by Crymsyn Hart
“Gods, you smell more like us now than before. I first noticed it when you were in my arms in the crypt.” He nipped the side of her throat. She wound her hand into his ebony hair, trailing it through the silky strands.
“I guess it’s that part Cas gave to me. I assume you enjoy it.”
He nibbled her a little harder. “You have no idea. I can sense your desire for me. It tastes like cloves on your skin. I know, in human terms, this is too sudden, this attraction. I shouldn’t want you. Whether it’s the component of you that’s dragon or the piece of me that recognizes that or something else completely different, I have no idea. I want to take this slow with you. I don’t want to scare you. Hurt you. The urge to taste all of you and drink in your warmth is driving me mad.” Andrik captured her lips again and crushed her to him.
His hard erection pressed against her stomach. He ran his tongue across her lips. She yearned to taste and to have him. He’s right. This is too soon. I’ve never had this happen before, but I want him, too. When he pulled away, she could breathe.
“What does that mean?” she asked.
“I keep forgetting you’re not dragonkin. When we make love in human form, we share each other’s power. It’s a bonding so we don’t forget what we are. It was a gift given to us from the first pair of our kind. Even if we’re not mates, the sharing can happen.”
This time she was the one who stepped back, breaking the contact between them. What am I doing? I’ve never wanted any man more than I desire him, but I’m not going to fall prey to some animal instinct inside of me. She closed her eyes and drew in a long breath. The fire inside of her blazed higher the longer she was around him. Kestrel didn’t know what would happen to her if she gave herself over to those yearnings. I can’t do this now. I have to get my bearings and figure this all out. If they can show me how to use this power, then maybe I can think about having a relationship with him.
“I think it’s a good idea to go back to my room. I . . .” She looked down at her feet, not able to meet his gaze.
He lifted her chin. The understanding in his eyes was clear. “It’s okay. Come on.” He offered her his hand. She entwined her fingers through his and smiled. The closeness made her feel secure and even human.
He’s right. I have to embrace my life. I have to start living now and not in the past. After all these years, someone sees me for me and not a pariah.
He led her to her door and stopped. Andrik took their combined hands and brought them to his lips. He kissed the back of her hand and then released her. “I’ll let you sleep. I’ll speak to Ralag about coming to see you tomorrow. He wants to talk to you, and you need things to wear. We shall get you all settled. You never have to worry about anyone ever calling you an outcast again. You belong here with us.”
She glanced at him and smiled. “Thank you, Andrik. I appreciate all of this. But what about this thing between us? What do we do?”
“We ignore it for now, until we’re both ready to explore it.” He touched her cheek lightly before stepping back into the corridor.
She gripped the handle to her door and pushed it in. “Good night.”
“Night.”
Chapter Seven
The next day, Ralag woke her and dragged her to a seamstress. The older woman eyed her, but said nothing. If she did ask a question, Ralag spoke to her. She took Kestrel’s measurements and then showed her enough cloth to make several dresses. Kestrel ran her hands over the fine material.
“Ralag, this is fine fabric. My stipend as a spellcaster is pitiful. I can’t pay for any of it.”
He chuckled. “Andrik asked me to take care of everything. When the prince of any realm considers you his personal guest, you do whatever he says. Besides, with all the queries I have for you, you might want to think twice about what you’re getting involved with.”
She smiled. “Questions I can take. I’ve had no one to talk to for so long. It’s nice for someone to take an interest in me. Ask me anything you want, but I was hoping you could answer a question for me.”
“Ask away, milady.”
“Last night Andrik showed me the crypt where all the other dragons were. Why do you keep them so near?”
“We keep them to remember them and teach our children where we come from. The bodies decompose and eventually crumble to dust. We also don’t want any raiders robbing our dead and using them for spare parts. The ones in the tomb are special because they are all shifters, all dragonkin.”
“What about you? Do you shift at all?”
