d listened to the nurses and doctors talk, she knew how serious his condition was. But she didn’t want him to drift aimlessly until the machines were switched off.
“They’ll look after you.” The machines settled down and the doctors and nurses moved around him making checks, oblivious to the soul and ghost in the room.
“I’m sorry I didn’t look after you better.”
“It’s not your fault.” It wasn’t. It had been her choice to leave with him. If she’d been willing to let him go that night, everything would’ve been different.
The room took on a soft glow as if it were lit by candles and not fluorescent lights. She recognized it from the night of the accident. It had come back. She smiled and closed her eyes and let it envelop her.
“Ruby?” Tate looked around but saw nothing. He listened but heard nothing.
The room was full of people yet he was alone. Ruby had left him—this time forever. He dropped into the chair next to his bed, hollowed out. Ruby had tried to kill him and nearly succeeded. But if she hadn’t attacked him, he might never have found his way back to his body. She’d drawn him back by tugging on the cord. Now he was here, he could see it. A faint silvery thread that joined him together.
He was in more trouble than he’d realized. He’d never seen himself look so…so ill. Pale with sunken cheeks. He looked like he was sleeping. For the first time since t
he accident he was tired, really tired. He ached like he could feel his injuries. The pain gained strength with each breath his body took. His head pounded and his shoulder burned like a hot poker was lodged in the bone. Tate leaned forward and rested his forearms on his thighs, head in his hands.
He was really screwed up. Stuck outside his body. Injured and unable to do anything. He watched as the nurse wrote things on his chart, then left. The room was empty. He didn’t want to be alone. Where was his father?
What was his dad going to say? How could Tate ever explain what happened? How would he be able to tell his dad that he was here, he was still alive, just trapped on the outside?
If he couldn’t get back in, he couldn’t see Eloise again. It wasn’t fair on her. She was alive and had a life that he couldn’t be part of like this. He should go and see her one last time, and tell her he was going to be okay—he hoped he was going to be okay—he didn’t want her worrying about him or Ruby coming back.
He tried to stand, but he was too tired. It would be really nice to lie down for a bit and close his eyes. The cord drew tight as if it was going to snap, then everything went black and he was trapped, smothered by his own flesh.
Chapter Six
Eloise crept over to the place where Tate had vanished. This was becoming a habit—only this time it wasn’t surgery that had taken him away, it had been Ruby. Had she taken him back to the mist to kill him?
“Tate?” she whispered, not wanting to wake her parents or bring back Ruby.
She waited and paced and sat, but he didn’t come back. Her teeth worried her bottom lip. Every so often she’d whisper his name, but she never got a reply. Ruby didn’t come back either. She wasn’t sure that was a good sign. Maybe Ruby had got her wish and Tate was now dead.