by Jillian Hart
Because he wasn’t in her mind, but her heart. It was hard not to have sympathy for him. He was a nice man; it was impossible not to like him. But that was all. She wasn’t romantically interested in him. Talk about a totally out there idea.
She was just glad to think about trail riding again. It wasn’t safe to ride alone in the backcountry, and she’d lost her trail-riding friend years ago when September’s job transferred her north to Whitefish. So, the idea of having a buddy to ride with into the wilderness sounded like a wonderful opportunity.
Oops. What was it going to take to stop thinking about him?
“Okay, what’s on your mind? I can tell something’s going on.” Ava led the way out the doorway and into the hot, bright evening. “I’ve never seen you so spacey.”
“It’s been a long day.” It was called a diversionary tactic, but it was also the truth. She’d been up early to help Dorrie with the kids, then a shift at the bookstore after which she helped with Ava’s deliveries, then Bible study and it wasn’t over yet.
A shout rose above the din of conversation surrounding them. “Hey, you two!”
It was Marin, the youth pastor and a family friend, making her way across the parking lot, hurrying to catch up with them. “Look what I have for you. More donations for the auction.”
Aubrey could tell by Marin’s excitement that it was something good. She crowded close to see the computer-printed sheet Marin was holding. There was an image of a framed work of art—by William Corey. What were the chances?
“Wow.” Ava pushed close to see, too. “That’s amazing. We have two other originals, you know.”
“I know.” Marin was nearly hopping in place. “This is phenomenal. One of my kids just brought this to our youth group meeting. He said his family wanted to help, that Jonas had helped them out once. See? Goodness always makes the world a better place. Aubrey, you can upload this onto your Web site, right?”
“Sure.” She saw that the e-mail address of the kid and his family were printed on the sheet, so she could contact them for more information. The trick was going to be keeping her no-William-thoughts vow. Especially with the gorgeous photograph of his in hand.
Aubrey folded the page in half and carefully stuck it in her book bag. “Thanks, Marin. I know you’ve been behind a lot of the fund-raising ideas.”
“Danielle can stay in denial, maybe that’s better for her, but she’s going to need help.”
“She says she feels guilty.”
“It doesn’t change the fact. It’s a generous idea to give the proceeds in Jonas’s name to the fund. It’s also something we’re praying hard she won’t need herself.”
“Us, too.” Aubrey had never doubted her church family was a blessing. Now she knew how very much. “I can’t believe how big this auction is getting.”
“The donations still keep coming in,” Marin agreed. “Oh, I was supposed to tell you two something else, too. When I remember, I’ll e-mail it to you. Let me know if there’s anything else I can do. Anything, okay?”
“Have a good evening, Marin.” Aubrey tugged her little notebook from her bag and slid the folded page into it for safekeeping.
“You two have a safe trip home. I’m keeping your family in prayer.”
Something they’d heard too many times to count since they’d stepped foot inside the auxiliary hall this evening. And not just this evening, but since the moment the news about Jonas’s shooting had broken.
“We are so blessed,” she said to her twin when they were alone in the SUV. “Sometimes you never take a look to really see it.”
“And sometimes you do.” Ava started the engine and, when the warning bell dinged, remembered to buckle her seat belt. “Now, are you going to spill? I have to know what’s bothering you.”
“It’s William. And before you leap to conclusions, it’s not for the reasons you think. He’s had a hard time of it. Not everyone is as blessed as we are, with family and friends and a community.”
“That’s true. You know, Spence mentioned to me that he thought William was a good guy.”
“Does Spence know everyone?”
“Our brother is apparently cooler than we think he is. Weird, huh?” Ava put the SUV into gear and checked for other cars. “Spence said William is a decent man, high praise from our critical brother. William gives heavily to the united churches charities. Who knew? Anyway, he’s handsome and totally a Mr. Wishable and he likes you.”
“Right.” Aubrey shook her head. Ava. What was she going to do about her sister? Ava was so not in touch with the real world. Her head was always in the clouds. “Trust me, it’s not like that, and I wouldn’t want it to be. He’s not head over heels over me.”
“Why not you? You’re a cutie.”
“You have to say that. I look just like you.”
“Yes, but you’re not a disaster like I am. That ought to make you a much better catch than I ever was. So, it only stands to reason that you’ll find an even more awesome dude to fall in love with you. Why not William?”
“There’s something terribly flawed with your reasoning abilities.”
“Okay, that’s true, but I’m sure about this. Really.” She checked the mirror again and eased out of the parking spot.
William. Why did her thoughts zero back in on him? But it was more than simple thoughts, she realized. She cared about him. Really, truly cared. Whatever hardship came her way, she had family around her. Loving, supportive family to cushion her. When hardship came to her family, she had a loving extended family in friends and in the church. But what did William have?
Alone on his mountain, he had no one. No one at all. Her heart ached for him, and ached in a way that it never had before.
William left his riding boots in the mudroom off the back door and wandered through the house to the echoing kitchen. Early-evening shadows crept through the corners of the room, but the bakery box Aubrey had brought him sat square in the center of the island like a bright pink beacon. Earlier, he’d pushed Jet far into the high backcountry where there was no single sign of civilization, where the wilderness was breathtaking so he would have some chance of getting Aubrey out of his mind.