Ralag laughed. “I didn’t inherent that trait. My brother and I are twins, but he got the ability and was therefore in line to rule. Only one of my daughters has two forms. The others are akin to me. Their children will most likely not be able to become dragons. After the third generation, the shifting gene goes dormant. Our offspring carry the genes, but do not have our longevity and are more likely to be spellcasters. Many of the surrounding villages house extended family. We protect them if they get into any trouble. Now what about you?”
“What about me?”
“I assume you never got an instruction manual on how to control the power that Castigan bestowed upon you or how to incorporate it into your life.”
“Hardly. The last thing I truly remember was Cas giving me his power, feeling him die, and then going a little mad. I was fifty years of crazy. The spellcasters locked me away until they were sure I was sane. In my fugue state, I hurt a good friend of mine.”
Ralag nodded. “I can teach you how to control it and the fire when we’re done here.”
“I’d like that.” Kestrel picked up another bolt of fabric. It was cobalt blue, the same color of dragon that had killed Castigan. She winced at the memory and pushed it away. “What is Andrik’s favorite color?”
Ralag raised an eyebrow and leaned over his cane. “Thinking of our prince now?”
She felt her cheeks burn. “I was just curious. He told me about his wife and how she died.”
“Losing Lara was a hard blow. She brought a brightness to this place we hadn’t seen since the queen died giving birth to Andrik. After her death, the king sunk into a depression. You saw the state of the throne room.”
“What happened to her?”
“She gave birth in human form. Andrik had a twin, but she was born deformed. She should have been human, but was a mixture of both. Andrik was born first, but they had to cut his sister out. An infection set in that we couldn’t cure. Sometimes it happens. Our human forms are tougher than mortals’, but we are still susceptible to human disease. Many of the shifters prefer dragon form.”
Kestrel nodded. The information was intriguing. She wanted to discover all she could about the culture she had been thrown into. “Thanks.”
“My pleasure.” Ralag hobbled over and examined the fabrics. “That one.”
He pointed to a deep purple. She ran her hand over the cloth and felt the silk. I’ve never had anything this fine. She held it up to herself and imagined the dress it would make. A garment with a train, a high collar, and laced with black stays at the bodice. The seamstress returned. She pointed to the fabric and explained what she wanted. The woman said something, nodded, and then waved them off. Ralag gestured toward the door.
“She said she’ll get them next week. I think you’ll be okay until then.”
Kestrel spent the rest of the day going with Ralag and getting the rest of the things she would need, from undergarments, shoes, and toiletries, to even a chest to be made for her new clothes. By the time dinner came along, Ralag showed her the way to the kitchens. She had no idea where she was in the mountain, even if all the hallways were connected. After dinner, she fell into bed exhausted.
The next day Ralag woke her early again, and he brought her to the practice field. Men and women fought with swords, and youngsters were using spells. He had her demonstrate her spellcaster powers. Everything he asked her was simple. Then he made her throw dragon fire at him. Next he instructed her to pull the power s
he had inside of her. She tried to tap into it, feeling warm, but wasn’t able to do what he wanted. After hours of him barking orders, night had fallen. He brought her back to her rooms. She ate and then collapsed into bed.
Kestrel spent the next three weeks with Ralag learning how to use her power. It had been so long since she had been a student, she was out of practice. Each morning was early, and each night was late. Some nights she dreamed of Castigan flying with her, and other nights she was with Andrik. She dreamed he could come to her by moonlight. His robes would be open, and all she had to do was touch him. Andrik would whisper he wanted her, and she’d give herself over to him willingly. They were together. Their bodies entwined until she wasn’t sure where her limbs ended and his began. His soft lips learned all of her arousal points. His hard cock slid into her wet depths, bringing her pleasure beyond belief. At the heights of her ecstasy, she would awake with a deep need inside of her that she wasn’t sure how to fill. The urge to go to him was overwhelming her, but she fought it. Those nights she found it hard to get back to sleep. The separation she experienced from Andrik was growing. The urge to hold him and get to know him better expanded in her soul.