No deal. He’d been unable to do it. Aubrey’s wholesomeness had reached right in and taken a hold of him with such force that he could still feel it hours later. Nothing could make it fade.
She was unlike any woman he’d even known. She was true goodness. It was as obvious as the sun in the sky and how easily Jet had trusted her. How easily he had trusted her.
Had he made a mistake asking her to ride with him? He didn’t know. But he hoped that she was exactly what he needed.
In such a short time, she had changed him. She was like a little drop of goodness falling into his life, and she made him aware of the automaton he’d become. He’d survived by putting one foot in front of the other and just counting the days go by. That’s how he’d been living, empty of hope, faith, everything. And he couldn’t do it anymore.
He’d never forget the way she’d looked holding Jonas’s little girl in that kitchen the first time they met, or in the chapel with the light gracing her. He’d never forget how she’d looked earlier today dappled with sunlight, lovely as a summer’s dawn. That’s what made him sit down to the computer at the built-in desk in the family room.
It was the hope for hope that made him begin to type—the hope that his life wouldn’t always be like this.
It was a rare night home in their apartment and Aubrey was thankful for it. At the kitchen table, she savored the rich chocolate sundae they’d picked up on the way home and checked off things on the daily to-do list. The kids were accounted for—Dad and Dorrie were watching them tonight. Danielle was at the hospital. Jonas was reported to have incrementally improved, another small victory.
All she had left to do was e-mail the donors Marin had given her tonight. She glanced at the time on her computer screen. That would mean she’d have just enough time to squeeze in a few minutes of readi
ng before prayers and bedtime. It had been another long day, but the days were getting a little easier. She was grateful for that.
As she waited for her modem to connect, she caught sight of Ava in the living room, her feet up on the coffee table, chatting away to her fiancé. She looked so happy, and Aubrey was thankful for that, too. Her twin had had a long string of unhappy romances, so she totally deserved the great guy who’d fallen in love with her.
What was it like to be that much in love? Aubrey didn’t know. Sure, she loved reading inspirational romances and a good wholesome romantic comedy and those wonderful classics where true love always prevailed, but that wasn’t the same as actually experiencing her own happily-ever-after.
Not that she had to have one, but it sure seemed nice. She’d watched so many of her friends find it, and now her sisters. But she’d never come close. She’d spent many of her high-school years recovering from a bad riding accident. Through her early twenties, she’d walked first with a walker, then hand crutches and then a cane. She’d sported a serious limp through her midtwenties. While the limp had faded, her shyness had not. Not dating had become such a habit she didn’t even know how to go about breaking it.
Still, seeing her sister so happy made a girl start to wonder just a little. Would there ever be that kind of happiness for her?
And no, that was impossible, she ordered herself before her mind could automatically go straight to William. All she had to do was remember how remote he was, how mantled in sadness to know that he wasn’t looking for anyone. He’d lost his heart. It wasn’t as if that was something you just got over. Ever.
The computer beeped—she had two new mail messages in her in-box. One from Katherine—a quick checklist for next month’s wedding shower she wasn’t supposed to know about. So much for that secret. Aubrey mentally rolled her eyes.
And the second message was from William. Talk about a surprise. As she clicked to open it, her heart didn’t tug. Really.
Aubrey,
Wow. That was the best chocolate cake I’ve ever tasted. I owe you a big thank-you for going to the trouble of bringing it out all this way. That’s dedication to your sisters. Then again, I think your sister’s bakery has a new customer for life. I’ll stop by her place the next time I’m in town. Anything else you care to recommend?
And yes, I’m still interested in making a donation. Plying me with chocolate was an excellent idea. William
Aubrey blinked at the screen. Simply thinking of him was all it took for a lonely ache to come into her heart. Her fingers moved to the keyboard and before she’d made the decision to answer, she was already typing.
William,
While plying you with chocolate wasn’t the intent, I’m glad you liked the triple chocolate dream cake. Appropriately named, right? Check out the auction’s Web site, I’ll put the address beneath my signature. By the way, we just got a generous donation tonight from one of our parishioners. It’s an original from an inspirational photographer named William Corey. He’s amazingly gifted.
How was your trail ride?
Blessings,
Aubrey.
She hit Send and her heart gave a final, resounding thud. She felt as if she were standing on crumbling ground, as if she could see the pebbles and dirt give way beneath her feet right before she fell into the unknown. Not exactly the most comfortable feeling. Not at all, and she didn’t know why William affected her like this.
She didn’t want him to.
Now that she’d answered William, she might as well answer Katherine. She was just finishing up that message confirming that, yes, they’d remembered to invite everyone to the shower. Katherine didn’t want any of her friends to be forgotten, since it was a “surprise,” bless her. One day, Aubrey hoped to be as organized and as together as her older sister. She was ready to hit Send when a new note popped into her in-box.
From William. Really, she wasn’t affected by him. And that’s the way she intended to keep it.
Hi Aubrey,
William here. I just popped onto the Web site. You have a lot of donations. Count me in. (I’m ignoring the comment about my work—it’s nice of you.) I was surprised to see items on the site from a certain talented Miss McKaslin. You should have mentioned you were an artist. One more thing we have in common. I can e-mail you the images for your Web site, or drop off the originals. Let me know.
Jet and I had a great ride. We hit the summit of the Lone Tree Mountains. It was a long ride, but worth it. We could see all the way to Yellowstone Park. Not a bad way to spend a summer’s after noon. Have you ridden that far?
What did Annie have to say about Jet’s suggestion?
William.
Okay, she was seriously going to ignore that one more thing we have in common comment of his. They had an awful lot in common.
William,
No, I’ve never ridden that far south. Could you really see all the way to Yellowstone? That sounds like a great way to spend an afternoon to me. Did Jet have a good time, too? Or wasn’t he very talkative? I haven’t had the chance to stop by and ask Annie her opinion yet. I’ll have to get back to you on that.
As she was typing away, she heard a distant, very vague sound but kept typing.
But I think she’d be amenable to it. Her best friend, before he moved away, was a Thoroughbred, too—
“Oh, so there is no William thing, huh?”
Ava’s words jerked her out of her thoughts and brought her back into the kitchen where she sat, plain old Aubrey. Apparently, Ava had finished her nightly phone conversation with her fiancé and now she didn’t have anything better to do.
“You could be doing your share of the housework,” she couldn’t help suggesting, but Ava merely scoffed.
“Housework? Please. I am not going to be thrown off the trail, now that I know what’s going on. You like William, don’t you?”
“William’s not interested in me.”
“What kind of answer is that? You’re dodging the question.”
“I am, but the answer is obvious and you know why. I have this no-dating habit going, and it’s a habit I don’t want to break.”
“That’s not right. You’re keeping something from me.”
Aubrey hung her head. This was the first time she’d had a real secret from her sister. If Ava knew what William had told her in the hospital and if she’d seen the man’s pain when he’d tried to pray in the chapel, then she would understand. But William deserved to keep his pain private. “Trust me, he’s just interested in helping with the auction. That’s all.”
“He must really care about the auction.” Ava rolled her eyes, as if she didn’t believe any of it, and dropped to her knees to read over Aubrey’s shoulder.
As if! “Hey, this is private.”
“A trail ride, huh? Very interesting. Don’t worry. I didn’t see a thing.”
Aubrey mentally groaned. How was she ever going to convince her sister that she was fine being terminally single? It wasn’t optimal, but she could be happy either way.
Of course, that was easy to say since she’d never met William before. Men like him were no everyday, ordinary occurrence.
Ava climbed to her feet. “I’ll lay off, but I want you to know how hard I’m praying for your happiness. I can’t go and marry Brice and leave you to fend for yourself.”
“You are a nut, you know that?” Aubrey shook her head at her sister, bless her. “Do you have an early start time at the bakery tomorrow?”
“Uh, yeah. I have this huge order of Monster Muffins for a customer pick up at seven. I’ll try not to make any noise when I get up at four-thirty.”
“I’d appreciate that.”
“Get back to your e-mail. You don’t want to leave William waiting. Good night.”
Aubrey watched her twin head down the hall. Deep down, she knew that Ava was right. There was a William thing, but it wasn’t what she thought. It was friendship, nothing more. Maybe that’s why she felt so comfortable with William. Beca
use she didn’t have to worry about all those pressures and insecurities and expectations that came along with dating.
What she had to do now was finish the e-mail before her server got impatient and ate it.
—so I think Annie will say yes. Let me know when Jet would like us to come up. I’ll hitch up Annie’s trailer and we’ll hit the road.
Oh, you can drop off any donation at the bookstore or Ava’s shop. Or I can always send someone out to pick it up. Let me know what’s convenient for you.
I’ll keep you in prayer,
Aubrey
She waited till the message was sent and then logged off. Had she ever felt so comfortable with a person of the male persuasion? Only with family. It was telling. It was a relief.
She and William really could be just friends. They had a lot in common. They were both alone. They were both without riding buddies. With him, she didn’t feel like plain, average Aubrey, and it was nice. Very nice.
When she said her prayers tonight, she would remember to put William in them, not only as someone to pray for, but as a friend she was thankful for. What could be better than that?
Chapter Eight
As she pulled into the small strip mall’s parking lot and into a shady spot, Aubrey wasn’t sure what mood she was in. It had been several days since she’d exchanged e-mails with William and vowed not to think of him, but had it worked? Not as well as she would have liked.
The minute she stepped out of the air-conditioned car, she started to melt. It was another blistering central Montana summer day, and everything was crackly dry. She did her best not to think of how refreshing the green foothills outside of town looked, and the mountains—and William—beyond them.
She hitched her bag higher onto her shoulder, locked the car and started toward the bakery. The newly renovated shop glistened with charm and newness. The long row of front windows were shaded by a cheerful yellow-striped awning and soft white shades that made the storefront look picture-perfect.