One night, she stared at the stone ceiling, and sleep eluded her. She pulled a robe over her nightdress and left her room. She ran her hand through her hair and noticed how much everything hurt from Ralag’s training. He was right when he said I’d hate him asking me questions. Oh well, it’s nice to be involved again. Producing a small orb of dragon fire to light her way, she wound along the deserted halls. The minds of the dragons around her were at peace, many of them sleeping. Good thing one of the first things Ralag taught me was to block them all out if I need to. It was nice to be around when everything was so quiet. The cool air of the oncoming winter blew through the mountain, but she barely noticed it. She let her instincts guide her along the maze of corridors until she came to the door that led into the dragons’ crypt.
Kestrel wasn’t sure if she was allowed inside or not. No one was there to stop her. Biting her lip, she opened it and looked around.
The fireball followed her when she slipped inside. The room was chillier than the rest of the tunnels. She rubbed her arms to ward off the cold. She blew into her hands and watched her breath come out in a fog. Kestrel conjured another fireball and threw it up into the air to light her way, the way she had seen Andrik do. It hit one of the chandeliers and illuminated the cavern. She discovered she was standing by the mouth of a dragon. Its teeth were sharp, but she didn’t want to disturb it. Even among the dead, she assumed the essence of the elder dragons lingered. The cavern ran half the length of the mountain and sloped downward. Finally she came to Castigan.
For the first time, her grief didn’t overpower her. At last she was coming to terms with the sadness she had carried.
“It’s funny, Cas. After all this time, I’ve been mourning your death, stuck away in a library. Now, here I am back at the place you were stolen from. At least you got to come home. It would’ve been nice for you to know your heritage. Ralag says if you had been raised here and able to shift, you could’ve been human. They called you dragonkin. All those times I teased you about finding a mate, here you go giving me that part of yourself that marked me for your mate. If only we knew. There are so many what-ifs. So many questions I have and no one can answer them for me. So many desires. I don’t know what it is about Andrik. I don’t know if he’s you reborn or I have some strange connection with him. I’m drawn to him. It’s not because part of me recognizes him either. I like him.”
She ran her hand along the dragon’s head. On impulse, she sat down in the crook of his leg and rested her head. Kestrel closed her eyes and imagined for a brief moment he was alive, the gentle thunder of his breathing that pushed her up and down when she leaned against his chest. Castigan would wrap her in his wings to keep her warm during the long sieges and when she had no tent. The first time she saw the large dragon swooping down at her from the skies, a little voice inside of her said not to be afraid of him. The villagers and her parents thought she would be eaten. She had stared up at him and known he wouldn’t hurt her. No force on Earth could have made her move when he landed in front of their house, careful not to disturb even the slightest tree or fencing her father had built for the livestock. She had been four when he came for her.
I’ve never understood how dragons choose their spellcasters. Even Castigan never fully knew. He just said one day he woke up and had an urge to fly somewhere. He kept flying until he found me. All part of the magic of this world, I guess.
“What am I going to do, Cas? I have feelings for Andrik. Then we wanted to take this slow. I wanted to take this slow. Which I admit is good. Now it’s been almost a month and nothing. My dreams are driving me mad. I can barely sleep some nights thinking about him. You’d come back with some snide remark that I shouldn’t have to wait on him and if I really wanted to knock boots to go find him. I’m not that girl anymore. That carefree one who dared defy the Athenaeum. I still have her temper, but I’ve learned to be very quiet and still. It’s helped. Of course that’s what got me here. Stopping and listening. You said to go back to the source. Here I am. Now Ralag has me training to use the power you gave me. Sometimes I feel less like myself when I’m engulfed in it. I’m afraid of what it’ll do to me. Maybe losing myself is a good thing. I’m clumsy with it, but he says I’ll get the hang of the power and the fire. He was surprised how well I could manipulate that. Years of burning inside of me, I guess. That was the one thing the Athenaeum had me use. I don’t think Simeon expected me to live. I didn’t either. Part of me had hoped it would all end and I could be with you. I know that’s not what you wanted. I don’t want that anymore. I want to live. I want to hear Andrik say my name. Have him desire me. Maybe even for a wife.”
“But I do want you.”
Kestrel stood up. Andrik stood on the other side of Castigan’s foot. Her eyes widened. “H-How long have you been here?”
He smiled a little. He wore nothing more than dark, billowing pants. His tanned, sculpted chest was exposed, showing three scars over his torso that could have been made with claws. His dark hair hung loose on his back. The sight of him stopped her breath. Flashes of warmth raced along her veins. The animation of what he would say or do next hung in the air. He was a god stepping out of the darkness to this world, and he had appeared before her.
“Long enough.”
“What did you hear?” She couldn’t meet his eyes.
He stepped forward and pulled her into his arms. His lips met hers in a fierce kiss. At the first touch of his flesh, she melted into him. Everything she had dreamed was right there within her grasp. The warmth of his skin only made her hotter. It stoked her desire and made her wet. His hands wound into her hair, and she felt wetness slipping along her cheeks. The tears were not hers. Andrik pulled away and pressed his forehead against hers. She searched his eyes, seeing his openness for the first time. The total opposite of how he had been when he first barged through her door.
“What’s the matter? What did I do? What did I say?”
He shook his head. “Nothing. Everything. I went up to your room, and you weren’t there. I had to find you and had a feeling you were here. I heard you talking. Everything you said turned my heart. And then you said you wanted me for a husband. Did I hear you right?”
Kestrel took his face in her hands. His skin was smooth against her palms. His expression was innocent and expectant. Seeing him before her, it seemed all of her dreams had come true, but she hadn’t expected to bare her soul to him.
“Yes, I said that, but I was venting. I don’t know. Where have you been these past few weeks? I’ve missed you.” She kissed his soft lips and rubbed her cheek against his. She trailed her hands down his chest, feeling his hard muscles. “Ralag’s been teaching me to use my powers. There were nights I dreamed about us. Together, making love. Other nights I thought you were in pain. I dreamed about you alone and raging. I couldn’t help you.
I wanted to. Then morning came. And Ralag started the routine over again. We started out hot, and then we slowed. Then you were gone.”
She buried her face in his shoulder, inhaling the smoky aroma of his skin. Before she could help it, she began kissing his chest slowly, until she came to his nipple. She flicked her tongue over the pert bud. Her teeth grazed it. Andrik groaned. A deep rumble sounded in his chest that reminded her of Cas. To hear it again, she moved to the other nipple and did the same. The growl reverberated through her and made her even wetter. He guided her lips back to his and kissed her hungrily, parting her lips with tongue. She met it with her own, tasting him and touching until their bodies were so pressed together she could feel his erection poking against her thigh.
“I went away because I had to think. I needed to sort out my feelings for you. I had to detach from the past. I had to separate from you. I never meant it to hurt you. When you dreamed of me, I dreamed the same of you.”
She kissed the space above his heart and studied his eyes. “And what did you figure out?” Kestrel prayed the answer would go in her favor. The pull between them was definitely something more than she could fathom. If he was her dragon come back to her, then the gods had answered her prayers. What she felt with Andrik eclipsed anything she had ever experienced in her life.
He stroked her cheek. “That I can’t live my life without you. Whatever has brought us together has blessed us. I went to an ancient one among us, and she helped me relive my past. I was Castigan. His memories came alive to me. The feelings for you never died. I knew your smiling face when I first looked upon you as a child. The tears you had for me while my life dwindled away. She helped me divide them. In this lifetime, I never thought it possible to feel this way again. I’ve been given another chance. I feel the pull between us to mate. I was on my way back when I saw a band of thieves gathering near one of the towns. Many of the raiders know the local villagers are related to us. They think their blood is magical. It’s only human. I rushed in and stopped them. I was able to take out a few, but some of them got away. I made it back here as soon as I could and told Father. He’ll gather forces to take care of them.”